Chapter Text
Yeonjun smiled as he carefully placed the faintly glowing crystal into the center of the configuration—adjacent to the topaz and just above the pebble from the river. He lit the end of the little sprig of dried lavender, gently wafting the smoke over the setting in a clockwise pattern and letting the ash sprinkle across the display of objects.
It was a spell he’d done many times now, committed to memory and one hundred percent successful for all that it was weak and needed to be repeated every few weeks. That was why he was so excited to do this particular spell today: because this would hopefully be the last time.
He was fairly confident the sigil for eternal he’d so painstakingly carved into the surface of the crystal would make it exponentially more powerful. He’d been saving this perfectly pure little chunk of precious crystal for months. He was almost afraid to use it for this, but something about it felt right. It felt like this was what it was meant for. He liked it when he got these feelings. It made it seem like maybe his body was truly beginning to accept more magic—that maybe the constant exposure was helping it start to linger inside of him. With swift, sure movements, he placed the rest of the necessary items drawn from his open bag beside him, then set the final piece, an intricately twisted, thin silver bracelet into the circle.
Closing his eyes, he breathed in slowly, centering himself and letting it all settle inside of him for a moment. The familiar words of the spell rested at the tip of his tongue.
“Internal radiance,” he breathed, the foreign syllables forming on his lips as easily as if they’d always been his to wield. His eyes slid open to watch the magic work—the haze of light within the crystal faded as the bracelet began to hum with an invisible energy.
A long suspended moment, and then the crystal went hollow and dark.
Without wasting a second, Yeonjun caught up the bracelet and slid it back onto his wrist, shivering as a little trickle of something like electricity shot out from it and up along his veins. The magic settling over him was familiar and welcome.
Turning to his bag he quickly grabbed out his small compact mirror, flipping it open and tilting his head to catch the weak afternoon sunlight as he held it up in anticipation. His eyes darted across his own face reflected in the little circle, lingering and assessing, his heart skipping a beat as he saw that something was different this time. Something so subtle and natural, as if his skin was radiating a gentle little glow all of its own—nothing at all like the literal sparkles that had always dusted his skin when he’d previously worked this magic.
This time...it looked real. It looked right.
And it was so beautiful.
The past two days Yeonjun practically floated around campus. Every time he passed the little grove he’d used to enhance his bracelet a smile would cross his face, and he’d lift his wrist to eye the piece once more—just to check. It felt just as potent as it had the moment he’d put it on, and the continual proof that his little experiment had been successful was like a ball of golden warmth residing up under his breastbone.
He was getting so good at this. At magic. Each new spell he worked, each daring experiment and tentative exploration was making him feel more confident, making him feel like he was finally becoming just a little more true to himself and how he was meant to be.
He was just an ordinary Human, but he wasn’t supposed to be.
He was physically Human, born to perfectly average Human parents, but that wasn’t how he felt on the inside. He’d always had such an affinity for magic, any little hint of something Fae sparking an instant connection within him—as if a little piece of his heart just whispered yes the moment he felt it—and he’d spent many useless hours wallowing over the fact that he hadn’t been born into the right world.
The Fae inhabited a separate Realm all of their own that was nearly impossible for Humans to find, much less enter. It was only in the past century or so that Fae had begun to visit the Human world in slowly growing numbers. Over the years, the mystique surrounding their existence had lessened the more the two species intermingled; however, the distinct differences between them remained a fundamental truth.
Without exception, every single fairy he’d ever seen was impossibly lovely, and so much more alive than any of the most beautiful Humans. With hair all shades of the rainbow and eyes to match, the delicate features of their faces highlighted by sculpted cheekbones and gracefully sloping noses, pretty lips and pretty bodies, flawless skin, they were set apart physically, while the tantalizing air of magic that floated around them in a cloud was otherworldly and made them so much more.
Yeonjun tried not to stare whenever one crossed his path, but it was near impossible to resist the lure of them. Not when they literally shimmered in the light, not when they left an alluring scent in their wake that seemed to physically dance in the wind. Even their voices were melodic and pleasant to listen to. Nothing else existed in such perfection, and Yeonjun didn’t understand how there could be such an imbalance in the world.
Why was he born like this and not like that?
He’d always felt so plain in comparison, the dark color of his hair and eyes so dull and lackluster against their radiance, and even when he was fairly young, it bothered him.
Before he was old enough to really understand why, before he could properly put words to this feeling that was so bad, that made him feel so small and unhappy, he began searching for things he could do in an effort to emulate and recreate some of that. To somehow capture some of that inherent loveliness for himself.
Once Yeonjun was introduced to Human magic—Witchcraft, as it was labeled in the single elective his middle school offered—he found a little spark of that power. It was a startling moment of discovery, that first spell he read in his textbook igniting something hot within his heart.
He’d been terrified he’d be one of the kids in the class who attempted the most basic spell in the book only to be told they lacked any aptitude whatsoever, and be kindly invited to leave the course. He’d been unable to prepare himself for the unexpected assessment right from the first lesson, had nothing but his intention, his burning desire to please have this, so when the simple spell bloomed to life under his shaking fingertips—little motes of light dancing like sparks from a fire—he was helpless against the tears that dripped down his cheeks. He was elated. Euphoric. Such a small, simple thing, but it was the singular most magnificent thing he’d ever experienced.
There was magic in the world that didn’t belong to the Fae, magic he could reach out and touch for himself if only he worked hard enough to achieve it, and once he began, he couldn’t stop. This was his passion, his motivation for everything he did, and if this was all he could have then he would become the best at it.
The Faefolk had a weakness for beautiful things, magical things, and Yeonjun prided himself in being just the same. He was weak, the weakest of them all, and his desire to have pretty things, to be pretty and magic, felt like the only thing of any importance no matter how hard he tried to be more selfless, or tried to force himself to care about something more worthwhile. He just couldn’t pretend. Not for a while anyway.
He couldn’t change his nature, but he could still look the part, could dye his hair and wear colored lenses, could make himself pretty and physically Fae-like in every single way possible. So he did.
He could learn their magic language and study their history, their customs, could even appreciate the food and fashion as more and more Fae began to venture into the Human Realm, bringing with them their mysterious culture that had been hidden away in the wilds for so long. He could study it and learn it by heart until it felt like it was part of him. So he did.
He enrolled in the only university in the country that boasted a hybrid curriculum—one that offered courses for both Human and Fae with both sides free to partake in any combination of studies they wanted. Even if he hadn’t passed the entrance exam with flying colors he would have fought tooth and nail to be accepted into the Magic Theory program. And he was.
