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Finn puts the phone to his ear, saying “Hello?” as in the background, Birb shrieks “Fuck me harder!” Finn puts his hand over the mouthpiece and shouts, “Puck! Can you shut up the Birb?” He takes his hand away from the mouthpiece again. “Hi. Sorry. Ignore the bird.”
“Finn?” Kurt says. “Did you just say that was a bird screaming?”
“Yeah. That’s Birb. We own him kind of accidentally. He repeats stuff a little too good,” Finn says.
“Repeats stuff. Really,” Kurt says flatly.
Birb shrieks “Harder!” again.
“Asparagus!” Finn shouts at Birb, which shuts him up and makes him start banging his food bowl with his bill, demanding his treat. “Sorry. We’re still working on phone manners. So what’s up? How are you?”
“Can you pick me up at the airport tomorrow?” Kurt asks. “And… I don’t know where exactly I’m going.”
“What time? As long as it’s after four, it shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Oh. No, my flight arrives at 12:55. I’ll need to wait until four, then?”
“Puck can probably get you,” Finn says. “What’s going on? Why don’t—”
“Oh shit oh shit oh shit!” Birb says.
“Goddammit, asparagus!” Finn shouts back. “Puck, will you please give the bird his treat so I can hear what Kurt’s saying?”
“First you told me I should work, now you tell me I should feed Birb. So demanding,” Puck says.
“Yeah, yeah, you can take it out of me later,” Finn says.
Puck grins and kisses Finn before getting Birb from the cage and taking him to the kitchen. “I will!” Puck says over his shoulder.
“As I was saying,” Kurt says, “I arrive at 12:55, but I’m sure waiting won’t be—”
“No, Puck can get you. He’s only got morning classes tomorrow, and he’s done by noon. What’s going on, though? Are you visiting Burt and Mom?” Finn asks.
Kurt sighs. “I caught Blaine with someone else. Again.”
“Oh. Oh shit, Kurt. I’m sorry,” Finn says. “Are you doing okay?”
“I’m leaving him this time. I know he doesn’t believe me yet. I don’t know how to tell Dad, and I remembered him saying you were closer to Columbus now. You are, right?”
“Yeah, we’re in Marion. Did you need to stay with us for a little while?” Finn asks.
“I’m sure I’ll—I don’t know. Maybe I should,” Kurt says quietly. “Do you have the room?”
“Yeah. We’ve got a guest room. It’s more like a storage space at the moment, but there is a bed in it, at least. You’re welcome to stay with us as long as you need to.”
“Oh. Well, thank you. Are you sure that’ll be fine with Puck?”
“Sure, it’ll be great,” Finn says. “We’ll go to the Perkins tomorrow night, get you some pie. Just email me or Puck your flight info, okay?”
“Okay. I suppose I’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Kurt says. “Thank you.”
“No problem. Have a safe flight out.” Finn ends the call and puts his phone down, looking around the room for Puck. “Hey, Puck?”
“Still feeding Birb apple!” Puck calls from the kitchen.
Finn forces himself to sound as upbeat as possible as he walks towards the kitchen. “Kurt’s flying in tomorrow around one. Can you pick him up at the Columbus airport?”
“Uhh. Okay,” Puck says. “Where’s he going?”
“Uh. Here.”
“What, for dinner? He suddenly changed his mind and decided we’re queer enough to eat with?” Puck asks.
“For a couple of nights, maybe,” Finn says.
“Nights. Here.” Puck looks over at Finn. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“It’s special circumstances, babe. He and Blaine are splitting up,” Finn says.
“Really?” Puck waits until Finn nods. “So right on schedule?”
“Yeah. Blaine was cheating. Again,” Finn says. “I didn’t have the heart to tell Kurt no, he couldn’t stay with us. Maybe it’ll be better this time. He’ll probably just be glad to be around family, right?”
Puck snorts. “Like he considers me family. I don’t know if he considers you family, ‘cause he sure hasn’t treated you like family for the past few years. He could have stayed at a hotel! Or with, you know, his dad.”
“I offered, okay?” Finn says. “If he acts like an asshole, we’ll take him to Lima. I’ll take him. You won’t have to talk to him at all, even.”
“Except for when I pick him up at the airport tomorrow?” Puck shakes his head. “If he complains about the noise or Birb…”
“He won’t. If he does, kick him out. Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it. I just feel sorry for him. I feel sad for him,” Finn says. He puts his arms around Puck, ignoring Birb’s bitching about the apple piece in Puck’s hand being moved too far away.
