Chapter Text
I couldn't believe it when he told me. I'd never trusted anyone as much as him and with a few short sentences that trust crumbled, along with my heart. I'd taken a trip to England to visit my family, I was gone for five days. Not even a week. And he'd taken what the two of us had spent the last six months building, the trusting, happy relationship we had, and thrown it to the desert wind for one impulsive moment of weakness. My reaction was not uncalled for. I wanted to hurt him, I wanted to make him feel the pain that I was feeling, I wanted him to feel like the absolute prick he was.
"Baby I need to talk to you. Need to be honest." He'd said, moments after I'd walked through the trailer door and he'd kissed me. Told me he'd missed me.
"Okay..." I'd frowned at him, taken aback by his strange behaviour. He stepped away from me and leaned against the kitchen counter and ran a hand through his thinning hair. "Trevor?" I prompted.
"I don't want to keep this from you... But I want you to know that I regretted it as soon as it was over. It was a moment of weakness, I was high, I was-" He rushed to explain and I narrowed my eyes, interrupting him.
"Spit it out."
"I... I slept with a working girl while you were away." He said, and I could hear his shame. "Baby, I'm sorry. I wish I could go back and change what I did, but I can't so I needed to be honest with you!"
"You cheated on me? I leave the country for five fucking days and you cheat on me with a hooker?" I murmured numbly, and a little sound came from the back of my throat, a hopeless one that I didn't control. I felt like someone had stuck a white hot metal rod through my chest, and was twisting it from side to side, dragging out the agony. This couldn't be happening again, I thought I'd been hurt enough in my past relationships.
"I'm so fucking sorry, angel. I'm going to make it up to you!" He took a step towards me, reaching for me but I held my hands up, halting him.
"Fuck. You." I whispered, his face contorted into this wince and he started shaking his head. "I trusted you!" I yelled, flailing a fist at him and hitting his shoulder as hard as I could.
"Sweetheart-"
"Don't fucking sweetheart me! You asshole!" I hit him again and again, slapping and punching his stupid body, he started backing away from me. "I told you about my ex boyfriends, how I've been cheated on three times, no, make that four times in a fucking row." I picked up the object closest to me, a box of cereal, and hurled it at him. It sent cereal flying everywhere before it hit the arm he raised to cover his face. "How could you?"
"I know, I'm a fucking douchebag and you can yell and hit me as much as you want baby, but I need you!" He yelled at me, he seemed genuinely upset but through the crimson haze of my vision I couldn't register it.
"Clearly you don't! You've got your working girls. You know what I've sacrificed to be with you?" I grabbed a half empty can of Sprunk and launched it at him, drenching him in the stuff. "A real career." I sent a spoon flying at his head. "My family, since I would have gone back to England long ago if it weren't for you!" Then an empty chinese takeout box. "My fucking dignity, at times. Dragging you home in just your underwear, covered in your own piss and god knows what else when you've been out doing... Whatever it is you do when you disappear for days on end without a word!" I threw a soggy, dirty dishcloth at him, it slapped him square in the face but he barely reacted.
"(Y/N) I'm sorry! I know I've been a terrible boyfriend. But please just give me a second chance!" He groveled to me, bringing hands together to plead with me. I snorted, shaking my head. Tears were running down my face at this point.
"Maybe my brother was right about you." I mumbled.
"Forgive me." He whispered, getting onto his knees in front of me. He sounded like he was about to cry. Good.
"Do you think I ever forgave my ex boyfriends?" I asked him calmly. He looked up at me with teary eyes and made this pathetic whimpering sound.
"But you said what we had was different from them!" He started bawling like a child, snivelling and wailing with snot under his nose. I cringed at the sight.
"And you said you'd never cheat on me! You know what I've been through in the past, I didn't think you'd be cruel enough to put me through it yourself!" I screamed, wiping away the tears on my cheeks only for them to be replaced by more.
"I'll never do it again, I love you! It was the biggest mistake of my life, I just missed you so much and I messed up. Please." He told me, moving closer and grabbing my thigh, staring up at me from his place on the floor.
"When you've been fucked around as much as I have, you learn to give people only one chance." I spat cruelly at him, hoping my words felt like a stab to the heart, just like his did. "Thanks for telling me before I unpacked."
"No. You're not leaving me!" He yelled, staggering to his feet when I pulled myself away from him and headed for the door, picking up my suitcase on my way.
"Watch me."
"Don't!" He shouted angrily, grabbing my arm and squeezing it tightly. "I'm not letting you out of my sight until we've talked about this properly."
"I've said everything I need to say, Trevor, now let go of my arm. It hurts." He reluctantly let go, but still followed me out of the trailer.
"You can't do this to me! You can't leave me like everybody else!" He shouted, walking one step behind me.
"If you can pay some bitch to get you off while I'm away, then I can do this to you." My eyes filled with tears again at the thought. The image of some skinny, drug addled whore riding my boyfriend for money. It made me nauseous. He was supposed to love me, and make love to only me, it was supposed to be something only we could share. And he abused it, used it for only his pleasure and nothing else. That hurt more than anything.
"If you leave me, it'll destroy me. Baby don't do it!" His voice wavered and cracked and I rolled my eyes.
"Your guilt trips won't work on this occasion, Trevor. Have fun with your hand and your whores." I called back to him, turning briefly to wave at him sarcastically.
"Well... Consider yourself fired!" He stopped in his tracks and yelled after me. I stuck my middle finger up in the air, pointing it back at him, as I stormed towards my own trailer.