He could be Fae in everything but blood.
The more he studied, the more magic he practiced, the more artifacts he experimented with, slowly the more Fae-like he became. He immersed himself into it so fully that most people around him simply assumed that he was Fae from first glance. Many Humans couldn’t even tell at all, and it was only the Fae who were able to somehow detect the Humanness of him and his magic when they got just close enough.
Yeonjun always tried to avoid venturing too near after the first time one did, only to recoil from him, hissing, “You reek of Witchcraft, what have you been—” The Fae's eyes widened as they took him in properly. Then their pretty lips curled in distaste, “Oh. You’re Human.”
Said as if he were something dirty. Something so much less. Insignificant.
Human.
And he didn’t want to be.
There was no way for him to bridge this gap, no way for him to shed his Humanity, but the more magic he used the more the stubborn little flame of determined hope inside of him grew. Why else would he have the ability to use this magic if not for changing himself until he realized his true potential? His true identity.
Yeonjun had petitioned to form a Magic Club at the university the first week he’d been on campus, and while the only other member so far was Taehyun, a friend he’d made at orientation who could care less about magic, Yeonjun wouldn’t have gotten permission to start the club without at least one member besides himself.
Practical and guarded, Taehyun had only joined for the sole reason that Yeonjun had bribed and bullied him into it, but he hadn’t said another word after Yeonjun crafted him a little thank you gift in exchange: an earring that was supposed to help improve mental capacity and focus. Taehyun wouldn’t give him a straight answer for how effective the magic was, but Yeonjun saw the twinkle of the stud in his ear and knew anyway.
“Are all your spells for making yourself pretty?” Taehyun had asked one day as he lounged on the little cot Yeonjun had set up in his allotted clubroom. Many late nights spent immersed in his projects made it essential for him to have a place to crash when the exhaustion caught up to him.
Yeonjun frowned without taking his eyes off of where he was grinding the feverfew he’d spent way too much money on at the botanical market. It had been grown in the Fae Realm, or so the seller had claimed, and Yeonjun hoped this distinction would be just the catalyst he needed to make this particular spellwork successful.
“No,” he answered shortly.
“If you’re trying to be more Fae-like, I think your vanity alone already has the worst of them beat,” Taehyun chuckled and Yeonjun’s frown melted into a pout. Whirling around in his chair he reached over and tried to snatch back the ring Taehyun had been playing with.
Taehyun grinned and rolled out of range, hiding it behind his back.
“Shut up,” Yeonjun said, giving up the endeavor. He turned back to his work. “I have plenty of other things. Just no one has been interested enough to ask about them yet.”
“Such as what?” Taehyun lifted an eyebrow. “Things like that charm to prevent hiccups?”
“Yes,” Yeonjun defended himself, glaring a little. “It was a necessary building block for the spell I worked out to ease nausea.”
“What, are you trying to open a magical apothecary?” Taehyun teased. “There are already plenty of Fae Healers or Hedgewitches who have these things… I highly doubt you’re making anything new.”
“But they don’t have these things. At least not in the Human Realm,” Yeonjun said earnestly, leaning closer to him as he tried to explain himself. “I haven’t once found any of these things I’ve made anywhere else. Not inside charms and jewelry like I’ve been doing. I only started out copying spells but now I’ve been making my own. I add things differently to get what I want from it, and it doesn’t always work out right, but that’s the point. I’m a magical inventor, Taehyun.”
Taehyun’s smile was wide and indulgent. “Okay then, Mr. Inventor. Wow me with your inventions,” he prompted.
Yeonjun sniffed at him. He had plenty to wow him with. The hiccup charm really had just been a little thing to get him accustomed to the ingredients and how they reacted to the magic. They changed depending on the preparation or the words used, and he’d just been bored that day as he played around with it. It had just been a little passing thing, so easily successful, but it had started a flurry of study into incredibly more extensive uses of that particular plant.
He liked to make pretty things, yes, but inside of the jewelry or charms was very real, powerful magic. Magic that was useful and practical. Magic that helped people. Just like the ring that Taehyun was currently spinning between his fingers.
It was one Yeonjun liked to think of as a set with the earring, as it would give the wearer a little boost of energy when they were weary and sleep deprived. It was perfect for students attempting to cram last minute before an exam, and he knew Taehyun could feel its effect because he was refusing to let it go.
Yeonjun was by no means an expert and had nothing to show for himself but his strange little collection of experiments, but they were all his and each and every one of them had been created through his tireless efforts. With his special brand of magic.
So Yeonjun just continued to exist like this, looking like a fairy but separated from the true Faefolk who inhabited the City and roamed the campus just like him. He’d still never truly set foot into their Realm, but not for lack of trying. The closest he’d come were finding little slips in the barrier, a tree that had a single bloom the wrong shape and color—a gift from another world—or a stream that bubbled just a little too musically, and Yeonjun was becoming better at finding them the more he practiced.
Maybe Taehyun was right: he was pretty vain, but it had given him a driving purpose. A focus.
He’d come such a long way and he wanted to pretend like those early days of dying his hair like a Human and buying cheap fairy trinkets that sparkled or tinkled prettily but were empty of any true magic were over. That had once been all he’d had to work with, but now he had so much more.
Now his hair was permanently and truly a soft baby pink—made that way by the little pink crystal he’d found sifting through the sand beside that one iridescent pond he’d discovered by pure chance. He was sure it existed almost fully within the Fae Realm, and he’d never been able to find it again. He’d used the crystal to make himself an earring, and with the correct spell it had transformed his hair as if he’d been born like this.
He never got tired of looking at his hair because it gave him a boost of confidence unlike anything else he’d ever made. It made him feel like the most attractive version of himself, like he’d finally found the truest expression of himself in this pretty hue.
Without fail, the bright pop of pink always drew his attention, even when reflected in the window of the little coffee shop he passed by on his way back to his apartment after class. His eyes automatically traced his own reflection, moving from his hair to his face. Even like this, in a reflective surface that was flawed and inaccurate, something about his image was visibly different since he’d powered the bracelet—shining with his own internal light —and his steps slowed as he admired himself, heart feeling full and happy.
Preoccupied by his reflection, Yeonjun didn’t see the person walking from the other direction until it was too late. They knocked into each other awkwardly, and he stumbled back. Strong hands caught hold of his shoulders to steady him as he looked up in flustered embarrassment, only for the apology to die on his lips.
