Chapter Text
“I thought all of this was ‘nothing exorcists like me need to worry about’.” Chongyun raises his hands into the air, fingers twitching in imaginary quotes. The 77th Director of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, Hu Tao, simply rolls her eyes with the same cheeky grin on her face.
“Weeeell I was wrong! There, aren’t you happy as can be?” She says, but her tone is light and airy and teasing, like it always is, and Chongyun lets out a huff in order to vent what little anger manages to boil up. Hu Tao always managed to get under his skin, but right now he has to act professionally, because he was hired to clear out an evil spirit or so the director had said. So far he senses no energies that were out of the ordinary, and begins to doubt the brunette. She obviously picks up on this right away, and starts to push him along further into the funeral parlor.
“This way this way! Come one come all to the most haunted room!~” She chirrups, making Chongyun roll his eyes, but a small smile does come to his lips. As much as Hu Tao did annoy him sometimes, he was fond of the young woman, having spent much time alongside her and Xingqiu as children. He’s led to an office filled with books and an impressive chihua wood desk that likely had seen more directors than anything else in the building. He blinks in surprise, and grunts when he’s shoved into the chair behind the desk.
“... Your office is haunted?”
“Mhm!”
He pauses, trying to sense any traces of spiritual energy. Nothing.
“Your office is not haunted.”
“Aiyaaa Chongyun! Just stay seated for ten minutes and act like the good little demon repellent you are, okay?” Hu Tao presses her hands together and knits her brows, even sticking out her bottom lip and doing her best to make her eyes shine. The exorcist lets out a heavy sigh and leans back into the large wood chair, letting his arms drape on the rests.
“Fine.”
“Yahoo!~ You’re the best, Chongyun!~” She cheers, which makes him huff softly and feel his cheeks warm up. Hu Tao was never one to ask for favors, so even if she wanted him to sit there for an hour, he probably would.
The ticking of the clock on the wall is the only proof that time is actually passing, well that and Hu Tao’s constant fidgeting. He watches the minutes go by, and when about 6 have passed, he sighs and speaks up.
“Okay, what kind of prank is this? Is Xingqiu hiding in the closet or something?” He asks, leaning forward and trying to see if the armoire moves. The director gives a snort and laughs, shaking her head.
“Yeah but not in this one.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Anyway maybe you’re not yang-ing hard enough. Put your effort into it! Close your eyes and really feel for that ghost!”
Chongyun doesn’t really understand what she means by that, but he does so anyway. There was only a few minutes left, and he might as well entertain her whims for the time being lest she pester him more and more that he wasn’t ‘trying hard enough’ or something. It’s quiet for a moment more, but then he hears soft shuffling around, and assumes it’s Hu Tao fidgeting again. He doesn’t comment on it until he very, very distinctly feels something pulling at the belt around his waist, undoing it scarily quickly.
Chongyun’s eyes fly open to see Hu Tao being the obvious culprit, and before he can shout at her she puts a finger to her lips. He’s not sure why that silences him, but it does, maybe from the shock of it all. Instead of talking, she simply waves her hand up and down, signaling for him to close his eyes again… so he does. Because he’s an idiot, maybe, or something even worse. The exorcist feels his cheeks burn red hot as the belt is set aside, and he gasps and flinches when he feels hands undoing the tied knot of the drawstring on his pants.
“W-What are y-you doing?” He asks, heart pounding in his chest when he feels Hu Tao’s hands pulling down fabric. When she touches his underwear, his eyes open again and he makes to get out of the chair– but a hand immediately stops him and pushes him back into it quite firmly. Right, Hu Tao was a fighter herself, nothing to sneeze at when her hands got on a polearm, so of course she would be strong enough to keep him from running away.
“I’m just gonna help you get some of that suuuper potent yang energy built up, that’s all!” She explains all too casually, and her hand feels like fire when it finally dips under his waistband to palm at his half-hard dick. Chongyun lets out an undignified yelp, hands clenching the arm rests as Hu Tao hums that awful hillichurl song while pulling him out. This was weird, this was maybe kind of wrong, this was one hundred percent not what Chongyun signed up for.
He inhales and closes his eyes again, for he is only man, and man at times gives into temptation. The least he can do is try to steady his expression, brows furrowed in concentration and lips pressed into a tight line. When he feels something hot and wet slide up the side of his dick, his whole body shivers and his expression deepens. This, for some reason, earns a small fit of giggles from Hu Tao.
