Chapter Text
1)
Tessa let out a sigh of relief as Duke appeared at her elbow, cutting in and ending her dance with Kirk Steele. Steele pretended to be gracious and Tessa pretended to be sorry as they parted. Duke swept her into his own arms and led her across the ballroom in an impossibly smooth waltz. Her deep crimson gown clung in all the right places, but flared enough at the bottom to let her keep up with his long strides. Duke was a good lead, and she was—as always—happy to follow him.
“You’re amazing,” he breathed into her ear.
The combination of the sentiment and the sensation made her shiver, but Tessa did her best to cover it up with a laugh. “You don’t even know if I was successful.”
“Weren’t you though?”
“Of course I was,” she said,
her grin matching his own.
He nodded. “I could feel your relief as soon as I took your hand.”
“That was just for getting out of Kirk Steele’s clutches. I’d much rather be dancing with you.” Tessa winked like it was a joke, though it very much was not.
Duke just laughed, and she could feel him too. Her empathic powers weren’t reading relief from him though; he had never doubted her. Instead, waves of triumph were rolling off him like a cool cologne. Outwardly, he wore a pleasant smile, as if they were making standard work function small talk, but inside, he was almost giddy with victory. Well, as close to giddy as Duke Vale ever allowed himself to be.
She was used to seeing him in suits, but this tuxedo was next level. That, combined with his arctic good looks and the glow of victory he was emanating under the chandeliers’ lights made Tessa decide he had never looked handsomer than he did right now. She let her body drift closer to his as the waltz faded into another, slower song. She twined her arms around his neck and marveled at how close they were at that moment; how much closer they could be if she just arched up a little…
SO MISSION ACCOMPLISHED OR WHAT?
Tessa winced as Andi’s voice filled her head.
You don’t have to shout, Tessa telepathically reminded the other girl. And yes , she broadcasted her thoughts to the rest of the Syndicate now, all of them undercover and sprinkled throughout the ballroom. Mission accomplished. Andi let out a whoop and Tessa cringed again. Duke smiled at her sympathetically.
“Andi still working on her thought volume control?”
“Not hard enough,” Tessa shook her head, though she was still smiling. “But at least we have a nice strong link.” She grimaced. “Sorry, I-”
“Don’t be,” Duke said, lightly squeezing her hip. “Just because everyone else can hear you and broadcast to you without touching you doesn’t mean you and I won’t get there. And until then, I can think of worse things than being in physical contact with a beautiful woman in order to communicate telepathically.”
Tessa was too flustered to begin to respond to that, but luckily was saved by another teammate.
So can we get out of here already? Renzei asked, his voice a gentle sotto in her mind. Tessa relayed the question to Duke.
He nodded. “Tell everyone you and I will have to say proper goodbyes to the big donors and VIP guests, but we’ll meet them at the rendezvous point in half an hour.”
Tessa broadcasted the directive to the other Syndicate members, and reluctantly let Duke go as he guided them off the dance floor to start making their exit. Normally, work-related galas were something Tessa was happy to leave early, but she had been having such a good time dancing with Duke the past few minutes, she was almost sorry to go. Still, this whole charity ball had been little more than a cover for the real mission: Lure out Optimus executive Kirk Steele, get close to him, and use her fine motor telepathy skills to plant a microscopic tracker on him. Now, the mission was accomplished, but the real work had just begun. It was time to debrief and prepare for the next phase, not indulge in schoolgirl fantasies about her hot boss/the leader of their vigilante syndicate.
She and Duke made the rounds; him the charming CEO of Chatsphere, her, his ever-present right hand woman. With Duke being the fiercely private man he was, the tabloids were fond of speculating that there might be more going on between the two of them than a very close working relationship. The gossips were right, but not in the way they thought. Tessa and Duke spent many, many hours together outside of the office. But rather than having lovers’ trysts, this time was spent training, planning, and running covert missions in order to take down the secretly evil empire that was Optimus Tech. Some of it was incredibly intimate, but none of it had ever been romantic.
And yet.
She hoped it wasn’t just wishful thinking, but Tessa had felt like she was getting a vibe lately. Like her unreciprocated crush might not be so one-sided after all. She had done a good job over the past year of hiding her feelings for Duke whilst spending a majority of her waking hours with him, and had never dared to hope anything would happen between them. But things had seemed a little different recently, hadn’t they?
“Tessa?”
“Ah-hm?”
Duke’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “The Senator asked if you’ve enjoyed yourself.”
Tessa blushed, smiling charmingly at the senator in question. “Very much,” she said. “It’s barely ten and I think I’m ready for bed.”
The older man grinned back, hearty goodnight handshakes were had all around, and she and Duke moved on to the next set of exit pleasantries. When they were finally finished thanking all the bigwigs who had come out to donate to Chatsphere’s latest good cause (and help cover for the Syndicate’s subterfuge), they escaped out to the street and walked quickly down the block before lingering event paparazzi could catch and grill them.
