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After the war between the Shogunate and those who resisted its oppression, Sara lived in the rift between the peace bestowed by the passage of time and the violence that raised her. The Tenryou Commission served little purpose in Inazuma and the politics surrounding their clan’s standing grew more intensely by the day that she felt suffocated in her own estate.
She had defected from the Kujou Clan. Her ignorance of the dealings with the Fatui was a testament to unforgivable negligence, unbecoming incompetence that disgraced the Raiden Shogun. Along this emancipation was her resignation from the Tenryou Commission, abandoning her history on the battlefield as a distant memory she scorned.
But who was Sara without the battlefield?
Her back touched a door of a deserted wreckage buried in the scorching sand of Nazuchi Beach, she had taken her time to at least make the least ruined cabin of the ship livable at best, it became her temporary makeshift quarters when she had nowhere to return. No homes she can brazenly present directions.
The Kujou Estate was vast. Tranquility fled during early mornings through the loud rhythmical counting for her relatives’ training. Evenings, on the other hand, was silent. So much so that the blank area in her room would sometimes move into something sentient at times, like an incarnation of her loneliness in a transactional family.
Sara stared at the broken ceiling of the ship wreckage as her back was pricked by the splinting wood she lay on.
It was the fourth night following her emancipation and she thought it would have been easier. The face of the former Kujou Clan head haunted her, the boiling glare so full of disappointment and disgust. That was the same exact expression she would see when she was younger, when she would fail to hit consecutive targets during military training.
Of course, a young Sara had not known she could have gotten the right to resent the family that took her under their wing for capitalizing on her strength, plundering her access to her own autonomy. She could merely discard it as discipline and love, a twisted sense of excitement to see her growth. After all, she became a formidable general of the Tenryou Commission, it all worked out in the end.
However, four nights ago, she was reduced to an ungrateful kid they bathed and fed. It hurt not because she was oblivious of her ostracism within the Kujou Clan, it hurt because she believed that the world should at least have the decency to allow her survival without earning devious gazes from the Kujou Clan.
The last time she felt her survival’s permission was during peace talks with the Watatsumi Army. The warmth of their Divine Priestess rivaled the sand of Nazuchi Beach that absorbed the coastal heat.
She recalled how Sangonomiya Kokomi—the way this name escaped the lips of her mind pacified a part of her brain she couldn’t place—would welcome her in the secluded space in Tatarasuna where they negotiated in the aftermath of the war.
All clauses were gradually resolved, little by little their compromises began filling the gaps caused by the Shogunate’s rulership. Maritime security, inter-regional trade, economic collaboration were some of the many national matters they resolved, and the reasons to meet on official business thinned by the day.
Once they have drafted a resolution for the automatic enlistment of military assistance from the Shogunate should any overseas diplomatic anomalies arise within Watatsumi and Yashiori, they no longer had a reason to indulge in each other’s presence and Sara considered waging war just to repeat the entire process again.
“Provide military assistance from the Shogunate. Tha—“
“Corr—Oh, my apologies.”
Sara’s brows furrowed, some sort of dust swirling in her chest. “May I know what for?”
“For interrupting you. I mistakenly thought you’ve finished your sentence.”
The mysterious dust in Sara’s chest exploded, ceasing her ability to breathe properly. She could hear her own heartbeat along with the waves near the shore of the Tatarasuna coastline. They conducted peace talks there due to the geographical neutrality of the place despite being a territory of the Shogunate.
There were only so many times she had been apologized to for something so little as interrupting her. She would be lying to say that she was not moved a little.
“I don’t mind, Lady Sangonomiya.” Sara coughed. “Going back, military assistance isn’t a bad idea. After all, Watatsumi and Yashiori do serve as the westward frontier of Inazuma, it’s beneficial to all parties as far as I’m concerned.”
“I see,” said Kokomi. Sara never had the chance to know what went on inside Kokomi’s brain and she had neither the aptitude nor desire to do so. However, now that negotiations have ended, Sara wanted to at least have an idea whether Kokomi enjoyed her company despite the perfunctory diplomacy.
Because Sara did. More so than she was allowed.
In the past months, Kokomi would crack jokes in between negotiations. She would make the atmosphere lighter without reducing the tragedy. She was brilliant, so full of wit that Sara’s fascination transcended the superficial beauty of her facial features. She was amicable, genuinely so, not in a way that her position entailed her courteousness. Kokomi was the type of human Sara had never met, she wished to have known her sooner.
“General Kujou,” said Kokomi in a nonchalant tone as if making conversation, she reclined herself on the backrest of the portable chairs prepared. “Peace talks are more or less wrapped up, what are your plans after this?”
“My plans? Why?”
“You don’t have to answer. However you live in this Inazuma without war is up to your own volition and I hope you don’t regard myself as nosy.”
“Not at all. I was merely taken aback since I’ve never thought about it.”
In truth, a small voice at the back of her head was calculating when was the last time she had spoken about herself.
Sara saw Kokomi as a breather and her time with Kokomi took place in a tertiary dimension that transcended the land they sat on. It was solemn in that dimension that Kokomi’s voice was all there was to hear and she didn’t have it in her to complain.
“You have all the time in the world to think it through, General. But whatever your decision is, know that my doors in Watatsumi remain open as I await your visit.”
It wasn’t like Kokomi was only being polite but how else could Sara justify the foreign whirlpool in her stomach.