There was a tall, willowy Fae boy standing before him, his lovely face soft with surprise as they stared at each other. His rich purple hair shimmered in the sun, swaying just so around his temples and curling around his ears as if the strands were caught in a breeze that existed for him alone. At the sight of such natural, effervescent magic, something inside Yeonjun just yearned . For all that he was working on practical, useful magic nowadays, he still was hopelessly weak for these pretty things, so self-indulgent but effortlessly charming.
The Fae boy quickly regained his composure and smiled at him. He still hadn’t released Yeonjun’s shoulders.
“Ah…hello. Blessings? ” he greeted in a slightly teasing, slightly curious tone, and Yeonjun struggled to swallow.
“ Blessings, ” he parroted back, the word rolling off his tongue as if he said it every day, as if he actually greeted other Fae so easily like this all the time. As if he were one of them. He didn’t know if his accent gave him away with just this single word, but maybe it didn’t even matter because the smile on the other’s face only widened, warm and devastatingly attractive, and Yeonjun couldn’t look away.
The boy led him over to the nearest seat in front of the cafe then sat down beside him, his eyes never leaving Yeonjun’s face. He didn’t know what the Fae was seeing but he looked so interested in him. Just a few sentences were all it took for rational thought to leave his mind as he listened to his pleasant voice and took in each and every beautiful, magical trait about this person.
He was named Seongchan and up close his eyes were a deep amethyst.
Seongchan didn’t give him his number, but instead would always just appear beside him seemingly at random, and Yeonjun would drop whatever he was doing to spend time with him. Pretty soon, the Fae was seeking him out more and more often, and the dedicated effort he displayed in making time for him made Yeonjun feel so wanted and special.
No one had ever looked at him like Seongchan did, gazing at him as if he was admiring him, and he was so flattered and thrilled by it, barely daring to believe it was really happening to him. The Fae was so quick to offer him charming smiles and compliments, was the first one to reach out and hold his hand one week after that first meeting in front of the cafe, and it didn’t take long at all for Yeonjun to fall for him.
The Fae were weak for pretty things, and while he couldn’t quite believe he was pretty enough, magic enough, to have such an inherently magical person interested in him, it made him think that perhaps he was.
Seongchan didn’t ask about Yeonjun’s magic even when it became impossible for him to pretend or hide the fact that he was a very Human witch and not, in fact, a fairy. He was pretty sure Seongchan already knew from the moment Yeonjun first said hello, but he didn’t seem to care. He was the first Fae Yeonjun had met who didn’t seem to care what he was as long as he was pretty, and it was exhilarating. It was like all of Yeonjun’s efforts were finally paying off.
This tentative relationship was reawakening all those deep seated longings, the desire to be included in that other world that he’d tried so hard to suppress. But now that he was finally getting closer than ever before, he found he couldn’t bear to deny the truth in his heart a moment longer.
He was a little terrified Seongchan would get tired of him all too quickly and leave, so when the Fae showed up late one Tuesday afternoon when Yeonjun was studying in the student lounge, he tried his best to instigate topics where the other might find some sort of connection with him. He spoke about magic without thinking, babbling a little in his nervousness as he saw a slow grin cross Seongchan’s face. He must have made a mistake, done or said something wrong since he had such large gaps in his education and knew practically nothing about the reality of Fae magic.
It was the first time he was speaking with a Fae about magic like this and he had so many questions he wanted to ask, was so endlessly curious about so many things that he wasn’t even sure how to articulate himself properly. He wasn’t feeling entirely confident with his execution or even with his accent at that moment.
He trailed off even as Seongchan made a little humming noise as if encouraging him to continue.
“I...I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” he explained sheepishly. “I mean no offense— I’m still studying, and I’ve never talked about it like this—”
“No, no,” Seongchan cut him off gently, smiling fondly, and Yeonjun’s stomach lit with a host of butterflies. “You’re just so cute when you speak my language.”
He flushed, jolting a little when Seongchan’s fingers brushed his warmed cheek.
“Come out with me this Friday—I want to show you off, you pretty thing.”
Yeonjun felt giddy with disbelief, the butterflies exploding in a flurry of nerves. He agreed without hesitation, further thrilled when Seongchan promised to take him to an exclusive Fae club called Vanity Fair, and for the next few days he was a mess of nervous anticipation.
That Friday, he could feel it the moment he stepped foot into that hidden pocket of the Fairy Realm, nestled right there in the heart of the city. The air went all strange around him and his body felt all light, as if he’d float up off the ground for a second if he wasn’t holding onto Seongchan’s hand.
The atmosphere inside the club was heady and intoxicating from the first breath. Some pretty blue fog wafted lazily throughout the space, the bright colored Fae flitting through it like flowers or jewels sparkling under invisible sunlight. The colors were all different, more vibrant and richer even in the dimness. Everything seemed to pulse with an energy that was magic—everywhere he looked—even the lights were nothing more than balls of energy hanging in mid-air that pulsed and shifted in color as they illuminated everyone inhumanly ethereal. Yeonjun’s nerves were humming with the intensity of it even as his muscles began to feel oddly weak.
He was clinging shyly to Seongchan by the time they reached a table in an alcove inhabited by a whole group of Fae. He bowed rather awkwardly, feeling dizzy.
Seongchan was grinning at him, eyes shining with something Yeonjun couldn’t quite decipher through the growing fog in his head, but then he was sweeping him down to sit in his lap, lifting a goblet to his lips and encouraging him to drink the whole thing down—something fruity and exotic that made his vision blur. He swallowed embarrassingly around a hiccup, but Seongchan just cooed at him teasingly, a hand petting at Yeonjun's pink hair. He plucked at the silky material of his black top, one thumb rubbing the exposed sliver of skin at his shoulder before slipping down to squeeze the meat of his thigh.
Everything muddled very quickly and Yeonjun could only focus on the solid heat of Seongchan against him, nuzzling into the gentle strokes of his hand in his hair. Yeonjun had never felt like this before. This wasn’t the sort of thing he did, but this was how other people lived, how they dated, and now he was here doing it, too. He felt shy and awkward even with the drink loosening his whole body and scrambling his thoughts, but no one passing around them looked at him twice.
No one seemed able to tell that he was Human, and that knowledge lit him from the inside out.
“So, who’s this, then?” one Fae girl asked, twirling a long strand of silvery hair around one slender finger.
