Work Text:
Neil shoved his hands inside his hoodie pocket, his keys making a soft noise as he pushed them inside of it, and he shut the dorm room door with his shoulder on his way in. He saw Andrew sitting on one of the bean bag chairs, and even though the TV was on, Andrew had turned just slightly leaning on his right elbow so he was turned to face the door just so, his eyes tracking Neil.
Neil raised one eyebrow at him, as he continued on his way to the bathroom, not even pausing, knowing if Andrew wanted to follow he would. And he heard the bean bag shift, the styrofoam beads inside making a rain noise as Andrew did get up to follow.
Neil stopped by the bedroom to grab some clean clothes, and a towel, and he turned to find Andrew leaning in the doorway just slightly. When he turned around, Andrew took a step back, letting Neil out. Neil stepped past him, and went into the bathroom, leaving the door just slightly open.
Neil pulled his hoodie over his head, and dropped it on the floor, it had started to stick to his back and he sighed down at it. It was finally starting to get too warm in the mornings to run in a hoodie.
He shook his hair out, while stepping on the backs of his old worn out tennis shoes, pulling them off, and doing the same to his socks, stepping on the toes so he wouldn't have to bend down to take them off.
He turned around to see if Andrew had followed him, and wasn’t surprised to see him sitting on the counter, the door closed and locked.
He was surprised to see that Andrew wasn’t looking at his back, or his chest though. He was looking up, and it almost seemed like his gaze over Neil’s head.
Neil tilted his head to the side, and Andrew’s eyes traveled down to meet his. Neil raised an eyebrow at him again, and stepped forward just slightly, almost into Andrew’s space, and Andrew reached forward.
Neil expected to be pulled into a kiss when Andrew grabbed him by the hair, but instead Andrew tilted his head down, and grabbed the other side of his head with his other hand, making sure he stayed in place.
Neil let out a slight laugh, more like a breath out through his nose, as he asked,
“What are you doing?”
Andrew didn’t answer, but he dragged one of his hands back through Neil’s hair, scratching at his scalp with his short nails, and Neil hummed, stepping forward more into the space between Andrew’s knees, and they parted just slightly more to make room for him.
Andrew finally tilted Neil’s head back by his hair, keeping a good grip on him still, his thumbs coming to rest on Neil’s cheek bones, and tapping to a rhythm that Neil knew was one of their pulses.
Andrew looked him in the eye, where harsh lines normally were around his eyes was a softness that only Neil really looked for, and only saw when he looked hard.
“Your roots are growing in.”
Neil’s eyebrows furrowed, and he twitched just slightly in Andrew’s hold.
“This is my natural hair color.”
Andrew blinked, slower than normal, and Neil knew his comment made Andrew slightly exasperated.
Neil opened his mouth but then he snapped it shut, and pulled himself from Andrew’s hold.
Looking in the mirror still made his stomach roll on a good day, but he sucked it up and gazed at his reflection. He leaned forward, hips pressing harshly against the countertop to get as close as he could to the reflection, and he studied his roots.
It wasn’t hard to see the few inches of growth.
The hair growing in was a much browner shade of auburn then the dye that was currently in his hair, not by his choice. The dye that matched his fathers hair perfectly.
He sat back on his heels, and he knew a dumbfounded expression was on his face as he held part of his hair up and away from his head, comparing the artificial red tones in his dyed hair to the lighter red and golden tones in the natural roots growing in.
He let his hand drop and then he turned back to Andrew.
Andrew hadn’t moved except to cross his arms. He was watching Neil, and when Neil turned to him he raised one eyebrow back at him.
Neil didn’t know what to say, so he just gripped the counter top so hard his knuckles started turning white.
Finally Andrew tilted his head to one side, sighed and dropped his arms,
“We could buzz all the dye out.”
He said it like a statement, but Neil heard the question. He sucked in a breath, and his voice sounded wild when he asked,
“Would you do it?”
Andrew dropped down off the counter and opened the cabinet under the sink, pulling out a plastic case that he sat on the counter in the spot he had just been and opened it up to a set of clippers and guards.
Neil didn’t say anything as Andrew pulled it all out, put one of the guards into place with a click and plugged it into the wall, just watched his hands work, the way his fingers wrapped around the grip part of the clippers, and the way it buzzed to life in his hands as he turned it on and then flicked it back off.
For a moment nothing happened, and Neil flicked his gaze up to Andrew’s eyes, and he saw the question there. They left their gaze locked for a moment, Neil’s fingers starting to ache with their grip on the counter, and no sound but their breathing, Neil’s a little harsher than Andrew’s.
Neil nodded once, a quick jerk that made the back of his neck ache. Andrew gripped his shoulder and jerked him over to the toilet, sitting him down on the lid.
The buzzing started back up, and Andrew pushed the clippers into the front of his hair, right down the middle. It dragged down the back of his head, a harsh imitation of Andrew’s nails from minutes ago.