They made their way quickly to the spot where the Syndicate had arranged to meet up after the mission. Down an alley and through a hole in a tall fence, they found the other members waiting in a tiny courtyard surrounded by buildings that were long dark for the day. Lorelei and Andi both wore formal gowns, while Zeke and Renzei—like Duke—sported tuxedos. Used to seeing most of her cohorts in casual street clothes or their spandex and kevlar uniforms, Tessa goggled a bit at the spectacle, and had to admit they all cleaned up pretty well.
“Well don’t you all look like a million bucks?” Bat’s robotic voice piped up from a small approaching drone. “Almost enough to make me wanna leave my cave and play out in the field!”
“Really?!” Andi squealed.
“No,” Bat deadpanned. The drone executed a somehow mocking spin maneuver.
“Alright,” Duke said, quietly bringing everyone to order. “Bat, I assume you’ve now got eyes on Steele?”
“Tracker’s working like a charm. Right now he’s still just moving around the party, but in the next few days I should have locations for his home, private office, any super secret squirrel Optimus locations, alladat.”
“Great,” Duke said. “Great work everyone.”
He said “everyone,” but his satisfied smirk was directed right at Tessa. Warmth curled low in her belly as she bit back a grin.
You’re amazing , said a voice inside her head. She blinked, still looking at Duke, but knew it hadn’t been him. She turned and saw Renzei leaning against a brick wall, his eyes on her, a small smile playing across his lips.
I don’t know about that , she thought back at him.
Take the compliment. In fact, here’s another: you look amazing too.
Tessa was almost startled into a self-conscious laugh. You don’t look half bad yourself, birdie .
He grinned wide now, slouching and shaking his head, but clearly pleased.
Huh. Was Renzei...coming onto her? Granted, usually if Renzei’s mouth was moving, he was flirting, but it was always a show, a performance for all to enjoy and participate in. He seemed to enjoy flattering, teasing, and embarrassing each of them in equal measure. He had said some truly sweet and truly outrageous things to her in the middle of group training exercises, but he never said anything like that to her in private, especially not in her head. She knew this dress was flattering but-
“So we’ll reconvene at HQ Sunday evening.” Duke’s voice jerked her back to reality. “That should give Steele enough time to show us all his little haunts.”
Everyone agreed and began to drift apart, each member of the Syndicate making their respective way home. Tessa and Duke fell into step as usual, but when they got back to the street, Renzei touched her elbow.
“I can walk you home,” he said.
“Oh-” she started.
“That’s alright,” Duke cut in. “I’m going that way.”
“I don’t mind,” Renzei said.
“Don’t you live south?” Duke countered.
“It’s not that f-”
“Boys,” Tessa spoke up. “I don’t actually need anyone to walk me home. I can do more than think at bad guys, remember?”
They both rushed to reassure her.
“Of course we know you’re more than capable-” Duke said.
“You choked me out yesterday!” Renzei added, speaking of their most recent roll on the jiu jitsu mats. “But walking a lady home is still the gentlemanly thing to do.”
“Exactly,” Duke agreed, but looked perturbed. “Anyway like I said, you’re practically on my way.”
“Though it’s not far out of mine either,” Renzei put in.
Tessa glanced back and forth between the two men, fighting the temptation to peek into their thoughts right now. Well, she would have to touch Duke to start poking around in his mind anyway, and the only thing more uncomfortable than the thought of violating her teammates like that was the thought of getting caught doing it. Regardless, it was really no contest if she was going to decide this weird little competition.
“Thanks anyway Renz,” she shrugged. “But like Duke said, I’m on his way so…”
“Right,” Renzei said, his voice soft but somehow tight. “Okay then…goodnight.”
“Goodnight,” she and Duke said together.
They parted ways on the sidewalk; she and Duke walking north, Renzei heading south. Tessa was grateful for any extra time she got to spend alone with Duke, but had to wonder if there was something more behind his insistence than just chivalry. Maybe she wasn’t imagining things when she thought she noticed his eyes or hands lingering just a bit longer than professionally or platonically necessary lately. Feeling bold, she slipped her hand around his arm as they walked. He responded by crooking his arm and pulling her just a bit closer, his hold on her warm and steadying. She drank in the cool notes of his aftershave, but tried not to enjoy this proximity too much. Since they were touching, their connection was open. After a few poignantly embarrassing moments early on in her discovering her telepathy, Tessa had learned quickly how not to broadcast her thoughts by accident, but it was always harder not to “leak” when she was excited. Even if she could control her thoughts pretty easily, and make a conscious effort not to probe at Duke’s, their feelings floated and mingled in the channel quite openly, lapping pleasantly at one another. Tessa felt a mixture of nerves and contentment, warmth and anxiety, longing and doubt. She had a brief moment of panic as she tried to hide these emotions from Duke, and then realized they were flowing both ways. He seemed to be feeling the same things she was.
They didn’t talk much over the few blocks to her apartment, both seemingly enjoying each other’s company and lost in their own thoughts at the same time. The silence was companionable, but also somehow fraught, though not unpleasantly so. Before she knew it, they were at her building. Tessa took a deep breath. She had come to a decision. Maybe.
She turned to face him on the stoop, letting her hand trail from his arm down to his hand. “Thank you for walking me home.” She let her fingers brush against his––testing, offering.