Seongchan smirked over at his friends and tugged on Yeonjun’s hair to get him to face them as well. Yeonjun’s eyes caught the golden eyes of a different red-haired boy and he found he couldn’t look away.
“This is Yeonjun,” Seongchan said happily. “My boyfriend.” He stressed the word ‘boyfriend’ in an oddly half-laughing sort of way, and the girl was quick to laugh as well.
“Boyfriend,” the red-haired friend repeated in a flat voice, his mildly curious expression suddenly closing off. He wasn’t looking at Yeonjun anymore. “You mean he’s Human.”
Yeonjun’s heart clenched at the abrupt shift in attitude, one he knew so well and hated, and he tensed uncomfortably in Seongchan’s lap.
The girl laughed again, the high trill of a bird as she nudged the boy with one shoulder. “Oh, no no, I see.” She nodded knowingly, “He’s your aewan, isn’t he?”
Seongchan grinned back at her. “Just so,” he agreed with the assessment, looking sort of pleased with himself.
He was so handsome like this, showing Yeonjun off to his friends, and Yeonjun felt so drunk. He didn’t know what that word meant but it sounded nice. It sounded like some term of endearment, and he smiled soppily back in response to the expression on Seongchan’s face. He was fairly sure he’d do pretty much anything for him.
The red Fairy rolled his eyes. “To each their own,” he said as if the very idea disgusted him, but Seongchan just laughed easily.
“You’re just jealous!” he accused, and the boy spluttered on his drink, quick to deny it and then they were arguing over things that Yeonjun couldn’t seem to follow properly as his heart thudded long and slow in his chest.
It crossed his mind that Seongchan didn’t introduce his friends back to him, didn’t try to include Yeonjun in the conversation, and by the time his head cleared just enough for him to be bothered by this, Seongchan was offering him another drink. He didn’t think he could really handle it, but he didn’t want to disappoint him, accepting the sweet liquid down without protest and then slumping more heavily against him.
The conversation faded in and out as he breathed in magic and breathed out swirls of dizzying colors, electric and addicting, consuming all his senses. He thought he was a useless companion, but Seongchan didn’t stop smiling at him. He looked so happy, so Yeonjun must have been doing something right.
Some time later, Seongchan was urging him to his feet and he swayed dangerously until the Fae caught him easily with both arms, nuzzling the side of his head with a pleased little hum. Then he was guiding him away from the booth and down a dark hallway. A heavy wooden door closed out the loud music from the dance floor behind them, and he sagged onto the bed Seongchan led him to in relief.
The room was dim and small, the curtains fastened shut.
And Seongchan was above him.
His head lolled into the soft pillow as he felt hands caressing his body. They almost immediately fell to his pants, pulling them down his legs and tossing them away somewhere, and then there were hot lips on his neck. He gasped at the sensation, eyes fluttering shut as Seongchan kissed his way down to his collarbone, teeth scraping just slightly as hands maneuvered his legs to bend at the knees, pulling them up and apart to allow a warm body to settle between them.
Yeonjun blinked up at the shadowed ceiling, trying to clear the haze from his thoughts. He couldn't. He was so dizzy—disoriented—his limbs impossibly heavy, and he couldn't hear properly.
He didn't know what was happening until he felt something warm and firm pressing against him in the most intimate of places. When did he even get undressed...?
Reflexively, he tried to move away from the unexpected point of contact, tried to speak or move, but his eyelids dragged shut on their own. Seongchan lay heavily on top of him, hushing him as he pushed his arousal against him once more. Yeonjun wasn’t so far gone that he didn’t realize what Seongchan was trying to do, he just wasn’t sure if this was how it was supposed to happen.
The Fae didn’t touch him with his hands, or try to prepare him in any manner. Maybe with the Fae they didn’t need to—maybe he didn’t know—and even though he’d been fantasizing about this moment for days, right now he didn’t really feel ready to have sex. Not…like this…
But Seongchan was obviously interested and eagerly instigating, and Yeonjun was desperate for the Fae to like him—to want him—
He was so quiet, and Yeonjun swooned a little as their naked lower bodies came together again. Without a single word Seongchan lined their bodies up more properly and pushed against him once more, slow and insistent. Yeonjun tensed his legs, not sure why he was even resisting this as he automatically tried to keep him from getting any closer. He tried to look at him, uncertain and anxious all of the sudden, but the Fae was mouthing at his neck again, was humming into his skin and pushing until he found the right place, and Yeonjun’s whole body jolted as he was suddenly being breached. It hurt.
“Ah—w-wait a minute,” he mumbled, clenching his legs more purposefully and holding the other boy tightly to try and still his movement, but Seongchan just shushed him, jerking his hips again before pausing as Yeonjun let out a surprised whine of pain.
He gasped as Seongchan shifted again and forced himself deeper. The movement caused his whole body to tense up, sweat breaking over his skin as hot tears pricked his eyes. “W-wait. Please,” he begged in a small voice, not wanting to reject him or upset him, just needing him to stop for a second.
Maybe there was something about this—about them that wasn’t right. Maybe Fae and Humans anatomically weren’t made to be together like this, because it hurt. More than anything he’d ever felt in his life.
Maybe they could make out instead, and that would be good. They hadn’t even shared their first kiss yet, and it would be more than enough for him to just kiss.
Seongchan just hummed, lips pressing to Yeonjun’s shoulder and arms curling a little more securely around him. He pushed again and Yeonjun struggled to swallow around the growing lump in his throat. He writhed a little at the sharp intrusion, the pain unrelenting and deep inside in a place he’d never felt before, and the farther this went the more sure he felt that they should stop. This wasn’t pleasurable at all.
“Can you stop?” he whimpered, pushing at Seongchan’s shoulders and trying to separate their bodies.
“Shh,” Seongchan responded, halting his movements just enough so that Yeonjun sighed in momentary relief. “It’s okay, you're doing well.”
He sniffed back the tears and waited for him to retreat, desperate for the burning pain to lessen. He hadn’t expected this and he was so confused about how this had even happened.
The silence of the room was only broken by his own loud, labored breaths.
A long moment later he felt a little more calm, and he turned his face into Seongchan’s cheek, silently asking for a kiss. Soft lips pressed to his at last, and Yeonjun’s eyes fell closed. Only to pop open again as Seongchan shifted and shoved their bodies together once more, pressing himself just that much further inside of him and Yeonjun’s pained protest was a mangled sound deep in his throat. Yeonjun couldn’t speak for crying.
