Chapter Text
Prologue
A Bread’s Bread-End Destination
???: Have you ever woken up and felt… out of place?
???: That feeling that something isn’t right.
???: It overwhelms you and takes a hold of you.
???: Maybe you woke up at the end of class, and your teacher criticizes you for sleeping all day.
???: The times when life becomes a fever dream.
???: The times when life is screaming at you to run.
???: To run from every situation that makes you dread life… is what I feel now.
???: Did I oversleep? Did I get kidnapped? Did I sleep through class again? Did I die?
???: Those are the thoughts that are running through my head right now as I wake up in a room full of darkness.
???: I’m… I’m sitting at a desk, so… did I oversleep… and the teacher didn’t wake me up? Why not? Maybe that means I’m not alive?
???: …
???: Pull yourself together, White.
White: If you were dead, then you wouldn’t be thinking to yourself right now.
White: Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Just like what everyone says to do…
White: You can do this.
White: Just get up… and find a light. It’s… just that easy, right?
White: I could feel myself bumping into desks and kicking wads of paper around as I fall into a wall. My hand roams around for a light.
White: God, did I stay outside of my house for too long? My fingers feel so weak. I-I hope I’m not all moldy. …Why is that what I’m thinking about right now?
White: Oh, finally, a switch.
White: I flick it on.
White: The room reveals itself to me. It’s just like any other classroom. Rows of wooden desks, a podium for the teacher, a whiteboard… but what drew my attention toward it the most was the mirror that was standing in the corner of the room.
White: I plant my feet in front of it.
White: Yep. That’s certainly me.
White: I look as normal as ever.
White: After all, I am the Ultimate Average Bread . I’m the most average of the average, maybe even more average than your typical, everyday, average bread. I’m the pinnacle of average.
White: Heck, it’s my recognized talent from those Talent Scouters . The whole reason I went to Hope’s Breadcademy was solely because of how “normal” I am. It’s a little sad, isn’t it?
White: I’m so painfully average that that’s all I’m good for. I’m just average. I get average grades, like average food, attend everyday events, seek normal love, exercise the recommended amount, eat the daily amount of food necessary for an everyday bread to live.
White: It’s… kind of pathetic, isn’t it?
White: I’m… kind of pathetic.
White: …
White: …If I were kidnapped, why?
White: There’s no point in kidnapping me.
White: I’m average.
White: Nobody would want to rescue me, unless some superhero was coming to save me.
White: …But where is my kidnapper? Where is the fear, the shock, the crying, the despair…?
White: Why is this happening to me?
White: Hello?
White: My voice is weak… and brittle. Any sudden move would break it into silence.
White: I-If you’re here… show yourself! I… I’m not a-afraid of you!
White: But, of course, I am afraid.
White: I’m only masking my fear with false bravery.
White: The more and more I fear, though, nothing tries to get me.
White: Maybe I’m just overreacting. Maybe I’m… just back in High School again… for… some reason. Pulled out of my average life…
White: It… hurts. I… want to go back.
White: I… can’t be anything other than average.
???: *BANG!*
White: The door slams open. I jump. I freeze. I shake. Who is it…? Who is… behind me?
White: …
???: …
???: White?
White: They know my… wait…
White: I recognize that voice.
White: I turn around… and I see‒
White: …a jolly bread with a large sun hat decorated with flowers and a dirty, red plaid t-shirt and jeans.
Wheat: Heeeey! White, I didn’t expect to see you here!
White: Wheat, the Ultimate Farmer , is one of my middle school friends. We were inseparable.
White: I’m… not quite fond of other Ultimates. They have talent that I don’t have. My talent is quite literally to be exceptionally average, but…
White: Wheat is an exception. They are one of my best buds ever since we both took a culinary class in 7th grade and ended up grouped together. They’ve always been an excellent farmer in their free time, so I’m not surprised that they got officially recognized for it.
White: Wheat, where are we? Do you know?
Wheat: No, I don’t. I wish I did though.
White: Is it bad?
Wheat: Who knows? I’m just glad I have an old friend to help me through this situation.
White: Heheh… yeah.
White: We were close friends for a couple years, but we had to go to separate high schools. Wheat’s pretty bad with phone calls, and they hate texting, for some reason. Maybe it’s because their hands are always dirty, and they don’t want to touch the screen so much? Regardless, I always missed talking to them. This… definitely improves my mood.
Wheat: God, we have so much to catch up on! While I was in high school, I went to one of those Breadcademy for Gifted Bread-Juveniles or whatever!
White: You did?
Wheat: Yeah! Hope’s Breadcademy. The name is a little weird, but it’s such a great place!
Wheat: In fact, this whole place reminds me of it. Do you have any idea why we’re here?
White: Why would I know?
White: Wheat shrugs their shoulders.
Wheat: I dunno.
White: Wait, how did you find me? Where did you come from?
Wheat: Oh, I came from a neighboring classroom. This whole place is lit up outside of the classrooms.
White: Yeah. This room was pretty dark, until I found the light.
Wheat: Well? Let’s explore!
White: They roughly grab my hand, pulling me out of the door and into a long hallway, classroom doors on each wall in groups of three. A large toaster oven sits at the end of the hallway, attached to a wall.
White: Hey! Slow down!
Wheat: What? There might be other bread here.
White: What if our captor is here?
Wheat: Oh, please, if they wanted to make themselves all intimidating or whatever, then they would’ve done that already!
White: This is… super weird.
Wheat: Of course that’s what you’d focus on. Now come on already! Maybe there are others‒
???: What is all of this ruckus, hmm~?
White: Before us stands a tall, thin man who looks like a beanpole made out of pretentious flour. His beret and dapper attire made him oddly intimidating.
Wheat: Who are you?
Baguette: Why I am Baguette, the Ultimate Connoisseur . Please don’t tell me you don’t know who I am.
White: Um… sorry, we don’t.
Baguette: Oh God, are you a commoner? Your white t-shirt and shoddy jeans don’t bode well‒
White: I’m… White… the Ultimate Average Bread.
White: That’s what I… officially go by.
