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It twas just another day, in Manhattan. You were walking home from school, .when all of the sudden, a tall faceless man appears in the woods right next to you, and pulls you into the woods (Inntooo the wooods). He pulls you up high into the air and sticks his tongue out in disgusting "Human? You are human." Then he comes closer and seems to smell you. He vomits. "I have never smelled a human as disgusting as you do. I admire that, kid." He says.You look at the glassses on his face, wondering why he needs them, since he has no eyes. "Why are you wearing glasses?"
The glasses on his faceless face cracked."Because they are trendy.. And is that literally all you are going to say?" you nod and decide to flex on this son of a binch so you pull out your high quality GUCCI glasses and put them on. He gasps and kneels down in respect for your non fake gucci. You laugh. "Peasant! I knew you were no match for my GUCCII GLASDRS" Then you kick his faceless face, and grab is musty crusty glasses and shoves them into his mouth, he chews.
Crickets... Crickets...
Blood starts oozing out of his mouth, and non existing eyes. you gasp in horror. He is getting that blood all over the cashmere sweater you're wearing. He cries and apologizes to you. Squmbledoor would be ashamed.
You kick him in his faceless face, and punch him in the cricket. "Is that how youre gonna do the macarena, Gladis?" He asks.He wiggles his non existent eyebrowns.
"No, but i can do the electric slide." You then start moon walking out of the woods. How you do it, with all of those sticks and thorns, it is a miracle. Wait, no its a film theory. He stands up with a smile on his phaceless phace. "You absolute THOT. I can do better than that!" He does a cartwheel out of the woods too and then does the cupid shuffle over to you. You gasp and immediately starting getting jiggly with it. He looks offended. You study is faceless face again and discover, he has one weakness. He cannot bust it down thotianna.
(What food do we have? Hot dogs!!? Do we have avocado??! Did we run out of avocado????)
That random tho(t)ught came into your mind.
You knew yourrrr next move.
The banana song dance.. Avocado style.
"PPEEL THE AVOOCAIDO, PPEEL THE AVOCAIDO. GUACHMAAMOOLEYYYYY." Arms and legs spazzing out. You then proceed to shape shift into the human form of a crab and perfectly reinact the crab rave while spilling offensive slurs of all kinds at this poor (slender) man. He looks defeated on his faceless face. You have out danced him. He ttwas aboot to say somethen when a loud errie sound was heard. That came frum your phone. A notification you got just a second ago, read "Looking for children. Trading ice cream for children. Come in anyAlso free netflix and chill." you panic and throw your phone, breaking it. One last notification sounds and it says "yes big daddy."
You look up from yourrr fone, and see another faceless tall man in a fadora, in which wiggles his too non existing eyebrowns at you, and you just bolt down deh street.
"BYE BYE FELICIA"
Poison.