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Braham spent most days laying in bed, shamans coming in to speak with him every few hours. The power of Primordius had rippled through his body and when it was gone, it had left him deflated, wounded. More than that, the Spirits of the Wild who had protected him, now silent. It worried him.
Dragon's Watch checked in regularly. Taimi had a regular shipment of her own pain elixirs sent to him, which he appreciated but didn't use often at all. He usually gave the extras away to the hunters who came back with less limbs than they went out with. Rytlock came to Cragstead one time, gave Braham a rough hug, and said to send a bird if he ever needed anything. Braham had chalked it up to Rytlock regretting how Ryland turned out. He never sent that bird even though he really should have.
Marjory came once a month to ask how his insides felt. As she had been struck down by a god, she understood the recovery could be brutal. It wasn't the same, she admitted, but it was closer than anyone else. Braham appreciated it nonetheless. Sometimes Kas would accompany and bring Krytan treats. Braham loved the two of them - it always made him wonder if he could find someone who clicked with him the way they clicked.
Which always made him twist with guilt about Rox. Rox had been with the Olmakhan for a few years now. She had made a life there, better than before. How could he argue with that? She deserved peace in this world just as much as he did. Possibly more than he did. He had done a lot more wrong than she had. The angry words he threw at the Commander would keep him awake at night. The goodbyes he never said to his guildmates who faced Jormag with him. The anger he threw at Eir.
More than Primordius leaving a void in his body's power, guilt made his stomach turn. Regrets for the days passed. One day, he admitted these feelings to the shamans. They each had their own advice. None of it stuck with Braham.
Once when Marjory came alone, he asked how she handled regret. She pressed her lips into a flat line and thought for a bit.
"I think I worked through it. I keep myself busy. I talk with the people I hurt or who hurt me." Braham scoffed.
"I wish I could do that with Jormag. Or my guildmates. Or my mom." Marjory sighed.
"With Belinda… I don't even know. I think I have to work on helping people she would have helped. Honoring her through my actions. Have you honored those people with your actions?" Braham laughed, holding his ribs.
"I barely honor myself through my actions, Jory. But thanks. I think I understand."
"I know you aren't battle ready yet. But feel free to reach out when you are and we can spar. I don't remember the last time I took down a burly Norn hunter who thought they were better than everyone." Marjory stood up as she spoke, giving Braham a friendly shove on the shoulder.
"Hey! I don't think that! …anymore."
"And there's the dig. Take care of yourself, Braham." And Marjory left for another month. Braham thought of her words for that month. Chewed on them as he started to chop logs for Cragstead as a way to build his endurance again. After another month, he managed a small hunt.
He couldn't change the past. He accepted this when his muscles would ripple in pain from the residual dragon magic. Taimi didn't read any dragon magic in him and he had asked plenty for checks and re-checks. She said it must have been in his mind, a memory of the pain.
All he could do was honor the people he lost. The people he still loves, alive or gone.
Most of all, for the Commander, he allowed himself to help and be helped. Easier said than done most days, but some days, he would take a full serving of help - someone to check his wounds, someone to bring him food, someone to clean his bedding. It was easier when it was Dragon's Watch - they knew he was strong and could handle himself. They just all needed a little help sometimes. The other Norn helped him in a reverent way, they were adding to their legends by helping the Norn of Prophecy. It was harder to handle that kind of help.
Years later, when he fought the Void outbreak of Cragstead and Hoelbrak, he finally started to feel strong again. Three long years of recovery to begin to feel strong again. He didn't feel emotionally recovered though. He wanted to isolate. Keep his troubles away. The visits had slowed. The shipments had stopped. They still all cared - life just carried on. He put all these thoughts aside to handle the Void. It was the end of the world, all over again. At least it wasn't his fault this time.
Living through the end of the world multiple times does funny things to someone's mind. For Braham, it made him insecure when he wasn't saving the world. Nobody needed anything from him unless he was going to slay a dragon. Why would they?
Which is why when Braham got a letter from Marjory and Kasmeer asking for him to come to the Dead End Bar, the place where they first celebrated the end of Scarlet, he sat alone and cried over it. There were no more dragons to slay. No more need for Braham. And they still invited him.