Baguette: Holy fucking shit, you are absolutely a commoner. Your officially recognized talent is… “Average Bread”? I did not know there were breads out there that stooped that low‒
Wheat: I’m sorry, sir, but you’re being a bit too critical‒
Baguette: Me? Being too critical? I’m sorry, but that’s my whole shtick. I criticize, I explore the facets of taste, and I find the error in everything. Never have I met someone who is the most tasteless bread to have ever existed!
White: J-j-just because I’m a-average…?
Baguette: Why, of course! You are recognized as being so tasteless, that you are impeccably… “average.” You might as well be called worthless, if you have no interest in taste‒
Wheat: Sorry, sir, but you should leave us alone. You’re judging my friend here solely off of their talent‒
Baguette: And? I just explained to you that‒
Wheat: Yeah, and we get it: you’re a dick. Now go bother someone else.
Baguette: My… my word, I…
White: Baguette turns away with a wave of his thin arms, and he storms off, heading down the hall and into a large room. The room’s details are hard to discern when they’re so far away…
Wheat: White, are you alright? He didn’t hurt you, right?
White: I-I’m fine.
White: I’m not fine. Though his words aren’t something I’ve never heard before, they definitely… stick onto me like needles.
White: Wheat wraps an arm around me.
Wheat: Don’t worry. Breads like him can only hurt others with words. He’s harmless otherwise.
White: Is that so…?
Wheat: Yeah! All you have to do is ignore idiots like him!
White: …Y-yeah. I… guess so.
White: Wheat removes their arm from me as they take hold of my hand.
Wheat: C’mon! Let’s explore more‒
White: Hold on.
Wheat: What?
White: You said that you went to Hope’s Breadcademy, right?
Wheat: Yeah.
White: Then I should’ve seen you there.
White: I went there too, after all. I should’ve brought this up sooner…
Wheat: You went there too?
White: Yeah. Why else would I have a talent then?
Wheat: Ah, I guess that makes sense.
White: Wheat rubs the back of their head as they chuckle.
Wheat: Well, we could’ve just gotten different classes…
White: Maybe, but then we would’ve seen each other in the halls.
Wheat: Maybe we just don’t remember seeing each other!
White: Really? I feel like I would’ve definitely remembered seeing you there…
???: Stop right there!
White: A voice cuts through our conversation, followed by the *SLAM!* of a door and rushing footsteps stomping toward me.
White: Whooooa!
White: I fall to the ground, face squished against the rough, brown floor. My body is turned around and, before I could see who brought me down, a flashlight flickers on and my eyes are scorched with bright, hot light. I could hardly make out who had me pinned to the ground, but they had a feminine form and definitely some muscles. She was wearing… some night guard uniform? It was hard to read what was on the badge on her hat, but I could make out an “S.”
S: Are you my kidnapper? Speak up, criminal!
Wheat: Hey, hey, hey! Stop hurting them!
S: Are you their partner? I’ll have you know I can easily take the both of you down‒
???: Hey, what’s going on here?
White: The flashlight draws away from my face, and I can more easily make out the features of her chubby face and blue jacket. Wheat was trying to push her off of me, but S didn’t budge at all. What I could do was read the name on their badge fully. It read: “Soda.”
Soda: Wait, Sourdough? You’re here?
White: My eyes are drawn to who’s behind me, a tall masculine figure built similarly to Soda. He had a black hat on that had the word “SECURITY” stitched into it. Their whole uniform was black, even his denim jeans.
Sourdough: You can get off my friend now.
White: The individual supposedly named Sourdough crosses his arms. Wheat, as requested, backs off from Soda. Soda stands up, rubbing her temples to rid her bewildered expression away. Afterward, she leans down and helps me to my feet. Her grip is hard as stone.
Soda: Okay, I think I… made a little mistake.
Sourdough: You did, dork.
Wheat: Who are you two? Wh-why did you‒
Soda: I’m Soda, the Ultimate Security Guard! I go by she/they, so I don’t mind if I’m referred to by either. Oh, and uh… I’m sorry for tackling your friend here. I’m a little on-edge, haha…
White: She scratches her cheek gently.
Sourdough: And I’m Sourdough. I’m Soda’s friend and the Ultimate Bouncer… as in I stand guard for parties, look at guest lists… and… yeah. Pretty self-explanatory stuff. I go by he/they.
White: His gaze scares me. His eyebrows are half-closed, as if their eyes are judging me.
White: Still, Wheat and I introduced ourselves back to the two.
Sourdough: Now that we’ve got our introductions out of the way, let’s go.
Soda: Yeah, let’s!
White: Soda jumped up in the air a little as she followed Sourdough. Their shoulders bounce off of each other as they depart. Soda looks back at us briefly.
Soda: Oh, and I’m sorry about earlier! Really sorry! Hope we can get to know each other better once we figure out what’s going on!
Wheat: Of course!
White: And with that, the two left.
Wheat: Wow, what an interesting bunch.
White: Yeah…
Wheat: Think we should check the classrooms for others?
White: There were four doors already open, likely from me, Baguette, Sourdough, and Wheat. One of the doors was slammed shut by Soda, so the other one that’s still closed must be where the last bread here is. I approach one of the closed doors and open it…
White: Inside was… something that neither of us expected to see.
White: It was the most… bread on a… bread I have ever seen. He was practically a giant, wearing a white tank top and black sweatpants. He could probably lift up a school bus like it was a children’s toy. He could barely fit in the desk he was sleeping in. A pool of drool has formed on the surface of the desk. I couldn’t even approach him. His aura just… froze me in place, as if someone stuck me in a freezer.
Wheat: Hey! Hello? Are you okay in there?
White: H-Hey! Wait, don’t wake him up!
Wheat: Why not?
White: That dude is giant‒
White: Too late. The huge bread man was getting out of his seat, snorting. He wipes off his line of drool with his wrist before jumping.
???: Huh? Where the hell am I?
White: The man then casually lifts up a desk and peeks under it.
???: I didn’t think I could dream again! It’s been so long since I’ve had a dream!
Wheat: Um… sir?
White: Don’t bring his attention over to us‒
White: Aaaand he was already twisting his head around to face us. He smiles widely.
