Chapter Text
Where…am I?
There’s a dull throbbing in Izuku’s head as he walks. He remembers Chisaki experimenting on him, he remembers screaming, watching his body collapse again and again and…where is he now?
His eyes take in his surroundings, what looks like a dark alley in a city somewhere. He can see tall buildings and hear cars, talking, and other humming sounds of life. There’s a cool breeze. He smells cigarette smoke and garbage and car exhaust and food and-
Izuku stops. Is this real? He looks down to see his bare feet have stepped into a puddle. A muddled reflection looks back at him and he has no idea whose face is being reflected back to him.
Is that…me? I don’t look like that…
Izuku stands there in the water for a moment, wondering vaguely when he’s going to come out of this strange dream. He seems to have arms and legs, which doesn’t make any sense. His fingers are moving too, so he knows this isn’t real.
Right?
“Hey there,” a quiet voice says, snapping Izuku out of his thoughts. He looks up, startled to see a pro-hero, one he looks up to a lot. Red wings, googles. A kind smile. Izuku has never met him before so he wonders why he’d be hallucinating him. What is he doing in his dream?
“H-Hawks?” he stammers, voice rough with disuse. The air stretches around him, a ringing echoing in his ears. Izuku reaches out his…hand? When did that come back? His legs tingle and Izuku isn’t sure if he’s really standing or if he’s strapped to the table or if he’s dreaming…
The winged hero comes closer, stopping about five feet in front of Izuku, making slow, cautious movements as if he doesn’t want to scare him off.
“That’s right, kid,” Hawks says calmly, “I’m Hawks, but you can call me Keigo. You’re Izuku, right? Everyone’s been looking all over for you. I’m here to take you home.”
Home.
Izuku doesn’t think before walking-walking how is he walking- forward, dropping to his knees and resting his head against the pro-hero’s chest. He doesn’t understand, but he needs…he needs to go somewhere. His legs, they’re missing. How can he go somewhere with missing legs? How can he fall to his knees when his knees are gone?
“Oh, um, yeah I’ve got you,” Hawks says, sounding startled before he puts a hand on Izuku’s back, “It’s okay.”
“My legs are gone,” Izuku mumbles into Hawks’ chest, “And my…my arms. Chisaki took them. Do you know where they are? I can’t go home without my legs.”
Hawks tightens his grip around the teenager before saying something into a phone that Izuku can’t follow. He feels numb, shaking against the pro-hero as they sit in the alley, the distant sound of sirens coming closer.
“F-fingers…” Izuku gasps, eyes widening, “He took my fingers, all of them, all my fingers and then he put them back and took them again. They’re gone, they’re gone, where are they?”
“It’s going to be alright,” Hawks says, sounding tense and strained, “I’ve got you kid, help’s coming. You have your fingers. And your arms and your legs. I promise.”
Izuku pulls back, looking down at himself in confusion when he sees his limbs are attached.
“But…he took them off,” Izuku says as calmly as if he was discussing the weather, “So many times. He…took me apart and put them back and took them off. I didn’t have legs and now I do. Are they…do you think these are mine?”
Hawks shushes him soothingly, holding him to his chest as the sirens get closer. He can see a few heroes up on the roof of a nearby building, relief flooding him when the ambulance pulls up.
“Hawks! Is that him?” a voice says, making Izuku look up. He recognizes his teacher immediately, but the name won’t come to his lips. Feeling detached from the scene, Izuku stares in bewilderment at his arms, still shocked that they’re there and attached to him. Hadn’t Chisaki disassembled him this morning?
“I think so,” Hawks says tightly, “Look, Eraser, it’s…it’s not good. I don’t think he’s really…present. You should call UA and get the faculty to meet us at the hospital. Something’s not right.”
“Understood,” Eraserhead responds, professionalism covering up any emotion he might be feeling at seeing his missing student again, “They’re already planning to meet us there. Nezu and the rest of the staff.”
Izuku stares as if he’s seeing right through his teacher, raising his hands shakily in front of his eyes.
“Sensei, I don’t think these hands are mine,” he confesses in a dull voice, missing how Aizawa stiffens, “Chisaki took my arms and legs. Do you know where these ones came from? Should I…give them back?”
