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When Mary Allamby Bonnet tied an ornate invitation to the leg of a rather persistent seagull, she honestly didn’t expect anything to come of it. Especially not this.
On a whim, she had addressed an invitation to her second wedding to a certain ‘Captain Edwards’ without knowing how she would even begin to track him down to receive it. It was mostly as a gesture of good-wil, even if Stede may never know of itl. However, the night after she had mailed the rest of the invitations out, there was a tapping sound at the window of her bedroom. When she threw open the curtains, Mary was shocked to see a white bird sitting on the sill, staring unblinkingly at her. Slowly, Mary closed the curtains again and backed away.
The seagull was not ready to give up.
The next morning, it was still there, still staring at her like it was seeing into her. Mary left the room and tried to forget it. When she went to the painting studio in her backyard, however, the seagull stood in front of the door, blocking her entrance. Carefully, Mary sidestepped it into the old barn, not breaking eye contact with the bird.
Several hours later, a paint-splattered Mary was returning to her house for dinner when a flash of white in a tree drew her attention. The seagull watched silently as she quickened her pace back home.
After three days of the seagull not leaving her alone, she finally snapped.
“What do you want from me?” Mary shouted, insanely, at a fucking seagull. The seagull, of course, didn’t answer her. If it had, Mary would have had a much bigger problem on her hands.
It did, however, hop through the open window and land directly on Mary’s — formerly Stede’s — writing desk.
And promptly shit directly on the remaining wedding invitation.
Mary took that as a sign.
Rolling up the thick paper as best she could, Mary carefully tied a ribbon around the seagull’s leg, attaching the invite. She felt fucking insane, but honestly what was she to do? The seagull seemed determined to stare at her until she did something and it was really freaking her out.
Invite securely fastened to the seagull’s leg, it let out one shrill squawk and flapped out the window and into the sky.
Mary turned and cracked open a bottle of wine.
(Two days later, on a ship in the middle of the Caribbean, Olivia the seagull landed on the bow next to one Nathaniel Buttons.
“What ‘ave ye got there, Livy?” Buttons asked the bird, who cawed back in response. He untied the ribbon and completed Olivia’s mission, delivering the invitation to Stede, who was busy with a very rumpled-looking Ed.
“What’s all this, then?” Stede asked, his face still flushed from whatever it was Ed had been doing to him.
“Livy had a premonition she would be needed,” Buttons explained gravely, staring off into the middle distance. Ed just nodded sagely.)
And that brought Mary to here, her second wedding. Where an entire crew of pirates had decided to crash.
Of course, they had attempted to dress fancy, some wearing wigs and most seemingly wearing some of Stede’s finer clothes. However, it was clear they were not the aristocracy they were trying to emulate. One of them was wearing a cravat as a sort of headdress.
Mercifully, they didn’t disrupt the ceremony. They sat quietly at the back of the church, piled into the last two pews. Mary could have sworn she saw a couple of them sniffle and wipe under their eyes during the vows.
At the reception, Mary marched over to her dead husband and grabbed him by the elbow, smiling tightly at the men he was standing with, and pulled him to the side where her new husband was waiting.
“What the fuck, Stede?” She demanded, trying to appear calm to any onlookers. “The invitation said ‘plus one’ not ‘plus your entire crew of pirates’!”
Stede grimaced apologetically. “I’m so sorry, Mary. When Olivia delivered the invite, the entire crew caught wind of it and begged to come! I intended only to bring Ed, hoping maybe I could introduce you two, but everyone was so excited at the prospect of going to an actual fancy event that I couldn’t just say no to them!”
Mary looked from Stede’s pleading eyes to Doug, who simply shrugged. “I don’t know, love. I think the more, the merrier! It’s a celebration, after all.” Mary gaped at him.
Taking a deep, stabilizing breath, Mary set her shoulders. “Fine. But please keep them under control, Stede.” Stede nodded quickly. “Now, which one is Ed?”
Stede’s whole face lit up at the sound of the man’s name. But before he could reply, Doug and Mary were whisked off to the dance floor for their first official dance as husband and wife.
The next few hours were a whirlwind. Mary and Doug could hardly have a minute to themselves, between greeting and thanking guests, being pulled out to dance with the crowd, cutting the cake, and other wedding festivities. Under their breaths, however, they speculated.