Grain: Why hello there! I’m Grain, the Ultimate Bodybuilder! Are you two part of my dream, or are you real? I’ve never had a dream this vivid before…
White: Wheat laughs.
Wheat: You’re not dreaming, Grain! Get ahold of yourself, silly!
White: Grain blinks in confusion, tapping his chin.
Grain: I’m not…? Does that mean I was…?
Wheat: We were all kidnapped and brought here. None of us are sure why.
Grain: I was kidnapped?
Grain: …You two are friendly, right?
Wheat: Yes, we are.
Grain: Then I’m coming with you!
White: Grain steps over to us, his footsteps quiet and soft, despite his grand magnitude.
Grain: Is the little one scared of me? They’re quaking more now that I’m here.
White: So sorry! You’re just… it’s like… it’s like a colossus is walking up and talking to me as if they’re just like everyone else‒
Wheat: White here is just scared of big guys like you! Probably because there aren’t a ton of giant burly dudes walking around in daily life.
Grain: Aw…
White: Grain cups my cheeks, which makes me shake more. His smile seems to calm my nerves, though.
Grain: I’m sorry if I’m making you scared! I don’t mean any harm.
White: He pats my head.
Grain: If it makes you feel better, I used to look like you before I started training my body! If you work hard enough, you’ll be in environments that are full of guys and girls that look like me!
White: I-I’d rather not…
Grain: Why not?
Wheat: It’d put them out of their comfort zone.
Grain: Oh, I see…
White: Grain stands up tall, his head almost about to touch the ceiling.
Grain: Sorry…
White: I-It’s fine. You seem like a good guy anyway.
White: After we introduced ourselves to him, we began to leave the hallway in an attempt to find new bread to talk to. So far, I’ve seen… five others here? For some reason, I doubt that’s all…
White: I’m starting to get used to being around Grain. If anything, I feel like if we ever do see our kidnapper, I can just hide behind him as he beats the living crap out of whoever they are.
White: We enter that large room that Baguette ran off into earlier, though I don’t see him anywhere.
???: Oh, oh, oh, new bread! New bread!
White: An excited voice breaks my thoughts. Wheat, Grain, and I look over to see a healthy-looking girl with a hole through her stomach, visible only due to her tank top crop top and unzipped red jacket. She was also wearing denim shorts. Standing behind her was another colossus, though not as wide and intimidating as Grain was. She also had a hole through her stomach, though it was only visible through the outline of the white shirt visible between the unzipped part of her black jacket.
Donut: Hey, hey, new bread! I’m Donut, the Ultimate Swim Coach!
Donut: Oh, and over here is‒
Bagel: I can introduce myself, Donut. I am Bagel, the Ultimate Boxing Instructor. It is a pleasure to meet all of you.
Grain: It’s a pleasure to meet all of you too!
Wheat: I’m guessing neither of you know what’s going on either.
Donut: Nope! Not at all!
Bagel: I have a feeling when we find everyone, we will eventually meet who captured us as well.
White: …At this point, I hope we don’t find them. Maybe someone came to save us and is‒
???: Well, I doubt that’s going to happen.
White: Surprised, I look around to see a hermaphrodite, who was both muscular and slim. They wielded a thin blade and wore bulky armor as if they were a knight.
Banana: It’s Banana, the Ultimate Fencer. I go by any pronoun you can think of. I’m sure a few of you know me as a hero, but I have a feeling that whoever kidnapped us… is stronger than me. Otherwise, none of us would be in this… sticky situation.
Banana: I’m truly sorry‒
Wheat: Don’t worry! I’m sure you were unfairly beaten by cheap tactics or something! It’s not your fault.
Banana: Well, then I should've been stronger‒
Bagel: There is no need to dwell on the hypotheticals. Chances are, you were kidnapped just like the rest of us. There is no need to create guilt for yourself.
Banana: Y-you’re right. Thank you for the wise words.
Bagel: There is no need to thank me.
Grain: You really like saying “there is no need.”
Wheat: Well, it sounds pretty cool.
Donut: Bagel’s a really cool gal! We woke up in the same room, and she told me that‒
Bagel: There is no need to mention that‒
Wheat: “There is no need” ‒ haha!
Bagel: …
White: I listen to them talk amongst each other. I felt pretty out of place, considering I’m the only normal bread here. They already mesh so well together. Meanwhile, I stand here and stay quiet as they talk, breathe, and radiate Ultimate energy‒
Wheat: White? You good?
Grain: You look a little dreary.
White: Huh? Oh, I’m fine. Just…
White: Lie.
White: …thinking of the situation we’re in. It’s… starting to get to me the more and more we’re‒
Wheat: Well, let’s get your mind off of it then!
Bagel: There are others that have passed through here. Perhaps talking to them could rid your mind of its fear.
Donut: Yeah! To be honest, I haven’t really felt any genuine fear since I’ve woken up! It’s like, weirdly chill here, you know?
Banana: I assumed there’d be a lot more threats to encounter here. The only individual I saw that was particularly suspicious was that crazy guy…
Wheat: Do you know where he went?
Banana: Down the hall I just came from‒
Wheat: Then let’s not go there. Let’s go somewhere less stressful for White!
White: Wheat grabs a hold of my hand with both hands, smiling at me with sparkling eyes.
Wheat: C’mon!
White: Wheat pulls me through a set of double doors. I glance behind myself to notice that Grain didn’t follow. I… don’t know why he didn’t follow, but maybe he’s just a little slow.
White: Now, I’m in a cafeteria, a large, brown round table in the center of the expansive room. There’s a cramped-looking room in the back with a space in the wall open, revealing a small kitchen inside. It could likely be accessed through the door next to the rectangular hole in the wall. In the kitchen, there appear to be a few bread roaming around and checking out the place.
?: Wow, there’s alcohol here.
??: In a school?
???: Wait, do you like alcohol too?
?: Well, it’s a part of my job‒
???: Hey! I make alcohol!
?: St-stop, please…
??: You should probably listen to them.
???: But all I said was that I make alcohol‒
Wheat: Hey everyone!
White: The three looked at us through the hole and blinked at each of us wildly.