Seongchan sighed deeply and lay on top of him heavily all at once. “This isn’t right,” Seongchan said at last, the first proper words he’d spoken since they’d entered this room. “It doesn’t feel like we’re making love when you’re crying like this.”
He could hear the disappointment in his voice and it scared him. “I’m sorry,” Yeonjun blubbered, trying to catch his breath. He realized his arms had fallen slightly lax as he’d gripped at the bunched up sheets in desperation, and he quickly lifted them to embrace the other. “I’m sorry,” he repeated, feeling a little panicked and hysterical at the thought that he’d ruined everything. Seongchan might not want to keep dating him if sex didn’t work for them.
The Fae sighed again and then shifted his hips, dipping his head down close to murmur something into his ear, but Yeonjun couldn't understand him. Nothing made sense anymore, nothing but ‘aewan…’ floating around and around in his muddled head. Seongchan began rutting against him again, and it hurt.
It was like he was singularly focused on doing this thing to him, just quietly resting and waiting for Yeonjun’s tears to subside just enough for him to try again. He was relentless. Yeonjun's body was completely out of his control, but the pain was all his.
Yeonjun supposed it was the effect of the alcohol that made it impossible for him to react or respond, but he remembered crying more. Remembered that Seongchan didn’t like that.
His awareness of the situation became nothing but an indistinct blur after that, only coming awake enough to find that Seongchan had somehow brought him out of the club and back to campus. Yeonjun wasn’t able to communicate to him where he lived, could barely string more than two words together, and when he finally woke the next morning, it was to find himself on his cot in the Magic Club room.
He didn’t hear from Seongchan for days after that. He was pining, berating himself for messing everything up that night at Vanity Fair, but tried not to get too anxious over it because it might be nothing. Seongchan just didn’t have a phone for him to reach him. Yeonjun had felt so silly after asking—when the Fae just gave him a strange look—and realized he’d been so Human to assume the Fae would use such an accessory when he had no need for it in the Fae Realm. Yeonjun still didn’t know how the Fae communicated with each other.
He was studying with Taehyun in one of the student lounges the next time Seongchan came to see him. There were suddenly arms enveloping him from behind and the scent of pine gusting past his face, and his whole body lit up with excitement.
Across the table from him, Taehyun’s large eyes were pinned on the owner of the arms. “Who are you?” he asked bluntly, and Yeonjun winced. He hadn’t told Taehyun about Seongchan yet since they were still so new. They were not quite officially dating yet even though Seongchan had said ‘boyfriend’ first, and this was just such a precious, coveted thing for Yeonjun.
“Oh, hi there,” Seongchan said cutely. “I’m just here to steal this little creature away for a minute.”
The politely curious expression dropped right off of Taehyun’s face. His back slowly straightened. “Excuse me?” He sounded offended. “Did you just—”
“It’s okay, Taehyun.” Yeonjun tried to laugh it off even though he wasn’t quite sure how he felt about Seongchan calling him that. He defended him anyway. “He doesn’t mean it like that,” he defended him anyway.
Taehyun’s eyes darted to him in quiet outrage, his lips pressing tightly together. Yeonjun could see the thoughts racing behind his eyes as he looked between them.
“I just think he’s a lovely creature,” Seongchan explained, and on his lips it sounded like a compliment. “I think he’s lovely.”
“It’s still a slur,” Taehyun gritted out stiffly even as Yeonjun was melting at that.
Lovely. Seongchan thought he was lovely.
“You’re fine with him calling you that?” Taehyun fixed him with concerned eyes.
“It’s fine,” he dismissed quickly, wanting to move the conversation away to something else, wanting to linger and bask in lovely, and needing Taehyun to go away so he could spend some time alone with Seongchan.
“I’m his boyfriend, okay?” Seongchan told Taehyun. “I’m not going to call him anything he doesn’t like.”
Yeonjun beamed up at him, breath catching as nimble fingers tugged at his earrings affectionately, the magic Yeonjun had imbued them with clamoring like little clear bells, sweet and melodic at the touch of the Fae’s magic.
He couldn’t take in anything else around him for a moment, distracted by the way he could hear the magic, could feel it so tantalizingly close and real in a manner he’d barely experienced. And never like this. No one had ever touched his magic trinkets while he was wearing them before, let alone an actual Fae. It made him feel so strange, like these items that were his creations were hardly his at all when this person could make them sing and come alive with the press of a finger, and Seongchan did it seemingly without effort or even any sort of intention.
It made him feel small and pathetic, the way he’d felt for so long before he began properly studying magic, but Seongchan was complimenting him, admiring him and showering him with these little magical touches as if he was perfectly comfortable to let Yeonjun have this, and he tried not to let it bother him.
It made him wish even more fervently that he could have that too, that he could just be magic, but at least when they were together, it felt like Seongchan could give him that.
Aewan.
The word came to him again a day or two later as he was idly browsing the Fae language directory for the proper translation for a different word he needed. He paused and flipped to the section with more colloquial language, searching for anything that might indicate a love interest. ‘Lover.’ Or maybe something stuffy like ‘intended.’ He even checked for ‘boyfriend’ although from the other Fae’s reaction that was a purely Human term.
He couldn’t find anything remotely similar, but he wrote the word down anyway to remind himself to come back to it, mind drifting off to the often visited memories of that night. He remembered hot hands on his skin and lips trailing down his neck...it wasn't a pleasurable memory, and he shivered a little as he turned his attention back to his work.
He found the answer a few days later, entirely by accident. He skimmed right over it at first, not expecting to recognize any of the words in that particular section, but paused as his brain caught up to what had caught his eye.
He looked at the word again, flitted to the explained translation, and his thoughts came to an abrupt stop.
Blinking down at it, he took in the neatly printed letters: aewan, and across from it: ‘pet.’
That was a term of endearment, wasn’t it? In Human language it could be, the only concerning difference being the Faeliked to belittle Humans and call them animals. Beasts. The Fae Zealots who hated everything human referred to them as crude beings, something lesser and from a different class than them. Something dirty that shouldn’t intermingle with their brilliant and gifted race.
It was why Taehyun had been so upset to hear Seongchan call him a creature.
And now he’d also called him his ‘pet.’ It sat uncomfortably in his stomach.
He thought of the way the girl had laughed, and he thought of Seongchan’s happy smile and his sweetly curving eyes. Seongchan liked him. He wanted him. It had sounded alright when he labeled him as a ‘lovely creature,’ so Yeonjun could believe that this held the same nuance in the Fae’s native tongue. He closed the book and tried to put it out of his mind.
