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I’d been home from the Throne World long enough to give the Vanguard a debriefing on our latest mission. We’d discovered lightbearing Hive. We’d had to crush Ghosts to survive, and the act of killing them has left me reeling.
I leave my fireteam at our room in the barracks and wander, letting my feet take me where they will, as I’m lost in thought. Porkchop and Gary quietly float with me and keep me company, two small lights drifting after a hooded Hunter.
I soon find that my wanderings have taken me to the Eliksni quarter and as I start to look around I hear the sound of Eliksni children playing. I follow the sound to a small park where a small group of younglings are playing a game. It looks like a game I see the Human children playing, the goal being to be the only one atop the hill and proclaiming themselves King.
I quietly make my way to the shade of a nearby building and sit leaning against the cool concrete to watch them as My Ghosts put themselves Away. One of the children is larger than the rest and pushes and shoves his friends off the little rise they’re on but he’s only one and they are many. The drag him off the hill and scramble to be the ‘Kell of the Hill’ before their friends can claim the title.
I close my eyes and listen to their happy scrambles and chittering jeers in Eliksni. The children themselves and Pumpkin were teaching me to speak it, and while I understand more than I can speak I can still hold most of a conversation in Eliksni.
Listening to the children takes some of the edge off my raw emotions and I’m quietly observing them when I hear someone walking up to me. I turn my head and find Misraaks approaching me. As I make to get up, he motions for me to stay and joins me on the ground.
“To what do we owe the honor of your presence friend Vylos?” He asks me in Eliksni using the name the children gave me, his eyes also watching the children.
“I don’t know if it’s an honor friend Misraaks. I don’t feel very honorable right now.” I sigh and hug my knees to my chest, resting my chin on them.
Misraaks considers me for a moment, his head tilted to the side. “What is wrong Vylos? Come, tell your friend, I will help you through this thing you struggle with.”
I’m silent for a long while, a smaller child who’s wearing a little tattered hood with a scarf that drapes down suspiciously like a cloak is declaring herself Kell of the Hill before I speak in a monotone.
“You know that the hive have ghosts now, it’s weighing on me that I’ve had to kill them.” I close my eyes and lower my face to rest my forehead on my arms, squeezing my eyes hard to stop the tears that threaten to fall. “I killed them Misraaks. I killed a little light.”
Misraaks is quiet as he sits next to me, many times bigger than myself and he makes very little sound when he wants to. He switches languages as he asks quietly, “Why did you kill them? Did you do it out of malice?” He lets me shake my head before continuing. “The light bearers would have killed you had you not taken the small ones life yes?”
I nod into my arms, still unable to speak or look at him.
“They would have then gone on to take your light and make more of them. After that it’shard to say what they would have done but it’s safe to say that they would have likely threatened the lives of many, yes?” I hear his armor creak as he leans closer to me placing one of his large hands on my back in a comforting gesture.
I look up at him and nod, I swipe at the tears and I can tell the moisture is starting to take the makeup I use to hide my facial markings off.
“Then I think friend, that troubling as it may be, you have still saved lives this day, and you should let yourself rest with that knowledge.” Misraaks tone is firm and warm, he tends to wear his helmet most of the time, so I can’t be sure, but I think he’s smiling at me.
Looking down at the ground in front of me I respond, “Can it be that easy? Could I have saved them? Convinced them not to revive their light bearers? Am I no better than the enemies I’ve fought against my whole life?”
Misraaks pats my shoulder, “The life of being hunted by light bearers is one that is fraught with many hard questions, we asked many of the same questions you ask yourself.” He tells me before withdrawing his hand. He sits back and lets his eyes settle on the children once more. “I think that you did the best you could in the moment. You were trying to protect all of us from a long-time enemy, and that is the most honorable thing you could do.”
I give him a deep sigh, “I guess.”
“May I ask why you came here while troubled?” He asks.
I nod at the children, “Watching them always makes me feel better. House Light children being able to play in the shade of the Traveler without fear of having to run and hide makes me feel like maybe, just maybe, there is hope for a peaceful future. That maybe Guardians can safekeep all those who wish to walk in the light, not just those who look like us.” I glance up at him and see the little jolt of surprise before he softens again.
“Then let us see what they have to say on the matter.” He calls out to the children in Eliksni, “Younglings, come here please, our friend Vylos needs your opinion on a matter.”
