Work Text:
this is the place where i cup your soul, like dew pooling on the surface of a leaf;
only hands are fragile enough for the love of another heart.
At some point in the past few months, Marius had gotten used to waking up with someone next to him in bed. It’s something he’s come to look forward to; that half-awake realisation that Artem was tucked against him, solid and warm and breathing evenly in his sleep, and it never fails to make Marius’ heart jump a little, even so early in the morning.
Today, he wakes up alone, the other half of the bed rumpled and still slightly warm. Marius groans a little, and flips onto his back, rubbing at his eyes. Perhaps Artem had gone to the bathroom — they usually woke up within minutes of each other waking up, so for him to wake up without Artem is a little disconcerting.
Eyes still, closed Marius contemplates on the day’s schedule. He has a class before noon, and then a couple of back-to-back meetings in the evening. Inconveniently, he also has a theoretical-based essay due this evening, of which he has only written half. The day is already shaping up to be a busy one, and he finds himself trying to schedule in some time to spend with Artem.
“Good morning, darling.” Artem’s voice is gentle as it always is in this early morning, and Marius opens his eyes, sits up on the bed as Artem dips down.
“Morning, love. You got up pretty early today.” Marius settles his hands on Artem’s hips as Artem comes to sit on his lap, dropping a sweet kiss on his forehead.
“That’s because you’re tired,” Artem says. “You’ve been really busy these few weeks, it’s no wonder your body is trying to make sure you get more rest. Do you have a lot to do today?” There seems to be something like hope brimming in Artem’s voice, and Marius wishes he could say yes, I have nothing to do today, let’s spend it together.
“I’ll be busy until the evening,” Marius says regretfully, stroking over Artem’s hips with a soft touch. “I have a paper due in the evening, and some meetings around that time.”
“And you have a class at eleven, right?” Artem cups Marius’ face in his palms, smiling a little as he does so. “Work hard, but make sure to take appropriate breaks. I don’t have much to do today, so I’ll drop by your campus so we can have lunch together. How does that sound?”
Sometimes, Marius thinks his love for Artem will one day swell so much his chest will burst, and he will become nothing but atoms made of love for Artem. “That sounds wonderful. I’ll try and finish everything by six, so you can come back home first, yeah?”
Artem keeps that small smile on his face, but it somehow becomes impossibly more tender. “Hmm. Home, you say?”
Marius blunders at his little slip up. “I mean — you have the keys, so you can come back here after work —”
“I was only teasing,” Artem says, laughing a little. Marius pouts; perhaps he has influenced his boyfriend far too much. “But I like it. Home is with you, I think. I’ll make dinner tonight.”
Marius’ heart is going to explode into a million pieces.
It is very unlike himself to lose focus on his work, of all things, but Artem can’t really help himself. Not when he’s worried about his boyfriend, who has steadily been looking more and more tired these past few weeks, working himself into the ground trying to finish his Master’s and also run an entire corporation.
“That’s your ‘I’m worried sick about something’ face,” Celestine observes, having come into Artem’s office with no warning once again. “Did something happen?”
“The witnesses are rescheduling the hours so we have to do the cross-examination another day,” Artem replies, having reverted to work mode at the sight of Celestine. “The evidence won’t be complete until then so the case is on hold temporarily.” Then he takes note of what Celestine had actually asked him.
“I — uh, it’s just a personal matter. Nothing to do with work.”
“Well, that’s out of professional ambit,” Celestine says, nodding and placing a stack of documents on Artem’s neat in-tray. “But perhaps it would do you good to resolve the matter, or try talking about it to someone. Not just for the sake of work, of course, but for yourself.” She leaves then, before Artem can even say anything else, and he sighs a little, going to pick up the file she just left.
Perhaps he should take a leaf out of Celestine’s book, but it’s also something he can hardly solve by just talking to Marius. It’s not as if Marius doesn’t know he’s worried about him, and it’s also not like Marius can just stop all of his work for a while without consequences. There isn’t a fast solution to this — but he could start by bringing food to Marius.
He had spent more time than he thought thinking about Marius — which was, on the whole, nothing unusual, but Artem would never admit that — and noon was arriving quicker than he anticipated. He slips out of the office as quietly as a six foot tall man is able to, and starts his car. If the traffic is good, he’ll make it to Stellis University campus in fifteen minutes; and if not, well, Marius will just have to wait a little.
Predictably, the traffic is bad because it’s the lunchtime rush; also predictably, he gets several messages from Marius that he does not read because he’s five minutes away so Marius can wait. By the time he pulls up, Marius is running towards his car, and when he slides into the passenger seat, he’s already talking away at rapid speeds.
“Love, you didn’t answer my messages! What if I was telling you that class was delayed? You’d have made a trip here for nothing.”
“Then… I would wait for you?” Artem asks, perplexed.
Marius makes an incomprehensible noise, then tugs him over to kiss him. “I love you,” He says, kissing the words onto Artem’s mouth. “I love you so much. I missed you.”
“You saw me this morning,” Artem says, trying his very best not to be affected by just a few kisses. “And also, I’m not letting you distract me. I’ve got food, and you should eat before you have to go to your meetings.”
Marius acquiesces to eating fairly quickly, and Artem feels faintly proud of himself for packing extra food with the way Marius finishes his portion so quickly. Marius barely gets to fill him in about his class and his plans for the rest of the day before its time for Artem to drop him off at Pax Headquarters so he can get back to work on time.
“I’ll see you at home,” Marius promises, leaning over the gears to kiss Artem. “I won’t be too late, I swear. Love you!”
