Chapter Text
“Namjoon, seriously, if there’s anything you should be focused on doing in this interview it’s-”
“I know.” Namjoon exhales. Shifting his weight onto his right foot, he sighs. He’d much rather be anywhere else than in this conference room with BigHit, but here he is all thanks to his maknaes. “Look, it’s difficult. I’m also in charge of translating for the group and making sure everything runs smoothly. Watching over them throughout the entire interview is asking a lot from me.”
“We know, but the last time you guys were on their show … it … let’s just say … it distracted from the message. It’s also just not a good look on us.” Their executive PR manager wagged his index finger around the room, eyes not leaving Namjoon. This was their second time having a meeting on this topic, and in all honesty, it was annoying. He should not be responsible for two grown adults on top of everything else. He honestly didn’t even care what they did during the interview as long as they weren’t too distracting.
“All publicity is good publicity right?” He tried, with an uneasy smile.
“Not when the rumor is about two potentially homosexual-”
“I mean, would it really be that bad?” He hated having to explain this to BigHit. He’s tried over and over again since the rumors between them started, but it was no use. One time, they had insinuated (threatened) that they were able to edit (change and fuck them over using) their contracts with BTS. In the end, he had walked out of the conference room with a pulling in his chest, feeling like shit. “In terms of the business-”
“Not when the rumor is about two potentially homosexual bandmates.” And there it was again, Namjoon sighed. “At this point, we and the higher-ups do not care if they’re dating, not dating, hooking up, or figuring it out. Frankly, we don’t care if they are just friends and none of this is true. What we need to focus on is what the public sees. And right now, what the public sees is … “intense sexual tension” and “gay soulmates” … so please do your best to control the situation out there.”
“Yes sir.”
“Good. You guys go on in 35. Go drink some water and get your touch-ups. We’ll speak to them individually.” Their manager, PR, and other BigHit personnel were basically ushering him out the door. And he was gladly leaving.
“Yes sir, thank you.”
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“Excuse me, you wanted to see me?” He closed the door behind him.
“Yes Taehyung, thank you for coming.” To Taehyung, this seemed a bit unnecessary if what he thought was going to go down, was going to go down.
“Of course.” He leaned on the side of an old wooden desk by the door, it squeaked irritatingly against the ground. Trying a smile to ease the tension, Taehyung nodded his head for them to continue.
“I’m sure you already know why you’re here, so we’ll keep it brief. We will not have a repeat of BTS’ holiday special appearance for iHeartRadio.” Their manager informed him. “We have been doing damage control for the higher-ups since then. So, please, control yourselves out there.”
“Mhm.” Taehyung locked eyes with each person in the room. He couldn’t believe they were having this talk again. It’s been like this for the past two years. Every time they’re together in public, they’re separated. Every time they want to get food together, they’re prohibited from doing so. They’re not even allowed to do vlives together. Everyone can, except them. Last time they were alone in the hotels together while Taeyhung was on vlive. It had been an accident, but BigHit called them mid-vlive, leading to more speculation on his relationship with his best friend. All the crazy rumors, Twitter threads, and YouTube compilations were not helping his confusion on the matter.
“That means, no rubbing each other’s thighs, no caressing each other's napes, no holding hands for an unnecessary amount of time. No “saranghae”, nothing. We will have staff behind the cameras in case you guys need a reminder of the appropriate behavior for an interview.”
“Mmm.”
“We’re serious, Taehyung. We are courteous enough to allow you guys to do what you want behind the cameras, but as soon as the camera begins recording-” Hold on…
“Wait, we aren’t, sorry, look Jungkookie and I aren’t together like that. We’re just friends.”
“We don’t care, ARMY believes otherwise. The holiday interview situation was not the first time. This thing between you and Jungkook has been going on for years, but right now, BTS is at the height of its success … worldwide. You need to remember that BTS represents Korea and the message you guys send out doesn’t reflect well on us.”
“Yes sir.”
“Okay great, go get fixed up and bring in Jungkook.”
Taehyung turned on his heels and walked out of the room. As soon as he heard the door close behind him, he wiped his hands on his slacks and leaned back on the door. He was breathing fast and his chest ached. He was partly embarrassed and partly freaking out. What the fuck.
Jungkook and he were not together like that. Like at all. There had been moments, sure, where the line between best friends and lovers(?) could have been crossed, but either one of them would stop it. For Taehyung, he always attributed the need to touch, to be close, to their weird chemistry. Of course, not romantic, necessarily, just … chemistry? Yeah, just chemistry.
He enjoyed being around Jungkookie a lot. He used to think time would push them apart, but surprisingly, it did just the opposite. Somehow, the two best friends went from being family to … magnets? Taehyung never knew the word to describe them, but he knew that there was something there.
He just didn’t understand what that something was.
Pushing himself off the door, Taehyung began walking back to the waiting room. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling nervous again, so he made his steps quicker.
“Kookieeee!” He yelled, shoving the door open with his side.
“Ahh?” A pair of pretty doe eyes met his.
“BigHit.”
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“You got it Jungkook?”
“Yes.”
