Chapter Text
“Steven?”
Steve finds himself snapping from a daydream he didn’t even realise he had lost himself in again. Something he finds himself doing a lot. He daydream’s of the waves surrounding him, a busy ship, a life full of adventure. He often losses himself in the same day dream. And then finds himself disappointed when he realises he’s exactly where he doesn’t want to be.
He looks to his left, where he meets Nancy’s furrowed brow as she stares at him. They are sitting in the grand, very nice lounge area of Nancy’s family home. The lounge area was extravagant, full of expensive furniture and art from all over the world. Nancy’s family were extremely fortunate, even more so than Steve’s.
Nancy was beautiful, she had always been given the greatest of compliments as she grew up into the woman she was today. She had dark shoulder length curly hair. Hair which she usually wore pinned up from her face. She was elegant, in a fun way. A way that made Steve easily fall for her. She had bright blue eyes, pale skin and was rather petite. She really was a dream. Steve really should be happy, he thinks.
Steve clears his throat, straightening in his sitting position. Almost forgetting that she had even asked him a question. Completely unable to remember anything that she had said, lost to his thoughts. She shakes her head with a smile.
“Did you hear what I said? I said, our parents will be excited to hear about the wedding plans we discussed last night. We should tell them tonight at dinner.” Nancy smiles again, a forced kind of smile. The kind of smile Steve has picked up on, that’s been there for a while now.
His parents had always wished for him to marry Nancy. Ever since they were kids, their families had decided, long before Steve and Nancy were even old enough to have an incline in the decisions, the decisions being made about them both and their future. And, Steve, he loved Nancy. He really did.
But Nancy, she loved someone else. Steve had known it for a while, he had noticed the difference in the way she acted, the way she spoke. This ultimately led to Steve looking out for who. And, it hadn’t took him long to figure it out. And, he thought of asking, telling her he knew. But what difference would it make. They were stuck, bound by the decisions of their parents.
“Yea. Yea, that sounds perfect.” It was a passive reply. Simple, yet exactly what Nancy was looking for. She smiled briefly before her head was back in her book that was resting in her lap. “Gulliver’s Travels’‘ by Jonathan Swift. A book Nancy read quite a lot. A book Steve had made attempts to read - that had only spiked Steve’s want for adventure more.
Ever since Steve was a boy he had longed to set sail on the sea. Had grown up playing pirates, and pretending he had explored and found spectacular treasures and places. His father though, even when Steve was young, had told him it was nonsense, a pipe-dream and something that was extremely stupid to dream of. So, Steve stopped. Well, he stopped voicing those dreams out loud. Instead, he kept them hidden, only for himself. He found himself more often than not in those daydreams. In his dreams.
“I should be off. I have some work to do at the shop.” Steve stands from his chair, Nancy smiles up at him softly with a nod. He looks at her for a moment. “Don’t worry. I will be back with time to spare for dinner.” He leans down, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek, before being on his way.
Now, the one thing Steve did love about Hawkins was his job. His shop. Well, it wasn’t exactly his, but Lieutenant Henderson was away most of the time, leaving Steve in charge. D&D Blacksmiths. It was a small shop, made of wood and glass. It wasn’t anything special or extravagant. But, Steve loved it, he loved having something that was just his, sort of. It was something he was good at. Something he had decided to do for himself. Of course his dad had been pleased with it though, pleased that Steve had acquired a job from such a well respected man. And, Steve could wield a sword without any hesitation, pristine and perfect. To a standard he set for himself, a standard that no blade he made would ever be less than perfect.
It was a quiet, peaceful job. That sounds incredibly stupid, that making weapons would be said to be peaceful. But it was meditative, somewhere Steve could get lost in his thoughts without interruption. Well, unless the interruption was by the appearance of Lieutenant Henderson’s son, Dustin.
He made an appearance at the store almost everyday. Dustin had taken a liking to Steve the moment his father hired him and stuck by Steve’s side. Steve didn’t mind too much, he enjoyed the company, he enjoyed looking after the boy. He was a great kid, a truly great kid. A smart kid. Steve often found himself being fatherly to the boy, ruffling his curly brown hair and making him presentable when he’s heading back home. And, the best thing was that Dustin was kind, he enjoyed listening to Steve talk about his dreams, he got excited about them with him - he didn’t tell Steve they were stupid or childish. And, of course he was thirteen year old boy, but it was still nice to not be made to feel his dreams were worthless.
Steve also often had company from Jonathan. Jonathan was a quiet man, kept to himself. He was pale and peculiar. His dark hair always framing his face, hiding his features from anyone who was looking. He was kind though, helpful and Steve often found enjoyment in his silent company. Jonathan helped Steve out in the shop, every Tuesday and Thursday. He worked in order to earn some money for his mother and him. Not long ago his younger brother Will had gone missing, he was still missing, gone without a trace. And, Jonathan and his mother, Joyce, had searched high and low, only to be given nothing in return. The devastation was still there, of course, it loomed over the town. The rumours of child catchers passed like Chinese whispers and people feared for their children, feared for their children to be another William Byers. And, the rumours were hard on Jonathan and his mother, they were the situation that families in town dreaded.
Jonathan had shown up and pleaded with Steve for a job, his mother was unable to work: ill with grief and dread. As it turns out Jonathan was actually incredibly good at the work. Steve and him struck up a small friendship, and not to Jonathan’s knowledge but Steve had perhaps bumped his pay up, giving him a little more than he should from his own wages. Steve had no need for the extra money like Jonathan did, so he didn’t mind so much.
As Steve got lost in his thoughts, he got to work, following the orders that had been placed for the following day. Steve worked with precision, effortlessly. Welding and shaping the blades to the perfect shapes. His mind wandered to many things: completely forgetting the dreaded dinner he was attending later.
