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I sat in the waiting room of the doctor’s office with Sam to my left. He was gripping my hand and bouncing his leg.
Dean to my right flipping through a pregnancy magazine but checking out all the pregnant women, seeing if any of them were there alone and had the potential to be single.
I leaned into Sam and tried to keep my breathing steady. His thumb traced over my hand as he leaned in and kissed my head.
"Winchester?" The nurse called out and Sam pulled me into the back office.
Everything felt like a dream, my head was fogged over as I went through all the tests and stepped on a scale. Sam waited outside of the changing room for me as i stripped down into a hospital gown.
We were in a low lit room with a technician and a monitor. There was a probe inside of me and one on my belly. We listened to the machine whirl and gurgle as the technician scanned my belly. Sam’s fingers laced with mine and kissed my cheek.
“Okay, so this is your little bundle of joy.” The tech smiled up at me as her finger extended to the screen and pointed out a small apricot thing on the screen.
“What is the other void space thing?” Sam asked pointing to the other black and grey oval on the screen. The tech moved the doppler and the space disappeared. The doppler was placed back into it’s holder and the tech typed things up on a computer. I heard the words from the tech coming out but they didn’t translate into words. I stared at the screen
with the thought of everything I was going to give up but going to gain from this. The room swirled around my head as I got off from the table. I was ushered out of the room with
Sam and into a different room. Pages printed out as the tech sent me out of the room to change.
Sam waited outside the changing room with the sonograms in hand. I could hear him tittering, his weight shuffling on the floor and the paper fanning in his hands.
“You gonna make it there?” I asked Sam as I pulled my shirt overhead and pushed the curtain back as I stepped out.
Sam wore a grin that could have been a mile wide. He stuffed the papers in his pocket and wrapped me in his arms. My feet left the ground as he squeezed me and huffed air across my ear.
“I'm gonna be a father.” Sam whispered before setting me down. Sam handed me the paper and kissed my forehead.
We strolled out to greet Dean who was grinning at us.
“Is it a cat?” Dean asked taking the paper from Sam as we made our way towards the exit. Dean asked a million questions as we rode down in the elevator to the garage.
“Did you catch that?” Dean said pointing to the print at the top of the photo.
Sam leaned in and smirked.
“Babies rarely come out on their due date.” Sam replied with a hint of irritation.
“What?” I asked pushing between the two boys.
“Looks like we are having a pumpkin!” Dean cheered as he put a hand on my belly. He scooped me up as he laughed out loud.
“Dean! Put her down!” Sam hissed as he slapped Dean’s shoulder.
“You should name her something spooky!”Dean crooned as he set me down in front of the Impala, “Morticia? Drucilla?”
“Shut up Dean.” Sam grumbled.
“What if it’s a boy?” I questioned.
“Ha! Sam has girly sperm.” Dean laughed as he opened the door for me.
“Shut up, Dean!” Sam hissed as he shut my door then sat in the passenger seat. Dean slipped behind the wheel and looked back at me.
"Halloween! Guys, my niece is going to be born on HALLOWEEN" Dean cackled and slapped his leg before putting the keys in the ignition.
"Dean! Just shut up!" Sam growled as he gripped the papers in his hand tighter.
"I'm sorry! But the irony!” Dean sighed as he shook his head and put the car in reverse.
“It could be fun, Sammy?” I said running fingers through his hair then kissed the back of his neck.
“You know how I feel about Halloween.” Sam said stiffly.
“Maybe little Raven could change your mind?” I said grinning at him as he rolled his eyes.
“Buckle up.” He replied back as Dean cackled out and slapped the steering wheel.
The smell of coffee wafted through the hall of the bunker and lured me out of sleep. I stretched and yawned letting my hand scan the sheets to find Sam wasn’t there. I sat up slowly and looked around the room. His watch was gone and so was his phone. I slowly rolled to the edge of the bed and placed my feet on the ground.
The day had just begun and my feet already hurt. I felt like I was the size of Mercury as I rose to my feet. Time had flown by in what felt like a blink of an eye, the last few months had been hell. Morning sickness and all the growing pains that accompanied being pregnant and now at six month pregnant, I felt like I was the size of a humpback whale.
I grabbed my leggings and a shirt that I claimed of Sam’s then made my way into the hall. I moved carefully through the quiet corridors until I reached the kitchen. Sam was hunched over a yellow legal pad and Dean was sitting across from him with a cup of coffee in his hands.
“I dunno, Sam.” Dean said quietly, “I think you will be just fine. You got me and her. Plus Cas can help out as much as he can.”
“This isn’t like keeping a plant alive, Dean.” Sam replied sounding frazzled, “This is a person.”