“I’m not gloating or anything! I just think it’s convenient he had no use for you while he was still with Blaine, but now he can lower himself, since he needs a space to land that isn’t Burt,” Puck says, leaning his head against Finn’s shoulder.
“I’m the one who said he should stay with us. We knew this was probably going to happen eventually, so maybe it’s better if he stays with us, not somebody who’ll act surprised or ask him too many questions,” Finn says.
“Fine.” Puck sighs. “I’m not happy about it, though.”
“I know. We’re happy, though. You and me,” Finn says. He kisses the side of Puck’s face.
“Well, yeah.” Puck turns his head enough to kiss Finn’s neck. “You trying to start something?”
Finn makes a shocked sound. “Me? I’d never start something!”
“Oh, you’d start something,” Puck says with a laugh. “You’d just leave it to me to finish it.”
“Only because I know you’re the best finisher,” Finn says. He runs a hand down Puck’s back to grab his ass.
“Oh yeah?” Puck puts his arms around Finn and presses closer. “What kind of finishing did you have in mind?”
“The kind where we put Birb in the guestroom so he doesn’t learn any new phrases just in time for Kurt to get here.”
Puck laughs. “I think if you want Birb to stop having a potty mouth, you already missed the window.”
Puck grumbles to himself after Finn leaves for the work the next morning, through his two classes, and throughout the drive to the airport. Kurt’s attitude towards the two of them hasn’t changed a great deal in the last five years, or at least it hasn’t the few times they’ve seen him. Puck pulls up the email that Finn had forwarded from Kurt, double-checking the time, and then he decides to be the bigger person and all of that and park instead of making Kurt wait on the sidewalk.
It doesn’t even surprise him when the board changes Kurt’s flight from ‘on time’ to ‘delayed’, and after waiting ten minutes, he goes up to the counter to ask how long it’ll be delayed. The man tells him five more minutes, which Puck interprets as meaning fifteen, so it’s almost a pleasant surprise when it’s only ten minutes. Kurt has a carry-on that looks almost too big for regulations, so Puck starts to lead Kurt back to the lot.
“Wait! My bags!” Kurt says, and Puck stops, looking at him questioningly. “My checked baggage.”
“You have more. Okay.” Puck sighs and follows Kurt to the baggage claim area, where Kurt retrieves two of the largest suitcases that Puck’s ever seen. “Guess it’s a good thing I sold the motorcycle, ‘cause there’s no way I could tie those on the back. Even as much room as the Civic’s got in the trunk, I think you’ll need to put the carry-on in the backseat.”
“You drive a Civic?”
“You have something against Hondas?”
“No, no. It’s fine. It’s not important,” Kurt says, and Puck snorts to himself. Even Kurt’s reassurances sound like it’s not fine. Maybe Hondas aren’t queer enough. Puck opens the trunk and then the passenger side doors, and as he walks around the front to the driver’s side, both of the doors close, and Puck sighs when he realizes that Kurt’s left the two suitcases sitting behind the car, the trunk still open, clearly expecting Puck to put them into the trunk.
“I’m not the valet,” Puck says after he loads the suitcases and gets into the car.
“I thought you’d like an opportunity to use your ‘guns’,” Kurt says snottily, and Puck rolls his eyes.
“You’re damn lucky Finn’s a better person than you are.”
“So are you,” Kurt says.
“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?” Puck steers out of the lot, headed back for the interstate and wishing there were fewer than two hours until four instead of more than two hours.
“Since you tricked him into your relationship, you’re lucky he decided to continue to go along with it, is all,” Kurt says with enough certainty that Puck knows he’s not specifically trying to bait him. Kurt really does seem to believe what he’s saying.
“That’s what you fucking think. That’s ridiculous,” Puck says flatly. “You can tell that one to Finn to his face. For now, shut up. I’m sure you have earbuds or something.”
“Fine.” Kurt does pull out earbuds, and Puck turns the radio up a little higher. He doesn’t speak to Kurt the entire drive back to Marion, and he doesn’t say anything when they get to the house, either. He opens the trunk again, then goes to the porch and waits for Kurt to haul the suitcases out of the trunk, close the trunk, and then get them up the four stairs to the porch.
“Guestroom’s a little crowded, but the bed’s clear,” Puck says as they step into the house. He braces himself slightly, waiting for any snide remarks, if Kurt’s first and only visit to their old apartment back in Lima is any indication of how he might act this time. “Kitchen, living room, that’s our bedroom and our bathroom, here’s the guestroom and the bathroom you can use. Sometimes Birb flies around, so don’t freak out.”
