Chapter Text
Text him.
Just fucking text him.
But he can’t. His fingers have been hovering over the keyboard for half an hour, and Taehyung hasn’t moved.
It’s ridiculous. He isn’t even sure anything is wrong yet, but there’s something off. Whatever it is may not be the worst case scenario he’s thinking of, but he wants to figure this out with Jeongguk, with the person he might be in a mess—
If he’s pregnant, if his late heat never comes, he wants to be honest with him from the get go. Jeongguk is one of his best friends, aside from maybe Jimin, he’s the person he’s closest to. Only difference is, he’s been having casual sex with Jeongguk for about two years now.
So far, it’s been great. He goes over to Jeongguk’s place a couple of times a week or Jeongguk has gone over to his, and sometimes they hook up randomly, in strange places, occasionally where they’re not supposed to.
And occasionally, Jeongguk does things he’s not supposed to.
Now he’s sitting here, his phone in his hands, Jeongguk’s name selected on his messaging app, their last texts staring him in the face, and no courage. None at all. He isn’t even sure when his last breath was, and if things are as bad as he fears, he’s gonna need to start focusing on that kind of stuff. He won’t just have himself to keep alive—he’s going to have a whole other person.
And so will Jeongguk.
Then his phone goes off, a message vibrating the pocket-sized device, and Taehyung damn near jumps out of his skin. “Shit!” he cries, dropping the phone against the muscle of his inner thigh, where it falls between his criss-crossed legs, and sits there face up, still lingering on his messages with his friend-with-benefits alpha.
The message, however, is not from Jeongguk. The name lighting up the screen is accompanied by smiley faces and rainbows, put in there by his best friend himself when they’d swapped phone numbers for the first time back in high school. Jimin.
Relief strikes Taehyung, his heart rate relaxing for the first time since he’d realized he might be pregnant. Sighing, he runs a hand through his hair, opening the message before the notification can run away.
Wincing, Taehyung lowers his phone, because no. He hasn’t. He knows he’s capable of doing this by himself, but he doesn’t want to be alone when it happens and if the impossible happens, it should be Jeongguk who is with him.
Setting his phone down one last time, Taehyung looks up to the ceiling. God damn it, he thinks, then he closes his eyes, takes a couple of deep breaths, and looks back down.
Odds are, this will go over as well as a surprise pregnancy scare possibly can. Jeongguk will be concerned, rightfully so, but he’ll stop by the pharmacy on the way over and grab a test before heading straight to Taehyung’s apartment and wrapping the omega in his arms. And even if the test comes back positive, they’ll be okay. They have to, right?
Just. Text. Him.
Okay. He can do this. He can.
Taehyung laughs, his nerves relaxing just that extra inch more as he smiles at his phone, wishing he were the clueless alpha on the other side. Jeongguk is an expert at taking care of him when he’s sick, but this isn’t an ordinary illness. This won’t go away for nine more months, depending on when they conceived the kid.
If they conceived a kid. Big if. Right now, their pregnancy scare is just that, a scare. He just suspects something is up, but he’s not sure yet, so he needs to muster up the courage to just ask Jeongguk to buy him the test already. For all he knows, they’ll have a big laugh about this later.
He puts his phone down, counting his inhales in fours and his exhales in eights, and for a few minutes, he just breathes. In… out… in… out…. In…. Out….
It’s going to be okay.
Jeongguk’s right. Odds are, he’s not pregnant, and if he is, they’ll cross that bridge when they come to it. For now, he needs to get up off his ass, get a glass of water, and curl up on the couch under his favorite blankets and wait for his friend to get here.
Fifteen minutes. He’ll be okay. They’ll both be okay—maybe all three of them will be okay, if the fates decide this is where their lives are going. He can’t help thinking about it as he rises, as his long, shaky fingers begin rifling through his cabinets, settling on a stemless wine glass—oh, irony—in lieu of every other cup of his being occupied by his dishwasher.
If this goes south, he’s going to have to decide right now whether he wants to be a parent or not. Sure, he likes kids, wants kids, but he doesn’t have a serious partner yet. He’s got Jeongguk, but they’re friends with benefits, not the married couple he thought he’d be a part of when this kind of thing happened to him.
Fear has him in a vice grip, but he manages to move this time, sniffling as he fights back the urge to cry. He won’t cry—omegas are meant for this, they’re tough, like steel, and he will not cry over something he’s not sure is even happening to him yet. He’s going to drink this water, wait for Jeongguk, and maybe doom scroll through Twitter.
There are definitely people with worse problems than him out there—not that knowing this makes him feel any better.