There’s no response for a moment, but Izuku sees his teacher shift so he’s sitting right in front of him and Hawks on the ground, missing when ambulance doors open and the paramedics come out towards them.
“They’re yours, kid,” Aizawa says firmly, a crack in his voice as he tries to soothe his student, “I promise, you’re in one piece.”
Izuku drifts then, a blur of sound and color wash over him. He hears bits and pieces of conversation, feels himself moving, but he retreats into his head for a while. His arms and legs tingle and he thinks he smells katsudon and there’s the beating of wings and is that really Hawks? His mind races, thoughts churning and before he realizes it, he’s completely buried himself in his own mind.
He’s moved to a hospital room, but he’s unaware as they do tests and scans on him, only remembering panicking when he can’t see Hawks anymore, where did he go, Hawks was supposed to take him home. He’s screaming now, why is he screaming?
But then Hawks is there, telling him it’s going to be okay and that he’s fine and Izuku calms, feeling feathers surround him as he drifts again.
“His mental state is clearly unstable,” Izuku’s doctor is saying to the UA staff in the hospital hallway, “There’s no telling exactly what happened to him, although we can guess from his physical state.”
“How extensive are his injuries?” All Might asks gravely, standing surrounded by a few police officers, Detective Tsukauchi, and several of the UA faculty. He’s in his weakened form, but he still holds himself like the number one hero, proud and tall. Worry is etched in the tension in his body, and anyone could tell how agitated the hero is.
“He doesn’t have any,” the doctor replies, a few of their eyes widening in surprise, “Other than obvious signs he has been under an enormous amount of stress, he is in better physical health than he was during his last check up at UA.”
A tense silence follows this statement until All Might breaks it.
“So what’s the problem? If he’s in better health than when he left?” he asks, sounding as if he doesn’t want to know the answer.
“Because it means Overhaul tortured him,” Aizawa interjects, feeling sick to his stomach at the words, “It’s his quirk; he can dissaessmble and reassemble matter, erasing past injuries if he wants. But living through it can cause massive psychological trauma. All of his previously known victims are either dead or in mental institutions.”
A ringing silence is in the hall now, interrupted only by Present Mic cursing and the sound of Cementoss hitting the wall with his fist.
“We need to intervene, and soon if we want to help him,” Aizawa continues, “What about Midoriya's mother?”
“She’s been notified that Izuku is in the hospital, but we have to interview him before she can visit,” Principal Nezu says, “We have no idea the state that Overhaul left him in or what happened to him over the last ten days. That is why Tsukauchi is here.”
Tsukauchi nods grimly, “I’m not sure if my lie detection quirk will really work in the state he’s in. Hawks told me the kid could barely recognize his own body. He might not be able to tell fantasy from reality. Who is in the room with him now?”
“Just Hawks,” Nezu replies calmly, “It seems Midoriya was very attached to him, he refused to let go of him in the ambulance ride on the way here and became very distressed. Given his condition, Hawks agreed to stay with him until he calms down. However, I think one of the UA faculty should also be present during Tsukauchi’s initial interview. Aizawa, as Midoryia’s homeroom teacher, I think it should be you.”
“I agree,” Aizawa says, walking towards Izuku’s hospital room, “Let’s see if we can get through to him.”
“Let us know how it goes, Shou,” Present Mic says to Aizawa, making prolonged eye contact before Aizawa and Tsukauchi enter the room.
The first thing the two men notice is Hawks, leaning casually against the wall, eyes on his little charge. Despite being one of the most powerful students in 1-A, Midoriya has always been small, and he looks even more so now, balled up on the floor with his knees to his chest. Aizawa takes note that most of Midoryia’s hair has turned white, only a few streaks of black and green remaining. His fingernails look black and sickly, and his overall pallor is pale as a ghost.
Aizawa blanches when he realizes all this is what the doctor meant by ‘obvious signs of extreme stress.’
“Midoriya?” Aizawa calls calmly, to no response, “Mid…Izuku, can you hear me?”
Izuku doesn’t react, staring at the wall with the same blank expression as when they first entered.