“You let the bird fly around inside?” Kurt looks mildly horrified.
“He likes it.” Puck opens the guestroom door. “Ignore the boxes. We’ve only been here eight months.”
“I see.” Kurt looks around distastefully before dropping his carry-on onto the bed and sitting on it. “And what time will Finn be home?”
“Fuck, oh fuck!” Birb announces. “Please, please Puck, please.”
Kurt looks like he can’t decide if he wants to shut himself away from Birb or possibly shut Birb away, and Puck grins. “Around four. Right, Birb?”
“Apple? Apple for a good Birb.”
“Yeah, I’ll get you an apple, Birb,” Puck says. “We’ll let Kurt do whatever you do after flying from New York to Columbus.”
Puck heads down the hall with Birb, and as he reaches the kitchen, he hears Kurt shut the bedroom door. After Birb eats some apple, Puck pulls up his schoolwork, and he can hear Kurt go into the bathroom after several minutes. Kurt doesn’t leave the guestroom again the remainder of the afternoon, and Puck sighs with relief when he hears Finn’s Rav4 pulling in. He closes his laptop and stands up, unlocking the door before Finn can.
“I tricked you home for another day!” Puck says.
“Yeah? Was I not coming home otherwise?” Finn asks, immediately pulling Puck into a kiss.
“Maybe not,” Puck says. He doesn’t release Finn, kissing him harder. “I apparently tricked you into all of this. Either I am really good, or you’re really gullible, in that scenario.”
“You’re good, alright. You’re really good,” Finn says. “I can be good, too.”
“Good day at school, frisky?” Puck asks, laughing. “Students did everything they were supposed to, huh?” He slides his hands down Finn’s back and squeezes his ass, pinching it just a little.
“Mmmhmm. I did everything I was supposed to do, too,” Finn says.
“Are you sure about that? Nothing not even a little bit naughty?”
“I wouldn’t ever be naughty,” Finn says, pressing himself against Puck. “I’m always so good. You know I’m so good. All the time.”
“I know you are.” Puck pinches Finn again, slowly running his hand forward along Finn’s belt. “You need help changing clothes?”
“Sometimes I have a hard time doing it all by myse—”
“Did I hear—oh!” Kurt says suddenly, from a lot closer than Puck thinks he should be, which means they must not have heard the guestroom door open. “Oh!”
Finn lifts his head, looking at Kurt with surprise. “Oh! Hey, Kurt! I totally forgot you were coming in today.”
“I can see that,” Kurt says with a tight smile. “It’s good to see you.”
“You, too,” Finn says. “Your flight was okay?”
“It was fine, yes.” Kurt looks to either side and then back at Finn. “I suppose you have more questions.”
“I’m not trying to be nosy or anything. If you aren’t ready to talk about it, you don’t have to,” Finn says.
“I want to be nosy,” Puck mutters under his breath.
“You did offer to let me stay.” Kurt looks around the living room again. “Is—where do the two of you usually sit?”
“Uh. Sofa, mostly,” Finn says. “We can all go sit down and talk, if you need to. You want some coffee or something?”
Kurt shakes his head, and Puck pulls Finn with him onto the sofa, sitting up straight and letting Finn’s head rest on his chest. “Comfy?” Puck asks Finn quietly.
“Yeah,” Finn says.
“I’m not just throwing my marriage away!” Kurt says as soon as he sits down. “It was the third time, Finn. The third time! You’d leave after the second time, wouldn’t you?”
“I can’t even imagine one time,” Finn says quietly, looking at Puck.
“No, me either,” Puck says, shaking his head.
Kurt rolls his eyes. “One night stands happen to everyone. Don’t hold yourselves up as so perfect.”
“We’re not,” Puck says. “Go on.”
“He said the second time was just a one-night thing, too, but I don’t know. He seemed to know Blaine awfully well. And Blaine swore it wouldn’t happen again. That was a year ago. I started wondering a few months ago, but two days ago, I caught him with someone. Blaine and Jasper.”
“Oh, man,” Finn says. “I’m so sorry, Kurt. That sucks.”
“I told him I’d give him a month to move out. The apartment’s in my name. I brought everything I care about him taking or giving away,” Kurt says.
“A month?” Puck whispers. “You said a few nights!”
“Shhhh. He didn’t say a week,” Finn whispers back.
“That doesn’t make me feel any better!” Puck says.
“I’ll be contacting a lawyer within another few days of course,” Kurt says, sounding like he probably was still talking while Puck and Finn were whispering. “Do you have a washer and dryer here?”
“Basement,” Puck says. “They don’t have fancy cycles or anything.”
