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Expense Reports

Summary:

This is a collection of emails to the beleaguered head of Purchasing at the Magnus Institute. Each chapter shows emails she sent, or were sent to her, in each season.

Chapter 1: Season 1

Chapter Text

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected], [email protected]

Hi Tim,

I hope you had a great weekend. I know you have a habit of filling out these expense reports a little cheekily, but I wanted to let you know that in the future, “Bribes ;)” will not be an acceptable “reason for expense.” I will give this one a pass because flowers are an acceptable purchase for a funeral home, and your purchase from an approved vendor AND with the receipt attached, is a great improvement.

Mr. Sims,

I am attaching you here because I know you signed off on this report. I would ask that you read these over a little more carefully in future.

Warmly,

Heather Poe

Purchasing Manager

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From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

[Attachment: Food and Guests.doc]

Dear Ms James,

Thank you for your most recent expense report! As you may have seen, we have recently changed the requirements for purchases of food for meetings. Your associate Mr Stoker may be able to help you with these new requirements, as he was part of the reason they were instituted.

In spite of these changes, your coffee with “a fellow researcher” on 1st of April, 2016 will still be reimbursed even though you were not able to provide us with a receipt. I know that these changes came very recently, and we have all been a little lax about these things in the past.

Please let me know if you’d like me to explain the attached update in more detail!

Warmly,

Heather Poe

Purchasing Manager

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

[Attachment: Coffee.png]

Hi Heather,

Thank you for your email. The receipt from this most recent visit was misprinted and covered in what I can only hope was coffee, so I didn’t think to attach it. Please see attached scan. As you can see, it only reads

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Thank you for filing out these reports, I do appreciate it!

Warmly,

Sasha James

Assistant Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London

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From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Good afternoon Mr Sims,

I have received a few worrying expense reports from the Archives, just thought I would have you sign off one more time before I run this by Mr Bouchard. Please confirm that the following are correct:

1) Under “Office Supplies,” you have purchased “Fire Extinguishers.” We have a separate code for “Emergency Supplies,” that I would ask you use in future. I also assume you meant to buy 2, as per Institute safety measures, and not 20. Please advise.

2) I cannot sign off on “Bail” for Mr Blackwood’s recent arrest for Breaking and Entering. While I know that research can take you in exciting directions – I myself once worked in the research department! – breaking and entering is not allowed under UK law, which our Institute still must follow. We can help cover court fees in certain situations – please reach out to [email protected] for more information!

3) We offer “dry cleaning” as a courtesy for business trip expenses. I can tell by the prices that Mr Blackwood has been cleaning his clothes using a nearby laundromat, but I understand why he would use the “dry cleaning” code as it is the closest available option. This is because we do not pay for employees to clean their clothes.

a. We also do not pay for employee’s meals, aside from lunch meetings and team bonding activities. Please explain why the archives has been purchasing enough oatmeal for 7 breakfasts a week.

4) I also noticed that expense reports for more archival tapes have stopped coming. Are you working through a backlog, or have you managed to record everything digitally?

Thank you for looking these over, Mr Sims. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

Warmly,

Heather Poe

Purchasing Manager