“My pleasure,” he said, catching her hand in his, reciprocating.
Tessa’s heartbeat quickened. She wasn’t crazy. The desire radiating off of him was unmistakable now. He wanted her. He wanted her the way she wanted him. It was happening. It was really happening. She hoped she could get this out without stuttering.
“Would you like to come upstairs?” Tessa said, stepping closer.
“Upstairs?” Duke echoed, his eyes on her lips.
“Upstairs,” she affirmed. “For a cup of coffee, or…”
She pressed up onto her tiptoes, needing to close the last bit of space between them. For one eternal, terrifying, devastating moment she was in midair, alone, and with her deepest desires laid bare… Then Duke leaned down to meet her there, his lips melding to hers, his hand tightening around hers, an explosion of bliss flooding the channel between them.
And then he was gone.
Their telepathic link slammed shut as he broke the physical contact. Tessa’s lips, hands, hips, everywhere that had been touching him suddenly felt cold with his absence. He had only backed up a step, but it felt like there were suddenly miles between them.
“I’m- I’m sorry-” he stammered.
“For what?”
“For that. We can’t- I shouldn’t have-”
“I wanted you to,” Tessa rushed to reassure him. “I want us to.”
“No,” he said, backing up another step. “We- we can’t.”
“Sure we can,” she said, her throat tight as she neared panic. “I mean, why not?”
He just shook his head. He couldn’t even look at her now. “I’m sorry, Tessa. I really am. Please, let’s just forget this ever happened.”
Tessa would have preferred a physical gut punch to the emotional one she was trying to breathe through now. I don’t understand. I know you want this too. I can feel it goddammit! Luckily, without them touching, Duke couldn’t hear her pathetic pleas, and she did her best to reign her emotions in too. She didn’t need him feeling her devastation and humiliation. She didn’t know what was going on, except that she had just put herself all the way out there, and been soundly rejected by a man she would have to see again very shortly, and very often, in a professional and avocational capacity. Tessa was determined to salvage any last shred of her dignity that she could, so she shrugged and tried for a wry grin even as tears filled her eyes. “Forget what ever happened?”
Duke finally looked at her again, and for a moment she felt him reaching out to her even though he didn’t move. She stood stock still and concentrated all her will on keeping her heart and mind closed to him.
“I really am sorry.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be. It was my fault, my misjudgment, and I’m sorry. Incredibly so. It won’t happen again. Goodnight, Duke.”
She faintly heard him say goodnight back, but Tessa was inside her building and striding up the stairs before the vestibule door had even swung shut behind her. She hiked up to the third floor, the pain in her high-heeled feet suddenly nothing compared to the searing ache in her chest. Along with the sting of rejection wrapped in throbbing shame, there was a healthy dose of confusion. She had been picking up on his feelings for her for weeks, hadn’t she? And tonight, he had kissed her back, hadn’t he? Or was it all just in her mind? Had she become delusional in her desperation? Was it possible she had just been projecting her own desires onto him after all?
Tessa shut and locked her apartment door behind her, then slumped against it, hot and cold flashes washing over her. She didn’t know whether she wanted to break every single stick of furniture she owned, or cry until she shriveled up and died of dehydration. She took a shaking breath and tasted salt as tears ran from both eyes into the corners of her mouth.
So, crying then.
Before she could let loose a good wail though, she was startled by a sound at her window. Tessa hastily scrubbed at her cheeks and ran across the room. She swung the window open and leaned out to look down at the street below. Alas, Duke wasn’t there, throwing ice cubes and holding up a boom box playing Peter Gabriel. No one was.
“Hey.”
Tessa gasped and turned toward the voice. Renzei was floating next to the window, still wearing his tuxedo, though the bowtie hung loose and he had opened the stiff white shirt a few buttons.
“Can I come in?”
Tessa almost laughed at the surreality. Almost. “I’m getting serious vampire vibes right now,” she quipped, hoping to brazen through any tears he might notice still drying on her cheeks. “If I say yes, are you going to bite me?”
“Only if you promise to bite back.” Renzei smirked, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Concern rolled off him in warm waves. Tessa sighed.
“Well if you’re gonna threaten me with a good time,” she deadpanned, swiping at her eyes again as she stepped back from the window to let him in.
He alighted on the sill, then folded his tall frame into her apartment with avian grace. The San Francisco night air came in with him, a cool breeze caressing her face and drying her tears.
“Thanks,” she said, realizing he was using his wind powers.
“You ok?”
She nodded. “Yeah. Yep. I just, um…” Tessa didn’t know how to convince Renzei that while she had clearly been crying, she was also somehow ok. It turned out she didn’t have to.
“Listen,” he said. “I came up to check on you because, well, I saw everything.”
Tessa blinked at him. “You saw…everything? Like…”
“I saw you and Duke downstairs. I saw him, um, leave.”
“Oh god,” Tessa groaned. “You mean you saw me shoot my shot and get totally fucking faced.”
“No,” Renzei said, suddenly full of vehemence. “I saw one of the most intelligent men of our time fuck up the best thing that could ever happen to him.”