“I can always take a few things to the cleaners if I’m afraid they’re too delicate,” Kurt says.
Puck snorts. “Waste of money all around if you ask me. Buying ‘em and then dry cleaning ‘em.”
“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t ask you. I wouldn’t expect you to understand either quality or success,” Kurt says.
“Excuse me?” Puck says, squeezing Finn’s shoulder with the hand not draped on Finn’s chest. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Kurt rolls his eyes. “We graduated from high school seven years ago, and you’re still taking classes?” He gestures around him. “In Marion?”
“Yeah, in Marion, ‘cause after Finn graduated, we looked at all of his job offers and picked the one here. Neither one of us wanted to live in Cleveland, which was the next-best offer. And Marion’s not a horrible place.” Puck glares at Kurt. “What exactly is it you do that makes you so successful? You live in a big city?”
“It’s a nice little town,” Finn says. “I thought you wanted to get away from New York City, anyway. I thought that was the whole point of you staying here.” He frowns. “You can’t stay here if you’re going to act like this, Kurt. I promised Puck.”
“I’m staying here to get away from Blaine, and if we’re going to talk about the way we’re acting, look at the two of you!” Kurt says furiously.
“The two of us?” Puck asks. “Finn, do you know what he means?”
Finn shrugs. “I don’t know. How are we acting, other than normal?”
“All of this pretending! Did you really think I would believe it? Are you that desperate to rub my face in it, Puck?”
“Rub your face in what?” Puck asks. “If this is about Birb, he’s not exactly trained.”
“I don’t think he means Birb,” Finn says softly, sounding sad. “I think he means us. You and me being so happy.”
“He thinks we’re… faking it?” Puck whispers. He frowns, thinking that over for a few seconds. “Why would we do that? Why would anyone do that?”
“I don’t know, since we’ve never had to.”
“Maybe we should eat dinner now,” Puck says. “Maybe he needs fresh air and food not eaten standing up.”
“Maybe,” Finn says. He slips his arm around Puck’s waist. “Sorry, babe.”
“At least he didn’t yell at your mom?” Puck suggests, then looks up at Kurt again. “Dinner?”
“What’s for dinner?” Kurt asks, sounding resigned.
“I’m making meatloaf. I think we’ve got carrots, too, so I can make those, plus we usually have a salad, too,” Finn says.
“We have turnips,” Puck reminds Finn.
“Oh right! I’ll make those instead of the carrots, and put the carrots in the salad instead.”
“Turnips,” Kurt says, looking torn between confusion and anger.
Puck shrugs. In Kurt’s mind, there’s probably something wrong with turnips, just like there is with Hondas, but Puck doesn’t know what it is. “I like turnips.”
Puck’s plate of pie is empty when he leans towards Finn with a look in his eye, still ignoring Kurt as he whispers in Finn’s ear. “When we get home, I’m going to finish helping you get those clothes off, then I’m going to wrap your belt around your wrists.”
Finn almost chokes on his last bite of caramel apple pie, coughing into his napkin a few times before looking over at Kurt. “You about done?”
“Yes, I think so,” Kurt says, pushing his plate away from him, even though there are still three or four bites of his coconut cream pie on his plate.
“After that, I’m going to spend a long time with my mouth on your nipples,” Puck continues, still whispering.
Finn knows he’s blushing a little as he quickly signs the receipt and stands up, pushing in his chair. “It’s been a long day for everybody, so I figured we’d just head straight back.”
Kurt nods. “That’s fine.”
“Sure, frisky,” Puck says, grinning and sliding his arm around Finn’s waist after he stands. They walk out to the car, Kurt with a slightly-pissy look on his face, and Puck drives them home.
“So we, uh. We usually put Birb in the guest room at night,” Finn says, even though they do no such thing, which is how Birb got such a colorful vocabulary, but Finn figures it would be better for Birb to be in Kurt’s room than for Birb to be loudly repeating what he hears coming from Finn and Puck’s bedroom.
“Oh. Does he sleep at night?” Kurt asks, frowning slightly. “Parrots aren’t nocturnal, are they?”
“He usually conks out as soon as we put the blanket over the cage,” Finn says.
“Alright. That’s fine,” Kurt says. He looks somewhat sad, irritated, and bewildered all at the same time, and he sighs a little.
“You doing okay?” Finn asks.
“Everything’s changed very quickly, is all,” Kurt says. “A week ago I had no idea I’d be here tonight, that things would fall apart.”