A week later, Yeonjun was up all night in the forest searching for a little flower. This magical ingredient had eluded him for months, until last night when he stumbled upon the barrier between the Realms at last. He’d lingered in awe within the magical grove for hours before plucking the single, glowing moondrop flower that he needed, knowing he’d probably never be able to find it a second time.
The milky light of the moon remained encapsulated in the little blossom even hours later, and just the sight of it floating safely in the solution Yeonjun had prepared months prior filled him with excitement and purpose as he worked all throughout the morning to prepare the rest of the spell. His Magic Club room was more chaotic than usual as he mixed ingredients and shoved unnecessary items carelessly aside, when a breeze slipped through the door and Seongchan was suddenly wafting into the room, the dim space brightening all at once from his mere presence.
Yeonjun startled and did a double take, eyes trailing down the lovely purple, Fae-made jacket he wore that turned him into a living, breathing flower. That shade of purple on him enhanced his natural coloring perfectly.
“There you are.” Seongchan smiled. “I’ve been looking for you.”
Yeonjun's stomach flipped over pleasantly at the words. Apart from this spell, he'd been unable to think of anything but Seongchan for days, but the Fae had been nowhere to be found. “You have?” he asked dumbly.
The Fae hummed, floated over to his side and swooped in to kiss his cheek. Yeonjun flushed, dropping his birch stirring rod. "You smell like the forest," he said against his skin.
“Um, yeah. I was gathering ingredients for this spell.”
“A spell?” The Fae’s eyes surveyed the arrangement as if he only just noticed it all there.
Yeonjun took a slow breath. “It’s for my mom actually. She has debilitating migraines. They’re so bad she can’t even get up or barely open her eyes when they hit. She’s been so sick, and hopefully this will help heal her.”
Seongchan looked a little dubious. “Why can’t you just take her to a Healer?” he asked breezily, leaning further over the table to peer at the contents inside the little cauldron. Yeonjun blinked, breathing in the wild scent of him as his body invaded his space. He looked so bored, as if he didn’t care to hear the answer to his own question.
“Ah…because there are no Healers for, um, Humans,” he said cautiously.
“Why not?” Seongchan pressed, and Yeonjun’s mouth dropped open a little.
“Because,” he said slowly, unsure if the other boy honestly didn’t know or if he was simply humoring him. “We’re different…aren’t we? No one knows what Fae treatments may do to a Human—what side effects there may be—and attempting anything would be, ahm…Human experimentation.” He hesitated, feeling uncertain over the way Seongchan knew next to nothing about Humans. The way he didn’t seem to care. “Studies like that are still against the law. As of now.”
“Oh.” Seongchan nodded slowly. “So, that would be like trying to take Fae to the vet to get treated?” he asked, sounding like he’d suddenly understood it all at once.
Yeonjun wasn’t sure what it was about Fae and comparing Humans to animals. He knew Seongchan wasn’t a Zealot, obviously. He was dating a Human. But Yeonjun was starting to dislike the easy, off-hand way he’d use that sort of language. He shifted uncomfortably beside him. “We’re not that different,” he protested awkwardly. “We have healers, too. Doctors.”
“I know about doctors,” Seongchan scoffed, sounding a little haughty for once. “Useless for Fae, obviously, but you should take her there.”
“I have, of course,” Yeonjun said tightly, frustration growing despite his efforts to quell it. “They just give her medication to treat the symptoms. There’s nothing they can do for the cause. That’s why I’m making this.”
Seongchan didn’t look amazed or awed, just sort of skeptical. “How do you know the spell will work?”
“I just know,” Yeonjun said firmly. He gestured around the little room all crammed full of his inventions and experiments, all the failed or half-understood spells in progress, as well as the increasingly large amount of successful, beautiful works of magic. All his treasures. His heart and soul. “This is what I do,” he said proudly.
“It sounds just the same as your Human drugs,” Seongchan commented dismissively, already seeming to lose interest.
“No,” Yeonjun insisted. “This is magic. My magic.”
“Witch potions,” Seongchan agreed, turning to him with that smile Yeonjun loved.
Yeonjun swallowed thickly at the strange turn of the conversation. The way that they were so different and unable to reach a common understanding made him feel bad. “No, it’s just magic. All magic is one and the same, it’s just the manner in which we access it that’s different.”
“As you like,” Seongchan agreed easily, eye lighting up as he looked down at something on the worktable.
Yeonjun followed his gaze to see his precious little flower, still glowing softly with moonlight where it lay, and his eyes lingered on it for a moment in concern. It looked slightly dimmer than it had before Seongchan entered. Its potency was waning.
Seongchan reached out as if to touch it, and Yeonjun made an aborted movement to stop him as instead the Fae promptly dipped one finger into the rosewater Yeonjun had prepared for the final stage of the spell. The mixture glowed around the digit and his heart rate spiked in alarm.
Seongchan seemed completely ignorant of how Yeonjun’s brain worked, surely. Of how magic worked. But he hadn’t even asked first—
Yeonjun was about to say as much when the other lifted his wet finger and blew on it gently—magic in his very breath. It was elemental and natural—so rich—and right before his eyes the water lifted off the digit in perfectly round, little drops. Yeonjun sucked in a startled breath as with one little flick of his finger the drops exploded and misted all across his face. His skin tingled all over where the water landed. He shivered as his heart raced in response to being touched by Fae magic like this. It was exhilarating.
“You like when I do magic on you?” Seongchan asked in a low, sultry voice.
Yeonjun nodded eagerly, chest heaving, blinking up at him slowly with his eyelids gone heavy. “Yes,” he breathed out. “Wh-what did you do?”
“Mm...just a little something,” Seongchan evaded with a smile. “I was sorry about hurting you last time,” he said, and Yeonjun’s stomach flipped over, the warm arousal instantly draining away. “It won’t hurt now.” He smirked a little, his eyes gone intensely dark.
Yeonjun didn’t know what to say, how to handle this topic being brought out into the open like this, and before he could figure himself out Seongchan was reaching for him. He gathered him up, maneuvering him over to the cluttered cot and not even bothering to straighten the blankets or move Yeonjun’s inspiration sketchbook aside. He just pressed him down onto it all.
Yeonjun gazed up at him and lost all track of what he’d been thinking. Seongchan was so beautiful, purple hair falling into his eyes just so, and then he was touching him. His fingers were like warm water trailing on his bare skin, up under his shirt. Yeonjun arched helplessly into him.