???: Wait, there is more bread here?!
White: The girl then casually crawled through the hole.
?: Y-you don’t have to cr-crawl over the bar!
???: It’s faster!
White: She jumped up to her feet once she collapsed onto the ground. She dusted off her pretty maroon suit and shook out her legs, getting all the ground’s gunk off of her prim clothes. Then, she scrambled over to us, while the others entered the cafeteria through the door.
Brioche: I’m Brioche, the Ultimate Brewer! It’s nice to meet you two!
White: Brewer…?
Brioche: I brew alcohol! Oh, I brew other things too, but I’m maaaainly known for my alcohol. Can you two drink? I can make something real mean for y’all!
White: …Am I old enough to drink?
Wheat: You don’t know…? I can.
White: Really?
Wheat: I’m twenty-two. Are you‒
White: Twenty-one.
Brioche: Oh, then both of you can! That’s wonderful!
?: I don’t think it’s something to necessarily encourage…
Brioche: Oh, Challah, you’re a bartender! You should love it when other bread drink!
White: Brioche gestured to the decently strong-looking individual to Brioche’s left. They were wearing a unisex bartender’s uniform.
Challah: Just because I’m the Ultimate Bartender doesn’t mean I want to encourage drinking. It just means that I serve drinks… and mix them.
Wheat: So do you not like your job?
Challah: I’m supposed to…?
Brioche: How can you not like your job?! It’s super fun to bartend!
Challah: …Just because I’m talented at something doesn’t mean I enjoy doing it. …It’s just… the only thing I’m good at doing.
Brioche: But‒
??: I don’t think you should keep bugging Challah about it. It is rather rude‒
Brioche: Well, I’m just curious‒
??: And your curiosity is bugging them. Stop already.
White: Brioche pouts before storming off, heading back into the kitchen.
Challah: Thank you, Pita.
Wheat: Pita? Is that your name?
White: I look at the man standing beside Challah, his hands clasped together. He is wearing an entirely knitted and sewn outfit, a beanie and a sweater with detailed designs on each. Long rags made out of wool and yarn are draped on his shoulders like towels.
Pita: Yes, I am Pita. I am the Ultimate Sewer, as in I sew many intricate and beautiful tapestries. My works transcend the mortal plane and tap into the spiritual. If you would like me to try and contact a deceased loved one, let me know and I may assist you.
White: Wait, you can do what…?
Pita: What? You didn’t know?
White: He seemed shocked, for some reason.
Pita: Don’t tell me you don’t think spirits… are fake?
White: Well, they haven’t been proven to exist‒
Pita: But they haven’t been proven to not exist either.
White: I’m pretty sure they don’t exist though‒
Pita: Shut the fuck up for one second and listen.
White: His sudden aggression surprised me, despite his tone always remaining airy and calm.
Pita: Ghosts are real. They contact me through my work. Ghosts cannot be seen on the mortal plane, for we are not spirits, but they can speak through it. Ever wondered why your lights flicker for a split second while you are taking a shower?
White: The lightbulb needs to be replaced…?
Wheat: Oh, oh, oh, it’s the ghost of someone who died in the house before!
Pita: See? No other explanation.
White: For a second, I thought this guy was more reasonable and smart than this. I guess he’s one of those ghost fanatics that act like their toaster going off a second too early is an “evil spirit wanting to ruin their tan.”
Pita: My work is often used by ghosts. They wear them, and my clothes will float in the air~
Wheat: Ghosts wear your clothes?! That’s so cool!
Pita: It is… less of how cool it is and more of… how important it is.
White: How is any of this important?
Pita: …Can you take this bread away if they’re not going to act like this?
Wheat: Actually, I think both of us are going to go. We’re trying to meet everyone!
White: Um‒
Wheat: Well, I want to, but we’re trying to meet people to calm down White’s nerves!
Pita: Is my spirit talk truly that scary?
White: …I feel like I’m forced to lie to get out of this conversation.
White: Yes, they are. I would like to… go somewhere else.
Pita: Then go. If you refuse to comprehend the spiritual, then I do not want to speak to you.
White: I’m sorry‒
Pita: Don’t apologize. Go.
White: Did I offend him that badly?
White: I look toward Challah, who was silently listening to the conversation. I doubt they believe all of this too, right?
White: Wheat waves to both of them and leads me out of the cafeteria, where we see something unexpected. A chubby, tall man is talking down to Grain, Banana, Donut, and Bagel with a moderately tall and muscular man standing tall by the entrance to the hallway with the six classrooms. The taller man is wearing a doctor’s uniform with small surgical tools in his shirt’s pockets alongside a pair of slightly cracked glasses. The other, slightly shorter man is wearing a butler outfit (sporting a pair of gloves) with a long black tie and a lot of buttons down the sides.
Grain: Well, I don’t want the others to be scared‒
Doctor: Scared? Why? Because I’m honest? You all are mindlessly walking around without ever thinking “Oh, anyone here can be who brought us here?” You all are fools.
Grain: But I trust these breads! They don’t seem like bad folk‒
Wheat: Hey! What’s going on here?
White: The doctor turns around to stare at us. He blinked rapidly.
Cornbread: Well, if I’m apparently crazy and going to freak you all out, I may as well introduce myself to… rid that fear. My name is Cornbread. I’m the Ultimate Doctor. Pleased to meet you.
Wheat: Wait, this guy is who you said not to go to?
Donut: Yeah, the crazy guy!
Bagel: He came back down from the hall to converse with us.
Wheat: He doesn’t look crazy.
White: He looks… really nice, actually. He could help us when we get hurt, since he’s a doctor.
Cornbread: Precisely. There is no need to fear me. Due to my talent, I am known to quote-unquote “revive” my fellow bread-kind from near-death experiences.
Wheat: Wow, really?
White: …I like doctors and all, but that seems more like a superpower than anything.
Cornbread: It’s an exaggeration. I simply have medical equipment on me when I go from place to place. If someone is injured or requires medical attention, I help them on the spot after calling for help. I tend to “revive” them before the hospital staff even arrive.
White: Oh. That’s… actually really sweet.