Puck raises his eyebrows and shakes his head slightly, but doesn’t say anything. Finn sighs and puts his arm around Puck as they walk into the house. “I’m really sorry this happened,” Finn says.
“Thank you,” Kurt says, almost managing a slight smile. “I think I’ll go ahead and get myself prepared for bed, if you need to put… Birb in the guestroom.”
“Okay. We’ll get him set up,” Finn says.
Kurt walks down the hall and then into the bathroom, and Puck snorts. “Why’d you tell him Birb sleeps in the guestroom?”
“Do you want Birb screaming sex stuff with Kurt in the other room?” Finn asks. “I figured this would keep everybody happy.”
Puck laughs. “Should we give Kurt some apple pieces and tell him to yell ‘asparagus’, in case Birb does anyway?”
“Yeah,” Finn says. “I’ll cut an apple up if you’ll roll the cage in.”
“Good luck, Kurt,” Puck says, still looking amused, but he rolls the cage towards the guestroom. Finn is still cutting up the apple when Puck comes into the kitchen, sliding his hand down Finn’s back. “Almost done?”
“Is this apple completely cut up?” Finn asks.
“Which is why I said ‘almost’,” Puck says, leaving his hand on Finn’s waist and leaning his head between Finn’s shoulder blades. “You want me to continue with the story I was telling you, or did you want it to be a surprise?”
“Which did you want?”
“Maybe I should surprise you.” Puck lifts his head and kisses the back of Finn’s neck.
“Mmm. I like your surprises,” Finn says. He puts down the knife. “All done with the apple.”
“Then go take the apple to Kurt and I’ll be in the bedroom,” Puck says, kissing Finn again and then stepping back. Finn smiles at Puck and gathers up the apple slices.
Kurt is out of the bathroom, sitting on the edge of the bed in the guest room, looking at Birb’s covered cage with a concerned look on his face. Finn holds out the handful of apple slices.
“Here,” Finn says. “In case Birb starts making any noise.”
“I just… give him an apple slice?” Kurt asks, taking the slices and looking at them doubtfully.
Finn nods. “Yeah, and if he gets too bad, just tell him ‘asparagus’.”
“Asparagus? The vegetable? Why on earth would that make him stop making noise?”
“It just will,” Finn says. “He knows it means to shut up.”
“If you say so.” Kurt sets the apples down, eyeing Birb’s cage again. “Thank you again for letting me stay here.”
“We’re glad to have you, really,” Finn says.
“Well, I appreciate it. Good night, Finn. Birb and I will see you in the morning.”
“Good night, Kurt.”
Finn closes the bedroom door behind him, quickly turning off the living room lights and making sure the front door is locked. Once he’s sure the house is shut down, he goes into his own bedroom, where Puck is waiting for him.
Puck wraps his arms around Finn before Finn can close the bedroom door, backing Finn up against it and then pushing it completely closed. Puck presses against Finn, his mouth on Finn’s neck. “Now what did I say? I’d help you get out of these clothes first?”
“Do I need help? I’m pretty good at taking off my clothes for you,” Finn says.
“You are good at it,” Puck agrees. He puts his hands on Finn’s belt, unbuckling it and then pulling it free. “Why don’t you see if you’re going to need any help tonight?”
Finn starts to pull his shirt up, stopping when it’s halfway off. “Oops. I do need some help.”
“Good thing I’m here and willing, I guess.” Puck pushes Finn’s hands away, grabbing Finn’s shirt and tugging on it. Finn obediently puts up his arms for the shirt to come off. Puck tosses it to the side as soon as it’s free, still holding Finn’s belt in one hand. “How about those pants?”
“I think I need help with those, too,” Finn says.
Puck grins. “I thought you might.” He puts Finn’s belt in one of his own pockets almost haphazardly, then unfastens Finn’s pants, slowly pulling down both pants and underwear until they’re past Finn’s knees. Puck lets go of them, still half-squatting in front of Finn, and he slowly licks across the tip of Finn’s dick.
“Yeah,” Finn says softly, putting his hand on the back of Puck’s head and letting it rest there lightly.
Puck licks the tip again, then slides his mouth down Finn’s dick a few times before pulling away and grinning up at Finn. “Oops. Got distracted.”
“I like that kind of distraction,” Finn says. “Unless you had something else in mind tonight.”
“I did promise you I’d use this, didn’t I?” Puck asks, straightening and pulling Finn’s belt from his pocket. He looks at the belt, then Finn’s arms, then back at the belt. “I think you should go lie down now.”