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Steve doesn’t do this often. He doesn’t go off on tangents about exploring. But, on his travels home he had overheard a conversation at the dockyard, and happily let himself eavesdrop a little longer than he normally would. The men, two of them, one who was bearded and scruffy looking. The other a well presented gentleman, a man who had already turned his nose up at the other. But, the scruffy gentleman, he had spoke of the opportunity to set sail on his ship, the opportunity for more. And, Steve all the way home couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“Doesn’t it sound great though? To set off and explore. To see what else there is other than Hawkins.” Steve spoke with excitement in his voice, but his parents’ faces were expressionless, Nancy shook her head from beside him - she had always been so dismissive in front of their parents. When they were alone she would sometimes entertain the ideas though, smiling at Steve. But never, never in front of their parents. She would usually say not to speak about it to them, that he caused such predicaments when he did.
But, somehow today none of that mattered to Steve. He wished for an opportunity to leave. He was sick of it. The same place, sick of his family turning their noses up at anything he wants. Steve’s lost count of the number of times he’s spoken of travelling, and how many times they had been shut down or he was told he was an idiot for wanting to have the life of a ‘pirate’.
“Dear, you really must drop this nonsense. Haven’t we discussed this before? It’s child talk. You can’t run off and become a no-good pirate” His mother spoke with a sour tone. His mother was a bitter looking woman, pale and rosy-cheeked. Held herself as if she was better than most. And she was always so dismissive. Most of his memories with her are ones in which he is dismissed or overlooked.
Those memories are mostly on occasions where he had met pirates by the shipyard, he used to play down there as a kid, hoping to see the ships and ask about places anyone had been. His mother hated it when he was there, she always worried. But Steve would tell her the stories he heard anyways, always excited that he had heard new ones. His mother would always reply the same thing though.
“You stay away from those mangey pirates. They are no good alcoholics, dear. You are made for so much more than that.”
But, Steve didn’t want more than that. He wanted that, and only that.
The dinner passed after that with no more predicaments, as Nancy says. And Steve went to bed with a headache, and an aching chest. He returned to his shop the following day, feeling particularly drained and emotional. He was cheerful to customers though, all of them pleased with his work and how quickly he had been able to provide them with their weapons. Silver and sparkling.
Jonathan lurked in the background today, busying himself with the jobs still needing done. An easy silence fell upon them, neither really speaking throughout the working day. Steve didn’t mind so much though. He had never felt uncomfortable with Jonathan.
Steve peaked his head out of the shop door, the busy town centre made him groan. The noise of footsteps and chatter echoed, Steve sighed in return. He wasn’t always the biggest fan of crowds, especially in Hawkins. Hawkins was a difficult place, there were many admirable people. There was people Steve liked and found the time for, but it also was infested with pompous well-off mouth-breathers. People who made everyone else feel so small. His parents being part of the pompous assholes made Steve’s stomach turn on a nightly basis.
And, it’s strange because as much as Steve is disgusted by the arrogance, he on most days finds himself looking up to the men. The men that women swoon over, the woman that would barely even glance twice at Steve. Steve saw himself as lanky, scrawny even. He knew he wasn’t the most unattractive but he didn’t think he was anything special. His features were dark and his chin was perfectly defined. But, he never saw himself as manly or important. Not like his father was. His hair was a different thing though, he was always so proud of his hair. Dark and luscious. Always styled to perfection. But people weren’t interested in that. Well, until Nancy of course.
Steve scanned the town, before looking across to the Bakery that shared a street with his storefront. A small blush creeped on his cheeks, as the baker’s son, Thomas caught his attention. A wide smile spread on his lips as he noticed Steve.
Thomas gave a small wave, and Steve waved back. Face red and skin hot. He never really understood why, but Thomas made him feel nervous, shy. He had made him feel that way ever since they first met, Thomas had introduced himself when Steve had first got his job here. Thomas had shook his hand and smiled at him so wide, Steve wanted to curl in a ball out of embarrassment. Because Thomas was very handsome, his freckled face and dark features made Steve’s stomach spin. He was broad and tall, maybe just as tall as Steve. And, he’d smiled, like, really smiled at Steve. And, that made Steve’s heart skip a beat.
Steve let his gaze stay on Thomas a moment, as he retreated back into his shop. Steve frowned when he could no longer see him. A feeling of longing spread through him - not that he would even know to call it that.
“Steven.” Steve looks to his right, Nancy is stood in front of him. A small smile, and a basket of bread in her arms. “I thought to bring you all lunch, I know you had a busy day,” Nancy gestured to the wooden door.
“Oh. Thank you, Nance” Steve made his way back into his shop, Nancy following closely behind him.
And, Steve’s stomach churned. Because oh, he knew. He knew Nancy was not here to see him. As much as she would act like she was. Now, Steve knows Nancy. Knows she has a good heart, and would never really do anything to hurt him. Not intentionally anyways.
Jonathan stepped from the small back room at that moment, freezing in the spot. He clears his throat and Steve watches. He looks to Nancy and then to Jonathan, a sad expression on his face that he quickly tries to hide.
Steve has known Nancy was in love with Jonathan for a while now, had figured it out one day when he was sure he caught them holding hands. But he never brought it up, or questioned her loyalties. Because he knew she would do as her parents asked.
“Miss Wheeler, a pleasure” Jonathan always spoke to her with formalities.
“Nancy. Please, Jonathan.” Nancy smiles. And, Steve see’s it. The smile that she used to give him. The smile that isn’t a forced nicety like the one she gives to Steve. But, instead a loving one. A longing one.
And, Steve’s heart should break at that. But, how can his heart break when his heart has never really belonged here anyways.