“Even if Taehyung begins to touch you-”
“Yah yah yah! This is embarrassing.” Jungkook smiled into his hand and looked away.
“Okay, go get ready, good luck.” Their managers began clapping. “Make us proud, golden maknae.”
I’ll try.
If he was being honest, Jungkook didn’t know exactly how he’d manage to stop Taehyung if he started acting all … Taehyung. By that he meant, affectionate at random times. Or, ignoring at others. Taetae was confusing. All Jungkook could do was react to whatever Taehyung would give him. It was always like that, even during their debut era. Back when he was shy and selfish and scared. Back when he felt like he was carrying the weight of the world all by himself. Taetae was always there, being himself, being his friend. All Jungkook could do was accept him.
So, if Taehyung decided to hug him, he would let him. If Taehyung decided to grip his thigh, he would let him. If Taehyung decided to grab his hand, he would hold his too. That was their dynamic. The same could be said for the days Taehyung kept to himself and ignored him. Jungkook would allow his best friend's behavior to dictate his mood. He couldn’t help it. Jungkook felt he was always at the mercy of Taehyung, for better or worse.
He understood where the higher-ups were coming from. Korea was not a welcoming environment for non-heterosexuals and their friendship was rather confusing. If it was confusing to Jungkook, he could not imagine how it may seem to the fans who don’t even know him and Taetae personally. They couldn’t control themselves, even on camera. Hell, it was worse off camera. Interestingly enough, his group mates almost never commented on it, but they would insinuate that their relationship was different. And Jungkook knew that. He knew it was different, he just wasn’t sure if it was in the way everyone thought it was.
There were times when he thought Taetae would finally do something about this weird tension (awkwardness?) between them when they were alone. But one of them would stop it. There were times when the line between platonic and romantic was so blurry. Where that line was almost invisible to him, and probably Taehyung too. But one of them would quickly draw it back. It was both scary and exciting, almost like a rush. Exhilarating.
For Jungkook, his sexuality was just one big question mark. I mean he literally went through puberty in close proximity to 6 hot guys, even sharing a room and showering with those guys. He never learned to decipher between accepting that men can be handsome and wanting to kiss a man because they’re attractive. To this day, Jungkook never learned the difference. In fact, he danced around that big question mark that taunted him every time Taehyung wanted to cuddle. Unfortunately for him, he’d have to figure it out at the same time that Twitter freaks the fuck out because he kissed Taehyung’s nape at an airport. Which, by the way, … he cannot believe he did that at an airport. It’s like he forgets who they are when they’re near each other. It’s dangerous, but again, exciting.
Shaking himself out of his thoughts, Jungkook walked back to the waiting room. There were 8 minutes left till they would be called to line up. Bursting through the door, he walked over to his makeup artist and hair stylist and greeted them. They sat him down and began prodding at him. Closing his eyes, Jungkook’s thoughts drifted to memories of their performance from the weekend. He’d had fun, maybe a little too much fun.
“Jungkook-ah!” Jimin called from somewhere across the room. Jungkook peered his eyes open as his stylists had begun smoothening the lines of his black dress shirt.
“So handsome!~” Flirty Jimin’s words sang through the air. Next to him Hobi burst into laughter and slapped the back of Jimin’s silver hair. He loved them.
“Yahh!!” He called back. As Jungkook made his way over to everyone else, something caught his eye. Taehyung was now wearing a smokey dark brown shadow on his eyes. And he looked really … really good.
“Woahh! Taehyungie, your eyes look so pretty!” The words spilled out of him. Sometimes he wished he could take a needle and thread to his mouth and sew it shut. He sometimes wished he could card that thread through the sensitive skin around his mouth and stop the things he doesn’t understand from leaving him. Stop the heavy, thick words laced with admiration and something… else … from filling the dressing room. Right now though, all he could think, see, and touch was Taehyung.
“Just my eyes?” Taehyung walked up beside him, his smirk decorating his smooth, nearly perfect face. The room suddenly felt too warm and small. Jungkook knew what Taehyung was doing. His Hyung was always shameless, I mean, this was almost flirting. He just didn’t know what Taehyung meant by it.
“No! Your face … I mean, you look good, handsome?” He stuttered. His sentence, if you can even call it that, was like a big neon poster that read: Hi, I’m Jungkook and I think my best friend flirts with me sometimes, please help.
“Relax Kookie, I’m just playing around.” Taehyung’s response mixed into his breathy laugh was doing something to Jungkook, he just didn’t know what.
Jungkook wanted to tell him that they always seemed to be playing around. But, playing around with his other hyungs didn’t feel like this. He wanted to tell Taehyung that he was nervous around him recently and scared of something. Scared of his touch, his face, his laugh, their proximity, even though it used to never bother him. It wasn’t just fear though, it was also fireworks and trampolines in his stomach, and he wanted to know if Taehyung felt this too.
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“Alright guys, let’s go out there and show people what BTS is all about! Be respectful and don’t distract from-” Namjoon heard giggles from across their huddle. He wanted to smack his own forehead so hard that he went blind, and maybe deaf.