Not that knowing this does nothing to change the fact that in an hour, he’s going to know his fate, he’s going to find out if he might soon be raising a baby with someone he’s not even romantically involved with. And right now? That sounds more terrifying than any terrible current event the internet can conjure for him.
*
Jeongguk arrives at Taehyung’s apartment sixteen minutes after his last text goes out. He’d left in a hurry once he sent his, “on my way,” text, not bothering to check his phone once he shoved it in the pocket of his hoodie and dashed out the door.
He didn’t even check it in the pharmacy. Sure, he’d thought about texting Taehyung to ask which brand he wanted, but considering the pharmacy only had three and he had a feeling he would want to be extra sure, Jeongguk had purchased all three. The cashier, bless her, had kept her face blissfully neutral the entire time he was checking out, even though everyone in the damn store could probably tell he was losing it.
And even now as he stands outside of Taehyung’s apartment, shaky hands slipping the key into the lock, he’s trying to keep his composure. When they’d been texting, he could tell just how scared his friend was, he could picture Taehyung either pacing back and forth or curled up into a tense little ball in some corner, and he knows the omega needs him right now. He can’t falter, he can’t seem scared, he has to support him, has to take responsibility for what he might’ve done.
Besides, he’s been itching to hold Taehyung too since he got that text. Whether or not these stupid tests in his hand turn up positive today, it’s still scary, they still need each other.
Pushing the door open, Jeongguk’s heart seizes in his chest at the distressed scent permeating the apartment. He’s not sure where Taehyung is yet, but anyone standing in the hallway will now be able to tell that there’s a very frightened, very stressed omega in apartment 4B.
“Tae?” he calls softly, shutting the door behind him as he makes his way into the apartment. “Where are you?”
Silence, then he hears a sniffle. “Living room sofa,” Taehyung says, his voice rough like he’s been crying.
Oh, Taehyung.
Making his way into the living room, Jeongguk’s heart melts as he catches sight of his friend, his dark curls barely visible underneath the edge of a navy blue blanket—a weighted one he’s often fond of nesting in during heats. Soon after he enters, Taehyung’s head pops up out of the edge of it, and he holds the flap of the blanket open, exposing his gray hoodie and sweatpants to the light.
“Hi,” Jeongguk whispers, setting down the bag as he lays down beside him, chucking off his converse as he scoops the omega into his arms. “How are you?”
“I’m okay,” Taehyung says, breathing deeply as he wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s shoulders, pulling him in for that hug he was promised upon the alpha’s arrival. “Could be better.”
“Mm, I bet.” Jeongguk runs a hand through his hair, nails scraping gently against Taehyung’s scalp. “Listen, I know you’re scared, but no matter what happens, I’m here for you. You’re my best friend, okay? I’m not going to let anything bad happen to you.”
“I know.” He takes a deep breath, then he sighs. “Listen, can we just lie here for a couple of minutes? I need—I need…“
“Yeah, of course,” Jeongguk says, resting his chin on the crown of Taehyung’s head. “Whatever you need.”
They lay like that for a minute or two, Jeongguk breathing in Taehyung’s scent, sighing contentedly as it changes from distressed to relaxed, or at least some semblance of it. There’s something off about it though—normally Tae smells a bit like lavender, but today, there’s something sweet, kind of like vanilla. The alpha gets nervous at that, he knows what a sudden change in scent can mean, but it doesn’t necessarily mean his friend is pregnant.
But they really ought to find out.
Eventually, he rubs Taehyung’s shoulder, the omega groaning as he buries his face into Jeongguk’s neck. A small laugh rumbles in his chest, but he doesn’t indulge him. Holding Taehyung tightly against his body, he sits up, running a hand up and down his back as he sighs. “I know you’re scared, but it’s better to find out now rather than putting it off.”
“I know.”
“You might not be pregnant anyway,” Jeongguk says, but he doesn’t have a lot of belief in his words. It feels like a done deal, a car accident he can see coming. “So isn’t it better to just get the heart attack over with?”
Another sniffle, then Taehyung sighs, pulling himself from Jeongguk’s arms as he casts his blanket aside, and stares at the little black bag his friend had brought home from the pharmacy. There’s a wild, terrified look in his eyes, his scent spiking with fear, but he gets up, taking hold of the bag as he makes his way into his bathroom. “Get ready to set some timers. I’ll be out in a minute.” And he disappears into the bathroom without another word.