I look on in surprise as the children all stop the game and scramble over to us, apparently, I’d been sneaky when I’d sat to watch them as when they spot me they shriek my Eliksni name and swarm around me. One is bold enough to sit next to me and cling to my arm, covering themselves in my furry Lightkin cloak. Unsurprisingly, it’s the small one with the hood.
“The mighty Vylos needs our help?” The small one with the hood asks, I remember her name is Koraaks, she is always following me when I’m around. The other children sit close to me, and I sit up and cross my legs giving them all a smile.
Misraaks nods, “The Guardian is troubled, I wonder of you children could listen to her and help her?”
The children’s little faces look at me hopefully, little Koraaks hugs my arm tight and demands in her little voice. “Friend Vylos tell us what is wrong! We will fix! We are wise!” The other children agree fervently, the taller one pounds his chest with both of this right fists for emphasis.
I give them a genuine smile before lifting the arm that Koraaks is holding and scooping her into my lap where she settles in and lets me place my arms around her.
“I am sad. I had to do a bad thing to do a good thing and it troubles me deeply.” I tell them softly.
“What kind of bad thing?” A child on my left asks me.
I rest my cheek on Koraaks’ little head and give her a hug before answering, “I had to end the life of someone who would normally be one of my allies.”
The children still, but creep closer after a moment, all are listening with rapt attention. Koraaks looks up at me and I lean back to looks down at her. “How come you had to kill them?”
I look away, unable to meet her eyes. “They were helping the enemy hurt people. I didn’t see another way to stop them.”
Little Koraaks squirms in my lap and faces me, she reaches up her hands and turns my face to hers. She frames my face as she looks deeply into my eyes. I let her see exactly how I feel as I let my walls drop for her. She searches my world-weary face and nods solemnly.
“Friend Vylos protected the House from danger. Friend Vylos is great warrior, would never kill friend unless it she had to to protect us.” She says this so matter-of-factly that the other children nod and reach forward to touch me, each one a comforting pat.
“An ally who helps the enemy hurt other allies is an enemy.” She continues with conviction.
I smile at her and glance at Misraaks who has been quiet through this, he’s nodding at her words too. “I don’t think it’s as easy as that little one.” I tell her.
She takes her hands from my face and puts them on her hips. “Of course it is, warriors protect their house from danger. It is so.” She looks at her friends and they nod and repeat “It is so.”
She continues, “Vylos is warrior. Vylos protects us, it is so.”
The younglings echo her and suddenly I’m crying for another reason entirely. I gather her into my arms and give her a tight hug. “Thank you children.” I snuffle and repeat myself in Eliksni “Thank you.”
The children come forward and cover me with their arms in one big hug, I’m surprised when I feel the weight of Misraaks’ big arms join them. I snuffle and look up at him as he lets us go. If these children of a people who are so used to making tough decision after tough decision simply to survive say it’s as simple as that, maybe it is.
“Thank you friend Misraaks, I needed this more than you know.” The children step back and look to their leader as he starts to stand. He looks down at me, his posture soft.
“The sight of a Guardian taking comfort from the children of my house is one that I will cherish for all my days. We trust you friend Morgana, your path is not an easy one to walk, but we are here for you to help you along the way, you need only ask.” He motions at the hill the children were playing on a moment ago.
“Tell me children, who is Kell of the Hill?” He asks smoothly.
The children perk up and each proclaims that they are Kell of the Hill. They all scramble away, the only one who hesitates is little Koraaks who looks back at me. “Will you play with us today friend Vylos?”
I smile at her as I stand up and dust off my cloak, “I don’t know friend Koraaks, my pride might get hurt when you shove me off the hill to my doom.”
She gives me a toothy grin and pulls me to join the tussle on the hill. I spend the evening letting the children push me around and only get to be Kell of the Hill a couple times before I’m quickly brought tumbling down into the dirt surrounded by House Lights future. Misraaks watches us for a time until he is called away by duty.
Maybe, just maybe, it really was as simple as they say. Maybe the Ghosts had made their decisions, I’d still try and see if we could talk them out of their decisions, but I know one thing for sure.
I am a Guardian of the Last City and her peoples. I will kill anything and anyone who threatens those who cannot protect themselves. My job isn’t always safe or fun, but someone has to do it. Luckily, my fireteam is up for the challenge.