Chapter Text
The story so far...
“T-T-Toudai-san, we-we need help!” Tsuki called, holding Hachimenroppi in his arms.
The gynecologist nodded. Toudai could see Tsuki's hands were covered in blood, along with the Heartstone's posterior and thighs. “Come in!”
“Ro-Roppi-san said his stomach was hurting a lot and n-now he's bleeding from his...um, his...”
“Hanablav.” Roppi growled. “The entrance to the womb.”
'His vagina?' Toudai wondered. 'Does he even have a vagina?'
Toudai looked at Roppi's x-rays, then at the images in his bird anatomy book.
'It doesn't look like he has two stomachs like owls do... That must be the first stomach, the proventriculus, there. So, maybe what I've been thinking is the stomach is actually his gizzard. Then maybe that organ to the side is his liver. That's definitely his pancreas its connecting to, so that must be it. Wow, this is really fascinating. Dad would have loved to see this.'
He glanced at the book then back at the x-ray.
'There doesn't seem to be any anomaly on or in his uterus. It doesn't look like there's any broken eggs in his vaginal canal. Even if there was, it would have caused a blockage, so he wouldn't have been able to get those cluster of eggs out.'
He clicked through the images again until he got to the ultrasound.
'Well, there is definitely something in his womb. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that's a fetus.'
Toudai stared at a little black mass within the womb. At four weeks, the doctor knew that mass was a baby. If Roppi was human and female, he'd be certain that was what it was.
'But the problem with this is the fact that he lays eggs. A mammal obviously can't impregnate an oviparous animal. Unless...maybe...they're like a platypus? No, maybe not. Platypus's are mammals that can lay eggs, not birds that can get impregnated by mammals. It's not the same. Hm...'
Toudai leaned back in his chair, staring at the screen.
'I just don't know how their bodies works. If they can truly get impregnated by humans even though they lay eggs...'
“How am I supposed to help him when I don't have a clue how his body works?”
“If only we had another Heartstone.” Tsugaru said, tucking his arms into the sleeves. “Mayhaps their doctor would know more on this subject.”
“W-well, maybe we could talk to Ru-Rubi-kun?!” Tsuki said. “If-if we can find him, maybe...”
“Rubi?” Toudai voiced.
“A friend of Hachimen-san's.” Tsugaru said. “He has been stalking the outskirts of the town, trying to keep an eye on Hachimen-san. He assumed Hachimen-san had been kidnapped, but he put that to rest soon enough.”
“So, who's gonna go find this Rubi guy?” Delic asked.
“I-I'll go.” Tsuki said.
“Absolutely not.” Tsugaru stated. “Hachimen-san said Rubi may attack you out of jealousy.”
“If that is the case, then I will go.” Toudai stated. “This Rubi may not know which one of you is Tsukishima. After all, you all look similar to someone who doesn't know you. With that in mind, it is best none of you blondes go.”
“Probably for the best, yeah.” Delic said.
“I need your help! I swear, I'm not here to hurt anyone! I need to help Roppi-kun, but I can't do that without the guidance of another Heartstone!”
Toudai heard the harpy land, his wings rustling. Toudai looked up. White podotheca's, white wings with pink tips and yellow downy feathers. Now that he was looking at him head on, he could see those blond feathers were on the top of his head, making it look like his roots were blond even though he didn't have roots. He also had a pink plume feather coming from his 'hairline'. The man wore a white croptop, in which Toudai could see the back was laced to provide more movement for the feathers on his back. There was a bright pink tie around his neck, Toudai didn't know why since it was certainly not a dress shirt made into a croptop, but he didn't question it. As Toudai already knew, this man was wearing a tunic, however it looked like the outer layer was white and the interior was pink.
Anatomically, this Heartstone looked a bit different from Roppi. Roppi's talons had two toes in the front and one in the back, while this white birdman had three in the front and one in the back. He also didn't have a bellybutton, which truly shocked Toudai. To see a humanoid without a bellybutton, even though Roppi had one, was such a strange sight.
Toudai pushed himself up on his arm, rubbing his side.
“What's wrong with Roppi?” The harpy asked.
“It's a private matter.” Toudai said, sitting on his rump. “I need to speak to Ru—”
“I'm Rubi, so what happened to Roppi?! Was it that bastard human?!”
Toudai glowered. “Please, refrain from speaking so harshly. Tsuki has treated Roppi-kun with nothing but love and adoration. He has done nothing. If anything, Roppi-kun's pregnancy is the cause of this.”