“That one tall bloke with the neckerchief seems close to Stede, do you think that’s Ed?” Doug asked Mary as he whirled her around. Mary glanced over.
“No, he’s too young. I don’t think Stede is having that kind of midlife crisis,” she replied. “Besides, he keeps checking out the bald one.”
(Black Pete had decided to forego the wig this time, as he did not have good memories of that itchy old thing.)
Mary eyed a blond man who was singing along to the orchestral music, seeming to just be making words up as he went. “Perhaps it’s that man? He has a lovely voice and Stede does enjoy music.”
Doug swallowed his bite of salmon. “Maybe. But I don’t think I’ve seen Stede say a word to him all day.”
Mary considered this. “He never really talked to me when we were married,” she pointed out.
“That’s because he’s gay, darling,” Doug said kindly.
Mary watched as a dark-skinned man politely thanked the waiter who placed a slice of cake in front of him. The man made sure the waiter made eye contact with him as he did so, to see his sincerity. Mary decided she liked him.
“Do you think that’s Ed? He has great manners and you know how much Stede values that in a person,” Mary nodded her head in his direction.
Almost as soon as Doug looked to where she pointed, the man leaned over to the person beside him and pressed a subtle kiss to their cheek. They ducked their head to hide their smile, but Mary could still see the faint flush brighten their skin.
“Never mind,” Doug and Mary said at the same time.
As it got later into the night, Mary and Doug were running out of options. There was only one member of Stede’s crew left that she thought had a possibility of being Ed.
Mary watched from behind her champagne flute as he leaned up against the harpsichord, strumming a cello with his bare fingers like a lunatic. The professional cellist looked like he was going to have a fit. Or maybe faint.
She simply observed quietly as he hummed along to the notes he played, creating a new song as he went. An arm wrapped around her waist and Mary leaned into Doug, tipping her head onto his shoulder.
“Love?” Doug’s voice was barely above a whisper. Mary hummed to show she was listening. “This has been a lovely evening, but I can’t help but notice that one of Stede’s men has been glaring daggers at me all night. I didn’t mention it before because I didn’t want to ruin the mood-”
Mary swung her head up, casting her eyes across the room until she saw who Doug was talking about. There, in the corner, was a man with curly silvered hair pulled back into a half-bun, delicate flowers woven carefully in. Unlike the other pirates, his deep purple suit was perfectly tailored to him, hugging his thighs and shoulders just right. He was, indeed, glaring at Doug, his gaze intense and unwavering.
Before Mary could do anything, Stede walked up to the two of them, face flushed a rosy pink.
“Ah, there you two are!” He said, as if they hadn’t been the focal point of every single event that day and therefore very noticeable. “I’m glad I caught you! I was hoping to introduce you to my Ed!”
Amazingly, he turned over his shoulder and gestured to the man currently attempting to murder Doug with his own eyes.
“Ed! Come meet the happy couple!” The man — Ed??? — peeled himself off the wall and stalked his way over to the group. When he was in range, Stede wrapped his arm tightly around Ed’s waist, beaming up at him warmly. “Mary, Doug, this is my Edward. Edward, meet Mary and Doug!”
Ed lifted his hand in an awkward half-wave, grunting as he did so. Really? thought Mary. This is the man Stede fell in love with? He was all rough edges, furrowed eyebrows, stiff shoulders. He looked as if he could stab you in the back and then turn around and use that same knife to butter a slice of bread. Mary couldn’t see what Stede did.
And then, Stede turned his face into Edward’s neck, placing a soft kiss there, and Ed seemed to melt. His entire expression softened, his body relaxing and draping an arm across Stede’s shoulders.
He looked over at Stede as if he hung the moon.
And suddenly, Mary understood.
It was exactly how Doug looked at her.
Stede smiled a private little smile back up at his lover, his cheeks turning a lovely shade of pink, before turning back to Mary. She grinned back at him, truly happy that they had both found this happiness.
“Captain Edwards, huh?” Doug said, hours later. They were wrapped up in each other, finally able to share their marriage bed without judgment.
“Yeah, he kind of did just put it all out there, didn’t he?” Mary laughed quietly, snuggling in closer.
“Getting a tattoo on his forehead saying ‘I love Edward’ would have been more subtle, I think,” Doug chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of Mary’s head.