“Well it’s nice of you to frame it that way, but the result remains the same. I made my move, he politely declined, and now I have to see him in less than forty-eight hours for Syndicate business, and then all day every day next week at Chatsphere where I spend most of my time literally right next to him. And probably some of those nights too at Syndicate HQ, and out on patrols and missions and… Christ what was I thinking?”
“The same thing we all were: that he liked you back.”
“Wait. What? Who’s ‘we all?’”
“The Syndicate.”
“You all thought he felt the same way?”
“Yeah.”
“Wait, you all knew I had feelings for him?!”
“Um, yeah.” There was an unspoken “duh” at the end of Renzei’s reply.
Tessa swallowed thickly. “Just when I thought I had reached the pinnacle of humiliation.”
“Trust me, no one is going to think you’re the stupid one here. You like a guy, he starts giving you rhythm back, you take the brave but calculated risk of putting yourself out there, and he chokes. You are in no way the idiot in this equation, Tess. You’re smart, and funny, and powerful, and you don’t even know how beautiful…” Renzei trailed off, and Tessa could feel him struggling to hold his emotions in and away from her. She was careful not to let herself probe him with her powers, but settled her gaze on him until he looked back at her.
“Renz, what were you doing outside my building anyway?”
His mouth opened, but for a moment no sound came out. Renzei, without a quip? This must be serious. Tessa waited. He shut his mouth, put his hands in his pockets, took them out again, and finally spoke.
“I had to see.”
His answer only raised more questions. “You had to see what?”
“Well, like I said, we’ve all been watching you and Duke do this mating dance for a while now. After watching you two be prom king and queen at the gala together, and then him insisting on walking you home, I was pretty sure tonight was the night one or both of you would finally make a move.”
“Jeez, were you all taking bets too?”
“Andi was,” Renzei huffed without humor.
“So, what? You followed us here to see if you’d won the pool?”
“No! I wasn’t part of that,” he spat, his high cheekbones coloring. “I didn’t think it was funny, and I didn’t follow you home over some cheap bet.”
Tessa blinked at him. “Then what-”
“I knew the two of you getting together was just a matter of time, and that I would have to deal with it, so I thought it would be easier, or just faster maybe, like ripping off a band-aid, you know? If I could just see it for myself. Then I wouldn’t have to wonder any more, or for any longer than I had to, and I could start trying to… I’d finally have no choice but to…to get over you.”
“I don’t…” Tessa was going to say “understand,” but she was afraid she did.
Renzei tried for a smirk, but it was more like a grimace. “I didn’t mean to tell you like this. I didn’t actually mean to tell you at all.”
“Why…why not?”
“Like I said, it was obvious to everyone within a ten mile radius that you only had eyes for Duke. I knew I didn’t have any kind of chance, especially when he finally pulled his head out of his ass and noticed you back. Once I saw that ball start rolling, I knew I had to just be content being your friend. And I was. But it’s painful, you know, burning for someone like that, and watching them be head over heels for someone else. I knew if I didn’t do something to get my head on straight, I was going to have trouble playing it cool around HQ when you and Duke finally walked in together one day holding hands. So tonight I saw the opportunity to do some serious aversion therapy I guess? I thought watching you two crazy kids finally link up would be enough to kill the last secret ember of hope I’d been keeping alive.”
Tessa nodded. She was still processing a hundred questions and a thousand feelings, but mostly following. “I get it, I think. Renzei I’m sor-”
“But then Duke went and fucked that up too,” Renzei said, his eyes wide and as conflicted as she felt. “And I am absolutely crushed for you, but also ecstatic for me, and at the same time I kind of want to murder Duke, and I don’t really know what to do about any of that…” He took a deep breath. “Listen, I know I’m not the one you want, but you’re it for me. I’m not trying to make this about me or my feelings, but you should know you are someone’s first choice. And no matter what, I just care about you. And I knew you would be up here alone and upset, so…here I am. I don’t know what could possibly make you feel better right now, but I make a mean cup of tea, I know a little massage, and I’m not a big hugger, but for you that’s on the menu. I just want to help any way I can. So, what do you need? A back rub? Spicy ramen? Some sad but hot rebound sex?”
Tessa was surprised into a laugh. “A hug sounds great, as does an incredibly emotionally messy rebound roll in the hay, actually.” The words were out of her mouth before she had time to think about what she was saying. She felt herself blush deep crimson as the idea took hold in her mind and filled her body with tingling heat. “I’m sorry. I know you were kidding; I shouldn’t have said that. Not that- I mean, over the past year of training and doing missions and stuff together, I’ve seen you mostly naked, I’ve definitely seen you dance, and you joke so much about having worked as an escort that I don’t think it’s actually a joke—I have no doubt you’re amazing in bed. But putting aside my own baser instincts to fuck the pain away, I think it would probably be even more messed up for you.”
His gray eyes danced with mischief. “Why? Because I’m the one with actual feelings involved?”
“I mean…”
“I wasn’t kidding.”
“Hm?”
