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I clenched my fist, nails digging into soft flesh until it bled. Staring at the soft gentle face I used to hold with so much dear paled in comparison to the sight that was laid in front of me, like a terrible nightmare that refused to wake me up. Stuck in this cycle of bad dreams, I shifted the universe again.
Seeing the bright pink hair amidst the crowds, I reached out and grabbed her arm, "Kokomi-" eager to look at her face, her smile, her bright eyes and charisma that draw me close each and every day, like a moth hopelessly drawn to the fire, I seek her presence like a parched traveler, and she was the water. The divine water that refreshed me and my soul, that brought me immense happiness.
"Who are you?" her gentle voice echoed in my mind like a broken record, and I refused to take it out; because it was my favorite tune and it's broken.
"Sara, Kujou Sara, do you remember me?" I didn't believe in Gods, I was agnostic. But at this very moment, I prayed, for the Gods above to hear my call, whoever they are, whatever they want from me, I will satisfy, as long as they give me back the Sangonomiya Kokomi I love.
"No, excuse me." Turning back from me, like magic, she was at the other side of the street already. Vanishing from my sight with each step. I run after her like a desperate fool wanting to force the universe to give her back to me.
Pain shoots from my side as a car hits me, a burning crippling sensation that felt like my insides were broken and far from repair, I hiss in pain and groan, the blaring pain going unnoticed, I was only staring at the receding footsteps of the woman I love dearly who carried a piece of my heart with her.
I shift the universe again.
Like a game, I retry again and again, I crawl across the room, begging for her. I'd be a criminal for you Sangonomiya Kokomi, I'd be a killer, I'd give you my heart if you needed it. I'd give you everything I fucking have, Sangonomiya.
I'm too busy being yours, too busy to notice the pain my body suffers in the process of bending time, to notice the pressure I go under to see you, bending time and space for you in bleak hope I'll find a universe where we'll be together, where we grow old, where we'll love each other like the world is ending.
Here you are, the college days, I slipped in front of you and you got splashed by my favorite juice on your uniform, do you perhaps remember those days?
I watch in heartbreak once more as I watch the parallel Sara of this timeline ignore you, as if you were nothing but a schoolmate, nothing but another stranger in school, just another face to forget.
"What are you doing!?" I yell in frustration at the other me, tired and sick of seeing these.
"No, what are you doing? Are you from another timeline? you know we're not supposed to meet!" the other me scolded, shaking my shoulders as if I was delirious, yes I am.
I ignored it. Walking up to the Sangonomiya Kokomi of this timeline, I reach out my hand to grab hers, for us to finally go home.
But not everything is all rainbows and sunshines, it burned my hand. I cry out in desperation and pain, only for it to fall on deaf ears. "I only want you back.." I cry and pull on my hair hopelessly, feeling despair wash over me, engulfing me in its deep black pits, where no light could shine through. Nothing accompanied, only the coat of black everywhere you turn.
I shift the universe once more, going back to my own timeline, minutes before her death. Only to see it again.
I wanted to gouge my eyes out.
I watched as a duplicate of me slam her frail body against the wall that tried to squirm, holding unto her last strings of life as Kujou Sara strangled her to death. The color in her pretty face draining, paling incredibly fast, the Grim Reaper taking her away from me just as fast. Glancing at the corpse of my ex-bestfriend on the bed, I looked away as fast as I could.
The favorite flower I cared for deeply in my garden, ripped away with so much recklessness it tore the flower apart, ripping it to pieces as I can do nothing but watch it die.
We only loved, we went on dates, we kissed, we did things couples do to each other, the both of us, legs tangled together intimately. You were the treasure I failed to keep.
It's my bad, I never thought I'd see my bestfriend on your bed, I only meant to kill her in my head, Koko. I go psycho when I get too angry, I had a dozen roses ready to take you out on a date on the weekend. But I walked in in something I wished I never did.
I stood in clenched fists, charging to the duplicate of me, punching the flesh until it felt like it made a dent, until the skull cracked, all my anger and regret pouring out with each fist, "I fucking messed up."
"My anger boiled over and it killed her.."
"And it'll kill.. me too." I huff, looking at the lifeless body under me, fists bleeding uncontrollably as well as my tears that never ceased to stop. Dropping to my side, I chuckle to myself, feeling the numbness of my body overwhelm me.
"I fucked up the universe for you Kokomi." I laugh weakly, staring into the ceiling that I live under, all my other parallels also are under this ceiling.
"You are such a beautiful soul, Koko." I smile to myself, thinking of her sweet angelic smile, one last parting memory before I pull the trigger.
"And I am a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I shouldn't have got in your life, I hope the parallels of us won't make the same mistake." fucking jealousy.