“If...Is it okay if I see Roppi?”
Roppi let out a sigh. “Go home, Rubi. I'll be okay.”
“...Alright, fine. I won't question your choices, but...” Rubi looked up. “But I want to stay. I mean, I'm a xalaj. It's my job to protect the clan. If you're going to stay here, I want to stay. I mean...there's nothing wrong with an extra pair of muscles around, right?”
“....I do-don't know...” Tsuki said. “I-I think it's okay, so-so long as you're not alone with-with Roppi-san.”
Rubi cocked a brow. “Why can't I be alone with him?”
“Because if there is even a moment,” Tsugaru said, “where someone could claim that Hachimen-san was alone with another of his species or lacked monitoring, then they can also claim that whoever he was with is the actual father, not Tsuki. Unfortunately, we cannot leave you alone with Hachimen-san at any given time.”
“That means he can't sleep in our house.” Delic said. “Because if everyone is sleeping, then someone can point out that Rubi snuck into Roppi's bed.”
“B-but Roppi-san sl-sleeps with me.” Tsuki stated.
“We know that. But members of the council don't and explaining that to them may look like a lie or excuse. We can't take the risk.”
Rubi glowered.
“Well...” Toudai started.
Everyone looked at him.
“What if Rubi-kun stays here?”
Toudai was quiet, thinking back on what that strange man had said.
“You can't live your life in fear. It is you're life, after all.”
“There is nothing we can do about your curse. It is something cast upon you by a being above us. However, there are always loopholes to curses."
“Just live, young girl. Live and be happy. It's the only way you can beat this curse that bastard placed on you.”
“From these lips, did you not say, 'If you know of my curse, then is it possible you can do something about it? Can you undo it?'”
Toudai glowered at the man with no face. She couldn't deny the accusation.
“You cannot escape from your birthright. Your fate was decided for you by your rebellious, reckless parents.”
“And what is my fate?”
“You already know the answer.”
Toudai glowered.
“However, that could all end. You would simply need to become mine.”
“No. Even if it's a restricted life, it is still my life. I'm not going to give it up to become your property.”
The man was silent for a moment. Then he said, “As you wish.”
And separated from Toudai.
“Just remember and never forget.” He said, “So long as you are a male, you will live contently. However, the moment you decide to be a female, you will be cursed to acts of unending suffering.”
“I know.”
“Then know that if you care for your loved ones, you will never tell them such.”
The man backed away into the shadows. The black engulfed his white flesh.
“Your love will be their doom.”
Toudai clenched her fists. “...I know.”
“It's just not fair.” Rubi growled. “It's not fair at all!”
Rubi's fist slammed on the table.
“I've been with Roppi since we were Rookery-kin's! I've defended him from the other's who wanted to bully him, the adults who alienated him! I let him cry on my shoulder when his family abandoned him! I stood as his barricade and pathed a way for him to do what he wanted to do! There was no chance he would have been able to join the xalaj if I hadn't told Nishiki I won't join unless Roppi joins too! I wanted Roppi to be successful and I'm willing to do all I can to make that true! So, why?!”
Rubi pressed his hands over his eyes.
“Why him? What the hell does Tsuki have that I don't?! It's so infuriating!”
'He wants to marry a person who didn't want him.' Toudai thought. 'Then there's me, who wishes he could marry a person but can't. We're a pair of brothers in arms, huh?'
“Why can't you love that Tsugaru guy? The actual reason.”
Toudai glowered.
“I mean, you know why me and Roppi didn't work. So, it's only fair that I know why you and him won't. And you only gave me a vague reason. That he'll be doomed if you love him.”
“It's complicated.”
“Well, it can't be that complicated if you're human.”
The doctor fully glared. He then let out a heavy sigh and rubbed his hand through his hair.
“To put it simply, I can't ever acknowledge that I'm a woman. If I choose to love Tsugaru, it will be registering that I'm a woman.”
“I don't really get it. If you're pretending to be a man, then can't you just be a ninepow? 'The one who gives', as in the one who gives the semen?”
“No, I can't. Not with my body parts.”
“Oh, come on! If you can't acknowledge you're a woman then every time you pee, you're going against what you're supposed to do!”
Toudai's eyes widened. He never thought of that before. Then he recalled what the man on the mountain said.
“There are always loopholes to curses.”
'Then...then does that mea n I can show him myself without something happening?'