“How long has he been like this?” Tsukauchi quietly asks Hawks, moving to sit down in a chair, keeping a wary eye on the teenager.
“Since we got in the ambulance,” Hawks murmurs, “Kid started panicking when I tried to let go of him, so I figured it’d be best if I stuck around for a while.”
Tsukauchi frowns, “Do you two know each other?”
“No,” Hawks sighs, “I think he’s just attached to me because I found him. First friendly face in a while, I guess. Poor kid.”
“Izuku?” Aizawa says gently, trying to get his student’s attention again, “Can you tell us what happened?”
The question seems to stir something in Izuku, who blinks and looks down at himself, surprise in his eyes when he sees his shaking hands.
“They’re still all attached,” he says in an odd voice. If Aizawa wasn’t looking at him, he wouldn’t have been able to identify it as Izuku. There’s no life in it at all.
“Your…limbs?” Aizawa guesses, recalling that Izuku was panicking about this when he saw him in the alley.
“Yeah,” Izuku says, “They’re attached. I’m attached. All put together.”
“That’s right,” Detective Tsukauchi says calmly, “Were you not put together before?”
“Chisaki took me apart,” Izuku says evenly, “Took me apart and put me back together. Over and over and over and over and over and over…”
Aizawa reaches a hand out as if to hug Izuku, but thinks better of it at the last moment.
“Izuku, what’s the last thing you remember before you came here?” Detective Tsukauchi continues, the glint in his eyes the only hint at the emotions he’s feeling from Izuku’s words.
“Feathers,” Izuku murmurs, voice sounding rusty and flat, “Red feathers. Hawks.”
“Yeah, it was me, little sparrow,” Hawks says, moving to sit on the floor next to him, “You called my name when you saw me. Do you remember that?”
Izuku doesn’t respond, he just leans over and curls a gentle hand against Hawks’ wing before whispering, “Soft.”
"He isn't in a state to be interviewed," Tsukauchi observes quietly, "Not right now. We need to get him stable first."
“Izuku,” Aizawa says, trying to keep his student tethered to reality, “You’ve been missing for ten days. You were kidnapped by Chisaki Kai, Overhaul. You’re in the hospital now. We think Overhaul released you and Hawks found you in the city. Do you remember?”
Izuku just hums under his breath, gently stroking Hawks’ flight feathers and doesn’t respond. Hawks very gently puts an arm over the kid’s shoulder to give him some support. The reaction is immediate as Izuku buries against Hawks, practically climbing into his lap to get closer.
“Whoa, hey there bud,” Hawks says, surprised when he suddenly has an armful of teenager. Izuku doesn’t say anything, he just presses his face against Hawks’ shoulder and exhales, exhaustion apparent in his movements.
“He seems really attached to you,” Aizawa observes, surprised at the clingy behavior. It’s unsettling to see Midoriya acting so small and frightened. He’s having a hard time comparing this timid, scared child to the confident student he’s had in his classes the last few months.
“You think?” Hawks says sarcastically, awkwardly rubbing Izuku’s back, “I mean…I’m glad he’s comfortable with someone after everything he went through.”
Aizawa nods, sharing a look with Tsukauchi before asking Hawks, “Would you mind coming back to UA with us after he’s discharged? He could use some stability.”
Hawks nods, keeping a hand on Izuku’s back, “Yeah, sure. I’ll stick around for the little guy, no problem.”
Izuku doesn’t react at all, curling closer to Hawks’ chest and continuing to hum off-key absently as he runs pale hands through Hawks’ feathers.
“UA?” Tsukauchi asks quietly, “Not home?”
Aizwa shakes his head, “Until we know the full extent of what’s happened to him, he needs to be somewhere he can be monitored in case something goes wrong. His quirk has been shown to be unstable in the past. It’s too dangerous for him to go back to his mother’s apartment.”
“Of course, that makes sense,” Tsukauchi says, “He shouldn’t be alone, though. Who’s his closest friend at school? Maybe they could stay with him.”
“He needs the support of his friends, but I’m not putting all that responsibility on a teenager,” Aizawa says, “Hawks, I know it’s a lot to ask, but could you stay with Izuku in the dorms? I’ll be there as well, along with All Might and a few of the other teachers.”