“Maybe, I’m not the one you should be having the conversation with… maybe this is more suited for you and her.” Dean suggested.
“No, she’s already having doubts about doing this and I don’t wanna make her freak out.” Sam said sharply.
I took the pause in the conversation to step in. Dean straightened up and bumped the notepad. Sam turned and smiled wide at me.
“Morning beautiful!” Sam said as he shifted in his seat. I felt the familiar flutter and a strange jump in my belly as he spoke. The feeling made my smile even though I was trying to
be stoic.
“Hi. You two are up early.” I commented.
“We put the crib together and went on a food run.” Dean commented as he rose from the table, “You hungry? I can make you something.”
“I’m fine.” I said softly as I touched his arm. He nodded and patted my shoulder. He strolled past me and disappeared into the bunker. I made tea then took Dean’s seat. My eyes
skimmed the page but the words were blurry then looked up at Sam. I gave him an innocent smile.
“You’re working aren’t you?” I asked him as I rested my chin into the palm of my hand.
“No.”
“Then what is that?” I asked as I tapped the page.
“You read it.” He replied with a flat tone, sliding the notepad to me.
“It’s uh… I couldn’t make out the words.” I said softly with the feeling of shame in my voice.
“It’s baby names.” He replied.
“Oh. That’s important.” I smiled up at him then looked down at the page. Ellen was circled and Mary was underlined. There was Robert circled on the page as well. I looked up and smiled at him.
“We are having a girl, why are you thinking Robert?” I asked.
“Dean and I were joking about it actually being a boy.” Sam sighed as he reached over and crossed the name off the paper.
“I like Mary.”
I wanted to ask him about what was bothering him. It was painful to not open my mouth and let the words fall out. But I knew that it was stressful to Sam as much as it was to me.
The idea of being a mother was immobilizing, I would have to give up hunting to raise her. I would have to make sure to keep her protected from all the things that wanted to kill us for what we had done in the past. But I kept it in, I smiled at Sam and read the morning paper.
The boys had taken time off but they still helped as much as they could by answering phone calls and looking for ways to kill things for other hunters. Sam was in the library and Dean was pacing the floor with a phone to his ear arguing with someone named Marshall about killing a monster. The tone of his voice made it very clear that the hunter was an idiot that probably should be eaten by whatever he was hunting but Dean was playing nice.
I had to keep busy in order to keep from going crazy which meant doing housewife things. I had a laundry basket on my hip filled with dirty clothes. I was humming along to a song in my head as I passed by the table stacked with papers and files. I caught sight of images of ghouls with blood red lips.
“Be careful on the stairs.” Sam called after me as I pulled the door open to the basement.
“I’m fine, Sam.” I shouted back as I took the stairs carefully.
“I already have a mother.” I murmured to myself as I reached the basement, placing the basket on a table and sorted out darks and lights. I turned towards the washing machine and felt the world tilt. I gripped the machine and leaned into it.
My legs turned to jello and I dropped to the floor. My ass collided with the cold concrete making me yelp out in pain. My head was spinning as my heart raced. I tried to grip the washing machine but my fingers slid along the smooth varnish of it. I leaned against the machine and took a deep breath, wishing the moment would pass and I would be able to get up. I felt the churning of breakfast and tea in my guts knowing this was going to be bad.
“Help!”I shouted as I closed my eyes and tried to stay calm. The baby fluttered a little then stayed still as if she knew that mom needed her to be relaxed.
I waited for a few more seconds then called out to Sam. I knew that he was going to freak but I needed help. I gritted my teeth as the sound of rushing feet became louder. A set of strong hands touched my arms as Sam dropped to my side.
“What happened?” He asked, his voice was shaking slightly with panic filling his eyes.
“I don’t know.” I replied feeling a wash of unknown sadness hitting me square in the chest. Tears pooled in my eyes as I stared at him. He cupped my head and pulled me close to
him before kissing my forehead.
“Maybe.” Sam started but I cut him off.
“No doctors.” I snipped as tears rolled down my cheek, “I’m fine.”
“I think you should-” Sam tried again this time a little calmer than before.
“No.”
“Okay, okay. Let’s get you up.” Sam offered as he released my head. I nodded and sniffled feeling pathetic.
Sam lifted me off the floor then hauled me up the stairs where he placed me on the couch.
“No more chores for the day, you’re gonna relax.” Sam said firmly, “This isn’t up for debate.”
I nodded even though I wanted to fight back, I knew that I would lose. I shifted down into the cushions and kicked my feet up.
“Dean and I can handle it for the rest of the day.” Sam said as he wrinkled his forehead. He leaned down and kissed me, “Don’t make me lock you up.”
