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Truth Potion Shots was considered one of the worst “games” a person could put themselves through.
For one thing, the brewing and consumption of truth potions was strictly regulated on every campus across the continent, and students caught could land in serious trouble. For another, it never ended up being actually fun for anyone involved, but instead just embarrassing and awkward. And finally, truth potion itself tastes vile. It was described as similar to warm beer, but with 0% alcohol and 40% more pee flavor.
Naturally, the game was extremely popular, and practically a right of passage for any group of magically gifted students.
Diana was never actually going to let them bring it to school, and Akko, with all the wisdom of a 19 year old, figured it’d be best not to get expelled the week before graduation. In exchange, however, they were camping outside of Cavendish Manor for the night. Gathered ‘round on the most inexplicably fancy folding chairs Akko had ever seen in her life, with nothing but a nice fire pit keeping their potion warm and ton of cups between them
It was Lotte’s turn again this round.
“Take a shot if...if uhhh…”
Hannah snapped her fingers. “Tick tock, Lotte!”
“If you ever had an embarrassing crush!” Lotte flinched. “S-sorry…”
“Boooooo.” Amanda jeered, before drowning a shot.
By this round, Akko had taken 6 (maybe 7?) shots. There was enough truth potion in her system that she was not surprised that her arm lifted completely of its own accord and brought the cup to her lips. She winced as the potion burned her throat. Goodness knows that she’s had way too many weird crushes, before hooking up with Diana.
“Hey look, Hannah’s taking a shot.”
“Oh shut up, Babs.” Hannah snapped back.
Jasminka, next to them, took a shot, as did Barbara. Constanze did not. Lotte did not. More than a few eyes (absolutely including Akko’s own) looked to Diana, seated demurely next to her, who conspicuously neither touched her glass or looked as though she was struggling not to.
“I have only ever had the one crush on a person,” Diana explained matter-of-factly. “And I’ve never seen reason to feel embarrassed of my feelings for Akko either.”
“Aww, Dianaaaa! You’re such a sap!” Akko snickered, enjoying the pleasant tinge of butterflies in her stomach that still persisted all these years later. She wondered how much of that was Diana talking and how much was the potion voicing her thoughts.
Diana smiled softly at her. “Am I safe to presume it wasn’t me you were thinking of when you drank? And please- don’t tell me who it is.”
“Heehee, How could anyone be embarrassed about you? I just think you’re always so cute!”
“I dunno,” Amanda shrugged her shoulders widely. “I’m kinda getting second-hand embarrassment here.”
“Haha, hey! C’mon Amanda, it’s not like you-!”
“Damn it.”
Akko’s gaze drifted to Sucy, who had been sitting perfectly still. Or at least, was trying to: her body had been shaking with tremendous willpower, but in the end, any amount of resistance might as well have amounted to none.
Unable to stop herself, Sucy lurched forward, and took a shot. And despite the moment of shock...Akko wasn’t one to waste an opportunity to gloat.
“Soooo…!” Akko sang sweetly. “Even you have a soft side, don’t you Sucy? Is it anyone I know?”
“Yes.” Sucy’s answer came immediately. She cringed. “... hrm. So this is how it feels to be drugged...”
“I wonder what kind of person it would take to melt your heart. I bet she’s bad to the bone! She probably had to do something real wicked to get to you, huh?”
Sucy narrowed her eyes, and after three years of experience, Akko more than knew the kind of trouble that would follow a look that mean. But also, she didn’t care.
“You’re an idiot. Besides, if it wasn’t for being roommates, I wouldn’t have even-”
“Oh. My. Gosh. You had a crush on Lotte?! That’s so cuuute!”
“No, on you.” Sucy shoved Akko’s face away. “...Ugh. I thought I’d be more immune to this.”
Akko’s jaw dropped.
She flashed a glance at Diana, who really neither seemed surprised nor offended. Not that she would be. Why would she be? It wasn’t weird. A person confessing to liking her over truth potion shots wasn’t weird. Not that it was her roommate for three years either. Not weird.
Akko’s mouth flopped open and closed of its own accord. It took her a solid minute to be able to find a graceful way to ask the burning question on her mind.