*
The two minutes they’re waiting for that test to yield results are excruciating. The entire time, Taehyung sits back on his haunches, head between his knees, his hands clasped behind his neck as he rocks back and forth, once again trapping himself in the corner made by his kitchen counter. He’s asked Jeongguk to watch the tests for him—though he’s positive it’s been at least two hours since he took them—and hasn’t looked up since.
He can tell Jeongguk wants to sit on the ground next to him, wants to hold his hand as he panics, but every time he looks away from the tests Taehyung shakes his head and tells him to keep an eye on it. Maybe later, when these tests are far behind them and this possible scare is over he can hold him, but not now. Just not now.
A few seconds later, the alarm goes off, and Taehyung looks up as Jeongguk reads over the results, watching his face for any sign of good news. Any second now, he’s going to tell him it was a false alarm and that he’ll be okay—but then that never comes.
Instead, Jeongguk’s face falls, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, closing his eyes as he turns to look at Taehyung, then he kneels down, crawling to sit beside him. Already the omega is sniffling, he doesn’t need to hear the words to see them written clearly on Jeongguk’s face. He’s pregnant, he knows he’s pregnant, and he’d bet every single won he has that all three of the tests show a stupid little plus sign.
All the ads for these stupid things tell him he should be thrilled. And if he’s being honest, he doesn’t know what he’ll do—if he’ll go through with it or not, if he’ll keep the baby, if he’ll raise it—but he’s certain of his fear.
“Tae…” Jeongguk says, wrapping an arm around Taehyung’s shoulder as he pulls him in his arms, chin once again resting atop his head. “It’s going to be okay. I promise, it’s going to be okay. We’ll figure this out together, yeah?”
Will they? This changes everything. Being friends with benefits has been wonderful, he’s genuinely enjoyed that extra pinch of intimacy without having to worry about anything that would complicate things between them. A fucking baby is going to throw a wrench in everything—at the bare minimum it’ll forever change their friendship no matter how this all ends.
He loves Jeongguk too much to lose him, and the whole pregnancy thing aside, that’s what scares him the most.
“Promise?” he whispers, sniffling again as tears begin to blur his vision, one of his hands fisting into the fabric of Jeongguk’s shirt.
“On my life, I’ll be here for you, no matter what you decide to do,” he says, pulling Taehyung onto his lap as he sighs into his curls. “God, Tae, I’m so sorry I did this to you.”
Taehyung wants to argue, but as he opens his mouth, a sob wrenches itself free from his throat. He wants to tell Jeongguk he did this too, that he’s just as responsible, but what comes out is, “oh, fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.” Which quickly devolves into helpless sobbing, his entire body shaking as he clings to Jeongguk like he’s a lifeline.
“Shhh, shhh, shhh, it’s okay,” Jeongguk says, though Taehyung can feel him trembling as he curls further into the alpha’s front, his head pressed firmly against his chest. “You’re okay. We’ll figure this out together. You wanna have a baby? We’ll have a baby. You don’t want to? We won’t. We’ll get through this.”
And yeah, he knows they’ll get through this, knows Jeongguk is the best possible alpha he could’ve gotten stuck in this situation with, but he needs the initial shock to pass. He needs to let it sink in that this is his reality now.
It takes a while, his tears soaking through the fabric of Jeongguk’s shirt, the newly wet cotton soaking up his apologies as he wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s neck, and just lets himself feel. He’ll be strong about this later, when he’s taken a moment to grieve the life he would’ve had and accept the one that lies ahead of him, when he tells Jeongguk that yeah, he kind of wants to have a baby and he takes it well—that’s when he’ll be strong.
But not now.
After a while, Taehyung sniffles, looking up at Jeongguk to find his friend’s head resting against the headboard of his bed, dark brown eyes staring down at him as he traces gentle circles in the ridges of his spine. When the fuck did we get here? he wonders, baffled at the idea that he somehow became so hysterical, he didn’t notice he was being carried.
Maybe that’s a typical reaction though for finding out he’s going to be having a baby with his friend with benefits. Maybe.
Running a hand beneath his nose, Taehyung winces at the snot that piles up on the veiny expanse of the back of his left hand. Luckily, Jeongguk’s there with one of the tissues he keeps on his nightstand, usually there for allergy season or—well, Jeongguk’s little “visits”—and he wipes it away.
A pleasant thought drifts through his mind, the sort that makes him realize Jeongguk is good at taking care of people. He’s everything an alpha should be—except better. If there’s anyone he should pick to have a baby with, he’s kind of perfect, and since this is the way he is around an omega who isn’t even his mate—odds are he’s going to make an incredible father.
The thought makes him laugh, then he takes a deep breath, tightening his already snug grip on Jeongguk’s shirt. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you sorry?”