Finn smiles without responding, going straight to the bed and lying down on his back. Puck straddles him, then nudges Finn’s arms, pointing above Finn’s head. Finn raises his arms above his head. Puck nods and grins, leaning forward and wrapping Finn’s belt around his wrists a few times before tightening it and buckling it.
“Too tight? Too loose?” Puck asks.
Finn shakes his head. “It’s good.”
“Good answer.” Puck settles back again, then leans down and runs his tongue in a circle around Finn’s nipple. “I think I said ‘a long time’.”
“A short time. You said a short time,” Finn says.
Puck shakes his head, his tongue dragging over Finn’s nipple as he shakes it. “Why would I say that? You’d be so sad if I were only doing this for a short time. Wouldn’t you?” He bites down gently. “Wouldn’t you?”
Finn whines. “Yes.”
Puck nods, biting down again, just a bit harder. “And I don’t want you to be sad.”
“Okay.” Finn closes his eyes, pulling at the belt around his wrists, testing it.
“Uh-uh,” Puck says, shaking his head with Finn’s nipple still between his teeth. He reaches up and flicks at Finn’s forearm, and he runs his other thumb over the nipple he’s not tugging on. Finn whines again, but he stops tugging on the belt. “Better,” Puck says, releasing Finn’s nipple and licking it repeatedly. “You’re so good.”
“Am I good?” Finn asks. He arches up off the bed, just barely.
“Aren’t you?” Puck replies, rolling Finn’s nipples between his fingers. “Don’t you want to be good?”
“I do. I want to be good. I want to be so good for you.”
“I know you do. I want you to stay so still,” Puck says, then bites down on the nipple opposite the one had bitten before. “Still,” Puck repeats, lifting his head just long enough to say it before biting hard. He shifts his weight, trapping Finn’s dick under him. Finn lets out a small noise, but he stops arching his back or otherwise moving.
Puck keeps his teeth clenched around Finn’s nipple, rolling the other one between his fingers before pinching it slowly. He holds his hand and head still and moves his lower body, sliding against Finn’s dick, then licks Finn’s nipple while the other one is still being pinched.
“Please,” Finn says quietly.
“Please what?” Puck asks, smiling at Finn and moving his hand to the other side of Finn’s chest.
“Harder.”
“Like this?” Puck pinches just as hard, quicker this time, and he bites down on the other nipple, shaking his head a little as he tugs at it. Finn yelps, not too loudly, but he stays still.
“Harder. Please,” Finn says.
Puck pulls his head up, taking Finn’s nipple with him, while he keeps pinching and pulling at the other nipple, and he deliberately slides over Finn’s dick at the same time. “Mmm?”
“Oh, god, please, Puck, please,” Finn says. He tries his hardest to hold still. This time, though, he lifts his hips up off the bed, pressing against Puck.
Puck drops Finn’s nipple from his mouth, shaking his head. “You moved, Finn.”
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Can you try harder?”
“Yes. I’ll be good,” Finn says. He opens his eyes and looks at Puck.
“I know you will,” Puck says, smiling at Finn and running his fingers down Finn’s cheek. He rocks his hips a little, licking across one nipple and then the other. “Perfectly still.” He bites slowly on Finn’s nipple and runs his fingers over the indentations on Finn’s other nipple.
Finn whimpers and goes still again. “I will,” he says. “I’ll be still.”
“Good.” Puck keeps his mouth on Finn’s nipple, running his hands up Finn’s arms and pulling on his wrists for a moment before dragging his fingers down Finn’s arms and lightly scratching them. He pulls and tugs at Finn’s chest, then scratches down Finn’s arms again. He lifts his head, releasing Finn’s nipple temporarily. “You look so hot.”
“I do?”
“You know it.” Puck pulls on both of Finn’s nipples. “Tell me what you want.”
Finn frowns slightly. “I want you to not stop.”
Puck grins. “Don’t worry, I wasn’t going to.” He keeps tugging upward with his hands, twisting them slightly. “You want me to fuck you while I’m doing this?” Finn nods silently. “Yeah, me too.”
Puck leans down, kissing Finn hard as he releases one hand, still twisting and tugging with the other. He moves that hand to the other nipple as he shifts his lower body, nudging Finn’s legs apart, and pushes two fingers into Finn’s asshole briefly, moving them quickly.
“Now?” Puck asks, pulling back and leaving his mouth hovering near Finn’s chest.
Finn nods again. “Now please?”
“Yeah,” Puck says with another grin. He pushes into Finn’s asshole at the same time he bites down on Finn’s nipple, pulling up as he starts fucking Finn hard and fast. He wraps one hand around Finn’s dick, stroking it almost as fast as he’s thrusting into Finn.
