Actions

Work Header

Romcoms Aren't Funny

Summary:

Sachiko wasn't under any illusions that she was a good person, but surely she hadn't done anything to deserve this, right?

Miscommunication, mistaken identity, romantic drama, and more! At the end of the day, Sachiko really just wants to find out who that charming person she saw at Momobami's wedding was.

At least everyone else seems to be having just as many problems as she is.

Notes:

A romantic comedy au! It's not originally my idea, my buddy, rubyroth, graciously let me expand on their idea until it grew into something far out of my control. It's gonna be sloppy, but hopefully fun. This isn't my main fic, that's still my re8 fic until it's finished, so expect updates to be sparse.

Yes, this does mean I'm looking at those old kg fics I never finished. Perhaps one day, they will be rewritten and finished.

Small starter info-Sayaka is trans and Ririka is nonbinary. This is a full au, so no gambling school and such. The cast either met in high school, eg. Mary and Yuriko, or college, eg. Kirari and Sayaka. Expect hijinks a la Shakespeare comedies and corny hallm*rk movies.

Chapter 1: Late Introductions

Chapter Text

"What about Sumeragi?"

"Let her choose." Kirari leaned over Sayaka's shoulder to pick up Itsuki's invitation. "I'd wager she doesn't bring anyone at all, rather than both of her lovers. But I still want to give her the option."

"And are we sending separate invitations to Nishinotouin-senpai and Saotome-san?"

"No," Kirari pressed a kiss to Sayaka's temple, "just one to Yuriko. I want to see if Mary will be too stubborn to come as Yuriko's plus one." 

Sayaka grimaced, noting the instructions down in her laptop. She would keep some spare invitations just in case. Trust Kirari to want to add uncertainty to even her own wedding. 

What should have been a lazy Saturday turned into more wedding planning. Most of their weekends seemed to, recently. Kirari had wanted to hire a planner, but her more frugal partner convinced her that they should save money for their honeymoon.

Sayaka was beginning to regret that choice. Instead of sleeping in on a rare day off, they were up early, huddled around Sayaka's laptop in the kitchen, coffee and tea in hand. They had to get the majority of the invitations started today, so they could be sent out at a reasonable time before the wedding. And the list of invitees seemed to grow longer each time she looked at it. 

Kirari's doing, she was sure.

Moving further down the list, which was not alphabetized and driving Sayaka crazy, she spotted a surname she assumed wouldn't be there. Momobami? 

"There's someone in your family you still speak to?" 

Kirari hummed, nodding. "Well, yes. Being disowned doesn't stop me from seeing my own twin."

"Your what?" Sayaka whirled around in her seat to look at Kirari. Maybe they didn't go to high school together, meeting in college after Kirari had been ousted from her family, but Sayaka and Kirari had still known each other for ten years now. They were getting married in a couple of months. Kirari never mentioned having siblings, much less a twin.

"My twin, Ririka. Have I never mentioned them?" Kirari looked as nonplussed as ever,  thinking back through the years to any potential mention of Ririka. "No, I suppose I haven't. Well, we can rectify that in time. I'll arrange lunch for you to meet them."

"I…" This wasn't the first time Sayaka found herself speechless in front of Kirari, she certainly doubted it would be the last either. This was the woman she decided to marry and she knew that when she bought the ring. 

Sayaka sighed, bringing up her schedule for the month. It was better to roll with the punches. Ten years of knowing Kirari and seven dating her had taught Sayaka plenty of skills in being flexible. "I have a couple project budgets due and the first quarter taxes to process, so I won't have much free time until next month."

She was working ahead so they could have a long honeymoon. Whoever was covering her should only need to do some light filing work.

Kirari draped herself over her fiancé and looked at the screen, squinting a little without her glasses. Sayaka wordlessly offered her own for her, their prescriptions were close enough to share for a short time. Sayaka's eyes were worse by a decent margin, however. Kirari just needed them to read.

"Next Saturday looks open, shall I ask Ririka if they're free?" 

Sayaka had wanted to go grocery shopping that day, but she supposed she could wake up earlier to get it done before lunch. "Sure, that works." 

"Marvelous." Kirari handed Sayaka back her glasses and kissed her cheek. Once they were done sorting the invitations, they could relax for the rest of the day, which Kirari was eagerly looking forward to. Planning the wedding while they both worked has been exhausting and she dearly missed her lover, despite living in the same home together. 

Forget the wedding, their honeymoon couldn't come sooner. Six months of just the two of them traveling wherever they pleased. Kirari couldn't wait. If she wasn't so insistent in publicizing their wedding to spurn her family, she would've eloped with Sayaka the moment she proposed. 

"So…" Sayaka paused in her typing, hesitant to ask her next set of questions. "What is Ririka-san like? I assume you two get along?"

"Hm?" Kirari pushed away her daydreams of their honeymoon and leaned on Sayaka again. "Of course, we're twins."

"But…"

"Ririka is still a Momobami, while I am nameless, yes?" Kirari took one of Sayaka's hands in her own and started playing with her fingers. "It happened to work out like that. Ririka had been raised in a way that many would see as abusive. I was raised in a place of privilege. Ririka took my place as heir, even as the Momobami family was removed from its position of power. I was tossed away because I caused the clan to lose that power. Traditions must be followed, I suppose, legitamacy be damned."