“You’re so pretty,” Seongchan whispered. “You light up when you talk about your little magic things. It makes me want to eat you up.”
Yeonjun was a little taken aback even as his heart throbbed at the way this beautiful person somehow saw beauty in him . He didn’t really want the hands that were shoving down under the material of his pants though, and he pressed his hands against that firm chest. “Not here,” he protested, eyes darting to the door.
Seongchan ignored him, tugging at his clothing and removing his pants, and Yeonjun just let him. He felt so uncomfortable. Turning his head away, his anxious eyes fell upon the worktable. Almost belatedly he remembered his spell and the critical state it was in. The magic was fading from the blossom with each passing minute!
He was distracted by the feel of something touching him, and it took him a few moments to understand that Seongchan was already starting to push himself inside. But Yeonjun couldn’t really feel it. It was like his lower body had gone numb. There was no pain. There was no pleasure either, no sensation of any kind, and he blinked up at the ceiling in a daze of confusion as Seongchan’s breathing went a little strained, their bodies sliding together all the way, all at once.
It didn’t hurt. It didn’t feel like anything.
He wrapped his arms around Seongchan’s shoulders at the other’s prompting, listening with a strange sense of detachment to the sound of their bodies coming together over and over. Seongchan’s low gasps and needy moans pressed intimately against his ear, but there was nothing about this moment together that felt intimate to Yeonjun.
Yeonjun’s eyes strayed back over to the desk despite himself. His spell needed attention, but right now Seongchan needed him, too, and he wasn’t about to put a spell above the needs of a real person.
It lasted for longer than he expected, seeming to draw out even more because his own body was nearly unresponsive to the stimulation. He wanted to maybe touch himself instead to feel like they were doing this together, but then wondered if doing so might be against some Fae mating etiquette. There must be a reason he was treating him like this, and Yeonjun would have asked him if he weren’t so concerned about getting it over with as soon as possible to get back to his work.
Then Seongchan was finally sated, and his whole body sagged heavily on top of Yeonjun as he caught his breath. When he pushed himself up a little to look down at him, his face was flushed and glowing and he was so beautiful. “Such a good aewan…” he trailed off as his eyes flickered from Yeonjun’s face to his hair. He lifted one hand to pluck a pin from where it had been holding a lock of pink hair back, holding it up before his eyes before slipping it into his own hair. His eyes sparkled as he felt the magic in it. “I like this.”
And of course he liked it: it was Yeonjun’s single most prized possession and Seongchan must have been able to feel the reason why. It wasn’t merely one of his vanity pins.
There was a single pearl on it, one he’d made with a very private sort of spell and his mother’s smile in mind. It gifted the wearer with a warm little feeling as if their loved one was there with them even when they were apart. Just a little sense of not alone that reminded him he had a family who loved him, and he didn’t think he could bear to be without it.
Seongchan must have seen the conflict on his face, because he was dipping down to kiss him once before asking more softly, “Can I keep it?”
“It’s yours,” he found himself saying, lifting his chin a little to chase those tantalizing lips.
The Fae smiled and pecked him on the lips indulgently. “Love you,” he murmured easily.
Yeonjun swallowed. “I...love you too,” he responded reflexively. He hadn’t thought they’d reached that point yet, but here Seongchan was saying those three words. He’d always thought he’d say it for the first time like a confession—only after he’d felt it, and he wasn’t sure that he truly felt it yet.
“Can I see you tomorrow?” Seongchan was asking.
Yeonjun just nodded at him feeling a little numb.
“Come with me to Vanity Fair again,” he demanded, smiling widely when Yeonjun nodded again.
Then he was gone.
When Yeonjun found himself alone again, he quickly pulled his clothing back into place, scrambled off of the cot and rushed to his desk, his dampened mood spiraling even further as he took in the state of his abandoned spell work. It was ruined.
The moondrop was blackened and useless, and its precious magic was lost to him.
He tried to push away the sudden resentment that pressed up in his chest. He’d have to start over and there was no guarantee he’d be able to find that magical clearing a second time.
The knowledge of his failure sank heavily like a stone in his gut.
The perfume of Fae magic still lingered in the air, and as Yeonjun slowly began to clean up the useless ingredients, he felt the way that Seongchan’s magic still had a hold on his body. He’d forgotten to undo the spell. But it was okay. Yeonjun honestly didn’t want to feel the ache that was supposed to be there. When it was like this, he could just ignore it.
And it was good that Seongchan hadn’t lifted the numbing spell after all, because it turned out Yeonjun needed it again the next night.
He dutifully dolled himself up and changed some of his beauty-oriented accessories out for more practical ones. Little pieces that would give him a confidence boost, another to dissuade mal-intent, and the most important one that helped prevent intoxication. He’d felt so out of his depth last time. And yet, for all his hopeful planning it would very quickly become more of the same.
Seongchan’s friends ignored him just as before, and he found that the alcohol the Fae gave him was immune to the effects of his charm. It only took one cup to send his thoughts spinning until he was detached from himself once again. He started to feel sick, sweaty and shaking—awful. His whole body went all weak and it was difficult to even sit up without Seongchan’s arm looped around his back.
The rest of the night was disjointed images, the world swirling around him and voices garbled in his ears.
He lost time.
Confused and bleary, he found himself laying on his back in some dark place, the ground soft and springy beneath his bare skin. Like moss. Everywhere, the scent of damp earth and leaves.
Little lights sparked behind his eyes, flit above him in the air like fireflies as Seongchan took his pleasure from Yeonjun’s body, long and slow. The Fae was still perfectly lovely as always, his charming smile the only thing he could see. The hands on his body were gentle, but Yeonjun still couldn’t feel anything.
The heavy scent of outdoors and magic lingered around them, crawling into his skin and coating his tongue. His head was aching and he couldn’t remember why he was here…why he’d wanted to come here. He didn’t want to be here.
After that, a whole week passed before Seongchan came to see him again. He had no explanation or apology to offer, just expected Yeonjun to be there waiting for him when he wanted him. Expected Yeonjun to lay down on the nearest soft surface and give him his body. And Yeonjun did, because what did it matter now?
He still couldn’t feel anything but he didn’t even want to anymore.
