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"Snorkmaiden," Moomin stated confidently as Snorkmaiden watered flowers, "I am in love with Snufkin."
"I always knew you were bi." Snorkmaiden said calmly, "Besides, I like Snufkin too. He's hot."
"Well that's wonderful and perfect." Moomin said, keeping the same tone of voice. "Then we can all love each other (if Snufkin loves us back) and be together and be happy and it will be nice."
"Indeed, Moomin. Since we admitted our feelings for Snufkin to each other, we should admit it to Snufkin as well."
"Yes, but how?"
Snorkmaiden stopped watering the flowers for a moment as she thought.
"Well, Moominpappa said we can take the boat out whenever we want, right?"
"Yes, something about how he's 'too old now, and can't have fun like he used to.' I think my father might be having a midlife crisis, actually."
"Great. So why don't we take Snufkin out for a day of adventuring since he loves adventure so much, and then confess to him while the sun is setting? It would be very romantic, and it works in books."
"Of course, that's what we'll do, since t̶h̶e̶ i̶n̶t̶e̶r̶n̶e̶t̶ books never lie. It will go perfectly and nothing will go wrong."
------
"Snufkin."
"Moomintroll."
"Me and Snorkmaiden want to hang out with you tomorrow. We were thinking that we would take out the boat and sail all day, maybe find a distant island, maybe not. Explore if we can. It will be very fun, and since you love adventure so much we want you to join us."
Snufkin hummed thoughtfully, "I don't know Moomin, it sounds like a date. I wouldn't want to ruin a romantic trip for you and Snorkmaiden."
"Oh, please Snufkin? It isn't a date, I promise! And you always have so much fun exploring new places, and seeing you happy makes us both so happy, and we want you to come!"
"Alright, I'll go with you. But if you kiss in front of me, I jump off the boat."
"What, why?"
Snufkin looked down, his hat covering his face. "No reason."
"Well, I promise not to kiss Snorkmaiden if you will join us, and I'm sure that she wouldn't mind since this was her idea!"
Snufkin looked back up in surprise. "It was?"
"Yes! And we're both so excited to do this with you, it'll be so much fun!"
"Yes," Snufkin said with a smile, "I think it will be."
------
They had been sailing all day when they found an island. Moomin had been worried, saying they should go home sooner than later. But Snufkin was excited, so he reluctantly agreed to check it out before heading back.
Then Snorkmaiden spotted a whale, and it all went to hell.
While they were all admiring the gentle giant, it dove under the water. All was quiet as they waited to see if it would come back up, and Moomin took the opportunity to slide his hand over Snufkin's.
Snufkin barely had time to blush before the whale resurfaced and everyone screamed.
Because unfortunately for them, this whale was a giant but not gentle. In fact, one may say that it was a bit sadistic for a sea creature, considering how smug it seemed as it's tail hit the ship and sent it and it's sailors flying through the air.
------
Moomin slowly opened his eyes to see some wood floating by, and he became lucid enough to realize how much his lungs burned and the fact that he was currently underwater.
He tried swimming to the surface, but his legs wouldn't move right, and he could barely feel his body. His everything felt numb, and he would begin to drown in a moment.
As he lost consciousness again, he saw green.
------
When Moomin opened his eyes again, he was on dry land.
He sat up slowly and looked around, seeing Snufkin and Snorkmaiden a few paces away.
"What happened?" He asked, and they both looked at him.
"Moomin you almost fucking died." Snorkmaiden said.
"Language." Snufkin replied.
"My bad. That whale knocked the ship all the way towards the island, and threw me into the shallows and you and Snufkin into the ocean. Snufkin managed to stay on the boat, apparently, though we don't know how, and saw you under the water." Snorkmaiden answered.
"And I couldn't let you drown." Snufkin finished, tipping his hat to hide his face.
...for some reason.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're okay!" Snorkmaiden said, hugging Moomin.
"And Snufkin," she continued, releasing Moomin, "Thank you again for saving Moomin. You were very brave."