Sayaka frowned, lacing her fingers in with Kirari's. She had heard the story before, although without knowledge of this elusive twin. Kirari had planned to ruin her family purposefully, because she believed them to be corrupt, in ways she could not ignore. How her twin was raised must have contributed to that. She could guess how Ririka was treated, as many old families had similar traditions regarding twin heirs. One was usually an extra, a fail safe. A shadow to the true heir. 

If they were allowed to live at all.

"I thought you said your cousin took over?"

"Terano took over as leader of the clans, not leader of the Momobami family." Kirari responded, still not the least bit upset, even when speaking about her destitute family. "Ririka stayed to make sure old mistakes were not made again. You'll get along with them, Ririka is much more level headed than I."

"That'll be weird to see." Sayaka cracked a small smile. A person who looked like Kirari but sensible? Madness. 

"Well, they are older than me. Three more minutes of life experience can go a long way." 

Sayaka felt Kirari smile against her cheek. It was fairly obvious that Kirari really loved her twin. It eased Sayaka's mind a little to know that Kirari still had some family to rely on. From the few stories Kirari shared, it was clear that the elders of the family spared no love for their kin. 

Still, one thing was unclear. She pondered how to ask her next question in a noninvasive way. "So, is Ririka-san your identical twin?"

"In all but gender, yes." Kirari sighed, her breath very distracting against Sayaka's ear. "We can no longer fool the masses together, they discarded their womanhood ages ago. Ririka is much more comfortable presenting as neither gender. They won't even humor me anymore."

Sayaka raised an eyebrow at that. Kirari was laying it on thick, even for her. "Why do you care?"

"I don't, not really." Kirari shrugged, her voice light again. "I just like to tease them. I must do my duty as the younger sibling and make sure my 'woes' are properly heard."

Sounded like their relationship was an odd one. But, if Sayaka thought about it, it made sense. After all, Kirari wouldn't have dated her for so long if not presenting as your birth gender bothered her. Whatever their sibling dynamic was, Sayaka doubted that came between them. "I look forward to meeting them, I'm sure they have plenty of stories to tell. From what I've heard, you were quite the problem child."

Kirari giggled, squeezing Sayaka's shoulders. "Oh, you have no idea. I was, and continue to be, a terror. Are you sure you want to marry me?"

Sayaka turned enough in her seat to kiss Kirari. "Do your worst, I'm all in."

-/-

Staying in contact with Kirari was hard. 

When she was first disowned, Ririka felt like their sister had disappeared off the face of the earth. It was three years before she contacted them again, only to let them know she was in Japan once again and was planning to cause problems on purpose.

It very quickly became apparent what Kirari was doing while pretending to attend university. 

Ririka could only watch as old Momobami assets were claimed by their sister one after the other. Well, watch and claim a few of their own. There was a pattern to Kirari's conquest and it was very targeted toward their mother's former empire. Kirari was more spiteful than she seemed. Ririka kept their portion of the clan well supported, but let Kirari wage her war as she pleased. Mother had little power to do anything about it anyway and Kirari was sure to keep it that way. 

The next time Kirari called was to plan a rather mundane lunch. Three more years had passed and Ririka was beginning to doubt that Kirari wanted them in her life. The lunch proved otherwise, as Kirari used the opportunity to ask any and every question she could think of to see how her twin was living and if they were happy. Kirari just lived at a speed too fast for the average person. Ririka understood that they were different people now, but they still found it easy to get caught up in Kirari's pace. 

Ririka and Kirari may be different, but they were still twins. They still knew each other better than any other person possibly could. 

Most of the time.

It was unfortunate that Ririka didn't get to ask too many questions back. Kirari wasn't secretive by nature, but she had a habit of omitting important information unless specifically asked. Maybe if Ririka had asked more questions, they wouldn't have been so shocked when Kirari asked them to meet her fiancé over lunch.

"...fiancé?" Ririka managed to choke out over the receiver. Their brain stalled for a moment. It had been quite some time since Kirari managed to shock them quite this badly.

"Yes, Igarashi Sayaka. You'll get along swimmingly, she's adorable.

That really didn't indicate that they'd get along, but fine. Ririka had bigger concerns. 

"Kirari, please, tell me you've known this girl for longer than a week." 

Kirari laughed, very amused by the idea, and answered affirmatively. "Yes, Sayaka and I have known each other for about ten years now."

And this was the first Ririka had heard of it. Not surprising, but it did sting a little. "How long have you been dating?"

"Seven years." Kirari spoke warmly, making it very clear to Ririka just how much she cared for her soon-to-be wife. "I'll give you your invitation to our wedding at the lunch, I hope you'll be able to make it."

Ririka had to laugh at that. Their sister was so sure of so many things, but she still gave Ririka the benefit of doubt. "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Kirari."

They would have to clear their schedule, but they honestly worked too hard for this family anyway. They could live without Ririka for a while. A couple months vacation sounded good. They could take the time to help Kirari with her wedding, if her wife allowed it. 

For now, however, Ririka had a ripe opportunity to chat with their sister and was going to take full advantage of it.