“You have an actual honest to gosh human crush on me…? Why-? When did you even-?”
“Had.” Sucy said.
“I remember,” Lotte said. “You said it was like, 95% proximity.”
“Why do you remember that.”
“I may have…shipped it?”
“Why?”
“You told me were never going to say anything! You were always worried she’d make a big deal out of it, and it felt so forbidden!” She said the word like it was the most delicious thing ever.
“Why.”
“Well uh, yeah!” Akko said flatly. “Because you had a crush on me!”
Sucy did her best to look plussed. “We saw each other every day, and you are...not hard to look at. So I had a little thing, and I thought better of it by Samhain, and that was it.”
“Samha-“ Akko blanked. “Samhain? You had a crush on me when we first met?!”
“…I hate you Lotte.”
“I didn’t know she didn’t know.”
“Why would you even assume Akko knows?”
“It’s only natural,” Diana replied evenly. “My girlfriend is simply wonderful in all regards.”
Sucy looked at Diana’s glass, which was only half empty. “You disgust me.”
Why did Akko suddenly feel self-conscious? Should she? It was over and done with, but she never even thought one person had a crush on her, much less two. And when they first met? With Sucy of all people?
She really hoped these thoughts she was thinking weren’t just potion swimming in her brain. She found herself tracing the rim of her glass, blushing just slightly.
“I mean, I kinda thought you were cute too? Like in a mean, hot and cold kinda way. I’m pretty sure I had a dream where we almost kissed. At least, I think it was a dream…”
Sucy wiped her hand down her face. “Stop talking.”
Diana sat up, frowning. “Was it a dream, or did you…?”
“I...I think? I can’t actually remember if that whole thing was real or if I just dreamt it, and like no one really talks about all the mushrooms that grew inside the dorms, so that’s kind of a point in favor.”
“J-just...for the sake of clarification,” Diana said, “I don’t mind that you may have kissed others before me. I just took a small amount of pride in being your first kiss.”
“But also , I remember it so vividly!” Akko continued. “There was all the little Sucys, and I remember the bruise on the back of my head making it hard to sleep! So it might’ve been real, right?”
“I...n-not pride, exactly. That’s the wrong word for it. I wouldn’t- I don’t think it’s right to be so possessive of such a silly quality, it is just a kiss after all, but I’m just-“
“But- but still! I mean...if you had said something-! I don’t actually know what I would’ve done if you did, but- you know, you could’ve! ”
The growing mire on Sucy’s face all but confirmed she was going to spend a significant amount of the next week legally classified as a walking environmental hazard. Akko wisely chose to back off.
Though, Akko could not say she was done thinking about it. It was probably better for her health that she lucked out with Diana. But nonetheless, what a strange rabbit hole it was to think about. Hannah and Barbara laughed at the whole scene. Constanze scrutinized her glass like she wanted something harder.
Amanda took a long sip of her drink. “But let's be real though. Like both of them, Akko and Diana? I would absolutely be down to fuck either if they asked.”
“What?!” Akko’s glass went flying out of her hand. “You too?”
“I mean, hey,” Amanda shrugged cooly, watching the cup sail through the air. “Like Sucy said, I’m gay and you’re there. Whaddya want me to say?”
“I did not say that. Don’t put stupid things in my mouth.”
“First Diana, then Sucy, now you?! What the hell?”
“Language, both of you.” Diana cut in, looking disdainfully at the very nice, excessively fancy glass now on the dirt.
“I mean seriously, Akko,” Amanda continued, “you always were cute, in a dweeby kinda way. And it was so obvious you were gay, so I just kinda...dunno, I figured I could show you a good time, if you catch my meaning.”
“Wait, O’Neill.” Diana said. “Are we talking about a crush or, ah...intercourse? Because those are two very different emotions.”
“First of all, don’t say intercourse. And second, with you it’d probably just be like...light hearted hate sex, but with her it’s like a one night stand and we wait until morning to see where it goes. We could, but we also might not, it all depends on her catching feelings for me.”
“I’m unsure how I feel about that.”
“Well, there it is. Look, it’s not like a hate hate sex, but it is definitely like...it would just be a physical thing. It’s a total friends with benefits situation to get the rocks off and nothing more.”