“Taekook can you guys stand still for 1 minute, please.” He called out. “And also stop giggling, especially when I’m talking. You two are on a very thin line right now.” The two men looked down at their feet with timid smiles. In actuality, Namjoon found their relationship(?) kind of endearing and innocent, but he had a job right now.
“Taekook?” Jimin piped in, with a sly smile. “Their ‘ship’ name? Is that how we should refer to them from now on?” A loud smack was heard. It was Jin.
“Line up, now.”
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Taehyung sometimes wished Jungkook would relax a bit. He was always nervous and fidgety and scared of authority. Not that it wasn’t kind of cute, in a way, he just wished Kookie had more confidence in himself and his actions. That Jungkook could make mistakes without cutting himself down with an ax. He wanted Jungkook to let things go, let himself be happy.
That being said, he wanted Jungkook to stop looking like he was going to throw up right now.
“Jungkook, Taehyung. You two had one job out there.” Their manager loomed over them, hands splayed out on the marble desk. Gazes around the room were laced with frustration trapped behind piercing eyes. It made Taehyung straighten his spine.
“It was barely anything!” Taehyung shot back. It was true, he hadn’t even touched Jungkook. They weren’t even allowed to sit near each other.
“Taehyung, you blew him a kiss during the interview.” PR piped in from his right.
“Okay? The other members have done worse with each other in interviews.” Raking a hand through his hair, he looked over at Jungkook, who was currently shrinking into himself. His big eyes were darting from his left to right foot at an impressive speed. Even in his thoughts, his best friend couldn’t help but run away.
“You also signaled a heart to him during the performance. The live performance.” That caught Taehyung’s attention again. Yes. He had done that, but he was also performing. If it held meaning for Taehyung, that was Taehyung’s business. Other members, he knew, had done shit like that as well, but GOD FORBID Kookie and himself act like themselves during a performance.
“Okay, then why is Jungkook here? Yell at me since you want somebody to blame sooo-”
“We haven’t even started with Jungkook’s behavior yet.” An authoritative voice boomed through the conference room. Men in suits sat up straighter. In walks Si-Hyuk’s right-hand man. Seeing Jungkook’s ghost leave his body, Taehyung reached under the table to squeeze his hand. Fingers tentatively searched out for each other, almost shaking. Smooth skin and lines circling around one another, silently. At least for Taehyung, the tingling and heat that erupted from his skin were not from fear of the situation.
A deep breath and sigh were heard from next to him. He was hoping they’d let Jungkook go, but they didn’t exude luck on this day.
“Jungkook … when we told you not to react to Taehyung and you said ‘yes sir’, we assumed that meant you understood us.” Eyes fell onto the now quiet man next to him, who was trying to look intimidating and strong.
“I did understand, sir.” He said voice traveling around the cold room, receiving exasperated stares.
“Okay, so why did you catch Taehyung’s kiss during the interview and place it on your heart?” Jungkook only stared, accepting this as a rhetorical question.
“And then, during the performance, you signaled a heart back to Taehyung and signed ‘i love you’ in KSL behind your back? I don’t even- I don’t know what to say.” An awkward silence reverberated among them. Taehyung felt a weight in his stomach, something fluttering inside of him. The KSL was not something he was aware of, he didn’t see it, and didn’t check Twitter for obvious reasons. Glancing over at Jungkook, he raised an eyebrow, but Jungkook refused to change his focus.
“I apologize, sir. I didn’t realize I had done that.”
“Okay. Well, there’s nothing to be done about the situation, at least not from you two. However, we will need, NEED you guys to behave for your upcoming promo. Taehyung, Jungkook, this was unprofessional and disrespectful to this company. So. please learn to differentiate between the moments you have a camera on you two and when you two are in your bedr-”
“I’m sorry, what promo?” Taehyung asked in an attempt to steer this conversation away from the uncomfortable direction it was taking.
“More like a shoot. BigHit has decided to send BTS off to the Bahamas, similar to Bon Voyage, as promo for the album you guys are working on.” A deep voice somewhere from Taeyhung’s right butted in.
“The Bahamas?! Oh my-”
“The other members don’t know yet, so don’t say anything and act surprised when we bring it up.”
Jungkook started to do that cute thing where he claps excitedly. A soft smile began to crawl its way onto Taeyhung’s face. As his hands erupted in heat, Taehyung sat up straighter.
“Yes, it’ll be great.” Their manager stated as he walked around the desk to stand directly in front of Jungkook and himself. “However, I will be reminding you guys… once again … that you are not allowed to be next to each other on camera. The informal rules I laid out earlier still apply to this trip and, if anything, they will be heavily enforced. Given how this will be heavily filmed, the rules will have to apply to your entire stay throughout the shoot.”
“What do you mean?” Jungkook asked tentatively.
“He means that even if you think you’re not being filmed, you are not allowed to act in the ways you have acted in the past.” A man dressed in a navy suit spoke from somewhere in the back of the office.
“Yes,” answered their manager, with a tired strain. “Do you two understand?”
“Yes sir.” Words in perfect unison erupted from their mouths.