“I admit I didn’t exactly expect you to take me up on it, but I wouldn’t have offered anything I wasn’t prepared to give. I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”
“I know,” Tessa said. “But I can take care of you too, alright? I don’t want you to do anything you’re going to regret.”
Something flickered across Renzei’s face. “I can’t believe you’re worried about me at a time like this. How are you so good?”
“I’m not,” Tessa said, her gaze roaming over his tall, lean figure with fresh eyes. “I’m pessimistic, and quick-tempered. I tend toward addictive behavior, and I hate feeling my feelings when I can avoid it. So if you’re offering to help me not feel them now, I might just take you up on it.”
“I promise I didn’t come up here to creep on you at your most vulnerable.”
“I know.” And she did. Tessa didn’t even have to read his mind to see he was sincere.
He nodded. “Well, while I am thrilled at the prospect of making you forget everything up to and including your own name for at least a little while, it’s important to me that you don’t do anything you’ll regret either. So, we can take it slow. Pump the brakes or change your mind at any point if you decide you just want a foot rub and a sandwich instead, or for me to fuck off completely. I promise I won’t be hurt, and I would never pressure you. I only want you to feel good.”
She nodded, touched. “I appreciate that. And I wouldn’t even be thinking about it if I didn’t trust you. I just…it might be awkward.” She grimaced, suddenly nervous.
Renzei smiled. “Oh it’s gonna be awkward.”
Tessa smiled back. “I mean it! I’m not sure how in control of my powers I am right now. I might project some thoughts you’d rather not have in your brain. My very complicated feelings will probably start leaking all over you-”
“So you might accidentally call me Duke and start choking me-”
She actually laughed at that. “Renz!”
“Look,” he said, taking a step toward her. “I’m ready for awkward. I’m ready for angry. If you wanna just stop in the middle and use me for a punching bag instead, that’s also a service I can offer.”
“Be serious.”
“I am. But this doesn’t have to be. In the grand scheme of things, what’s an orgasm or six between friends?”
Tessa lifted her eyebrows at him. “Six? Is that the both of us combined or…”
He didn’t banter back, instead just looking at her. His gaze was brashly smoldering but somehow still intensely vulnerable. Tessa took a step forward, close enough to touch now. She started to reach for his hand but hesitated a moment, reassuring herself that he would not pull away. She and Renzei knew where they stood with one another. She wasn’t offering her heart up on a platter for him to either accept or chew up and spit back out. There was comfort in the stakes being significantly lower than when she’d offered her hand to Duke earlier. There was power in knowing Renzei wanted this just as much as—even more than––she did. There was no denying the lust she felt simmering just below the surface of her fear. Sexual frustration, unspent emotional energy, the temptation to lose herself in someone else, if only for a night, or a moment. She took his hand.
“Is this ok, really?” she asked. “I feel like you deserve better.”
He let out a short, breathless laugh. “I beg to differ. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, Tessa.”
“Even though I’m all fucked up right now?”
“I’m all fucked up most of the time.”
She could feel his genuine care for her radiating off of him like body heat. It was sweet. It was intoxicating. “Does that make this better or worse?”
“I don’t know,” he said, his eyes locked on hers. “I don’t care.”
Tessa’s crumbling resolve to be emotionally responsible finally broke. She didn’t want to care either. She surged forward, and he caught her, his arms curling around her waist. When their lips met, it was so soft at first, so tender, that Tessa was afraid he was pulling away, already changing his mind. But she quickly realized he was only giving her a chance to do so. His mouth moved slowly against hers, reverently, like he was asking permission. She had envisioned them plunging into each other wildly and without abandon; a frenzied clash of tongues and teeth, not giving either of them time to think, to feel.
But this was better.
Renzei let her take the lead, kissing her softly, almost chastely, only opening up further when she slipped the tip of her tongue under his top lip, inviting. He shuddered, and kissed her more deeply. Her arms wound around his neck, one hand sinking into his hair. As they connected physically, she couldn’t help but hear a flood of thoughts from him.
God she feels amazing I hope this is okay I never want to stop kissing her slow down don’t eat her face Jesus Christ I don’t deserve this is she alright this is so nice how does she taste like raspberries please don’t scare her relax relax breathe-
This feels really good, Renzei , she telegraphed into his mind. I’m glad you’re here.
She felt him stiffen for a moment—probably surprised, and maybe suddenly self-consciously wondering if he had been broadcasting. Then he relaxed, and she felt his gratitude at her reassurance. One hand moved to cup her cheek, and he pulled away just enough to look her in the eyes.
“You sure you’re alright?”
“I’m great,” she said, and meant it.
“Remember, you can say ‘when’ anytime.”
“You too.”
He smirked at her, but it held little of its usual sass. “I’ll keep it in mind."
They began kissing again in earnest, hands beginning to wander, hearts beating against one another as they pressed closer and closer together. Suddenly, an icy wind gusted in through the still-open window. Tessa shivered.
“Was that you?”
“Hm? Renzei said, clearly too distracted to be worried about the wind.