She walked over to him and nuzzled his cheek. He froze.
Moomin smiled fondly, then looked past the two towards the other side of the island.
God, this island was small. But the important thing is that he saw some funny shapes in the distance.
"Um, guys, what is that?" Moomin asked the pair, pointing behind them. They turned to look, and Snufkin pushed his hat up.
"Oh, there's people on this island. And we were thinking of asking for medical help if anyone is hurt."
"...Is anyone hurt?"
"Well, we've all been knocked around pretty good. But nobody managed to break any bones or anything major, luckily. It seems that whatever god is out there was nice to a mumrik for once, (for some reason.)" Snufkin said, muttering the last part under his breath.
"Well, should we go over there?"
They were all silent for a moment.
A few minutes later, they were in the village. It was a rather small village, and no one was outside.
Snufkin slowed down, allowing Snorkmaiden and Moomin to pass in front of him. When they noticed and turned around, he was picking the lock on the door of one of the houses.
"SNUFKIN!" Snorkmaiden shouted.
"WHAT?!" He yelled back.
"Don't break into people's houses! It's wrong!"
"And?! I don't care!" He said, rolling his eyes.
"Oh. why do I love you." She muttered, and Moomin nodded in agreement even though no one saw him.
"Did you say something?"
"NO."
They were all silent, and nobody moved, since they were all to surprised from Snorkmaiden's sudden outburst. She and Snufkin stared at each other. Then Snufkin finished picking the lock, and without breaking eye contact, opened the door and started walking in.
"Snufkin-"
He didn't even pause as he broke into the stranger's house.
Then he came walking back out with his hands up, followed by a man holding a spoon in a threatening manner, almost as if it were a knife that he was willing to stab someone with. At least it wasn't a fork, you could actually stab someone with that. But the way the spoon was pointed at Snufkin's face was... threatening. Almost like he was planning to scoop the mumrik's eyes out of his head, which was a weird thought to have.
"Who the fuck are you?" He asked.
"Language," Snufkin replied, "And may I know your name?"
"I asked first, and you broke into my house."
"Exactly, I could be dangerous." Snufkin said, putting his hands down and standing up straight.
"I have a spoon. You have nothing."
"I can see that."
"Who are you? Tell me."
"You never tell a strange man your name, one of the first lessons my mother taught me. Though, the lesson was about strangers in general. And I taught it to myself since I was abandoned in a basket as a toddler."
"If you never tell a stranger your name, why would I tell you?"
"Good question," Snufkin said, holding his hand out, "I'm Snufkin."
The man lowered the spoon to shake Snufkin's hand. "I'm Hugo." He raised the spoon again. "Now why were you in my house."
"I wanted to see if anyone was around."
"So you break into someone's home?!"
"Yes."
"Snufkin!" Moomin scolded.
"Shut-" Snufkin began, but Hugo beat him to it.
"Shut up."
Moomin blinked in surprise as Snufkin gasped in a loud, offended manner.
"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO HIM?!"
"But you were-"
"BRO, ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO TELL MY BESTIE TO SHUT UP. BRO, LITERALLY JUST P E R I S H."
Moomin wilted slightly at the fact he was being friend-zoned, and Snorkmaiden held his hand in reassurance.
Snufkin didn't pay them any attention, his new victim his biggest priority. He hadn't felt this way since he found out parks existed.
God, he hated this man. And he respected him for it, which made it much, MUCH worse. Worse than park keepers and cops.
This man was officially the WORST.
"OKAY, YOU, ME, OUTSIDE, N O W." Snufkin yelled.
"We're already outside?!" Hugo yelled back.
Then Snufkin initiated a fist fight.
"SNUFKIN!" Snorkmaiden yelled angrily, "NEVER SWING FIRST!"
But it was to late, since Snufkin and Hugo were already fighting, the spoon thrown at Snufkin and not picked up again. That spoon would eventually be found by a child in the village and turned into a toy, complete with a drawn-on face and little glued-on shoes. The spoon would break after many years, and would then be used as a marker for plants being grown in their garden.
