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Eyes closed, she cradled the warm cup in her hand, and savored the thick dark liquid before swallowing. Beyond tired, the words came forth in a sigh, unbidden by conscious decision, "Someday I want a boyfriend just like you."
Temari heard them with shock, her eyes flew open to see Nara's head still bent over the essays the genin had submitted that day. Maybe he hadn't heard it, after all he was focused on the task at hand. Temari, although not one to shy away from anything, decided not to say anything and focus on the essay in front of her. The minutes ticked by, the comfortable silence she enjoyed while working with Nara evaporated. The air seemed thicker as Temari's brain shed the fog with the help of the coffee Nara had placed before her just minutes ago. It was black with three sugars. Normally she drank coffee in the morning, black coffee, no sugar, no cream. Since she and Nara had been working together for years on the Chunin exams he had convinced her a better boost was to be had by adding sugar. She didn't care for the flavor but it certainly got the job done.
When they decided to change the written portion of the Chunin exams they knew what they were getting into and knew they would pay the price. Demanding each genin write a comprehensive essay detailing a plan of attack based on the strengths of their own team had been the right course of action. It took a lot longer to read through each submission, evaluate the team the genin had come from and decide if the plan was reasonably well thought out, feasible and had a remote chance of success.
It was a challenge but she and Nara had their laughs while working as they shared the most ludicrous "superman" syndrome essays with each other. Nara wasn't sharing now, his head stayed bent reading the essay and drawing diagrams to see if the positions really worked out. He only did that if he was tired otherwise he could visualize with ease.
The silence grew oppressive and finally Temari cracked, "It was the coffee that did it."
Shikamaru didn't raise his head, "I've heard people blame sake but never coffee."
"I'm not blaming the coffee.” Temari gritted her teeth and hissed, “It was kind of you to bring me the coffee just the way I needed it."
"Most people say thank you." Shikamaru kept working on his sketch.
"I did say thank you, ass." Temari ground out.
"That's not all you said." Shikamaru goaded.
"No, Nara, that's not all I said. I said someday I want a boyfriend just like you. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You brought me a cup of coffee because I was tired. I inadvertently expressed a desire to have someone be kind to me.”
“Not just someone. You don’t want a brother like me or a teammate like me. I performed a menial task easily relegated to a servant.” Nara looked up at her finally.
She had been waiting to see his face. His voice was hard to read, it rarely lost its lethargic quality, and the same could be said of his body language. Unless there was a full scale assault, Nara could be read as relaxed. Temari studied him as he leaned back in the chair and wove his fingers behind his head making a show of his relaxation. When she allowed herself to focus, truly focus on his face and eyes she didn’t particularly like what she saw there, tension overlaid with a deliberate slackness. He was in his watchful mode, the one she sometimes called his genius mode and he didn’t want her to know.
She wondered briefly if his thumbs and forefingers were touching behind his head. Temari would not be intimidated, she had nothing to hide, unlike Nara. “What are you doing? Are you trying to psych ME out? Put your hands where I can see them!”
“Tch, woman, what do my hands have to do with this?” Shikamaru leaned forward in the chair and planted his palms on the table in front of her. “Are you satisfied enough to explain your statement?”
“Damn, Nara, don't be a little girl about this. I didn’t declare my undying love. I was in a brain fog and your coffee was just the thing to get me going again. I didn’t think about anything, it just came out.”
“Came out of where?” Shikamaru asked.
“Nowhere!” Temari declared. “It just came out of nowhere.”
“And you call yourself a jonin level shinobi? Unguarded words simply flow forth?”
“What are you getting at Nara? Why don’t you simply tell me what you think it means. Surely by now you have deduced some reason for the slip of my subconscious.” Temari goaded, “Go for it.”
“I saw you losing focus and brought you a simple cup of coffee, the way you should have it. You spoke and it was a slip of your subconscious. You would never have allowed yourself to say that with a focused mind. And you would never have let your guard down unless you trusted me.” Shikamaru paused, “Implicitly.”
Temari didn't argue it but her eyes widened with shock. “Of course I trust you. We have been allies for years, the Leaf and the Sand. We have fought alongside each other many times and worked together for years. I trust you, this is hardly news.” She scoffed a bit to sell it.