Finn lets out a low, muttered, “Oh, shit, Puck.”
“What?” Puck asks, releasing Finn’s nipple with a loud pop. “What did you say? You have to speak up so I can hear you.”
“Harder,” Finn says, a little louder.
“Harder?” Puck fucks Finn only a little bit harder, his hand tightening on Finn’s dick. “Did you say harder?”
“Shit, yes, harder,” Finn says, even louder this time.
“Yeah, I thought so,” Puck says, biting down on Finn’s other nipple and fucking him even harder, his hand moving faster and faster. He doesn’t stop, not even to change sides with his mouth, and his other hand pinches and scratches at Finn’s chest. Finn brings his legs up, wrapping them around Puck, and his heels dig into Puck’s back as he starts to come, making sure he’s nice and loud for Puck, like Puck likes.
Puck bites down harder as he comes, too, collapsing on top of Finn and starting to run his hands down Finn’s arms. Usually Puck waits a couple of minutes to unfasten Finn, unless Finn is crying, in which case Puck does right away. Neither of them have a chance to even move, though, before the door opens with a bang.
“That is enough!” Kurt says. “I cannot believe—”
“What the hell?” Puck says. “Get out of here.”
Finn feels a little dopey, not too unusual immediately post-fuck. “Uh. Hey, Kurt. Can you… go out, maybe? This is kinda weird.”
“Living room,” Kurt demands. “In five minutes or less.”
“Shh,” Puck murmurs in Finn’s ear. “It’s okay.” He runs his hands down Finn’s arms again, then turns to look over his shoulder. “If we say yes, will you shut the door?”
“Fine. Yes.” Kurt must step back out of the room, because the door closes a moment later, and then Puck unbuckles Finn’s belt.
“Okay, frisky?” Puck asks as he tosses the belt in the floor.
“Yeah. I feel sort of weird now,” Finn says, blinking slowly to try and clear his head.
“I know,” Puck says softly, kissing both of Finn’s wrists and then both nipples. “I should’ve locked the door. I’m sorry.”
“Mmm. It’s okay. We never have to lock it,” Finn says. He lets his body relax as Puck kisses him, smiling a little. “We could lock it now.”
“Yeah, we could, but I don’t want to get up yet,” Puck says as he returns Finn’s smile. He runs his hands over Finn’s chest gently, then kisses him. “Better?”
Finn nods. “Mmm. Yeah. I’m all better.”
Despite Kurt’s statement about five minutes, Puck doesn’t hurry them out of bed or out of the room. He hears Kurt clear his throat a few times, and Puck’s best estimate is that it’s probably been at least fifteen minutes before they sit down on the sofa. Kurt looks furious and, even though Puck can’t figure out why, hurt, his arms crossed on his chest.
“Okay, we’re here, even though this is our house,” Puck says mildly. He squeezes Finn’s hand and settles against Finn’s side.
“I would like to ask that the two of you either desist with continuation of the typical façade, or if that’s impossible, then I suppose I should ask that you take me to a hotel,” Kurt says stiffly.
“I don’t understand,” Finn says.
“A façade, Finn, when people pretend and put up a front that doesn’t represent the actual reality,” Kurt says.
“No, I understand what ‘façade’ means,” Finn says. “I don’t understand what façade you’re talking about. There’s no façade here.”
“Finn,” Kurt says with a sigh, “I understand the need to use it, just like everyone else. I’m just asking that you drop it while I’m here, in light of everything. Blaine and I used to do the same thing, especially when Dad was visiting.”
“Are you trying to say you had sex just so your dad would overhear it?” Puck asks, making a face. “And that’s what you think we were doing?”
“That’s—I—That’s a very crass way to put it,” Kurt says.
“That’s not what we were doing, Kurt,” Finn says. “We… you know. Actually like it. We like doing it together.”
“We kinda won the marriage lottery or whatever,” Puck says as he nods. “And, okay, yeah, we forgot you were here, or at least I did. That’s not the same as trying to make you uncomfortable.”
“None of what you’re doing is meant to be a show?” Kurt asks incredulously.
Finn shakes his head. “No. This is just how we live. We’re happy.”
“Dude,” Puck says, his voice a little less harsh. “Did you really have to pretend all the time? That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
“Everyone always says—said—Blaine and I were a perfect couple. Everyone acts differently in public than in private. Or I suppose I thought so.” Kurt gestures in their direction. “You’d really be sitting like that if I weren’t here?”
“Not exactly,” Puck says, glancing at Finn.
“Yeah, we uh. We probably wouldn’t be this dressed,” Finn says.