She laughed, feeling as dizzy as he looked. She pulled away, turning to where he had come in. “I thought maybe your powers were kicking up, but I guess it’s just the fog rolling in.” She leaned out to pull the window shut, but it swung inwards on its own, blown closed by a soft puff of uncharacteristically warm air. She jumped back, laughing.
“ That was me,” Renzei said, coming up behind her.
He wound his arms around her, pulling her back flush against his chest. He began to kiss the back of her neck, working his way around to one side, and then the other. Tessa let out a small, involuntary moan as she tilted her head to give him even better access. Then she frowned, looking out the window at something across the street. Was there an icicle hanging from the awning of that building? She squinted, trying to see into the night, but then Renzei’s lips found a spot that made Tessa’s eyes flutter closed. She reached back, fisting his hair in her hand as she encouraged his ministrations. When she couldn’t take it anymore, she turned in his arms and pulled his mouth back to hers, kissing him fiercely.
He grasped her by the waist and lifted her up onto the window sill. She pulled his hips between her thighs, her dress hiking up to allow him room. He came eagerly, digging his fingers into her hips. She ran her hands up his rock hard torso and slid the tuxedo jacket off his shoulders. He shrugged it the rest of the way off as she began to work on his shirt buttons. That came off too, along with the undershirt, and then there was nothing between her hands and his soft skin moving over smooth planes of lithe muscle. His hands found the zipper at the back of her dress, and paused.
“Is this okay?”
“Yes,” she said.
And it was. Honestly, she wouldn’t have minded if he had ripped the rented designer gown in half at that point, but Renzei slid the zipper down inch by agonizing inch. She wasn’t sure if he was being extra careful, extra thoughtful, or just teasing her, but she shivered again under his delicate, yet purposeful touch.
“Cold again?” he smirked.
“Nope,” she smirked back, letting the dress fall away from her chest, the fabric pooling around her hips. Then she reached back and flicked open the clasp of her strapless bra. That dropped into her lap too, and Renzei swallowed audibly.
“God you’re beautiful.”
“Take me to bed,” she said, hooking a finger into his waistband. “Please.”
He didn’t need any more encouragement than that. He leaned down and scooped her up, one hand under her rear, the other cupping the back of her head as he kissed her passionately. She wrapped her legs around his waist as he made the short walk to her bed. He laid her down gently, then leaned back to take her in. Tessa almost started to feel nervous under his gaze, but whether he meant to or not, Renzei was projecting so much pure adoration and awe that she couldn’t help but bask in it. He slid her dress the rest of the way off, then rested a hand on the waistband of his trousers, eyes questioning.
“I want to see all of you,” she said.
He stood at the end of the bed and slowly unfastened his pants, then pushed them and his boxer briefs to the floor. He stepped out of his dress shoes and socks, and stood before her completely bare. Tessa drank in the sight, appreciating the full picture of which she had only ever seen pieces of before, and some crucial bits that had remained a mystery, until now. Even though over the course of their work with the syndicate she had seen most of his body, the whole was even more incredible than she had imagined the sum of his parts would be.
“Jeez,” she said, before she could stop herself.
Renzei looked unsure for a second, but she allowed her own thoughts and feelings to broadcast to him, letting him know it was a good “jeez.” Then he smirked, but he was blushing too.
He knelt on the end of the bed, and bowed low, kissing the top of her foot. He worked his way up, licking and nipping and kissing her ankles and calves, over her knees, and steadily higher. She wiggled a little, but his touches were too purposeful to be truly ticklish. When he reached the apex of her thighs, he curled his fingers into the waistband of her panties and looked up at her, again asking permission. She lifted her hips in response, and he peeled the delicate lace off of her and let it fall to the floor. He kissed one hip bone and then the other, then settled his hands on them as he dipped his head between her legs.
He started with long, lazy strokes of his tongue, slowly stoking her fire, tasting her deeply and thoroughly. She couldn’t help but whimper, and heard herself start projecting, but was helpless to stop it.
Oh yes, right there… She only had a second to be embarrassed before he responded in her mind as well as with his tongue.
Here?
Her back arched. There!
She felt rather than heard him hum with pleasure at her enthusiasm, and suddenly became aware she had not had sex with anyone since she had discovered her telepathic powers more than a year ago, much less someone she had a link like this with. They could speak without breaking a kiss, ask for what they wanted without having to ask at all, say yes, or no, or more… All without ever interrupting what they were doing. It was wildly convenient, but more than that, strikingly intimate. She had never been so close to another person—joined in body and mind.
There was a split-second where Tessa wanted to freak out; this was far more vulnerability than she was sure she was ready for. But then she let herself hear Renzei again too. His thoughts and feelings were all sweet affection, sharp desire, and genuine pleasure at pleasing her. He felt so good that it allowed Tessa to release the fleeting moment of anxiety and just enjoy herself too. The very instant she decided to let go and sink into this new level of intimacy with Renzei, every sensation seemed to sharpen and intensify. She felt him more acutely physically, mentally, and emotionally. She gasped aloud as a wave of bliss crashed over her, her fingers curling into Renzei’s hair and her hips bucking in his hands as she came undone.