“You wouldn’t make the same mistake with Naruto, he is a ninja of the Leaf.” Shikamaru probed.
“Naruto has heart, the most I have ever seen, but he’s basically a moron. If he saw me tired he’d give me a pep talk about my way of the ninja is reading essays. Even if my eyes bleed I must go on ....blah, blah blah.” Temari turned a crooked smile on Shikamaru.
He responded, with a short chuckle. “You wouldn’t get Naruto within ten feet of this place. He’s allergic to the paperwork.”
Temari laughed more than called for, then announced, “Let’s get back to work. I do trust you Nara more than most.”
“I’d wager you trust me absolutely; more than anyone. This is not a mistake you would allow in front of Kankuro, or even Gaara.”
“Why won’t you let it go?” Temari railed back. She realized the level of comfort and trust she had with him and examined even superficially she knew the bond was deep. Much deeper than she expected. She loved her brothers, had always looked after them even when Gaara was possessed and although Kankuro was never possessed she worried about his sadistic tendencies. They had her loyalty and devotion however in this room with Nara she knew above anyone her shields were down. She wasn’t the Kazekage’s protector and advisor, not a representative of the ruling family of the Sand, nor was she ambassador, she was simply Temari.
“That should be obvious.” Shikamaru taunted.
“You are trying my patience. If you have something to say then say it, otherwise shut the hell up!” Temari’s frustration was rising. This was so unlike Nara.
Shikamaru responded through clenched teeth “You imply that I am not good enough to be your boyfriend.”
“What the hell? Seriously. Have you lost your mind?” Temari stood abruptly and began packing papers away neatly. “You are obviously more tired than I realized. We will finish this tomorrow.” With quick economical movements, her mind now fully alert, Temari departed for the night. She would have to get an earlier start than planned but she had reached her limit and obviously so had Nara. In her room as she settled down for the night, just before sleep overtook the clear thought, her words could only cause offense if Nara wanted to be her boyfriend.
In the morning the thought still plagued her. Nara should have teased her about her slip of the tongue. He should have been laughing and she should have been defensive and unrepentant. She wondered what the extent of his ire was. She always assumed they had a matter of fact working relationship, with some rivalry and a deep bond of friendship. Nara couldn’t have ...she shied away from the thought....feelings for her.
When she walked into the room she wasn’t surprised she had beat Nara in. He always moved slowly in the morning. She set to work on her remaining essays, grabbing her sketch pad, team stats and finally her essay stack which to her surprise was remarkably thin. She hadn’t gotten this far last night, most certainly not. Nara had done her work?
Temari sat heavily on the chair coping with the thought that her easy friendship with Nara was on the cusp of a change she wasn’t looking forward to. A few words slipped past her guard and caused this mess. She gritted her teeth and set to work.
An hour later Temari was finishing analysis on an essay when Nara sulked into the room. “Sit!” Temari barked at him, sparing a momentary glance from the task at hand.
“Tch. I see you’re in your usual sunny mood.” Shikamaru sprawled in the chair as only he could, his back slouched, his legs extended and crossed at the feet and his arm folded on his chest.
“And I wonder what put me in this sunny fantastic mood.” Temari’s short supply of patience had been used up when he came in the room with a sulk, an actual sulk that others could mistake for his general lack of enthusiasm, but she knew better. “Could it be your hissy fit last night? So what gives Nara? Are you hopelessly in love with me?”
Shikamaru chuckled mirthlessly before cutting himself off abruptly. He straightened slowly in his chair, drawing his legs up, leaning forward before planting his hands on the table, getting into Temari’s space.
She didn’t flinch or draw back. She was not going to be intimidated. Their gazes held in the opening what felt like full combat. “I’m not hopeless.” Shikamaru pronounced.
Temari blinked. Stunned beyond comprehension, she tried to muster her bravado to answer in the fearless manner that she liked to think was her trademark but found she could not. She opened her mouth to frame a reply and found no words could come out. She shut her mouth with a snap. Temari was angry with herself, angry at the blankness that enveloped her mind. She stared at Nara, and saw his scowl turn into a smirk.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Temari finally found some words.