Donut: Oh wow, oh wow! I thought you were a bad guy.
Cornbread: Don’t act all innocent. You were all the ones who freaked out over me thinking you were all evil. I thought that was a reasonable reaction, since I am the Ultimate Doctor. People have a reason to kidnap me‒
Bagel: Just because you have a talent that holds such strength does not mean that you would be the only victim here. We all have talents, with abilities that we do not brag about.
Cornbread: Well, i-it could’ve been important to know. That’s why I… bragged. I apologize if it came out that way.
Bagel: It is fine.
Grain: So… we’re all good now?
Cornbread: Well, why don’t you finally tell me your name, butler?
White: We all turn toward the man in the butler uniform. He has his arms crossed, but a slight smile as well.
Flatbread: If that is what you request. My name is Flatbread.
Cornbread: And what is your Ultimate talent?
Flatbread: The Ultimate Butler.
Cornbread: This fine man helped me… calm down from my initial… shock. He’s not very talkative, though.
Flatbread: I only speak when either demanded or requested to. I may speak if I feel it is necessary, such as in this case.
Donut: Wow, he’s like a robot.
Wheat: Yeah, he’s a little weird.
Flatbread: Please do not treat me like a robot. I do have feelings too.
Grain: Then, uh… we all request that you talk when you don’t need to!
Flatbread: …What is the use of that request?
Grain: So you talk more!
Flatbread: I don’t understand‒
Grain: Well, if you only talk when you need to, then you won’t ever express how you’re feeling. There are lots of examples, like when you meet a guy you really like! Or maybe there’s a mean teacher, and you have to speak out! You won’t speak up for yourself if you’re, you know… only talking when you have to.
Cornbread: …Huh.
Donut: All of the things he just said were super true, you know?! Listen to him!
White: It takes a few moments of silence for Flatbread to speak again.
Flatbread: …Then I will speak when I feel the desire to, just like any one of you.
Grain: Good!
White: Grain laughs uproariously, though Flatbread merely makes a small smile.
Wheat: So sweet…
White: Uh, yeah. That is sweet.
White: Wheat glances toward me with a slight smile.
Wheat: So… let’s check out more of the place! In case we missed someone!
White: So you’re really just leading me around the place to see everyone?
Wheat: …Is that bad?
White: No.
Wheat: …Are you feeling better than you did before? I mean, there’s no “crazy guy” anymore.
White: I guess I am.
Wheat: Then let’s go!
White: Wheat pulls me into the hallway we were previously instructed to not go to before, one that is decorated with trophies in glass cages on wooden stands and windows that reveal a giant gym on the other side of them. There was also a set of three doors that led to three different bathrooms: one for females, one for males, and one for all genders. What scared me the most about the doors was the machine gun attached to the ceiling, pointing down at the doors. Makes me scared to even go in them…
White: The hell…?
Wheat: Okay, yeah, that freaks me out too.
White: Even though you believe in ghosts?
Wheat: This is not the same thing, White.
White: They are right about that.
???: What an odd place…
White: A pretty, yet proper bread casually strolls out of the all-gender door, adjusting their top hat and overly decorated school uniform. They had a bunch of pins all over their jacket, the light from the ceiling making them all sparkle and glitter in the light.
Wheat: Whoa, who are you?
Focaccia: Why I am Focaccia, the Ultimate Performer. Are you two here to bring me somewhere?
Wheat: Um… no. Why?
Focaccia: I haven’t met anyone yet, but from the commotion, I thought someone was going to come and do what they wanted with me. I’d rather go out seeing my captors before they, well, you know.
White: We’ve also been captured too. …Wait, you were just going to get out of hiding and just… see them before they try and hurt you?
Focaccia: How is that odd?
White: Well, what if they weren’t going to find you and you‒
Focaccia: Hej, I just wanted to see who would capture me, that is all. Do not question me any further on this.
White: Weird…
Wheat: So you’re the Ultimate Performer?
Focaccia: Why yes. It’s a more… gender-neutral term for actor or actress. In reality, I am a stage performer that acts. That… is what I do.
White: Do you do theatre?
Focaccia: Why yes I do.
White: So are you a theatre kid?
Focaccia: I thought that was obvious.
Wheat: That’s cool! Is that where you got your talent from?
Focaccia: From theatre? Partially, chleb. I feel as though my whole life I‒
White: We’re interrupted by the creaking of the double gym doors. We all turn to look at them, and we see a short girl walk through. She’s wearing a long dress that seemed to be ancient.
???: U-um… h-h-hi…
Focaccia: And who might you be?
Rye: O-oh! My name’s Rye, and I’m the Ultimate Medievalist! I study medieval history, culture, clothing, and… well, everything from the middle ages!
White: …That’s all you do?
Rye: Yep! My life wouldn’t be the same without the middle ages!
White: …Okay then. I’ll… not question you further.
Baguette: What shoddy toilets…
White: Baguette’s voice makes me jump, same with the sound of him slamming the male bathroom door shut.
Wheat: Oh great, you.
Baguette: What about me, hm? Does my presence make you quake in fear~?
Wheat: No. You’re just obnoxious.
White: Wheat wraps an arm around me protectively.
Wheat: And you hurt my friend too!
Baguette: So? It’s not my fault they’re the definition of bland.
White: His words that cut deep into me without mercy.
White: Does he think I deserve these words…? Why…?
Focaccia: Jezus…
Wheat: Wh-what? You’re just being mean to them‒
Baguette: There is a difference between “being mean” and judging. “Being mean” is saying “I hate you” and never elaborating. What I do is find evidence that you’re tasteless, expound on it, and expose how worthless you are. I judge your level of taste. I do not need to do much research on their level of taste if their title has “average” in the name.
Wheat: If being a dick is so important to your connoisseur shtick or whatever, then keep it to yourself, prick!
Baguette: What-the-fuck-ever, you annoying little scoundrel. I doubt you have much taste either, if you’re defending this rat so much‒
Grain: Something going on here?
White: Wheat and I jump at Grain’s voice, looking over to him, and then back to Baguette. He jumps at Grain, his eyes widening. His eyes slowly meet Grain’s.