Hawks just nods, continuing to hold Izuku close. “Yeah, I have to admit, I’m getting kind of attached to the kid,” he smiles, “I mean, it's kind of hard not to be when he’s literally clinging to me.”
Aizawa stares up at the dorms where his class is currently living, steeling himself for the conversation he’s about to have. He’s sent word ahead to have 1-A meet him in their common area, ready to update them on the situation about Midoriya. Hawks and the kid will be back shortly, so he needs to update his class.
God, his problem child. Aizawa still feels like he’ll be sick if he thinks too hard about the light pink scarring all over Izuku’s body and the way his hair has turned white. When he thinks about how Izuku was essentially dismemebered over and over it makes him want to simultaneously vomit and commit murder.
Taking another deep breath, Aizawa walks into the dorms, preparing himself for the onslaught of questions.
“Sensei!” he hears, looking up to see the whole class gathered in the common room, most looking anxious and tense.
“Midoriya has been found and is being released from the hospital as we speak,” Aizawa begins, wanting to make sure that they know he’s alive.
“Is Deku okay? What happened?” Uraraka asks, tears in her eyes.
“Everyone, sit,” Aizawa instructs, waiting for them all to settle before continuing, “As you all know, Midoriya went missing ten days ago on patrol with Mirio while working for Nighteye’s agency. They were attempting to rescue a girl from Overhaul. Mirio rescued the girl, Eri, but in the chaos Overhaul kidnapped Midoriya.”
The students nod, all looking grim even though they already know the story.
“I will not be sharing the explicit details of what happened over those ten days with you,” Aizawa says sternly, “What little we know is classified and it isn’t my story to tell. It’s important for you all to know that If it weren’t for security concerns, Midoriya would not be coming back to school this soon. Do not push him. Do not ask him questions about what happened.”
“What…what do we say?” Kaminari asks nervously, “I mean, what should we say to him?”
Aizawa sighs, figuring he needs to be blunt, “Tell him you’re happy he’s back. Treat him as normally as you can. And don’t stare.”
“Stare?”
It was at that moment that Hawks opened the door to the dorms, hand-in-hand with Izuku. They’re followed in by Present Mic and All Might, both looking uncharacteristically serious. There’s more than a few quiet gasps when the class realizes that the frail, white-haired kid at the heroes’ side is their previously missing classmate.
“D-Deku?”
“Holy shit is that Hawks?”
“What’s wrong with his hair?”
Izuku makes no response at hearing his hero name, he simply looks forward blankly and keeps his hand in Hawks’ gloved one.
“Hey, where’s your dorm room?” Hawks asks him cheerfully, swinging Izuku’s hand a little, “I hear these dorms are awesome, I’d love to see your room.”
Izuku doesn’t react to that either, reaching over instead to gently run his fingers along Hawks’ long flight feathers, the spacey look still in his eyes as he makes no acknowledgement of his classmates.
“It’s, um, upstairs and to the right,” Uraraka says, sounding very unsure, “D-Deku’s dorm room, I mean.”
“Cool, thanks,” Hawks grins, gently tugging Izuku along, “Come on, sparrow.”
While Hawks takes Izuku up the stairs, the rest of the class watches silently, none of them missing how blank their friend looks. Mic and All Might make their way over to Aizawa to continue the conversation with the class.
“What’s…wrong with him?” Iida asks once they’re out of sight, sounding more unsure than Aizawa’s ever heard his student.
“Listen,” Aizawa says calmly, “We can’t tell you much, however I do believe you are entitled to know the minimum of what happened, not only as his future hero partners, but as his friends and classmates.”
There’s a tense silence in the room as Aizawa tries to think of the words. How can he look these kids in the face and explain? How do you talk about such horrific acts of violence to children? Children who have already seen too much, let alone having to deal with something like this.
Feeling the weight of the responsibility, Aizawa sits down with a sigh, threading his fingers together and opening his mouth to explain.
“He was tortured, wasn’t he?” Todoroki asks before Aizawa can speak, “Overhaul tortured him. I heard my father discussing it as a possibility.”