“What do you think it means? It means that I am not lacking in hope. There aren’t many ways to interpret my statement.” Nara dragged her stack of essays close, divided the pile into two, keeping half and giving her the remainder. His pen was at the ready and he began to go through the essay on the top as if, Temari thought, that they had been discussing the weather.
She barely resisted the urge to snatch the paper and pen and hurl them across the room. If he wasn’t bothered, why should she be? She picked up her pen and began scanning the paper in front of her. She managed to keep her cool until the essay had been fully dissected and approved before she stated, “So does that mean you are hopefully in love with me?”
Shikamaru raised his head and lifted one eyebrow, “What does that even mean, ‘hopefully in love?’ I know my own mind. It is you who are unsure.”
Temari took a deep breath, slipped her hands under the table and muttered a few words while forming hand signs to dispel the unfortunate genjutsu.
Shikamaru laughed. “This is not an illusion. It will not go away. Many times I have wished for a quick release but I have accepted it. You should as well."
"Accepted it? Wished for release? This is you! It’s not like I have you captive.” Temari declared before plowing back into her work in silence.
Shikamaru had the last words with, “I beg to differ.”
I'm not going to lose sleep over this, she thought for at least the umpteenth time in the last hour before punching the pillow and turning on her side. Was she going to spend the entire night thinking about the mess from today? The clock read 3 a.m. so she expected so. Damn him, she thought for at least the umpteenth plus 1 time. He had to go and ruin a perfectly good friendship with his demands.
Not that he had been demanding, Temari had to admit. After all it's not like he tried to kiss her, ask her out, slung a casual arm across her shoulders or anything of the kind. Shikamaru was capable of discussing his deep abiding love for her, dispassionately as though it was a mission. Not even an exciting mission, a routine escort mission or worse the dreaded crop gathering jobs she had heard him reminisce about with other Konoha nin.
"My regard for you is not a new thing, your knowledge is the variable here. I have made no changes nor will I. How we go on from here is up to you." Temari recalled his face as he spoke, trying to discern a sign she might have missed earlier but there was nothing.
Determined to be equally as cool, she got back to work on her remaining essays. When the work was done and organized, together they posted scores quietly talking about the tasks at hand. Per their custom they had lunch together ignoring the strain until Choji and Ino joined them bringing normalcy which Temari embraced with more spirit than she was prone to. So much spirit that Ino suggested they all go out together the following night. Ino had chortled, "It'll be like a double date," Temari deliberately didn't react, keeping her focus on her ramen bowl. Ino continued, "Except I will entertain Temari-Chan while Choji and Shikamaru hang out. We'll have such fun." Temari didn't think that was likely but she had no other plans and curiosity had her, she wanted to see if Nara would begin to treat her differently.
"It's not a date double or otherwise!" Temari hissed aloud before giving the pillow its umpteenth plus two punches for the evening.
The next evening she was in her visitors quarters preparing for her not a double date outing. Ino made it easy, reminding her that she would escort her that evening and urging her to wear something special. Ino's enthusiasm for what Temari would wear had her giving the limited wardrobe a serious perusal. She was dressing for Ino, not Shikamaru. He wouldn’t notice what she had on and he certainly wouldn’t compliment her. In Ino’s company she sometimes felt her girliness or rather basic female competence was challenged. Her life had not been one that prepared her to be a traditional female. Very few women who chose the ninja way could boast of the arts of allurement yet Ino was one. Temari hemmed and hawed again looking at clothes she packed for ease of movement, comfort and to convey authority over the genin striving to become chunin. In the end she chose the formal kimono packed for those ambassador level visits. It was too much for a drinks evening with friends but she was not going to be outclassed by Ino.
The thought that the kimono accentuated her figure and Shikamaru had never seen her in it never entered her mind. When they met up that evening she didn’t slyly watch from the corner of her eye to see if Nara was looking. Instead she allowed Ino’s over familiar greeting before allowing Ino to tug her off moving two paces ahead of the guys while she gushed over Temari’s clothing and her own. The awkwardness she expected didn’t exist, Ino monopolized her attention, and meeting up with other nin gave truth to the more the merrier. Temari watched Nara more than she ever had, wondering if there would be public evidence of his newly revealed feelings, even a tinge of possession but no, he was as he always was. At the end of the night she didn’t know if that was a relief or a disappointment.