Kurt studies them for close to a minute, then suddenly bursts into tears. “It’s not fair!”
Puck looks at Finn again, probably looking alarmed. “What should we do?” he whispers.
Finn shrugs. “I don’t know. Hug him, maybe?”
“I did everything right! Everything I was supposed to do!” Kurt says, almost wailing, and he keeps crying.
“I’ll get him a Kleenex. A box of Kleenex,” Puck says quietly to Finn. “If you want to give him a hug.” Finn nods and stands up, leaning over to put his arm around Kurt and pat his back. Puck goes down the hall to the bathroom and picks up the box of Kleenex on the back of the toilet, returning to the living room to hand it to Kurt.
Kurt immediately wipes his eyes and then blows his nose. “I did exactly what everyone else wanted, exactly what Blaine wanted, and now I’m running away! In Ohio! And neither of you are even gay!”
“Gay enough,” Finn says.
“Yeah, I don’t think anyone’s actually asked us for details,” Puck says wryly. “Maybe that’s the problem, Kurt. You did what everyone else wanted.”
“What else was I supposed to do?” Kurt says. “Elope like the two of you? Break up with Blaine again, instead of getting married?”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t even try to tell you what to do, other than whatever makes you happiest,” Finn says.
“You don’t have to have everything figured out at twenty-five, you know,” Puck adds. “Most people don’t.”
“But I was supposed to be one of the ones that did!”
“Says who?” Finn asks.
“Me! I worked hard and I got through high school and it was supposed to get better. I was supposed to get everything I deserved,” Kurt says through his tears. “I was supposed to make my dad proud and happy, and be a success.”
“Dude. Do you really think you had to marry Blaine to make your dad happy?” Puck asks.
“Yes!”
Puck nudges Finn, eyebrows raised. Finn sighs and pats Kurt’s back again.
“I think Burt would rather you be actually happy,” Finn says.
“No,” Kurt wails, shaking his head. “He wanted me to marry Blaine! He’s going to ask me what I did to make Blaine cheat!”
“He’s not going to say that to you,” Finn says. “And if he did, we’d tell him to knock it off.”
“Or we’ll punch him in the dick,” Puck adds.
Kurt starts giggling while he’s still crying. “Maybe I should move to L.A.”
“London?” Puck says.
“Miami,” Finn suggests. “You can get a nice tan.”
“He’d probably be popular at a White Party!” Puck says.
“I do look good in white,” Kurt says, then starts crying again. “What am I going to do? I have to tell Dad and I have to decide where to go.”
“Do you need to work for money for a few weeks?” Puck asks, and Kurt shakes his head. Puck looks at Finn and raises his eyebrows questioningly.
“Stay with us, then,” Finn says. “Or just leave your stuff here so you’ve got a place to come back to if you need it.”
“Are you sure?” Kurt says, sniffling and then blowing his nose again. “I’ve not been the best houseguest.”
“We’ll buy you some earplugs tomorrow?” Puck suggests.
“Probably a good idea,” Finn says.
Kurt flushes and picks up the box of Kleenex. “I’ll probably go back to bed now.”
“I have just one question,” Puck says. “Do you really think we’d wrap a belt around Finn’s wrists just to give you something to listen to?”
“I didn’t really process the belt,” Kurt says weakly.
“At least it was something tame,” Finn says. “Not anything weird.”
“On that note, I believe I’ll go to bed and take my chances with Birb,” Kurt says as he stands up. “Perhaps I could treat us all to brunch in the morning?”
“Sure, there’s a place downtown we like,” Puck says. Kurt nods and heads down the hallway, and Puck exhales. “He’s kind of messed up.”
“Yeah, but at least we know a little more about what’s going on with him, and why he’s always acted like he does,” Finn says.
“Yeah.” Puck shakes his head. “I’d rather be two semesters away from graduation in Marion with you than ‘successful’ in a big city like that, though.”
Finn kisses Puck, smiling against his lips. “Yeah. I like our brand of successful.”
“You think Burt really will freak out?” Puck asks. “I don’t mind being the bigger people here, but we should be prepared.”
Finn shrugs. “I don’t think so. I think Burt would rather him be happy, even if it’s not how Burt would want him to be happy. Either way, though, I think things’ll be a lot better between all of us now.”
“Yeah. Sucks that it took this to get there, I guess.” Puck kisses Finn and grabs his hands. “Want to go back to bed?”
“Yeah.”
Puck grins and walks backwards down the hall. “Hey, if Kurt goes to Miami, we can always go visit him next February.”