“I…” Diana seemed slightly uncomfortable.
Hannah nodded. “I get that.”
Diana turned. “Why are you allowing your girlfriend to talk about having an intimate relationship with me?”
“Because she’s right.”
Lotte laughed lightly, her voice almost like a song, utterly unfiltered by any social stigma. “Hey, Sucy, remember how we used to gossip about Akko while she was in detention?”
“Why are you putting that out there…?”
Akko couldn’t believe what she was hearing right now. “You...you gossiped about me? Sucy gossipped.”
“W-wellll, no it was mostly me. I...I had it bad for a little while there.”
Akko’s head cocked. “...huh whuh?”
“You were just...sooo encouraging, and- and passionate, and determined. And oh my gosh, no personal space. I would look over at you, and my heart would just start beating…Oh, I thought you could’ve been my pixie girlfriend...”
“I- I don’t even know what that means!”
“I-It’s a bit of a...outdated trope. Sexist. I felt bad for thinking it. But then your face would be so close to mine and you’d take us on an adventure, and I’d just...blush like a romance heroine…”
Akko flopped back down into her seat, attempting to process all of this. Sucy, Amanda, Lotte, and Diana. Four of her absolute closest friends had crushed on her, and she had no idea. Was Sucy holding the memory of where they first met so dear to her heart not just...happiness at having a new friend? And Amanda, wasn’t it a totally platonic thing that the only reason she stayed in school was to remain friends? It wasn’t that weird. She just needed a minute to think about this, and she’d be-
Jasminka, whose hunger demon prevented the truth potion from actually doing anything but make her cravings more explicit, grinned widely. “We had dinner dates.”
Akko fell from her chair.
“Huh?!” She cried, pushing herself up from the dirt.
“I just thought we were all talking about our feelings for Akko.”
Diana couldn’t hide her surprise. “You dated? You and Akko? When was this, exactly?”
“The first summer vacation.” Jasminka answered. “You kept bringing me ingredients, and we had dinner together every Saturday. Remember?”
“T-those were dates?!”
“...I must say,” Diana mused into her glass, “it’s a great comfort to know she was always like this.”
Akko was suddenly feeling very conscious of the fact that her own girlfriend was still sitting next to her. “Don’t freak out, Diana! It’s not like that at all!”
Diana raised a brow. “I am not freaking out. As I said, it’s fine.”
“I thought it was just a friend thing! Like we just have dinner in her room, and I nap on her bed, and we share bits off each other’s forks. It was just friend stuff!”
“...you did what?”
“Don’t try to tell me you don’t do that stuff with your friends! I used to do it with Lotte all the time when we got dessert together.”
Lotte rubbed the back of her neck. “Y-yeah uh...you feeding me cake by fork was…another reason I had a crush on you.”
Jasminka laughed to herself. “I was very saaaad to think you might be straight. I asked Amanda if you were. She didn’t even answer me~”
“For the sake of fairness,” Diana replied, “it’s difficult to tell sometimes. She hated me and she still felt the need to follow me home and ensure I wouldn’t leave her.”
Amanda nodded. “Same, same.”
Constanze grunted in agreement too, considering Akko had broken into her lab despite a gun being waved in her face.
Akko felt the need to protect what little of her honor remained. “Hey, I was trying to make sure you didn’t give up on what’s important to you! If a dream is precious to you, then it’s precious to me!”
Hannah pointed. “See? That right there. That exact attitude is why I had to spend like two weeks convincing Diana that she wasn’t crushing on a straight girl.”
“But- but all that stuff is normal! Like of course I know where my friends live, and about their hobbies! And why is it so weird to hug your friend or hold their hands or anything?! That can be just friend stuff!”
“You were going to kiss me.” Sucy deadpanned.
“Yeah, and-? It might’ve been a dream!”
“You dreamt about kissing me.”
Akko’s blush grew even hotter. “So what?! Like, it wasn’t a romantic kiss, it was a saving your life kiss! You’re super important to me, Sucy! I would never let anything happen to you!”
Hannah smirked. “You’re kind of a menace to girls who like girls, Akko.”
“Wh- but-! I don’t mean to be! How am I a menace!”