Yes! He thought, bright burning joy coursing through him as he coaxed her down from her peak. Yes, yes, mmm yes…
“Holy hell,” she panted, finally releasing her grip on his head as her spasms subsided.
He hummed in agreement, kissing his way up her stomach and chest to lie next to her. “That was incredible. Is it always like that for you with your telepathy?”
Tessa looked away. “You’re actually the first person I’ve been with… I mean, since I discovered my powers.”
Renzei put a finger under her chin, gently turning her face to his. “Well I’m honored, and pretty sure sex qualifies as a whole other superpower for you now.”
She laughed hard at that. “I think it might qualify as one of yours too, and you don’t even have telepathy.”
“Listen, I aim to please, but I can’t take all the credit for that. The whole mind-meld thing was… Let’s just say I’m pretty sure you’ve ruined regular sex for me now.”
“Oh stop.”
“I’m serious! I mean, imagine the possibilities. You could be gagged and still say your safe word!”
“Interesting that that is your first thought,” she teased. “I’m learning so much about you tonight.”
“I mean obviously the best part was how unbelievably close and connected I felt to you, but I didn’t want to say that and freak you out.”
She raised her eyebrows at him.
“And then I said it anyway,” he laughed, the link between them flooding with his nerves. “Are you freaked out?”
“A little.”
“Shit I’m sorry that was a lot-”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it,” she grinned, pulling him into a hungry kiss.
Now he was full of giddy relief and she basked in his bubbly happiness. She realized she very much enjoyed making him feel good too. She curled closer to him, urging him on top of her, and he obliged. They didn’t actually need to talk, of course, but he still spoke aloud to check in with her once more.
“You’re sure?” He was poised above her, his hips between hers, his voice soft but steady.
“I’m sure.” She lifted one hand to stroke his cheek, and reached the other down to grasp him, gently guiding him into her.
There were a few more words after that, but much less articulate. Out loud, there were gasps, shouts, moans, and cries, but they spoke mostly in the link between their minds, urging, appreciating, asking, teasing, and encouraging one another as they rose together to the height of pleasure.
Renzei I’m close are you-
Me too tell me when-
God it’s so much I-
Let go Tessa I’ve got you-
Oh I’m going to-
I’m with you-
And then there was only a bright, shimmering flash; thoughts and sensations crashed together in a blissful implosion that melted into a deep, warm thrum as they floated back to reality. When they finally washed up on the shore together, Tessa’s eyes were wet with tears, and Renzei was shaking.
“Are you alright?” they asked one another at the same time. They both laughed.
“I’m great,” she said.
“Never better,” he answered.
They laid back on the pillows, side by side, staring at the ceiling and catching their breath. One of his legs was draped over one of hers, and though they were both slick with sweat, the warmth and contact was welcome. She didn’t exactly know the protocol for a casual-yet-fraught partners-in-vigilantism hookup, but this seemed like a happy medium between full-on spooning and informing him his Lyft would arrive in three minutes. She stifled a laugh. What even was her life?
“What’s funny?” he asked.
“Nothing exactly, but kind of everything?”
He grinned over at her. “Well I’m just glad you’re smiling.”
She sent a warm pulse of gratitude through their link, then spoke aloud. “I thought you were kidding.”
“I told you I wasn’t.”
“Not about tonight,” she said. “All the other flirty stuff. I mean, you talk so much shit to everybody, I never thought you meant it at me.”
“That was intentional.”
“But then how was I ever supposed to know that you were interested?”
“You weren’t.”
“So you really weren’t ever gonna holler?”
“Not when I was ninety-nine point nine percent sure I had zero chance. You were hopelessly devoted to Duke, remember?”
He’d said it teasingly, but the truth still stung a bit.
“Listen,” Tessa said, rolling onto her side to face him, covering her discomfort with sass. “My thing with Duke was so one-sided for so long I had just about given up hope. And have you seen you? You wouldn’t exactly have had to break my arm to get my attention if you’d wanted it.”
“Damn,” Renzei said, propping himself up on an elbow to face her too. “I knew Duke was being oblivious, but…am I an idiot too?”
“I wouldn’t go that far. But hey, an hour ago you finally made your move, and look how well it went!”
“I only made my move because Duke fumbled his. If he hadn’t, you’d probably be lying here next to him instead, none the wiser to your super secret admirer.”
He moved his leg then, but even without the physical contact, Tessa could feel him filling with a creeping guilt.
“You didn’t take advantage of me,” she said. “I don’t regret anything. If that’s what you’re worried about.”
“Shit, am I projecting my thoughts?”
“Not right now, but I can usually get a whiff of your emotions when you’re nearby if I’m open to it. Right now I’m not even trying, but I can sense you wanting to beat yourself up. I was just guessing that was where it was coming from.”
“Well that ‘whiff’ was scarily accurate.”
“Maybe now that we’re, um, closer in a way that we haven’t been before, the link is clearer, or wider, or something. Like I said, sex with telepathy is a brave new world for me too.”`
Renzei grimaced. “Well that’s terrifying.”
“Why?”
“If you’re gonna be able to read my mind without even trying from now on, I better clean it up in there.”