“What an ugly face you’re making! That’ll scare away any spirit before your energy does.” She teases, and Chongyun opens his eyes and goes to protest.
The protest that immediately dies on his lips at the scene before him. Hu Tao between his legs, licking her palm before stroking Chongyun’s cock, the same sly smile on her face as always. Chongyun definitely feels his Yang energy swell up at the sight, but something else does as well. The director lets out a small giggle as he hardens completely in her hand within moments, and lets out a tiny noise of surprise when she presses her lips right under the head of his dick.
It feels like charcoal is being stoked in his stomach, he can’t believe something like this is happening– yet the pleasure he feels when Hu Tao licks another long stripe up from the base of his dick all the way to the top, that is very real. Chongyun squirms slightly in the chair, trying to keep himself calm and composed, trying to keep the bubbling Yang energy down while it threatens to spill over like a boiling pot. Hu Tao glances up, their eyes connect, and she giggles again like this is all some kind of funny joke. She delicately tucks soft brown locks behind her ear, eyes lowering as she leans forward and wraps her lips around the head of his cock. Chongyun gasps like he’s been shocked with electro, already feeling too close to cumming, so he grips the armrests of the chair for dear life.
If Hu Tao notices, she makes no show of it, keeping the head in her mouth while rubbing her tongue against the slit where it’s most sensitive. Chongyun bites his bottom lip as hard as he can without tearing into it completely, pleasure rushing up and down his spine. Slowly, the Director lowers her mouth more and more, lips pressed to her encircled hand that covers whatever she can’t quite take in. Her rhythm is steady and slow, almost torturously so as she blows Chongyun whilst making sure he won’t cum too early. Easier said than done, because even with her slow movements, the suction and heat and wetness of her mouth feels heavenly, and the exorcist feels like he’s melting into it. Whenever his cock leaks precum, Hu Tao’s tongue is there to lap it up and swallow it down, and he can’t help the whine that bubbles from his lips when she does so. The texture of her tongue, the ridges of her hard palate, the soft slipperiness of the inside of her cheek– it never stops alternating, meaning Chongyun can’t get used to any of it.
When her free hand reaches down and rubs at his balls, Chongyun gasps sharply and brings a hand up to his mouth, staunching anything louder than a whimper. He bites into his hand and shivers, breaths coming out roughly through his nose as he keeps watching Hu Tao bob her head up and down. The room is filled with soft, wet sucking noises, and whatever voices that spill in from the busy Liyue streets.
Just when he feels like he can’t take it anymore, he can’t hold back, Hu Tao pulls off his dick with a small gasp. The loss makes him choke a sob– he nearly reaches for her pigtails to pull her back down and finish the job, but he’s not fast enough to react.
“Hmm~? You’re not even in your super weird Yang-mode yet!” She pouts, cheeks puffed slightly as she looks at him with… disappointment? Was this seriously just to get his Yang out of control?! He can’t help but feel a little proud of how he managed to hold himself together, but it doesn’t overshadow the feeling of exasperation and confusion. Was she just going to leave him here like this, to run home in embarrassment with a ridiculous hard on?
“Well, let’s try something else!” Hu Tao chirrups, and reaches under her jacket. Chongyun is speechless when the director simply lets her shorts fall to the floor, shoes clicking against the hardwood as she steps closer and climbs onto the chair.
“Wait wait– waitwaitwait–!” Chongyun gasps, but the pyro user hardly listens and gets her legs underneath the arm rests.
“Oh, stop your whining!” She chides him, and crossing her arms, she sits on his still-clothed thighs. “What’s the problem here?”
“Are you kidding me?! You– this–!” He doesn’t even know where to start with how many problems there are in that moment. Chongyun wildly gestures for a moment, letting out incoherent noises rather than sentences, because he just doesn’t know how to put it all into words. Hu Tao, for the most part, looks largely unamused and unaffected by his hysterics. Then, a finger is pressed to his lips, as the cryo user falls quiet once more, eyes wide.
“So, you want me to stop and leave?” She asks, and she’s rather frank about it, no pouting or whining or giggling. It seems like an honest question, and it’s simple enough that even Chongyun can answer it. He shakes his head. She smiles brightly in return. “‘Kay!”