No one seemed willing to answer, and more than a few seemed unwilling to meet her eyes. Constanze just quietly shook her head.
Barbara muttered, but not quiet enough. “I’ll drink to that , Han…”
“Ba-” Akko blinked. “Barbara?! No! No! You bullied me!”
Barbara could not meet her gaze. “Okay okay okay, listen. Like we had fought, you had literally sat on top of me and you had your fingers in my mouth. I just...I was already so repressed and- oh my god I can’t believe I’m saying this.”
Lotte glanced away. “She’s kinda into that.”
Barbara was horrified. “Lotte!”
“S-sorry! I’m sorry! I swear it’s the potion, I’m so sorry!”
“Why is no one else surprised?! Did all of you know about this?! Do you know how much self-confidence this could’ve given me that first year?”
“I don’t believe you needed more self-confidence that first year,” Diana said.
“Fine yeah, okay. So yes I’m super stoked about having the hottest girlfriend in school-“ Akko immediately bit her lip. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to be objectifying, Diana.”
“I don’t mind you objectifying me.”
Amanda began to cackle.
Diana’s pale skin immediately began to color. “N-no. No no. That was...that was the potion. That was the potion! Don’t take that out of context!”
Sucy and Constanze shared an annoyed, asexual glance.
Akko (now equipped with a brand new plastic cup!) poured herself a drink with a small huff and immediately downed it. And immediately, regretted it. Maybe it had slipped her mind that this was not actually alcoholic, but to be fair, she had a lot to think about right now, okay?
“At least with you…!” Akko started, puckering her lips at the aftertaste, “I knew you had a crush beforehand! The amount of people who I knew liked me just tripled! Or...whatever times 6 is! Sixeled? I don’t know, who else could’ve even had feelings for me at this point?!”
Diana looked at her. Amanda laughed. Akko looked back. Amanda continued to laugh.
With a very quiet breath, Diana arched just slightly forward on her seat. “...Do you remember Rashimi?”
“The girl who graduated last year? Wait. No, don’t tell me.”
Diana told her anyway. “She asked me for advice on how to get closer to you, and that had been the week I was planning to confess so I…”
Diana wanted to lie. The burning sensation on her tongue put a stop to it.
“I lied and told her you were taken.”
“Oh my god.”
I- I knew it was wrong! But...I wanted a chance to be with you, and I had been anxious that someone else could take you- Not take you, obviously you’re not a prize, I mean I do think I won with you but-”
“Oh my god!”
Amanda was practically falling out of her chair. “What’s wrong with you, Diana, holy Christ!”
“It’s the potion…” Diana mumbled.
“Oooh, objectify me Akko! You’re so dashing! Pop me from my repressed bubble into the wet and wild world of lesbianism! I’m so ready , Akko! Don’t hold back!”
“That is enough, thank you.”
“Like no wonder you’re the only one here who managed to sleep with her! I’m just shocked you didn’t call it intercourse again!”
“T-that is none of your business! Our sex life is very productive and one of the highlights of my- oh Beatrix what am I saying?”
“No, no. Go on then. What other horrible little secrets are you going to let slip tonight? Tell us how Diana plots a course for intercourse!”
Diana’s face contorted in frustration that, quite literally, could not be concealed even if she wanted it to. Her cheeks were a bright red. Akko would’ve figured she would bite her lip and refuse to speak out of spite, like she often did.
And then Diana did the closest thing Truth Potion Shots had to vehicular homocide.
“Take a shot if you’re a top.”
Meeting her glare with a harsh scoff, Amanda brought the glass to her lips. She tilted the glass, but just as she was about to drink, her hand seemed to freeze. The coven watched, with bated breath, Amanda’s entire arm shake as she tried to force herself to move just the scant millimeters it would take.
But, even when attempting to use her entire other arm, to push it in, the potion was having none of it.
“F-fuck you.” Amanda sputtered, slamming her glass down. “Fuck you! You’re not drinking either, you fucking asshole.”
“If I must blow a hole into my own ship to sink a crewmate, then so be it,” Diana replied evenly.
Only a few girls actually took a drink that round (Akko didn’t really pay attention to who, both still reassessing her entire life and wincing from the new burn in her throat) but it was clear afterwards that Hannah was absolutely miserable.