“Ooh are you afraid I’m gonna hear all your dark, broody emo kid thoughts?”
“No, I’m afraid you’re going to hear what I’m really thinking during jiu jitsu.”
Tessa grinned wickedly. “What could you possibly be thinking about when we roll besides survival?”
“Uh, baseball.”
She cracked up at that, and so did he. When their laughter died down, he leaned over and kissed her. It was quick, and sweet, and felt so natural it was almost startling.
“Sorry,” he said. “I don’t know why I-”
“It’s okay. It was nice.”
There was a beat of silence before Renzei spoke again. “Should I…go?”
No! “Shit, did you hear that? I meant, you don’t have to. I mean I don’t want you to. But of course you can. Don’t stay because you think I’m not okay or something. You’ve done more than enough to cheer me up tonight. So, if you feel like it’s the best thing for you, please go! Sorry, that was way too enthusiastic. What I’m trying to say is, I’d love for you to stay, but I would rather die than have you stay because you felt obligated to.”
He smirked at her. “I want to stay. Even if we don’t get you to six orgasms by dawn, I want to say I tried.”
Tessa gazed at him evenly. “You do realize that my being more attuned to you than ever before means your usual applesauce won’t fly, right?”
The rakish grin faded. “Damn. Okay then. I want to stay because I want to keep lying next to you. I want to stay because I want to wake up with you. I also want to stay because you might need a hug, or another tumble, and I wouldn’t be opposed to those things either, but I mostly want to stay because I want to.”
“Oh,” Tessa breathed, humbled and in awe of his honest eloquence. She felt that bubbly happiness again, this time coming from her, but right on its heels was a pang of her own guilt. “Wait, am I being selfish? Am I taking advantage of you ?”
He laughed. “Not even if you tried.”
“Really though. We’re coming from two pretty different places emotionally right now. We already knew we were playing with fire with the sex. That was amazing, and your continued company with the possibility of more amazing sex sounds great. But I was literally crying over another guy when you got here. I’m not saying that I’m not really enjoying this, but I cannot emphasize enough how fucked up I am right now, and I just… I don’t want to lead you on.”
“I appreciate the concern,” Renzei said. “But I haven’t forgotten about any of the things you just said. I may be a little dehydrated, but I’m still in reality. I don’t have any expectations of this or of you. I haven’t survived as long as I have, doing what I do, without a keen sense of self-preservation. And who knows? Maybe you snore like a chainsaw and twenty minutes from now I’ll realize I couldn’t possibly stay another second, much less spend a whole night next to you.”
“Ok, alright,” she said, unable to resist a small smile. “I get it, you can take care of yourself. You said as much before, so I’m going to take you at your word. But I’d feel remiss if I didn’t at least ask: are you sure this isn’t going to fuck with you?”
He shrugged, reaching up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. “If it does, it’ll definitely be the most enjoyable mistake I’ve ever made.”
He stayed.
Tessa rolled over to face the window Renzei had come through what seemed like a lifetime ago, but scooted back toward him. He curled his long, lean form around hers, his chin resting on her head, his heart thumping softly against her back. Tessa realized the second she closed her eyes that she was exhausted. In the next moment, she was asleep.
In the deep blue hours before dawn, Tessa woke with a start, the remnants of a nightmare retreating into the depths of her mind. She blinked in the dark, trying to clear her mind and slow her breathing.
“You okay?” Renzei’s voice was rough with sleep, but he was awake.
“Bad dream.”
“I know,” he said, stroking her hair.
“Sorry, was I talking?”
“No,” he said, then paused. “I think I had it too?”
She rolled over to face him, her mind swimming with this revelation. How could he have- Is it possible that- She squeezed her eyes shut. It was too much to think about right now. Duke had been in her dream. She dearly hoped Renzei had been having a different one. Tears stung high in her nose, but she didn’t want to cry anymore. Not over him. Not tonight.
She put one hand on Renzei’s shoulder, gently pushing him onto his back, then sat up, letting the sheet fall away from her. Even in the near-dark, she saw his eyes widen. She swung a leg over his hips, straddling him.
She skimmed her nails down his taut, flat stomach. “Is this ok?”
“Yes,” he breathed, his hands sliding up her thighs. “God yes.”
She leaned down and kissed him, pressing her bare chest to his. He responded enthusiastically, his large hands moving over her buttocks and back. She slid down his body, trailing kisses along his jaw and throat, across his shoulders and down his chest, dragging her tongue over his abs. When she took him in her mouth, he swore in another language, hands twisting into the sheets. She didn’t need telepathy to know he was enjoying her attention immensely. Before too long, he pulled her up, nearly gasping.
“Please,” was all he said.
It was all he had to say; she wanted the same thing. Tessa held herself over him, then slowly eased herself down again, taking him in as slowly as he had peeled open the zipper of her dress. Inch…by…inch… But neither of them could take it slow for very long. Afterward, they lay together in a tangle of limbs, breathing hard, a pleasantly sated feeling flowing between them. Carefully, they extracted most of themselves from one another, but fell asleep facing each other, their fingers twined together.