Eventually the chunin exams absorbed her attention, given that Nara treated her as he always did, allowing her to focus on her job and push her questions about Nara to the back of her mind to be pulled out the moment she settled for the night to examine every interaction for deeper meaning. He loved her, he said so but where was the evidence? Did she need evidence? Nara said it and to date he had never lied to her. If he said it that’s what he meant. She would stake her life on it. She couldn’t point to any one tell in his actions. Did he seek her out? She thought on and realized he never had a need to, when she was in Konoha she spent the majority of her time in his company. His easy undemanding company never sought the Kazekage's favor through her, he was never fearful of her or her family. He frequently called her troublesome but he was at all times genuine. In a groan for her friend it occurred to her that he had no clue how to woo a woman.
It was her final day there before she broached the subject again. She initially decided to wait until he escorted her to the gates in the morning, as was his custom, but she would not take the coward’s way out. She would approach him over the evening meal they customarily shared on her last evening in Konoha.
Their camaraderie was fairly good throughout the meal. There were a few days in which she could feel the strain on their relationship from Shikamaru’s hissy fit. Tonight was not one of those nights. They discussed the Chunin exams, sort of a debriefing and critique of their own performance. As the last dish was cleared away Nara leaned back in chair and gestured with long fingers to the table, “The floor is yours. Go.”
Temari didn’t demure, “You confuse me. You declare your love and yet not once have you acted upon it. There is no evidence of this love.”
“Have I not conducted our relationship, our comfortable yet highly successful working relationship on the same grounds as always? Have I made any demands that would make you feel awkward? I would say the evidence is that despite how I feel, I have not made you bear the burden of my emotions.”
“You are oh so clever and kind, or are you just scared of rejection?” Temari sipped the sake before her, not so much for liquid courage but to cover the impact his words had upon her.
“What man would not fear rejection from his beloved? This is natural, there is no ninja training that teaches the heart to be unaffected by the source of infinite joy or infinite pain.”
Reaching for the sake saved her the last time. How would she hide her reaction to being called his beloved? The word seemed to dance down her spine and lodge in the pit of her stomach. His beloved. She didn’t come to hide, Temari looked into his eyes expecting the same laconic Shika or at least carefully assessing Shikamaru and instead found herself the focus of a dark intense gaze that bored into her soul. As a nin she had been treated to a host of mind tricks but nothing like this. She wanted to break it off but the staring contest had started and she was not going to be the one to look away first. A part of her mentally kicked her butt. She had wanted to see something and there it was, the windows to his soul were wide open.
She prevented the gasp that wanted to escape. She knew her eyes would betray her surprise, yet none of her fear that she had awakened something in a dear friend that she wished she could put away. She wanted to turn back to their simple friendship but life had taught Temari, simpler times never return, life becomes increasingly more complex, tangled and difficult. One rolled with the punches or delivered the blows. She wasn't rolling for anyone.
Shikamaru Nara was in love with her and she wasn't going to be cowed by it. She soaked up his energy, she fed off it. His dark gaze touched her, stirred something deeply passionate, that she wasn’t truly aware of before this moment. It radiated from a trembling in her tummy, traveling low she felt heated and heavy with longing. Her finger itched to simply reach out and touch his hand just to feel his flesh connected to hers. Her senses threatened to overwhelm her but she didn’t break the gaze.
She spoke first, laying out her plans like a mission, “We should leave. We should walk quickly back to my quarters, like we have done so many times before. On the way there, before we leave the commercial district, I’m going to drag you into the alley between the barbeque place and the hospital and kiss you senseless.” He flinched. She took this as victory and downed the tiny cup of sake in front of her. She smiled what she hoped was sultry with a predatory gleam in her eye. When we get to my quarters, you will say goodnight to me at the door, per custom. Since you are ninja, I will expect you through the window and into my room before I’ve turned around from shutting the door.”