Toudai let his shirt drop. “Well, looking at this differently, you're right. If I'm not supposed to be a woman but I can't acknowledge it, then every time I use the water closet I should have been suffering. The fact that I'm not is proof that my...condition is in the literal sense. Things only happen so long as I don't acknowledge I'm a woman. So, in theory, if I still believe I'm a man, I can still do everything I want. I can still have sex, I can still be affectionate. I just have to do it as a man. If I am a homosexual, it should be okay to have sex with another man without consequence.”
“I thought you said I'd be an exception because I'm not human.”
“I'm not an exception though.”
'You're not an exception, honestly. Endless suffering can still potentially happen to you, but I don't care for you, so I won't suffer. This situation is perfect for me.'
“And I mean,” Toudai continued, “You said you were willing to comfort me yesterday.”
“Are you okay with this?” Rubi asked.
“I am.”
“But what about Tsugaru?”
“This it better like this. I'll be able to let Tsugaru go easier if I have someone to help me forget him.”
“So, what you want me to do the same thing because Roppi broke my heart?”
“If you want to. I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to.”
Rubi held back a laugh. “Oh, wow. Consent is so hot.”
“So, are we...?” Toudai asked.
Rubi looked at him for a moment, then smiled and wrapped his arms around Toudai's lower back. His curled talon-like nails slightly dug into his skin.
“We're going to have to set some ground rules though.” Rubi said.
“Okay.”
“So, first off. No deep kisses. I don't want to give you my hiistrak.”
“What's that?”
“Okay, so, our first deep kiss holds a huge cluster of concentrated pheromones in the saliva. Once we inject it into the other person, we'll always be able to find that person after that. The pheromones will secrete this nice sweet smell that we'll be able to find wherever the other goes.”
Toudai nodded. “Okay, yeah. That's definitely something you shouldn't give to me.”
Rubi nodded. “The last rule—and this is the most important one. No ejaculation while penetrating.”
“Of course not.” Toudai said. “I don't want to get pregnant.”
Rubi nodded. “Alright, so, if we're agreed...”
Rubi's arms wrapped around Toudai completely. He pulled the raven forward and flipped him over on his back. The raven gasped and clung to the harpy tightly. Rubi placed him gently on the mattress, looming over him. He stared down at Toudai with a haughty gaze. Such a stare made Toudai's heart pump.
“Let's see how well we can please each other.”
Toudai groaned. Something heavy was lying on his chest, making it hard to breathe and hard to sleep. He forced his eyes open. The room was pitch black, night still prominent. The only light source in the room was his dimmed down oil lamp. He reached over, moving whatever was on his chest down to his stomach, and turned the lamp up.
With the room illuminated, he looked down to see a prominent, feather-covered arm. He looked at Rubi, confused to see him there. He hadn't fallen asleep with the harpy there. The two had sex, Toudai lied down because he was drowsy while Rubi left to go shower. He certainly wasn't there when the doctor went to bed, nor did he expect to see him there when he woke up.
The two had sex, Toudai lied down because he was drowsy while Rubi left to go shower. He certainly wasn't there when the doctor went to bed, nor did he expect to see him there when he woke up.
Seeing Rubi filled Toudai's chest with warmth. He felt an affection swell. Something more than just general sex. Toudai's brows furrowed at the sensation.
He turned his head away.
'No, no, no. This is just sex. Just sex. Don't get attached. Don't...'
Toudai stared at the harpy's sleeping face. He looked so peaceful. So serene. So attractive. So...infatuating. Toudai wanted to touch him. He wanted to place affection on him. He wanted to kiss him. The urge was strong and profound and he didn't want to refuse it. She just couldn't resist the urge to kiss...his cheek.
Immediately, Toudai felt like he shouldn't have done that.
'Stop it. Stop it, stop it, stop it!' Toudai clenched his teeth. 'This is just sex. Why am I getting all fluttery?'
Toudai let out a heavy sigh.
'Its like I want to catch feelings here...'
The doctor then stood, in which Shiro, his cat, trilled and sat up. The cat stretched his back up then out. He then hopped down and followed after Toudai. The doctor went to the closet to change clothes. Shiro rubbed up against his leg.
'I think...I think it's about time I end this relationship. If we keep going like this, I might hurt him—or more-likely, I'm going to get hurt.'
“It's alright.” The white harpy said, rubbing his cheek against Toudai's head. “It'll be alright. It was just a dream, you know.”
Toudai glowered as he looked up at him. Such a statement really hurt, considering the dream was about being loved. “That's not the issue...!”
“Then what's the issue?” Rubi looked down at him.