Baguette: Oh! Wh-why, h-hello, sir! How are‒
Grain: Who is that?
White: Grain points at Baguette, looking at him blankly.
Wheat: Oh, that’s Baguette. I don’t think we mentioned him to you, but he’s‒
Grain: Hi there!
White: Grain began waving at Baguette, smiling sweetly.
White: Baguette is beginning to shake and rattle like a building about to crash down.
Baguette: Uh, I, ah… well, I…
Grain: Hello?
Baguette: Hi! Ah, no, greetings! Salutations! Pleasure to meet you! I… bye!
White: Baguette runs past Grain, who watches him leave before turning to look at us.
Grain: Huh.
Rye: What a scary guy…
White: Rye shivers.
Focaccia: Men like that are absolutely abysmal to deal with. I’m sorry for you, White.
White: …Don’t be. I’m just… letting his words get to me.
White: But I am average. I am bland. I don’t get why they have to feel bad for me being called bland and average when that’s just what I am.
Wheat: White, you’re zoning out again.
White: Wheat pats my back gently.
White: Oh, my bad. I just…
White: I rub my temples.
White: I was just thinking…
Wheat: Thinking what?
White: Uh… why is Grain here? What d-do you want, buddy?
White: Wheat shoots a piercing glare at me before looking over at Grain.
Wheat: Yeah! Why are you here?
Grain: Oh! I came to collect everyone here for a little meeting Sourdough wanted. Everyone else is already there, so all we need are you four! …And that Baguette guy…
Wheat: Oh, of course! Let’s go, everyone!
White: Focaccia and Rye nod as they follow Wheat, Grain, and me back to the open space in the hallway. Everyone I saw before is all standing in a circle, leaving space for Focaccia, Rye, Wheat, and me. Bagel is holding Baguette by his arm, his flustered face staring up at her.
Baguette: I don’t want to be here, you big lug!
Grain: Well, it’s important we are all here‒
Baguette: Sh-shush, you! I’m talking to‒
Bagel: You have to be here, as we all do. It is merely what we must do.
Baguette: At least you speak as if you have taste.
Bagel: …I have no idea what that means.
Sourdough: Everyone, now is not the time for this.
Soda: Yeah! Let’s all take a deep breath and focus. Steady heartbeats mean we are all calm and can think properly.
Cornbread: Well, I am already calm. So, I’ll start off our little group meeting with this: has anyone found out who kidnapped us yet?
White: Silence drowns the room.
Baguette: …The kidnapper probably is watching us on all the little cameras they have set up around here.
Bagel: How perceptive. I’ve noticed them as well.
Focaccia: Oh, really? We’re being watched?
Flatbread: It appears that way.
Rye: Wait, what if we’re on TV and this is a reality TV show!
Brioche: Yeah! Maybe it’s a dating show, and we're all going to go on school-themed dates!
Challah: Don’t look at me when you say that‒
Banana: I doubt that. The producers would be in tons of legal trouble for discreetly kidnapping all of us.
Wheat: Yeah. I don’t know why a dating show would kidnap and wipe everyone’s memories.
Donut: Say what?
White: Wipe our memories. Well, not all of them. But… it seems that we could’ve lost our memories when we got here.
Pita: Why is that, fool?
White: Fool? What was… whatever.
White: Well, we all have talents, right? That means we all went to the Breadcademy, at some point. But I would know if I went to the same school as Wheat. We’re friends. There’s no way I’d just forget someone like them!
Wheat: Thank you for the kind words, White.
White: Any time.
Bagel: Alternatively, we could’ve all went to the Breadcademy, and then were kidnapped while going there.
White: Huh… I guess that’s also a possibility‒
Rye: If that’s the case, then where are we?
Sourdough: A school, obviously.
Rye: But it’s like, n-not a normal school! …Where are all of the lockers, o-or the teachers!
Focaccia: Perhaps it was made to look like a school, and we’re being watched by the world on some odd TV set.
Soda: I’d expect different-looking cameras, if we were on a set for a show. They look more like security cameras.
Sourdough: Soda’s right. If anything, that must be our kidnapper.
Grain: …Hold on, so our captor is just… watching us…?
Brioche: So scary! I wonder what they’re thinking…
Wheat: Let’s not worry about that, for now! If they wanted to do something to us, then they would have by now!
Challah: Then what do they want with us‒
*CRACK!*
*Sizzle…*
*POP!*
Rye: Eep!
Baguette: Holy shit, what an awful damn sound…
White: I cover my ears as more and more breads begin to talk in panic, but a single voice booms through the air, ignoring the hands I had placed over my ears.
???: Ahem, ahem… testing, testing! 1, 2, 3! Can anyone heeeear me? If you can, come to the… actually, wait, no. Why do that when everyone’s already in one convenient place?
Monokuma: Why, hello there! I’m Monokuma! …Wait, what’s up with the watermark? Is the budget seriously that low now? Jeez, can anyone make a killing game nowadays?
Baguette: What the fuck is that thing?!
Rye: A bear?
Grain: If it tries to eat us, I-I’m gonna fight it!
Sourdough: Looks more like a teddy bear.
Brioche: Yeah, is that thing meant to be threatening?
Monokuma: Hey, hey, hey! Shuddap already! I’m no teddy bear , and I’m very threatening!
Bagel: Are you who kidnapped us?
Challah: If that bear thing kidnapped us, then how? …I don’t think a guy that puny could‒
Cornbread: …Huh. I was overly afraid that our kidnapper would actually be a threat. It’s just a bear.
Monokuma: Can you stop picking on me? I’m just a wittle defenseless bear…
Donut: It’s sad now?
Banana: I guess we can just bully the thing until it lets us out‒
Monokuma: Hey! I’m not that easy to manipulate!
Flatbread: May someone request that I punt it? Maybe then the exit will unlock.
Brioche: Ooooo, punt it, punt it! I want to see if it splatters!
Pita: I think we should give it the chance to talk.
Soda: What’s it gonna say anyway? Ooooo, I’m a scary little guy! I’m gonna kill all of you‒
Monokuma: I’m going to kill all of you?