And just like that, she’s back in action. Hu Tao sets aside her hat on the table behind her before reaching down and steadying Chongyun’s cock. Pulling her panties aside (they’re simple and white, which is surprising, he half expected them to have some kind of plum-flower motif on them) Hu Tao rubs the head between the folds of her vagina. She’s hot and ridiculously wet, and Chongyun gasps when he feels her slowly lowering down onto him. His head knocks hard against the wood of the backrest, but Chongyun hardly feels it over the searing heat of Hu Tao’s insides. She lets out a whimper that ends in a breathy giggle, stopping only when the tip is finally inside her.
Chongyun tries to take that moment to breathe, get his bearings back, but Hu Tao isn’t satiated by that much. She starts to slowly lower herself more and more, letting out breathy whines and panting breaths– the tight heat of her pussy is too much. Chongyun finally lets out of an armrest to grip at the base of his dick, just to keep himself from cumming right then and there. The director notices and grins mischievously.
“That good, huh?”
“S-Shut up…!”
Hu Tao lets out another laugh, but it’s cut off by a warbling moan as she seats herself further. It takes a considerable amount of self restraint not to thrust up into her, lose himself entirely to it all, but Chongyun doesn’t want to hurt her of all things. So despite the torture, he gasps for breath and bites his tongue, trying to think of anything but the situation he’s in right now. It doesn’t really work, especially when he shifts slightly to relieve the pressure on his tailbone– it barely slides him in more, but Hu Tao gasps and clenches around him. Her hands reach out and grasp at Chongyun’s shoulders, and when he looks at her face, he’s surprised.
Her cheeks are thoroughly flushed, and her brow is slightly furrowed in concentration. The whole time she was acting like she had a leg up on the situation, that she wasn’t feeling anything, but now it was obviously much harder to do. She sucks in her bottom lip, riding Chongyun inch for inch, eyelids fluttering when she finally presses her hips against his own. The two of them let out a sigh of relief, and Chongyun can feel himself sweating despite only having sat there.
“I prepped myself earlier but, jeez, I didn’t think you’d be this big…” The director sighs, and Chongyun’s head snaps up, expression incredulous.
“W-What are you trying to say?” He frowns, unsure if he should be insulted or… flattered?
“No no no, it’s a good thing, you’re overthinking it.” Hu Tao waves a hand, acting as if Chongyun isn’t literally balls deep inside her. He squints at her, not quite believing anything she has to say. There’s little point in pressing the issue, especially when she lifts her hips and drops them back down suddenly, making the exorcist yelp in surprise. Being so deep inside her, her soft walls that clench and rub around his cock– and he’s offered little relief, because she barely lifts herself off him before going back down. He’s constantly surrounded by heat and pressure and unrelenting pleasure.
So, really, he can’t be blamed for cumming so soon.
Hu Tao was just getting into it too, he could tell, her voice slowly getting louder, tiny whimpers turning into cute, pitchy moans. But it’s all cut off when he chokes a sob before groaning, hands gripping her thighs tightly as he spills deeply into her. Hu Tao gasps and shivers, eyes wide in surprise, likely feeling the way his cock twitches inside her while being milked for every last drop.
Feeling exhausted, Chongyun’s head droops, fluffy blue-white hair covering his eyes as he pants. Hu Tao is quiet for a long moment before smiling, giving his head a couple of pats.
“Well, I guess it can’t be helped!” She says, slowly raising her hips. Chongyun shivers, feeling overstimulated by the movement, but makes no further movement. He feels too many things in that moment– embarrassment, anger, confusion, and still really, really turned on. Hu Tao climbs off the chair with a small sigh, reaching down for her shorts, when his hand grasps her wrist.
“Oya?”
In a flurry of movement, Chongyun turns the girl around and presses her stomach down against the chihua desk, one hand pressed between her shoulder blades and the other still holding her wrist. Surprised, Hu Tao looks back, and sees that the exorcists' usually cat-like pupils are round and dark. She can definitely feel a different energy coming off of him, one that doesn’t feel so held back and balanced, and an excited grin comes to her face.
“Ohohooo~! Is this the infamous Yang-mode Chongyun?! How excitiii– eep!” Hu Tao suddenly yelps as she feels her panties being pushed down, the thin elastic catching on one of the intricate knots on her socks. Chongyun is quiet still, besides the heavy pants coming from his mouth, and he grasps his cock to rub the head firmly against the folds of her pussy. Each time it passes over her clit, he can feel her squirm against him, hips trying to shift back onto him, but she’s stubbornly held in place. Hu Tao goes to look back, but Chongyun leans forward and presses his chest to her back to keep her in place. He buries his face into the director's shoulder, smelling linen and plum blossoms and smoldering fire, and he can feel her laugh coming from her chest.