Their eyes met. A spark happened. Toudai had never felt such a thing before, not even with Tsugaru. But just by looking at those beautiful pink eyes, he felt an undeniable urge. A desire to throw caution to the wind. He wanted to kiss Rubi. And from Rubi's eyes widening, he felt it too. He had to have.
Toudai went up on his tiptoes. His hands caressed Rubi's shoulders as he brought his mouth closer. His heart was beating in his ears. His head emptied. She wanted to kiss him. She wanted to love—
Rubi put his hand over Toudai's mouth. Her eyes widened.
“I told you no kisses.” Rubi said, glowering down at her.
Toudai's heart felt like it stopped.
“I'm willing to comfort you, but not like that.” Rubi took a step back, patting Toudai's head. “My hiistrak is only for my life-mate.”
The raven's heart sunk to her stomach from such a statement. Toudai didn't know how to respond. She—He didn't know what to respond with. So, instead, he grabbed Rubi's hand and pushed it away as he tilted his head down.
“Right...” Toudai turned away.
“But I can still—”
“I have work. Go hide in your room, please.”
Rubi glowered. Toudai didn't care, however, as he turned away.
'That was a mistake.' Toudai thought.
Anxiety started to twist in his stomach, worry clawing at him. That moment of weakness could have easily brought ruin to him. All because he got confused...
'That was such a mistake.'
Toudai's eyes stretched wide. “Sh-Shiro?”
The feline's side was rising and falling in quick, heavy breathes. He was panting like a dog with his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
“What's wrong with him?” Rubi asked, looking confused as he reached out to touch the feline. “Why is he—”
Toudai slapped his hand away. Rubi looked at him wide-eyed.
'This is all my fault.' Toudai thought as his hands went cold. 'This is all my fault. Because of Rubi, I...This is...'
“Oi, doc.” Rubi said, “What is—”
“Get out.”
Rubi's eyes widened again.
“Get out of my house.”
Toudai took off his coat and put it by his cat.
“What, why?” Rubi glowered with obvious confusion.
Toudai didn't answer as carefully lifted Shiro up. The cat hissed, which made guilt riddle his heart, but he had to move him regardless. He put Shiro down on his coat.
What the hell is that?!” Rubi growled. “It's not like I did this! I—”
“You did do this! Get out!”
“How is this my—”
“Because of what we've done! Because we...!”
Toudai couldn't finish the sentence. Rubi wouldn't understand. Toudai wasn't allowed to tell anyone what was wrong with him. He couldn't tell anyone about his curse, about his life. It could only get worse if he did.
No, Toudai had to keep everything to himself. He couldn't explain himself to Rubi. All he could do was eliminate the reason his heart ached. He had to remove the one thing that would make Toudai fall from his gender norms.
But right now, that wasn't important. Shiro was the most important. He had to try and get help for Shiro. He couldn't help him himself, so he had to go to the only one who could—Shinra.
“Just get out!” Toudai hissed as he wrapped the cat up as gently as he could. “You're not welcome here anymore and I'll explain it all to Shiki-san!”
'Did Rubi...actually leave?'
The raven wanted to call out for him, but he couldn't find his voice. So, instead, he went down the hall to the harpy's room. He knocked on the door. There was no response. Toudai opened the door.
The room was dark. He flicked on the light. Sure enough, Rubi wasn't there and all his stuff was gone—even the sleeveless half-yukata's that Toudai had made for him.
'So, he really did...'
Toudai wasn't happy about that. Even though he was the one who told Rubi to leave, he really wanted the harpy to comfort him. He wanted to sit in Rubi's arms and cry for a bit. But that wouldn't happen now.
'...It's for the best.' Toudai decided. 'It was because I started developing affection for him that Shiro died. I shouldn't allow a chance for something worse to happen.'
Right now, he just wanted to sleep. Maybe everything will be okay in the morning...
“Things are never going to be that simple for you, especially not now.”
'Please be wrong. Please be wrong. Please, be anything but what I'm thinking. Please, please, please.'
He waited for thirty minutes before the machine finally finished. He perked up to the beep, jumping to his feet and rushing over. He stood by the printer, where it was dispensing the results. He held the end of the paper. He wanted to pull it out, but the ink wouldn't be able to apply to the paper if he did, so he had to wait.
It had only taken a few seconds, but it felt like another ten minutes before the paper was finished. He didn't hesitate to flip it over.
Toudai's legs felt weak at the sight. He slowly sunk down until he sat on the floor.
“No...” He muttered, “No...I can't be pregnant...”