Focaccia: I think you’re all being a little too accepting of this thing. It’s likely that this is some facade for our real captor‒
Wheat: Flatbread, can you punt this thing already? I want all of us out of here safely.
White: Where did that attitude come from?
Flatbread: Certainly‒
Monokuma: Nuh-uh-uh! I wouldn’t recommend that! It’d be bad for your health!
White: Despite what Monokuma had said, Flatbread stepped up to Monokuma, his right leg kicking back to launch the miniature bear into the wall. But just before he was about to strike…
Monokuma: Well, now you’ve got me angry! I call to thee, mighty spear Gungnir!
White: Before any of us could react, a long metallic spear launched down from the ceiling, piercing through Flatbread’s foot.
White: None of us reacted, at first. Just shocked silence.
White: We kept staring… and staring. Pink jam is beginning to seep out of Flatbread’s foot, drooling onto the ground.
White: Baguette is the first to make a sound.
White: Heavy breathing.
White: And soon, we are all breathing heavily, walking into the walls behind us‒ wait, walls?
White: I turn around, and all of the exits to the other halls and doors have been blocked by cell gates. We are trapped in here with that bear… that bizarre bear… that bear that had…
White: Made Flatbread bleed.
Baguette: Ah… ah… AHHHHHHH!
White: Baguette began trembling.
Baguette: What the hell do you want from us? I swear, I’ll give you anything if you don’t hurt me! Please, please spare‒
Monokuma: Oh, shut up, you skinny little freak! I’m not gonna kill him.
White: The spear retracted from Flatbread’s foot, and Cornbread rushed over to him to bandage his wound with his sleeve, tearing it off to do so.
Monokuma: That’s what’s going to happen to any of you who try to hurt me, and the punishment is going to get more and more lethal the more you lot try!
Rye: L…lethal?
Monokuma: What? Like I said, I’m just a poor wittle bear! Hurting me is a crime punishable by death! A massively painful and torturous death!
Baguette: So… you’re going to kill us… if we hurt you? S-s-so all we have to do is not hurt you?
Monokuma: Didn’t I tell you to shut up?
Bagel: He does have a point. There’s no reason to bring us here if all you want us to do is not hurt you, right?
Grain: Waaah…
White: I look over at Grain, who is trembling, maybe even more than Baguette.
White: I don’t even have the strength to speak, or act. These Ultimates are… so much stronger than me…
Grain: Puh-please tell us… what you want us to do. I-I don’t want you to kill my friends…
Monokuma: Friends? You just met all of these bread freaks and you’re already calling them your friends?
Grain: B-b-but they’re all so nice…
Monokuma: Nice? As if! Being nice means nothing when you’re in a killing game!
Rye: A-a what?
Grain: Killing…?
Baguette: So you are going to kill us!
Banana: As if! Nobody will die while I’m here!
Focaccia: This better be some stupid prank‒
Monokuma: Oh my god, can all of you shut up! Yes, this is a killing game! But I’m not gonna kill any of you…
Monokuma: You’re all going to kill each other! It doesn’t matter how either! Feel like stabbing? Go ahead! Wanna drown someone and make them too soggy to live? Try that! Wanna cave their head in? Maybe after an outburst of uncontrollable anger! Could you toast them so hard, they get all scorched and hot? That’s new, but I’m not stopping you. There’s so much you have to do, but all you gotta remember is to get away with it. If you do, I’ll let you outta here scot-free!
White: The bear’s speech and glistening red eye sickens me to my core. Killing game? We have to kill each other and get away with it to get out?
Grain: But there’s no way anyone here would kill anyone!
Cornbread: I won’t allow any murders.
White: Cornbread rises above Flatbread, whose wound had been bandaged up.
Cornbread: There’s no way I’d let any of them die‒
Monokuma: Okay, doctor. Aren’t there like, billions of Ultimate Doctors? It’s such an overused talent‒
Cornbread: Well, there’s a reason that I’m a doctor! All of your lives are precious to me‒
Monokuma: Yeah, whatever. It’s not like you can save anybody if they die instantly‒
Donut: Wait!
Monokuma: Wuzzup?
Donut: So, if anybody kills anyone, they just… leave if the murder isn’t seen‒
Monokuma: Oh, be patient, missy! I’m going to get into the rules now!
White: With a clap of his round paws, a stone tablet falls from the ceiling and collapses in the corner of the room.
Banana: Eek!
Focaccia: Jezus, you could’ve warned us!
Pita: I don’t want my clothes ruined by some giant rock‒
Monokuma: Well, it’s not just any rock. It’s the rules!
White: …The r-r-rules?
White: My voice is trembling, but at least I gathered the courage to speak.
Monokuma: Yes, the rules, oh so average bread! I can’t have you all just go off killing each other, you know? Now read up!
White: My eyes are drawn to the rock tablet, where all of the “rules” are laid out in front of us all.
White: Blackened…? Spotless…? What is all of this…?
Baguette: Your seventh rule is unfinished.
Monokuma: Didn’t I‒
Baguette: Shut up for a second, you dumb bear. You didn’t finish your rules.
Monokuma: Oh yeah, I forgot. Morning time starts at around… 7 in the morning! Sorry‒
Baguette: Well, if you say so, then I’m going to be going to bed.
Monokuma: Huh?
Baguette: Like, you’re done here, right? I want to go to bed now.
Monokuma: You aren’t scared anymore, little bitch boy?
Baguette: No. I’ve just realized that this isn’t real. It’s just a dream…
Grain: Yeah! This is just a dream, right? We’re all going to wake up…
Flatbread: If it were a dream, then I should be awake right now…
Banana: If anything, this is a nightmare.
Challah: I-I want to go home…
Rye: Y-yeah… I want to… see my mommy…
Bagel: There is no need to worry. Cornbread, Donut, and I will not allow any murders.
Donut: Yeah! There’s no way I’m going to let any murders happen!
Brioche: We’re not going to play your game, you monster!
Monokuma: You aren’t?
Monokuma: Puhuhu… puhuhu…
Monokuma: AH-HAHAHAHAAAAA ! You think that now, but you aren’t thinking with your brains, if you even have any! None of you really know each other, except for a select few of you. There’s no way that a single one of you won’t try and escape!