Temari leaned in to Shikamaru studying his face. She knew his face so well. In matters of life and death she had read that face in a mere glance to take action first and ask questions later. Over the past several weeks she had looked at it many times to try to understand their new situation but tonight she felt she was seeing it for the first time. She wanted to trace the outline of his face and feather her fingers across his brows, skim his cheekbones and kiss just the tip of his nose. She didn’t know why she felt that way. In the surge of raw passion she also felt an affection for the boy she saw grow into a man. He was right there, his hands no more than six inches in front of her and she was afraid to touch them so much as touch them because once the first touch was made there would be no stopping.
In this very public place she suddenly felt exposed, but daring. She quickly took in the room and whispered for Shikamaru’s ears only, “When we are finally alone in my room we can explore every fantasy, every naked fantasy you’ve had of me.” She had been unsure what to say. She was a warrior, an ambassador, a princess and more importantly Gaara’s sister. A seduction mission was far beneath her, a minor flirtation much less a suitor too much of a risk for any boy or man. Her life was too serious to allow for a frivolity like romance, much less sex. She knew how the parts worked and she speculated that she and Nara would be amazing together.
“You would put yourself in my hands for every fantasy, I have of you?”
“We already established that I trust you.”
“I too, think we should leave,” Shikamaru spoke and Temari flushed with heat, this was really happening, but he made no move. “I think I should stand and extend to you my hand to help you stand, not because you need assistance but because a man should do this for the woman he loves. You should continue to hold my hand simply because you want to. You should allow me to pay because I wish to care for you. I would like to leave hand in hand with you. I would like to walk along the street talking and laughing with you and perhaps pulling you close when the urge is too strong to resist to kiss you quickly, but in an unmistakable lover’s embrace so any passerby knows you are the woman I love.”
Temari gasped. She didn’t mean to but when he spoke of his love it still had the power to surprise her. He gripped her hand that was exposed on the table and wrapped it in both of his. The passion that rose from her core was checked by the emotion radiating from her chest when she was again pinned by his gaze. “I wish to escort you to my home in the Nara compound. It is late, but not so late that my mother would not greet you. She will welcome you into our home and greet you politely and ask me bluntly, “Is this to be my daughter? This is Temari of the Sand, is it not? This is the woman.” You may be shocked by the singularity, but for me there is but one.”
Temari was shocked and she knew it showed but she was beyond ...beyond everything.
He answered her unasked question, “My parents became aware of my feelings for you. I could not hide from them and although they teased me, I was not embarrassed to have fallen in love with you.”
“It was a secret you kept well.” She reminded him.
“I did not wish to embarrass you. You are three years my senior. It is almost a given that I would become infatuated and I did. I waited for it to pass and year by year it did not, it grew.”
Temari closed her eyes to simply be alone in her head. This lazy, crybaby of a boy had taken her all over the emotional spectrum tonight. His hand stroked hers, soothing her and she reminded herself that he was no longer a boy, but a man telling her he loved and wished to spend his life with her. It was not a rush of hormones, it was carefully considered. She had offered him the night and she knew he was offering her his life. She shook her head and opened her eyes slowly, “Nara...Shikamaru...I can’t.....”
His grip slackened but he didn’t release her hand. “It’s okay. I wanted you to know how I felt. I cannot be secret or furtive with you. At all times I must honor you.”
Temari gritted her teeth and exclaimed, “Get out of my head.” She punched her pillow and flipped herself over in the bed from her back to her stomach. She was no longer in her quarters in Konoha, but her own bed in her own home in Suna, but the Leaf was very much on her mind. Why did Shikamaru have to ruin their perfectly good friendship with his demands? And again she has to remind herself that he has made no demands. He did not demand she take his hand publicly as they left the restaurant. He paid for dinner, he always did. She wondered why he made a point of it. Then she realized why. He wanted her to know he always cared and she had assumed it was his standard chauvinism at play. He had not demanded anything that night and neither did she. She did not pull him into the alley and kiss him senseless. She began to feel that it would be cheap. They did talk and laugh as they walked along the street, mostly laughing at themselves and their predicament. He did not steal a kiss to demonstrate to the world that he loved her. They walked to her quarters, not his home for formal acceptance of their relationship. At her door he said, “Goodnight.” When she closed the door she found her room empty and it remained that way the rest of the night. She awoke early and unrested from another night with her mind full of Nara.
He was there bright and early the next morning to escort her to the gate. He had not slept well and his mind was not at rest. His face showed what she felt. She had said to him, “Can we compromise?” He had replied, “We did last night.”