She needed to get help from Rubi.
“You can tell me here.” Rubi stated. “I don't see a reason to be alone with you.”
“But Rubi—”
“Either you tell me here, or you go away. Your choice.”
Toudai clenched his teeth. 'But your clanmates...!'
The doctor seemed to have no choice in the matter. She let out a soft sigh. “Fine.”
Toudai stood upright. She maintained eye contact with Rubi and only Rubi as the controversial words left her lips.
“I'm pregnant.”
Rubi's eyes widened.
“And I don't know what to do. I need your help. We need to figure out what we're—”
“What do you mean 'we'?!” The blue-and-orange Heartstone yelled, a look of outrage crossing his face. “Are you saying that Òmgotoris is the ninepow?!”
“Ha! As if!” The other boy laughed. “Like Òmgotoris would ever lay with a human!”
“That is such a disgusting lie!”
“You humans really are the worse! Who lies about who the ninepow is?!”
Such words hurt. However, she didn't look at them. She kept eye contact with Rubi and only Rubi. She waited for the blond to respond with bated breath and clenched teeth. She had a feeling the nervousness she felt was on her expression.
Rubi was silent for a long time, All the while, the boys continued to badger and accuse Toudai. Rubi did nothing to stop them, so Toudai had to just put up with the abuse.
Finally, he sneered with a chuckle. Toudai's heart twisted at the sight.
“As if I would ever sleep with a human.” Rubi said.
'So, that's it? That's all I ever was to you? You didn't care about me at all? Not even a little? I was the only one to develop a crush! And now I'm the only one who's going to pay for it!'
“Have...” Hibiya started, “Have you thought of leaving?”
Toudai clenched her teeth. “...It crossed my mind. But...But this place is my home! I grew up here. I just...I can't just abandon everything.”
“I...I do not tell you this to tell you what you should do. However, I just wish to point out that many of our clanmates have left our clan for the sake of their child. One clanmate, for instance, named Psyche,”
Toudai perked to the name. The name that Tsugaru rejected her for.
“Was impregnated. They were abandoned by the human that impregnated them. Although Psyche was madly in love with his human and convinced their human would come back for them, that human never did. So, they eventually decided to leave with their baby, to join another clan by the coast.”
“...This clan you speak of,” Toudai started, “Are they okay with human occupants?”
Hibiya looked down at him. “Oh, yes. I heard that they're cohabiting with the human fishing village. Although, it is just a rumor. I have not been there myself.”
Toudai hesitated to say anything. “...So, my baby would be safe there.”
Hibiya tightened his hug. “Without question.”
So, if she was going to do this, she had to do it right.
When she woke, she knew what she was going to do.
“Delic.” Toudai said.
“I need you to do me a favor today.”
“Sure. What is it?”
“I need you to get me a horse.”
Delic's eyes widened as he cocked a brow. “A horse?”
“Yes, a horse.”
“Hibiya-san.” Toudai said.
“Yes?”
“I need you to do me a favor as well.”
“What can I do for you?”
“I need you to go back to your clan. Ask around and try and find out where that Hearstone clan is. The one that welcomes humans and half-breeds on the coast.”
To whom it may concern...
I, Kurashi Toudaimoto, have decided for various reasons to leave this town. I have been treated kindly by most of the residence, but it is time I expand my horizons and see the world. I have gone on a journey and I do not believe I will be back.
I leave my house and all its content to Kaikyo “Delic” Tsunemi and his partner, Hibiya the Heartstone.
I leave my medical equipment and medical files to Kishitani Shingen and Kishitani Shinra. Please take care of my patients in my absence.
I leave my father's belongings to Haruya Shiki. I entrust him to protect my father's possessions and respect their sentimental value. I will be taking my father's ashes, however, the rest I leave in Shiki-san's care.
To Tsukishima and Hachimenroppi, I humbly apologize for my previous behavior. I hold no anomisty towards either of you or to Heartstone's in general. I am aware no amount of explaining will excuse my behavior, but I will make it known that I regret my actions and the relationship I have soured. I am truly sorry and wish for it to be known that I still love you like a brother, Tsukishima, and I hope you and Hachimenroppi the best. I pray to God and The Sister that your pregnancy goes well and you will both live happily together.
To Shiki-san, thank you for the pleasant years and taking care of me till now. I greatly appreciate all you've done for me. I wish you the best of luck with your future endeavors and I hope the treaty between the town and the Heartstone clan goes well.
Sincerely, Kurashi Toudaimoto