Someone gasps, Uraraka, Aizawa thinks, before questions start flooding from the group. Aizawa simply raises a hand until the noise stops. As tactless as it was, Aizawa is grateful that Todoroki stated the truth so bluntly. It means that they’re one step closer to accepting that this happened to their friend.
“Yes, he was,” Aizawa says, chest clenching when he watches his students begin to process this.
“Oh my god,” Mina sobs, dropping her head on Tsu’s shoulder. From the corner, Bakugo punches a wall and retreats into the kitchen, a stormy expression on his face.
“B-But Overhaul,” Sero stammers, “He…isn’t he the villain who can disassemble and reassemble matter? Is…did he do that to Deku?”
“Yes,” Mic interjects seriously, “I’m sure you can all understand the weight of what that means for Midoriya.”
Several students look ashen and Aizawa watches as a few of them begin to cry.
“Oh my god,” Kaminari stammers, “So…so he’s been… fuck.”
Aizawa doesn’t scold him for swearing, sensing how disturbed the students are.
“Is that why Deku’s hair changed?” Jero asks timidly.
“Yes, the doctors believe that was stress induced,” Aizawa says, “We’re telling you this not to disturb you, but so you understand the gravity of the situation. We honestly don’t know the extent of what was done to him or if he will be able to recover. Midoriya is very unstable right now. He may not respond to any of you for a long time. But he needs you. He needs his friends and he needs the stability of this class.”
Silence follows this statement, a few sniffles and sobs the only thing heard in the room.
“Senseis? Why is Hawks here?” Sato asks tentatively after a moment.
“Hawks is the one who rescued Midoriya. He volunteered to stay with him while he recovers in the dorms,” All Might says quietly.
“Hawks is going to live here? With us?” Kirishima asks, shock evident in his voice.
“Just for a while, until we know more about what’s going on with Midoriya,” Aizawa responds, “Now, listen, I know this is a lot to take in. I know you have more questions. But right now, what you all need, what we all need, is rest. Tomorrow we will hold classes as normal. Structure is important in times of crisis. And in addition, each of you will have a mandatory counseling session with Hound Dog before the end of the week.”
“Yes, Sensei,” they all say, looking so defeated and unsure it makes Aizawa want to scream.
“And I’m staying here in the dorms, too,” he says evenly, pleased when he sees some of the tension leave their shoulders, “Along with Hawks, Midnight, All Might, and Present Mic. If you need us at any time, do not hesitate to find us. One of us will always be awake in one of the common areas, at least for the time being.”
In Izuku’s room, Keigo is a little surprised by all of the hero merch. He’s touched to see that Izuku has a poster of him, one of the limited edition ones. The kid is sitting on the bed, clearly not totally with it.
“Izuku, you need to sleep,” Keigo says after a moment, “Do you, uh, want to change your clothes? I’m sure you have some awesome All Might pajamas, right?”
Izuku doesn’t move, just stares at the wall, looking unsettled.
“Too…much,” Izuku finally says.
“What is?” Keigo asks, sitting next to him on the bed.
Izuku swallows, looking around the room. “The…the colors. There’s…too much in here. It’s too messy. Can’t…sleep like this. Mess makes...things worse."
Keigo’s not exactly sure what Izuku is talking about, but he senses that he needs to make the space calmer. He quietly goes around the room, gently taking down Izuku’s various posters and figurines, carefully moving to store them in the closet. After a few quiet minutes, the room looks much emptier and Izuku seems to relax a bit.
“Is that better?” Keigo asks, relieved when Izuku nods, “Okay, kid, let’s sleep. I’ll be just down the hall-”
“Don’t leave,” Izuku says desperately, “P-Please, I…”
“Hey, it’s alright,” Keigo says immediately, “I’ll stay. C’mere.”
It should be weird, Keigo thinks, letting this kid sleep on him after barely knowing him for a day, but he can’t help but feel protective. He settles down on the bed, leaning against the headboard and Izuku curls on his chest, curling shaky fingers into Hawks’ shirt.
“I’ve got your back, little sparrow,” Hawks murmurs, using the affectionate nickname he’s started thinking of for Izuku, “You’re safe now. Sleep.”