“God,” Hannah groaned. “I can’t believe you used that, Diana! I told you that in confidence!”
Amanda whipped around. “Why the hell would tell-?!”
“I gossip! You know I gossip! I had to tell someone after our first time, or I would’ve died!”
“In all fairness, I hadn’t actually wanted to hear any of that at all,” Diana replied. “Er, that...came out harshly. That isn’t how I would’ve liked to-”
“Really?” Hannah snapped.
“Really?!” Amanda snapped harder. It was not clear at who.
Diana held her hands up. “I do value hearing about your day, even if it is about your utterly perplexing lifestyle. Wait, oh goodness, I’m so sorry. That was not at all how-”
“Omigod, lifestyle?!”
“I-it’s the potion! I would never phrase it so harshly to your face. N-not that I...that is to say-!”
“Because the last thing I needed was fucking Cavendish saying I’m a pillow princess!” Amanda slapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh shit.”
Before anyone could even process the series of words that had just been unleashed, Lotte leapt to her defense. “It’s fiiiine. I never judged you for it, and Diana will do the same.”
Naturally, the statement had the exact opposite effect. “What the hell, Lotte! We agreed we weren’t ever going to-!”
“Sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to- I swear it-!”
Diana stood up. “Alright, hold on! Let’s all calm down. There’s no need to get agitated.”
Everyone silently slunk back into their seats. The fire crackled in the center. After a moment, Diana let out a vindicated sniff.
“So…” Akko traced the rim of her cup again. “You and Lotte? How’d that happen?”
“Ah geez, it was just…it was one of those fuck around and find out kinda things, you know? You know how I just…flirt for fun, and then one day, Lotte just…”
“Called your bluff?”
“Basically, yeah.” Amanda shrugged. “We didn’t date or nothing. It was just a fling. We tried it out, had a good time, and decided to just be friends.”
“I didn’t have any regrets,” Lotte agreed. “I think we both just wanted to see, and, well, yeah.”
Barbara nodded. “It’s funny how confident Lotte gets in these situations. You wouldn’t expect it.”
Lotte blushed. “Oh stoooooppp.”
A few other people made faces of agreement, which seemed…odd, but at the end of the day, Lotte had taken a potion shot on Diana’s round. Feeling calmer, Akko looked at Amanda with a small smile.
“That’s pretty valid. I’m glad you guys are both cool with each other!”
“Mhmm.” Amanda returned the smile.
Akko said, “When did this happen, by the way? Er, I guess that’s a little personal, but I just can’t think of when you two hung out together!”
Amanda shrugged. “Oh, couple years ago. it was the weekend when Diana left and you were gone.”
A beat passed.
“You fucked my roommate while I was at Diana’s?!”
“Language!”
“No Diana! They were doing the nasty while you were getting choked!”
Hannah also choked. “Diana was getting what?”
“Not like that!”
“Wait, what?” Diana frowned. “Hannah, why would you assume-?”
“Lotte, how many people here have you-?”
“Five. I mean oh gosh why did-?”
“Stop talking about Lotte fucking while I’m talking about Diana being choked in her basement!”
“Please don’t phrase it like that.”
“No, listen! It was so normal, there was this big snake-!”
“Gross.”
“Shut up Sucy she would never call it that. Anyway it was a big, thick-!”
“Call what? E-excuse me?”
“Diana no it’s not-!”
“Jesus Christ, Akko…”
“What?!”
“You know what.”
“No, I don’t!”
Hannah sighed, pinched the bridge of her nose. “This is just getting embarrassing…”
Barbara nodded. “And awkward. Who’s idea was this anyway?”
Akko jumped to her feet, knocking her chair to the ground in the process. “Okay, no! No one change the subject anymore, did anyone else have a crush on me and never say anything?!”
The nine of them all exchanged silent glances. One by one, every single hand in that yard, save for Akko’s, rised. Some more ashamed than others, and some not even bothering to hide it, but as more and more hands went up, Akko’s jaw dropped more and more down.
And then, at the end of everything, Constanze wriggled her hand in a noncommittal, ‘more or less’ kind of way.
“What the fuck?!”