Donut: You’re lying! Nobody’s going to kill… nobody will!
Challah: B-b-but… the bear is right. We don’t know each other…
Soda: ‘Cept for Sourdough and me.
Wheat: …a-and White and me…
Monokuma: That’s right! None of you really know each other. None of you are really friends. Eventually, one of you will give in to the suspense and kill one of the other precious participants!
White: And he’s right. None of us know each other except for Sourdough and Soda, then Wheat and me. Everyone but my friend is capable of murdering me… and my friend… and… a-and anyone else here…
White: And this feeling of despair…
White: It’s overwhelming.
White: It clouds my vision…
White: …and leaves me in a ditch on the side of the road.
White: …I-I’m going to die here… aren’t I?
White: That’s the thought that ran across everyone’s minds here just now. “I’m going to die here.” Hell, we’re all going to die here.
White: Wheat clings onto me, whining.
Wheat: White… I… I want to go home…
White: I… I do too…
White: That… was no lie.
White: I… we’re all…
White: …we’re all going to die here…
White: Those are the words that just wouldn’t come out.
White: They were words that became caged in our brains.
White: They wouldn’t escape, since we’re all too afraid to say the truth…
White: The truth of this horrific situation.
White: A despairing truth.
Monokuma: Well, if you’re all going to stand there and stare at me, I’m going to lift up all these gates! Make sure to check out the dorms! That’s where all of you can get some beauty sleep. Make sure to lock your doors! Who knows who might try to kill, puhuhu…
Cornbread: Nobody… will… nobody… will…
Bagel: Breathe, Cornbread. Breathe…
Brioche: H-hey… we all need to calm down. W-we don't have to kill, you know? Let’s just… all go to bed! Just like the bear said!
Sourdough: …Yes. Let’s… rest… please.
Wheat: …Y-yeah…
White: The prison cages blocking the doors and halls lift up into the ceiling, and Monokuma begins to waddle away.
Monokuma: Good luck, all my lovely participants! I hope you have a wonderful night!
*Ding dong bing bong…*
White: As he vanishes from our vision, his voice suddenly blares through the halls…
Monokuma: Ahem! It is now officially 10 PM. Please, hurry to your dorm rooms! You don’t want a so-called friend stabbing you in the back!
Baguette: This is just a dream… a horrible nightmare…
Grain: Y-yeah…
Brioche: And… we’re gonna wake up from it… right?
Banana: …I hope it’s right.
Flatbread: I sincerely hope so too.
Wheat: Hey, White?
White: Yeah?
Wheat: No matter what, I will not die.
White: What?
Wheat: I will not die. For you, and for everyone else.
Wheat: This killing game will have no murders as long as we’re together!
Cornbread: Quiet with the dramatics already.
Wheat: Huh?
Cornbread: Nobody is going to die. If we’re going to live here forever, then we will.
Cornbread: There’s no logical reason to cause a whole ruckus about this game, so we won’t play it. Eventually, the bear will get bored, right?
Cornbread: So don’t play the game. It’s the most reasonable thing to do. If I find anyone hurt, I will save them.
Cornbread: It’s just that‒
Banana: I have the same conviction as our doctor. I will not let any of you die.
Banana: If there is a murderer, I will disable them to the best of my ability. If I must, then I will die in place of a victim!
Sourdough: So will I.
Soda: I will too!
Rye: I… don’t think that’s very smart.
Bagel: If the original victim runs away, they would know who the killer is, meaning the trial would be very easy, wouldn’t it?
Donut: That’s right! So even if someone does give into despair, we can work around it!
Pita: …I have a feeling our wishes will go ungranted then.
Baguette: Y-yeah. If this is real, a-and you have to get away with it, then it would all be secretive, yes? Maybe the killers won’t be stopped if they just… get away with it in the middle of the night, right?
Focaccia: Now you’re just going to give the murderers ideas‒
Baguette: Yeah right! That’s what all of you… murderers are thinking, huh? You fucking dirtbags! I bet you’re all “ooo, this easy prey! All of the bodyguards just outed themselves, so now I know who to avoid!” Well guess fucking what, bitches! I’m not trusting a single one of you whores! I’m… I’m going to bed!
White: Baguette storms off, heading into a hallway I don’t think any of us have explored yet: the dorms hallway.
Grain: I…
Challah: I’m… going to bed too.
Brioche: Yeah! I’m going to go to bed with Challah!
Challah: Don’t go to my room, you… you…
Brioche: Me what? I’m not going into your room, you little scoundrel! That’s dirty‒
Bagel: There is no need to quarrel. Go to bed, all of you.
Flatbread: I will make sure all of you arrive in your proper dorms before I get some rest myself.
Rye: Th-thank you…
White: As we all head into the dorm hallway, a single gate stands in front of a staircase going up. Was that a locked area…? There seems to be a piece of paper taped onto it. …Ignoring it for now, I head to my dorm room, which had a picture of me and a scrap of paper taped below my picture.
White: …There’s a typo on it.
White: I understand the apples part (because they are great), but… bad stuff? How unspecific can you get?
White: Regardless, I open my dorm room.
White: What greets me is an average, typical dorm room with a bed in the center, a nightstand with a lamp on it, and a wardrobe in the corner. It’s basic, plain, and… well, I like it. It reminds me of home.
White: … Will I ever go home again…?
White: …
White: Now is not the time for those thoughts.
White: I shut my door behind myself as I head toward my bed, sitting on the foot of it. I stare at the ceiling as my thoughts drift to our situation.
White: Strangers, all together in a game of killing.
White: All put together to murder each other.
White: And if the killer is caught, they get… punished?
White: No… I shouldn’t think about this…
White: This is too much for me, but at the same time, I have to persist.
White: For Wheat, for me… and for everyone.
Wheat: We can’t give in to despair.
Wheat: We can’t die.
Wheat: Nobody is going to die.
Wheat: There’s no reason to panic.
Wheat: Just breathe…
Wheat: …and breathe out.
White: Breathe…
White: …scream out:
White: We’re all going to die, aren’t we?
*TO BE CONTINUED*