“Putting you through this,” he says, then he rests his head against Jeongguk’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”
“Taehyung, you have nothing to apologize for. Nothing. I should’ve been more careful. I should’ve checked the condoms better for holes after, and I’m sorry I got careless.”
Sighing, he wipes another tear from his eye. “I’m so scared.”
“I know.”
“I’m not ready for this.”
“You don’t have to do it. You have options.”
“I know, I know I do, but I can’t—“ he takes in a deep breath. “I just—I don’t know what I want to do yet.”
“You don’t have to decide right away. We still need to process this.” He wipes away one of Taehyung’s tears. “And I cannot stress enough how much I will help you through this either way. If you don’t want it, I’ll hold your hand through the end. But…”
“Do you want it?”
“It’s not about what I want. It’s about you. They’re in your body, Taehyung, not mine.” Jeongguk reaches out cautiously, and Taehyung’s breath catches in his throat as he presses his palm against his abdomen. His hand is warm, and despite how scared he is, something about it feels right. “I just want you to know that if you want to keep it, to raise this baby, I’ll be there for you. I’ll be the best father and coparent I can be. I’m scared shitless of what’ll happen if we do it, but I think, if you want, we could be amazing at it together.”
His breath leaves him in a rush, his body shaking as he places a hand over Jeongguk’s, sniffling again as he realizes again how right this is. It’s insane, he’s not ready for this, he’s still getting his life together. He’s got a job—he works at an art gallery, makes okay money for a guy working such a job, enough to pay his rent and buy some groceries, but maybe not quite enough to support a person. With Jeongguk’s help, maybe he can do it.
A decision like this, however, isn’t one he should make right away. “I need some time to think,” he says, but he doesn’t let go of Jeongguk’s hand. In fact, he holds it tighter.
“Take all the time you need, Tae, I’m not going anywhere.”
And god, when he says shit like that, it’s really hard for Taehyung not to picture where this could go. Hard not to picture him with their baby in his arms—their child growing up, going to school, doing important life stuff of their own. It’s so, so hard not to want it, and as Taehyung’s eyes begin to drift shut from exhaustion, he already knows he does.
He just passes out before he can say it.
*
Jeongguk holds Taehyung well after the sun goes down, but unlike the omega in his arm—sniffling and leaking tears even in his sleep—he doesn’t rest. He’s wide awake, his entire body vibrating with energy as he too processes everything that’s happened since he walked into Taehyung’s apartment.
A baby. They’re having a baby.
Him. Taehyung. Baby… Fuck.
Part of him still can’t believe it, still thinks this is all some fever dream he’ll wake up from in a couple of hours and laugh about with Taehyung later. But it’s not. This is reality, and in reality he fucked up, didn’t make sure the condom didn’t break one night—at least, that’s what he assumes happened—and now he’s brought them both into a situation they didn’t ask for and don’t necessarily want.
Yet as he looks down at the sleeping omega in his arms, as he takes in the hands still joined over his lower abdomen, he thinks he kind of does want it. His mind conjures an infant with his cheeks puffed up by Taehyung’s smile—all shadowed by a curtain of soft, dark curls, which somehow fail to conceal warm, brown eyes. Their baby has Taehyung’s moles, too, especially the one on his nose that Jeongguk is so fond of kissing when they—
Shut up.
God damn it, he wants it. He’s not ready for this either. He’s working security at a major corporation downtown, but that’s not the best salary to raise a baby on. Between himself and Taehyung, though, they might get by, and aside from typical parenting issues, their biggest problem should be having to explain to their baby that they didn’t come from love like most of their classmates.
This baby happened because they were fucking horny.
A small laugh leaves him at the thought, and for a moment, Jeongguk fears he’s woken Taehyung, but his friend remains still against his chest, his curls still fanned out over the slightly damp fabric of his shirt. Exhaling deeply, he runs his free hand through them, joy filling him when Taehyung nuzzles closer against him, and he thinks maybe this baby did come from love after all.
It’s not the traditional sort of love. Not yet. God knows in all the movies this kind of thing brings people together and they walk off into the sunset with their baby and live happily ever after, but they’re nowhere near that stage. Jeongguk wouldn’t mind it, he’d consider it an honor to have Taehyung look at him that way—to do this the way most people do, but he’s happy with what he has.
Either way the wind blows, he does love Taehyung, whether he falls in love with him or not, he wants that love to grow. All he knows is that if Taehyung wakes up tomorrow and says he wants this baby, Jeongguk will do anything in his power to give their child its best life.
He just hopes, just a little, that Taehyung feels the same way.