“You are being unfair,” Temari told him.
“I know.” He said and let the silence linger for the next hundred yards before adding, “I am sorry for that. I have been terribly unfair. I promised not to burden you and I did anyway.”
“Nara...Shikamaru,” she found it difficult to fire off his last name when speaking of something so intimate. “I would rather know than be in blindness. What is hard for me is.....has any of this been real? Has our friendship been real? Do I truly know you?”
He spoke in the languid tones she was used to, “Tch, woman this is the only thing you didn’t know about me. You have fired deadly attacks because of a lift to my eyebrow and taken the notes of a meeting from the slouch of my back. Our friendship is solid and it always will be. That is my oath to you.”
Those words had warmed her heart throughout her journey back to Suna. She was home and she seemed to have no choice but to think of Nara near constantly. Her brothers had noticed the distraction but she was not tempted to confess. She told herself this was normal, given the feelings he revealed. She promised herself not to try to push herself to feel more than she truly felt. Nara, was, she decided her best friend deserved nothing less than a woman who loved him absolutely. If she couldn’t love him like that she would not have him. She wondered what it would be like to see him with one who could return the depths of emotion he had displayed that last evening. To see a woman look at Shikamaru that way would be a good thing she told herself but when she tried to imagine it the image twisted at her gut with instinctive wrongness that saved lives in battle.
She read the clock in dismay, she had a few hours to sleep before rising to make the journey for the Shinobi Union meeting. She would be seeing Shikamaru tomorrow. Thinking of the long, intense, highly important meeting, Temari couldn’t help but laugh at herself. All she could think of was Shikamaru, when they would hold talks that affected the fate of their nations. She should be restless, but not with nerves of seeing Nara, he would prove to be her biggest ally just as she would be his. That was the best thing about the meetings, walking in knowing his loyalty was hers. At that she rested.
The trip with her delegation was accomplished speedily. When she walked into the meeting room she immediately searched for Nara but was not surprised that she had arrived before him. Before long she was immersed in giving proper greetings to each of the attending representatives of the nations. He found her instead, greeting her with the familiarity not many others in the room shared. “Oi, Temari.”
She turned and her question, would things between them ever be the same was answered, no. She didn’t know how to prevent the silly grin that spread on her face and the simple joy in his eyes. He was happy to see her and despite herself it made her happy too.
And this is why they could never have a secret relationship. If they were ordinary citizens perhaps a secret relationship would work. Even if they were regular shinobi maybe they would stand a chance, but she was the Kazekage’s sister and he was the Nara heir and vitally important to the Shinobi Union. In this room of the most skilled information gatherers in the five lands their affection would be noted. They were known to be allies, they were known as comrades even and if they had begun anything like Temari had suggested, the shinobi in this room would have picked up on the shift of the relationship. It would be viewed as a direct show of disrespect to the Kazekage by Shikamaru. Dallying with Kazekage’s sister could threaten the peace of the nations still recovering from a devastating war. She knew Nara had already thought about this.
Her welcoming smile faded with the heavy realization that it would be all or nothing. “Hey, don’t look so glum, the caseload for distribution won’t be that hard to go through.” Nara prodded her.
Even now she noticed others listening and chose her words, “You confuse me for you, lazy ass. I do not mind the work.” Her words reflected their long standing comradery and not her suppressed thought of what kind of greeting they could have had. If he was hers she could have hugged him after waiting a month to see him. She could now be making plans on where they would get lunch.
“True. I’ve had a chance to study so this should be fairly painless.”
She quirked her brow at that, “Painless for me,” he answered.
“How long did you study to make this part painless?” She probed, thinking painless was the word he used to substitute pointless. He couldn’t stand talking in circles. His genius while widely acknowledged, still required sacrifice. Did no one else see how much work he put in prior to the meetings to be prepared to direct the flow with well thought out reasoning? It didn’t always make him right, but demanded that dissenters have the same thoroughness in their approach. In this way Shikamaru made the Union better and she was proud of him.
“Doesn’t matter,” he shrugged. “I have to head back to Konoha today so getting through this meeting quickly is necessary.”