Andrew’s hands were gentle, but firm as they turned his head this way and that, he was careful around Neil’s ears, fingers gripping them to move them out of the way when noticed the way Neil would twitch when the clippers would touch his ears. And as he walked around him, to the other side he left his fingers on the top of his head, his fingers twisting on the top of his head, and started on his right.
The whole time, Neil felt the buzz all the way into his chest, all the way to his toes.
Andrew stepped in front of him, and tilted Neil’s head forward, letting his forehead come to a rest on Andrew’s chest, and his hand slid from the top of Neil’s head to the back of his neck as he took off the guard and started cleaning up the edges.
Neil might have fallen asleep if it wasn’t for the noise and the buzzing against his neck.
What could have been hours later, but had to be a few measly minutes, Andrew turned off the clippers. He left his hand on the back of Neil’s neck for a moment though, his nails scraping against the edge of Neil’s hair line. He felt Andrew shift and then for a moment, there was warmth on the top of his head, pressure and the feeling of Andrew breathing on him, and then Andrew stepped back, giving Neil room.
He looked at him for a moment, and then shook his hand out that had held the clippers, getting hair off of it. He turned around, and turned the water in the shower on. He held his hand under the water, and when he was satisfied he turned back to Neil,
“Take a shower and get all the hair off of you.”
Neil stood, feeling hair drop off his back, and on to the ground behind him. Andrew stepped to the side, and let Neil get completely undressed and in the shower. He heard some noise outside the curtain, the door opening and closing and then again, but he tried not to pay too much mind to it, as he washed as quickly as he could.
He scoffed as he got too much shampoo, suds running down his back as he felt around his hair. Andrew had left basically the whole grown in color, from the feel of it. The sides seemed a little shorter, compared to the rest of it.
When he turned off the water, and opened the shower curtain, he was greeted by the sight of a clean bathroom, like nothing had even happened, and Andrew sitting on the counter, right where he was before he buzzed Neil’s hair for him.
Andrew watched the wall as Neil used his towel to first get most of the moisture from his hair, and then wrap it around his waist.
Neil took a deep breath, and then looked in the mirror.
He stared for a moment, first at the scars on his face, and then his eyes, and finally he let his gaze wander to his hair.
He was right that Andrew had left everything except the sides, leaving a fluffy brown few short inches on the top of his head, and from the feel of it the back of his head too. He dragged one hand through it, and let himself come to terms with how it was going to stand on end and look like a ducklings fuzz for the next few months.
But it was his hair color. And his hair color wasn’t the same as his fathers. After years of never seeing this color, being afraid of this color, the relief he felt in his lungs after finding out it wasn’t even something he had needed to worry about, be afraid of, almost made his knees buckle. He gripped the counter again, not as hard this time, and he looked to Andrew. He knew a soft smile was on his lips, but he didn’t even wonder if he had to hide it.
Andrew didn’t smile back, but he reached forward, and dragged his nails against Neil’s scalp.
Neil stepped forward, into Andrew’s space, and Andrew gripped the side of Neil’s head, his fingers catching on his ear, his thumb pressed to his cheek bone,
“Thank you.” Neil murmured, softly in german.
Andrew’s nose twitched, his thumb pushed just slightly against Neil’s cheek,
“It was getting too long anyways.” He said back, switching languages for him.
“Still,” Neil pushed, “The sides were a nice touch, I wouldn’t have thought of that.”
Andrew was silent for a one breath, and then he let go of Neil’s face, his fingers brushing the edge of his ear,
“You don’t like it getting in your ears.”
Neil didn’t know when he told Andrew that, or if he had, but he was right. Neil turned and pressed his smile into Andrew’s palm, his eyes catching sight of his reflection again. Something swelled up in his chest, something familiar, and yet he didn’t know why the feeling of coming home was with him at this moment.
‘My hair’, he thought to himself.
-
When Kevin walked in, Neil had his back to him, text book open. He heard him though, so he didn’t jump when Kevin’s hand landed on his shoulder, he just looked up at him.
Kevin’s eyes searched his face, and his hair for a moment. And then he nodded once,
“I like it.”
Neil knew that Kevin saw the truth. Maybe he had even seen the color of his roots before Neil had, just like Andrew. Maybe his whole team knew. Somehow he didn’t mind that they all got this truth from him before he even knew it was a truth he could give.
Kevin pulled back then, dragging his chair with him just a little,
“We need to leave.”
Neil checked his wrist watch and nodded. He tried to keep a grin off his face as nothing brushed against his ears, but he could tell from the look on Kevin’s face that he didn’t manage it.
He just shrugged, and led them out of the room, Andrew and Nicky waiting in the hallway. Nicky stopped talking, he let his mouth hang open for a moment, and then he turned to Andrew,
“A mullet? Really, you let him get a mullet?”
Andrew just turned toward the elevator.