“Well, are you gonna put it in me or what, Chong-yang? ‘Cause that’s fine with me–eee~!!” She lets out a small squeal of surprise when Chongyun does just that, pushing inside Hu Tao with ease. She’s already opened up perfectly for him, filled with cum and lube and her own wetness, so sliding all the way in is quick. The two of them groan together, but Chongyun doesn’t stop there. Putting his hands on her hips, he thrusts into Hu Tao, reaching deep inside her. She’s perfect– still hot and tight but ridiculously slippery, and the exorcist can feel the excess cum from before starting to spill out.
Wet, sticky sounds fill the room while mixing with the sounds of their moans and panting breaths. Every now and again Hu Tao lets out a giggle of delight, and she reaches a hand back to grasp into Chongyun’s hair.
“S-So good…!” Hu Tao’s breaths and words are choppy, hiccupped with each thrust that Chongyun gives. She pants and presses her cheek against the cool desk beneath her, not even caring that her hair is spread across the surface and some stray locks are dipping into the nearby inkwell. Chongyun groans and nuzzles into her neck, feeling her warmth and reaches a hand down between her legs to rub at her clit. It earns a beautiful yelp from the director, her painted nails digging into the wood, and he can feel her clench around him as she shudders through an orgasm. No longer inhibited by his usual shyness, Chongyun feels himself smiling against her skin, and speaks.
“That good, huh?” He repeats, and a laugh comes out of Hu Tao’s mouth.
“D-Don’t get ahead of yourself– nnh! You couldn’t– c-couldn’t fuck your w-way out of a haunted house!” She says, knowing full well that it makes absolutely no sense, but the goading seems to work. Chongyun feels the fire inside him stoked further, so he doesn’t give her much of a break even after she cums. Instead he continues to rub at her slippery clit, feeling himself getting closer to the edge himself, especially when he hears her whine and moan, and feels her thighs shaking against his own.
“Come on, come on…” He mutters into her ear, and the director can’t help but whimper– she wasn’t expecting Chongyun to be so rough and direct even with his overflowing Yang, but she isn’t complaining in the least. “Cum for m-me Hu Tao, you can do it…” He says, and lightly bites her earlobe, teeth clicking on the little gold flower-shaped studs. Hu tao lets out a whimper, standing on the tips of her shoes to try and shy away from Chongyun’s insistent fingers, but it doesn’t quite work.
“A-aah–! Chongyun…!” She gasps, cumming again, and hard. He can feel it in how she tightens up almost painfully around him, body quivering with pleasure as she rides through the high. He sees a bead of drool threatening to spill from her lips, so he leans close and drinks it up before it can fall. With this mock-kiss, Chongyun feels whatever resolve he has left draining away, and he cums inside Hu Tao with a long groan. He stays like that for a long moment, chest to back while he spills his second load deep inside her, and his excess Yang energy with it.
The two of them stay panting for a while, tired but satiated, when Chongyun once again regains his normal balance of energies. Realizing what just happened, his face slowly turns bright red, and he carefully pulls out of Hu Tao before stumbling back a step. Her upper thighs are slightly red from where his hips constantly smacked into her own, and her pussy is puffy and well-used. Cum drips down from her hole, sometimes onto the floor, sometimes sliding down her inner thighs in rivulets. Oh Archons above he did that– he did that! Hu Tao looks back and over her shoulder, giving a woozy grin and a thumbs up.
“Yeah, I think you got th’ ghost out.” She slurs slightly, giggling after, and thats it– Chongyun can’t take anymore. He can barely get his pants back up and snatches his belt off the floor before running out of the funeral parlor, feeling like he can never ever in his life face the 77th Director, the girl who has poetry battles with Xingqiu, the kind-of bane of his existence Hu Tao, ever again. Nope, definitely not. He would just have to leave Liyue for good forever, and save himself from the soul crushing embarrassment of facing Hu Tao ever again.
And Hu Tao, who is left half on, half off the desk that Zhongli usually uses to keep the parlor's ledgers, blinks in surprise at how incredibly fast Chongyun can run. She lets out a small huff, and lifts a lock of hair out of the inkwell beside her head. She had some cleaning up to do, it seemed!
“Well, that was fun! I’m gonna have to hunt him down again~.”