“Is everything okay in Konoha?” Temari, asked in alarm. Konoha was a second home that threatened to become her first.
His expression was pained, but he only said, “Nah, just the usual duties and responsibilities. I have some ...Nara clan work to attend to.”
She felt the lie and it wounded her to think he would lie to her. She seated herself at the table and grew angry that he would tell HER of all people a bald faced lie. She nevertheless proved to be his ally throughout the morning session, dissenting only once directly for Temari was a formidable strategist as well. It was not a petty dissent meant to show him her displeasure, assigning the right nation and team to the right mission meant life or death and she wouldn’t dare influence that based on a whim.
Nara appeared at her elbow to escort her to the local barbecue place for lunch, as per their custom. Why had she even thought about lunch plans? When did she ever come to these meetings and not have breakfast, lunch and dinner with him? Someday she wanted a boyfriend like him? Seems like she’d had one for years and his name was Nara Shikamaru.
“Why do we always come here for lunch?” Temari asked after they sat down at the table and meat was already cooking on the grill.
“Barbeque is Choji’s favorite.” Shikamaru replied expertly flipping a piece. “It’s become a habit.”
“Like us?”
“Perhaps. Not all habits are bad.” He didn’t look up, simply continuing to flip the meat, his pieces as well as hers. She realized this was another one of their habits. He criticized her technique claiming she overcooked meat. At the time Nara was missing his best friend Choji who had been off on back to back missions. She had allowed it, envying his close ties. As much as she envied them, she rarely noticed the close ties she had to him.
“I like us, the way we have been. This new us, I’m not so sure about.” Temari shared.
“Understood.”
“Is that all you have to say about it?” Temari questioned.
“What else is there to say?” Shikamaru looked up from the grill. “This new us just is. I said something I can't take back. I jeopardized our friendship because I was overtired and became upset that you didn't see me as more than a friend when to be fair I never gave you a reason to think I wanted more.”
“How can you be so reasonable about this?" Temari felt her frustration ratchet up. "You turned my world upside down, made me want something I had never thought I could have and now you are simply resigned to our fate?"
One glance and she knew he was. Hadn't that been his plan until he took offense at her words. "That plan doesn't work for me."
"I'm sorry Mari."
Kami, she had such a soft spot for this boy. "Sorry for what? For loving me?"
"No, never that."
"For telling me?" It gave her a thrill to push him. Challenge him to do more than just sit there calmly eating.
“Yes. That. I should not have asked you to see a future we can’t have. It wasn’t fair to you.” Shikamaru gave up any pretense of eating.
“This,” Temari gestured to Shikamaru, hand spread gesturing from his head to feet, “resignation may suit you. But it’s not me. You might be content with pining, I am not.” Temari speared another piece of meat with gusto and chewed.
Shikamaru bowed his head. “Is that it then? You’ll move on?”
“Kami, you’re such an idiot sometimes.” Temari kept on eating, deliberately ignoring the dejected man across from her.
When she finished eating she checked the time. “Truth Nara. Why are you leaving tonight?”
She waited for him to look her in the eye. Only seconds passed before he spoke. “I wouldn’t be able to resist a second time.”
That sat in the silence of the table for a moment before he spoke again answering her unasked challenge, “Yes. A second invitation would have been forthcoming.”
Temari wanted to snap back at him but they were dealing in truth. She swallowed a sip of water and clarified, “There would have been a third and fourth and fifth until we both accepted a truth underneath the underneath. We are and we always will be. That being said, your plan does not work for me. If you can’t see a better way, then I will make plans for the team that is us. Note my plan does not involve giving up.”
“So that’s how it is? You see a solution that I didn’t.”
“I don’t have a thousand possibilities laid out Nara. But I will not accept an outcome where we aren’t together. I put my life on the line for Suna before I even fully understood what that meant, but it is my life and I intend to live it with you.”
Despite the restaurant being full of other nin, Shikamaru sat up straight and grabbed her hand, “Are you sure Mari?”
“Have you ever known me not to be?” She wrapped her free hand tight around his. She kept at least one hand tight with him as they held hands all the way back to the meeting space. Upon their return, they sat side by side, hands clutched silently announcing their feelings, formal courtship, eventual marriage and allied status of their nations.