I watched bad daytime television and part of a lifetime movie that was too cheesy to keep my attention. I dozed off and was woken by cold hands touching my face. My eyes shot
open to see Cas staring down at me.
“You say that she has been more clumsy than usual?” He asked. My eyes shot behind him to find Sam with his arms crossed over his chest. Dean was sitting at my feet with a beer in his hands and a stupid smile on his face. I groaned and sat up slowly, I felt movement in my belly shift from one side to the other and the familiar fluttering started.
“Yes. She’s been having trouble seeing too.” Sam commented.
“I’m not a doctor but something smells off.” Cas said scanning my face with his eyes.
“I’m fine.” I growled.
“I just wanna make sure my little pumpkin is gonna be okay. What is going on, Cas!” Sam’s voice was filled with fear. I stared back at the angel as he touched my belly. His blue eyes squinting then something flickered in them.
“Pumpkins.” Cas said with a smile.
“What?” Sam replied confused.
“Your ‘little pumpkins’ are fine. Both of them.” Cas said looking back to Sam then to me.
"What do you mean both?" Sam and I both croaked.
"I'm saying that you are having twins." Castiel’s voice was thick with annoyance.
Twins.
The realization sunk like a stone in my stomach. I stared up at Sam whose bright eyes were wide with shock. My throat went dry as I looked at Dean who was just as shocked as us.
“Twins.” Dean said breaking the silence between us.
“That’s what I said.” Cas growled, “She’s dehydrated, she needs electrolytes.”
“But… I mean.” I sputtered as I ran a hand over my belly.
“You’re sure of… I mean.” Sam said as he ran his hand over his chin and shook his head, “Twins? Two babies?”
Cas looked up at Sam with a deadly look, he placed his hand on my belly. My body felt cool all over as Cas closed his eyes. There was a peaceful tingle that slowly rolled across my belly.
“There are two heartbeats.” Cas said as he looked up at me, “Strong heartbeats too.”
“Girls?” Dean asked as he leaned forward, “We all know it’s two girls.”
“Can it Dean.” Sam snipped, “But, can you tell?”
“No. I’m not a doctor. But she smells like there is going to be at least one girl.” Cas said as he rose to his feet.
“I smell?” I snapped and pulled my legs up as a shield.
“It’s not a bad smell. More like the way roses smell in the sun… sometimes it reminds me of fresh cut grass.” Cas stroked my shoulder then turned to Sam.
“There is nothing I can tell that is wrong with her, I don’t know why you three refuse to seek medical help, ever.” Cas groaned.
“That’s why we have you, Cassie.” I said smiling. I slowly pushed myself up and off the couch. Dean placed a hand on my lower back and helped me up.
“I’m not a doctor.”
“You’re better than a doctor.” I replied hugging him, “You’re their guardian angel slash uncle.”
He patted my back then relaxed in my arms.
I pulled away then smiled at him. I slowly moved away from the boys and headed for the hallway.
“Where are you going?” Sam’s voice was firm.
“Bathroom. Wanna help?” I called back as I moved for the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and leaned against the sink. Anxiety was clenching at my heart and lungs as my
eyes filled with tears. I moved on shaky legs and sat on the edge of the bath tub.
I already was terrified to have one baby in this life. But now two, two small helpless people and I had to protect them against all the monsters. I couldn't do this. This was too much. I let out a sob as the tears rolled down my face.
I let myself cry until a knock on the door nearly made me jump out of my skin. I slowly rose and wiped my face. I stared in the mirror, seeing the red nose and splotchy
complexion over my cheeks.
“Yeah.”
“I’m coming in.” Dean’s voice was rough as the door squeaked. He gave me a warm smile before he wrapped arms around me, “So, these are happy tears?”
I shook my head.
“Talk to me.”
I shook my head again and sniffled against his shirt.
“Let me guess… you’re freaked out about having twins. Raising kids in this life feels like you are putting these babies in the line of fire?” Dean asked as he stroked my back, “I’ll
tell you the same thing I told Sammy.”
I looked up at Dean and sniffled.
“As long as I am around. As long as Sam and you are around… hell even Cas, those babies will always be safe.” Dean smiled warmly, “I mean, I practically raised Sam on the road
and in motel rooms… he turned out alright.”
I laughed and nodded, “What if I screw this up?”
“You won’t.”
Dean grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the bathroom even though I protested. He walked to Sam who was sitting on the couch, resting on his elbows on the tops of his knees. I could see the stress radiating off his back.
"Talk to him." Dean whispered in my ear as he pushed my shoulder and sent me to Sam.
I moved painfully slow towards him then sat beside him. He inhaled sharply as he flinched then relaxed beside me.
"Hey baby." Sam leaned in and kissed me gently on the cheek. He ran his hand over my back and kissed me again.