“You have my word.”
That following morning, Sara took a trip to the Grand Narukami Shrine in search of Yae Miko.
A silhouette of a tall woman came into view, serenely watching the Sacred Sakura Tree in adoration. Sara made sure to maintain some distance from the platform’s stairs before greeting. She inhaled deeply, she didn’t know why.
“Guuji Yae,” she prefaced. “May I have a word with you?”
Yae Miko didn’t have to exert so much effort that she would turn and face Sara. “You’ve already intruded, dear Kujou Sara, it doesn’t seem like I have much of a choice, do I?”
Sara snickered at Miko’s statement. “You make your own choices. I’m afraid no matter how I corner you, you will always find a way to escape.”
“You’re not wrong,” said Miko with a giggle. “What brings you here?”
“For your blessing,” Sara replied, eyes looking directly at the priestess. “You brought me the Kujou family to mellow me down and I’m, one way or another, grateful for your intervention but I think I’ve grown past the Kujou Estate’s walls. My defection from the clan does not diminish my gratitude to you.”
Dropping on one knee to bow in respect. “Thank you, Guuji Yae.”
There was a flick of fondness in Miko’s eyes. It wasn’t hard to conclude that Sara’s visit to the shrine will escalate to another old friend’s departure. It need not be emotional.
“You don’t have to glorify your years with the Kujou, the ‘thank you’ sufficed.”
“Did it sound that way, like it was glorified?”
“Did you want to make it sound that way?”
“I didn’t.”
“Then it didn’t,” Miko told Sara with a lopsided smile. “Anyway, run along now, Sara, the journey to Watatsumi isn’t short.”
“Yes—excuse me?”
Covering her mouth with her palm, Miko chuckled. “You prayed for their priestess here, don’t you? It’s childishly sweet, praying to gods that you may convey whatever feelings you have if only you’ve been a little more discreet.”
Sara’s face flushed, unaware that even a whisper under her breath wouldn’t slip past Miko’s ears. She began widening the distance between them to evade the insufferable mischief of the kitsune. “I shall be off now, Guuji Yae!” She didn’t even hear Miko’s reply before running off westward.
The boat ride to Watatsumi was treacherous. Sara’s pace was beyond what one may consider safe. Kokomi’s face, voice, and laughter kept replaying in an infinite loop in her head as she sped through the seas. The tones of Watatsumi Island met her eye and a smile intruded on her lips, she was breathing easier in so long.
The reel of Kokomi’s majesty replayed in her head even as Sara disembarked the waverider, as she walked her way to the Watatsumi Shrine, as she asked a blue-clad shrine maiden to inform their priestess of her presence.
Descending the lavish staircase of the shrine was Kokomi, equally flushed. Kokomi’s gaze flitted from Sara’s face to the ground to the sky to wherever it was least awkward.
Time slowed down for Sara. Her vision was glued on Kokomi, unable to avert her sight even if she wanted to, in fear that the only good thing in her life would disappear. She pursued eternity her entire life and the first time she faced Kokomi beyond the context of diplomacy felt as though it was etched intricately in her mind.
The sky suddenly seemed clearer, the clouds were white and soft as the sky shied beyond the feather-like heavens. The soft crashes of the fountains in the shrine rang soundly in Sara’s ears, accompanying the distant tune of the seaside wave. Every aspect of the surroundings was lucid, almost threatening Sara that this exact memory was to be remembered her entire life.
Then there was Kokomi.
Graceful as each step brought her closer to Sara. Her dress fluttered along with the wind’s dance and the sun could only succumb to her light.
“Hey,” greeted the priestess. “I didn’t think you’d be back so soon, General.”
Sara took a sharp breath, shutting her eyes tightly but was then welcomed by the same fear of Kokomi vanishing. She said in one breath:
“Remember when you asked me what my plans are after everything the war ensues? I still don’t know. From this point forward, I’m navigating my life under my own sole discretion and as much as I’m unsure of my own trajectory, I’ve ascertained that there are things I can’t go another day without you knowing. I’ve been emancipated from the Kujou Clan and what stands before you now is a broken woman who’s given up her identity with not a single home to her name.
“But for what it’s worth, I’ve always looked forward to seeing and meeting you again with every excuse I have. Now that I’ve run out, I can only wish that my lack of articulation with words may suffice. You are what literature described as love and happiness—both concepts I have no deep understanding of but.. that’s you.
“In my short time with you, I was able to imitate happiness. Thank you.”
Kokomi replied, “Are you here to woo me?”
“I’m here to thank you.”
The priestess tiptoed, her lacking height could only reach Sara’s eyelids instead of the forehead. Kokomi’s lips were pressed on Sara’s left eyelid, dust so warm and fuzzy began surging in Sara’s stomach that she wanted to throw up.
Sara’s arms wrapped around Kokomi’s waist, her head rested on the latter’s left shoulder. Kokomi could feel a warm liquid spreading on her left sleeve and she surmised that Sara was emotional. She caressed Sara’s hair, letting her cry, gently stroking the locks with utmost care as if what she held was not a fearsome general but a human so fragile that it would break with a gust of wind.
The former general shrank in the priestess’ warmth, letting the weakness she suppressed in pursuit of incontestable strength wrap her. She still had a long way before piecing herself back together, good thing Kokomi was one of her first steps.
“Thank you,” Sara thanked Kokomi once more. She wasn’t stopping any time soon.