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I was furious. Like ‘I can throw that cocky kid out of helo right now’ kind of furious. I was not sure what made me so worked up, but I was. Maybe because Clay was Ash Spenser’s kid. Or simply because he just killed the HVT we were supposed to capture alive.
As soon as helo landed, Spenser tried to walk away quickly like he can get away from this by using his daddy’s name.
And that’s what made my last resistance snapped. I stormed to Spenser and grabbed his vast.
“JASON!” I could hear Ray’s voice. The voice that usually puts some sense back to me. But this time it didn’t. I kept throttling the kid.
And Ray tore me away from Spenser.
“I’m not letting him walk away like that!” I yelled. I was mad. I had to teach that arrogant kid a lesson and just got interrupted.
“Yes you do.” But I just let Ray calm me down or whatever. Not like I had a choice.
“That wasn’t you.” Ray inquired.
I knew it. But I didn’t want to admit it.
“It was. He screwed up. So I taught him a lesson.” I snapped.
“No, that’s not it. You know why he did it. And you can’t blame him. That’s what we learned to do. They don’t tell us to see hands. What would you do if it was Brock, Trent, Sonny or me? Probably just gonna tell us to look at the hand next time. You don’t go physical like that. It was because he was Spenser’s kid.”
I sighed. Probably Ray was right. Ray is always right.
“Yeah.” I admitted.
“He is not his dad. He is talented. We need him on Bravo. You saw his language skills. Also you don’t ace the green team by his dad’s name.”
“I don’t know. He is too cocky to fit.” I protested.
“About that. Do you think it’s easy to go through a green team with the last name Spenser? Probably lots of guys are like you. Maybe he had to be cocky to protect himself. I think he will open up once he sees what family is like.”
That was the perspective I never thought about. And made me feel guilty.
“Still, the team has to agree.” I insisted.
XXX
That was months ago. Surprisingly everyone agreed to have Spenser on the team. Even Sonny who grumbled and pouted agreed.
And now we were gathered in a team room with a box of beer. I was going to make up for what I did. And show what family is like. What Bravo is like.
“There he is!” I cheered when Clay walked in with a beer box that looks like some fancy foreign beer.
I walked up to Clay and patted his shoulder.
And I could feel Clay flinching. That reminded me how much I screwed up last time. And I looked up to see Clay’s face. He looked nothing but cocky. He just looked like a scared kid. My heart ached and I knew I needed to make it right. I wanted Clay to know he would be safe around me.
“Can we talk in a cage room in private?” I suggested and Clay nodded.
XXX
I closed the cage room door and looked at Clay.
Why does this kid look so much like Mikey when he is scared?
It was such a weird feeling.
Like I was mad and furious with a kid not long ago. And now I just feel fatherly protectiveness towards him.
“I’m sorry that I went physical with you last time.”
I started.
“It’s fine. Used to it.” Clay mumbled.
Used to it?
‘Do you think it’s easy to go through a green team with the last name Spenser? Probably lots of guys are like you.’ I remembered what Ray said.
“Have other guys hurt you?” I asked. Please say no. He doesn't deserve it. No one deserve it.
“Ye…ah”
Now I am mad with myself. Because I was also the one of the guys who hurt him. Part of this was my own fault.
“Clay…” I tried to speak.
“It’s fine. You are good. Everyone did it. Even my da…” He suddenly stopped. His face was saying that he was regretting spilling too much information to a guy who hurt him.
But I already heard it.
Even his own dad hurt him.
I was being dick for his dad who hurt him.
I screwed up so much.
It’s going to be tough making up with Clay and gaining his trust and making sure that he knows he is safe.
“Look at me Clay. I am so sorry that I hurt you. I’m regretting it. I shouldn’t have judged you by your name. Killing HVT was the right thing to do and that’s what you are trained to do. I shouldn’t be mad with you. I am so sorry that other people hurt you. I know it will take time to believe me. But I will never hurt you again. I will never let others hurt you again. I swear.”
I looked at Clay and found his eyes were a bit watery. Feeling as fatherly as I feel to Emma and Mikey, I gently hugged him.
“Welcome to family kiddo.”