The days he spent in between Seongchan’s visits passed slowly. Empty. He felt like he’d somehow lost something, something he couldn’t seem to articulate, and he wasn’t sure how or where. He tinkered around in his lab without any excitement or direction, and then went days at a time without even entering the room. He let his half-completed projects stagnate, let ingredients wither and spell books collect dust, forgotten under his cot. Ever since the failed spell for his mom, he’d lost his motivation. Or something.
He lost something.
He was tired of having to work so hard for magic. Every single step of the way was a continual choice for him, a commitment to put forth effort and apply himself to learning this skill. After seeing the easy, careless way the Fae used their magic up close and personal, he looked at himself with new eyes and saw how he was severely lacking.
By the time final exams were over and done, Yeonjun realized he hadn’t seen his boyfriend for over three weeks. Three weeks since Seongchan called him his pretty aewan. Three weeks since he pushed him down on his cot without a word and proceeded to fuck him like a doll. Three weeks of loneliness and an ever growing weight somewhere deep inside of him that dragged at his steps and followed him everywhere he went.
He didn't think Seongchan was coming back this time.
When that realization finally dawned on Yeonjun, it didn't upset him. He was surprised to find that he was glad. He didn’t want him to come back.
His world wasn’t quite the same after the brief period of time Seongchan had spent in it. It was lackluster and crude, tainted with unpleasant memories and all these reminders of little things that he lost along the way without even realizing it.
He hadn’t really understood what it meant to be collected by a Fae, something his mother had worried about every time the uncomfortable topic of magic came up between them, and now he wished he had listened. He’d been collected and used like an object until the Fairy had grown bored with him and thrown him away. He looked at his own collection of trinkets he previously held such an affinity for and felt...disgust.
This was all he amounted to, in the end: a pretty trinket.
He locked the door to the Magic Club room and turned his back on it. It didn’t feel special any more. He didn’t feel special.
He felt lost.
School was out for the summer and while Yeonjun previously planned to stay on and continue his research, he could hardly stand to step in the Magic Club room anymore. There was nothing for him here, and he didn’t know where to go but back home.
His mother gathered him into a tight hug the moment he stepped through the front door, and he clung to her as her familiar scent invaded his whole body like a healing balm. She felt so safe, and he abruptly realized he had longed to feel something like this for weeks. He should have come sooner.
“Yeonjun, what a pleasant surprise,” she welcomed him.
He exhaled shakily, wanting to share some of his burdens, to let just a little of it out in the privacy of this embrace, but ended up biting down on his lip instead. He couldn't bear to hear any reproach. He had already been berating himself for weeks over his poor choices in regards to Seongchan.
His mother released him from the hug to lead him across the sitting room and sit them down on her pastel blue sofa. A soft breeze came through the open window behind it, the gauzy white curtains fluttering and dancing at its touch, and Yeonjun absently saw how it was beautiful, even without any magic in it. Something about that distinction seemed to soothe him just a little.
“I’ve missed you, darling,” his mother said, drawing his attention away from the window. “It’s been so long since you last came home for a visit.”
There was no hint of reproach in her voice, but she was right and he ducked his head a little in shame. He had only come back for two nights during the winter holidays and not even once during the previous summer. He'd obsessively occupied his time with one project after another and hadn’t wanted to pause anything long enough to visit her.
But now it all felt so pointless. Years of studying everything he could get his hands on just so he could indulge in some silly little experiments…all for what?
“I know. I’m sorry,” he said quietly, the events of the past few months sitting so obtrusively up in his throat. There was no way at all he’d be able to explain any of it to her without feeling stupid and even more miserable.
The conversation was stilted thanks to the time apart. “How are your studies going?” she inevitably asked, and he turned to find that familiar expression of mild tolerance on her face. She still didn’t approve of his chosen major.
“Fine,” he said shortly. No matter how many times he explained this to her, she never seemed to grasp the gravity of magic in his life.
She heaved a long, slow sigh. “I want you to listen to me, Yeonjun.” Though her tone was carefully mild, Yeonjun was instantly set on guard as he realized what she was going to say. Again. “I understand you think studying magic is a worthwhile use of your time, but what of your future, darling? What do you even intend to do with your degree once you’ve graduated?”
Yeonjun stared at her for a long moment, unable to find any new response to this same old question.
“I’ll just keep doing what I already am,” he said flatly. “It’s magical research, mom. It doesn’t just end.”
“Are you planning to become a teacher further down the road? ” she pushed—again. “Working at the university could be a great career option.”
Yeonjun was already shaking his head. “I don't know, mom,” he tried to explain even though he knew she wouldn’t like what he had to say. “There’s still so much I need to work on and my professors are really impressed with the ideas I’m considering for my dissertation—I need to focus on that before anything else.”
His mom searched his face, then slowly leaned back into the sofa cushions with a weary sigh. “Yeonjun…I don’t think you realize just how much you’ve changed yourself over the past few years. The magic you use…you don’t need it, darling. It’s not good for you. I want you to be happy just being yourself.” She tilted her head just so, the look on her face so sad and full of understanding when she truly didn’t understand him at all. A hole suddenly seemed to have opened in the pit of his stomach.
“I am being myself,” he whispered tightly, heat crawling up into his cheeks. “This is me, and you’ve never once asked me how I really—you don’t understand. This is my passion. This is my life.” This affinity is all he had. One of his professors had called it a gift, and despite the careless way Seongchan showed Yeonjun that his experience with magic was narrow, sheltered, entirely Human and hopelessly inferior to Fae magic, Yeonjun still wanted someone to admire his unique understanding of magical innovation.
“Yeonjun…” Her voice wavered over his name, and he felt so bad for upsetting her but she was saying this even while knowing full well what it meant to him. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but as your mother I’m telling you this has become an unhealthy obsession. I have nothing against magic, darling, but if its effect on you is harmful, then it’s not a good thing.“
His mother had always warned him about Fae, always worried he’d be hurt or led astray, and he wanted to prove her wrong and tell her magic had never hurt him, but that wasn’t true anymore. He hadn’t really cared at the beginning because he wanted to be loved by Seongchan so badly—but it hadn’t been what he thought he wanted at all.
She had been right and hearing this now made him feel confused and sort of sick.
Silence stretched between them for one long minute. He didn’t know what to say, hating the way he had to defend his choices when even he didn’t find them worthy or enjoyable right now. After the way Seongchan treated him, Yeonjun was a little disenchanted with magic, but nothing could change how deeply he believed magic to be the most beautiful phenomenon in existence.
Even though he didn’t know what he wanted to do with it anymore, nothing else meant so much to him as magic.