"We are gonna be okay." I smiled and nodded at him.
"I know."
"You're gonna be an amazing father." I grabbed his hand then placed it over my belly. I could feel the babies flutter under my skin.
"I don't want to fuck this up."
"I won't let you." I grinned as he stroked my belly.
The season were changing and it was beginning to get cold as the night grew longer. My body had become something I didn't recognize, my stomach was stretched to capacity. My feet and back ached as though I was holding the world on my shoulders. In all reality, the weight of Sam's world was on my shoulders with these little girls in my
belly.
I was lucky, the pregnancy was going to full term even though my last month was to be spent off my feet. Sam made sure that I was limited to what I could do. If I wasn't showering or moving from our bed to the couch, I couldn't do it. Even in my limited state, I begged Sam and Dean to decorate the bunker in Halloween decor. Dean had filled the place with paper bats, candles and pumpkins. It was a macabre decoration that made my heart flutter.
I was sleeping soundly on my side with Sam behind me. He was curled tightly around my with his arm draping on my belly, his fingertips barely grazing my skin. In my dreams I was fighting a nest of vampires, they were slashing and scrambling to get at our daughters. Their skin was a chalky white color with blue veins just below the surface. The mouths of the monsters were stained red with sharp fangs glistening as they snapped at me.
One of the vampire's mangled claws latched into my skin and ripped open my belly. The pain seared down my legs to my feet as I cried out. There was the strange sensation of popping and crackling in my ears as my legs grew damp and warm.
"Babe!" Sam's voice was in my ear with panic filling his words.
I snorted and rubbed my eyes as I woke up. I sat up slow and felt the pain between my legs nearly knocking me back.
"I think you peed the bed."
"No!" I called out and gripped the sheets, "no, no, no."
"Baby, what?" Sam asked gripping my arms as he slid across the bed.
"Babies." I whimpered and gripped my belly as another wave of pain hit me.
"Are they?" Sam asked with a quivering voice, "Is it time?"
I nodded vigorously as my heart hammered harder. Sam sprang out of bed and rushed around to my side. He pulled my legs over the edge of the bed. Sam grinned as he pulled me upright.
"Sammy." I said breathlessly, "I can't go... in wet clothes."
"Oh yeah!" Sam laughed and scurried to the dresser. He pushed clothing around in a drawer and found dry things for me to wear.
After helping me dress and waking up Dean, we sped to the hospital. I was prepped and put into a room to wait for the contractions to grow closer together. It took hours for it to happen, each contractions growing more painful each time. Sam stayed with me the entire time, he paced and checked on me then chewed on his nails as he nervously paced more.
At 4 am on October 31st, Mary Annette and Charlotte Amelia Winchester came into the world shouting. Both girls were healthy, Mary was 6 pounds 8 ounces while Charlotte was 5 pounds 3 ounces and perfect. I couldn't help but feel thrilled at the idea of them being in my arms, even though I was physically exhausted.
"Let me hold them. You need sleep baby." Sam said softly as he stroked my forehead with his fingertips.
"I'm sorry that I told you I hated you." I whispered as I stared down at the little faces of our girls. I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep my eyes open for long.
"It's okay." His voice was melodic as he touched Charlotte's head. His hands slipped under her and lifter her from my arms.
"Be careful with Charlie." I whispered as Dean slipped into the room. He was at my side and taking Mary from my arms. I felt a pang of panic settle in my chest but I let it melt away.
I listened to the boys quietly cooing over my girls.
"You are gonna be a great dad." Dean said softly.
"God, I hope so." Sam scoffed.
"Be patience and kind but firm with them. Make sure that they have what they need before you and always hug them... when you were little, you were a hugger." Dean said with a
chuckle.
"Dad probably loved that."
"Yeah. He did." Dean said with no humor in his voice, "Dad would be really proud of you."
"Yeah, I'm sure he would." Sam said softly as he leaned down and kissed Charlie's head.
"Oh shit. I forgot." Dean said as he shuffled in the room. I peeked out through my lashes to see him pulling out two small packages, "the woman at the costume shop helped me pick them out... and gave me her number."
"What are they?" Sam's voice was hesitant as he turned the package in his hands.
"Baby Halloween costumes." Dean said excitedly, "a little fox and a little lamb!"
"Thanks Dean. She is gonna love it." Sam said softly.
I snuggled down in the uncomfortable hospital bed and let my body relax. I knew my girls were in the best hands and that this was going to be one hell of an adventure. Sam was going to be an amazing dad and Dean was gonna spoil those girls rotten. I didn't know if I was going to be a good mom but I was going to give it my all to give those girls a great life.
Can a couple of hunters raise twin girls? We'll find out.