But that was later, and this was now. And in the now, Snufkin and Hugo were being pulled away from each other by Snorkmaiden and Moomin, respectfully.
They had both gotten some pretty good hits on the other, and were both seething.
"ASSHOLE, BREAKING INTO MY HOUSE!"
"JERK, YELLING AT MY FAVORITE PEOPLE!"
This took Snorkmaiden and Moomin by surprise. Favorite people? Maybe they did have a chance after all, and the friend-zoning was a cover up for how Snufkin really feels?
Hopefully. Maybe. Probable. Possibly. They hoped.
Snufkin and Hugo continued yelling at each other as Moomin and Snorkmaiden thought everything through, and Hugo lunged at Snufkin after he was called a 'emo fucker', because Snufkin would start swearing profusely once he was mad enough (which hardly ever happened).
Moomin snapped out of his thoughts, holding Hugo back with a strength only natural for someone his size. Moomins and Snorks were much stronger than their marshmellowy, soft appearance suggested.
Hugo struggled for a moment, before giving up. Moomin then proceeded to give Snorkmaiden a look that she returned before gracefully throwing Hugo back through the open door into his house. Then he and Snorkmaiden, who was still carrying a baffled Snufkin, ran like Snufkin when he was being chased by the law.
They heard Hugo yell, but didn't stop or even look back. Considering that Snufkin, now thrown over Snorkmaiden's shoulder, hadn't said anything, they weren't being chased probably.
They still ran though.
------
The ship was a little battered, but good enough for sailing, just like them.
The sun was setting, and Moomin and Snorkmaiden looked at each other.
"Dove," She said softly, taking Moomin's hand, "It's time."
Moomin took a deep breath, "No going back now."
"Hopefully he feels the same way, or this trip back will be very awkward."
"Yeah, hopefully."
They turned to Snufkin, leaning against the ship's railing looking at the sunset.
"Wow guys, that sure is pretty." Snufkin said.
"As are you." Moomin replied.
"Excuse me?" Snufkin appeared baffled, which was reasonable.
Snorkmaiden took a step back, deciding she would only interject if something went wrong.
"I SAID-" Moomin said a little louder than necessary, "That you are PRETTY. There, I said it."
"...Thanks bro." Snufkin said, turning away.
"No! Not 'thanks bro'. That is not what is happening here!"
"Moomin, let's not do this here, we are all stuck together for the next few hours so if you make this awkward we all have to deal with it."
"But once we dock the ship, you'll run away! And don't deny it, because you do it every time something weird happens around here. I know you do, I've seen it. Many a time."
"...But in front of your girlfriend man? Really?"
"I agree with him, by the way." Snorkmaiden said.
"Well that's great, now it's twice as awkward."
"Or," Moomin replied, "It's half as awkward because Snorkmaiden is cool with it and she agrees. It's only awkward if you don't agree with it."
"Don't try to manipulate me."
"Shoot, it worked on me when the witch did it. My bad."
They all sat in silence for a moment before Moomin spoke again.
"Hey mister, if you could re-arrange the alphabet, how would you put it together?"
Snufkin blinked. "...What?"
"Because if I could re-arrange the alphabet," Moomin did finger guns, "I would put the 'U' and 'I' together."
"...Are you seriously trying to pick me up right now?"
"Do you need a glass because you're a tall drink of water."
"What does that even mean?"
"No idea but I know people say it sometimes while flirting."
"Put your hands down."
Moomin stopped doing finger guns.
Snorkmaiden intervened, "Snufkin we are in love with you."
"I understand that, but I don't want to get between you two."
"You won't be, because we love you and each other. Like with your sister and Too-Ticky and that cop."
"Don't remind me that she's dating the cop."
"My apologies, but you get the point. Only instead of us both dating Moomin, we would also be dating each other. If you want."
"Cool beans."
"Is that a yes?"
"Sure why not."
And that my friends is how the three of them all began dating.