“I love you too. Go — you’re going to be late.”
Even then, Marius waits until he pulls out of the driveway before he disappears into the building, and Artem sighs a little to himself, all fond and full of affection. He really should tell Marius to take it easier, but really, who is he to talk about overworking when Celestine is constantly on his case for staying overtime at work?
The night comes, and Marius comes home late. Artem kisses him, and heats dinner up; it’s the least he can do. More days pass, and eventually they both start calling Marius’ apartment home. Artem finds himself spending more and more time over at Marius’ place that he only really goes back to his own apartment for clothes or books that inevitably end up in a permanent nook somewhere in one of Marius’ rooms.
“Move in with me,” Marius says, a couple of months later when Artem mentions that the lease on his apartment is coming to an end. “It makes more sense if you move in with me, since you’re here all the time anyway.” He’s got a blush high on his cheeks even with this false bravado, and it makes Artem dizzy with love.
So, he moves in. He moves in what little stuff he has left in his old apartment, bids his landlord goodbye, and then realises — oh, this is their home now. It’s been feeling that way for a little while, but there’s something about seeing his things next to Marius’ that makes his heart skip a beat.
It takes a few weeks, but they both laugh at the ridiculous headlines that the press comes up with when they find out that Artem had changed his address. Marius shuts his phone after the fifth gossip article, then pushes him down and kisses him breathless on their couch.
“You’re my dream,” Marius says, in a lilting tone that suggests he must have read it from a poem somewhere in his books.
“I’m what you wake up to everyday,” Artem says. “Isn’t that better than a dream?” Then Marius dips down to kiss him again, and he forgets anything else that he could have said in reply.
The end of a long day has felt immeasurably sweeter ever since they got together. It’s even easier to feel it since they moved in together, each other’s presence a balm to a rough day.
Artem feels this most when the cases at hand during the day have been taxing, or when something has been derailed and much of their progress on a case has been set back. But even on the days where work is better, he still finds that the sweetness eases his fatigue, makes the tension seep out of his shoulders.
It’s been a few months since they had moved in together, but it feels so much shorter than that. Time has passed while they were busy living day by day, and it’s over dinner that Marius tells him he had successfully defended his thesis, and it was signed and ready to be published.
“So I get to graduate on time,” Marius says, laughing a little even though he looks so tired.
Pride, fierce and hot, swells so strongly in Artem’s chest. “Congratulations, darling,” He says, reaching over the table to hold Marius’ hand. “I’m so proud of you, I’m sure you defended it wonderfully.” He squeezes Marius’ hand in lieu of kissing him, and he’s sure that his smile is just as bright as Marius’, a reflection of each other.
“Thank you. I’ll tell you when the graduation date is but — I’m only one more degree away from being a doctor too,” Marius says teasingly, and Artem shakes his head fondly.
“You have all the time in the world to get a doctorate. At least now that you’re complete with your thesis, you’ll have a bit more free time in your schedule. I’ve been worried that you were running yourself into the ground.”
Marius smiles, and they finish dinner like that. It looks to be a quiet, early night, because Marius goes off to shower without delay when Artem insists that he go first. He’s in the middle of washing up the dishes when Marius returns, arms encircling around his waist.
“Go shower, love. I’ll finish this off.” His hair is still wet.
Marius kisses him then, sweet and chaste, and it makes Artem want just a little more. Still, he contents himself with the knowledge that he can kiss Marius again after his shower; it is certainly not because of this that he makes his shower fast, but he supposes he can be a little more open about these feelings now.
By the time he’s done drying his hair and changing into soft sleepwear, Marius has already washed and dried the dishes. All the lights in the apartment have been turned off, except for the warm lamp in the living room, and Marius has also put on some gentle music, playing just above background noise.
“Come here, love.”
Stepping into Marius’ arms always feels a little like coming home. He is, of course, his own person, but he is also someone who loves Marius so much and so very deeply. He doesn’t think it would be out of place to have this touch feel like warmth and comfort.
“I’m here,” Artem says quietly, leaning up slightly to press a kiss to Marius’ mouth. They stay like that for just a while, half washed in light and bathed in soft music. Artem thinks of taking just a step closer, and Marius does it before he can act on it. Perhaps in this moment, when they are so close that the shadows meld them into each other, telepathy exists, formed entirely through love.
They stand like that for a while longer. Then — Marius moves, reaches a hand up to place on the back of his neck, just to feel. It’s comforting.
Marius always touches him so very gently. Artem always thinks of this, but especially now, when they’re both tired and the idea of moving at all is exhausting to Artem, Marius’ hand moves from his neck to his cheek, and cups it tenderly, softly. He feels Marius stroke over the highs of his cheek, and it feels like if he breathes in too deep, he’ll drown in this love.
Marius’ voice breaks through the still of the music. “I want to wake up next to you,” He murmurs, voice low and melting into the night. Where had this come from? “I want to wake up with you tomorrow, and the weekend that will come, and all the days after that. I want to love you in a world like that.”
Artem wants to say something, wants to say yes, you can; yes, you already do, but Marius seems like he still has something to say. He waits, turns his face slightly to kiss the centre of Marius’ palm.
“I think of this world that I want,” Marius continues, tracing a finger across the plush of Artem’s bottom lip, “but still, I don’t want this kind of world if you don’t want it.” His finger stops with his words, presses gently in the centre of Artem’s mouth.
Artem can’t help but smile, nips at Marius’ finger softly with his teeth. “Well, ask me then. You won’t know what I want till you ask.”
“I would be asking for your whole world, Artem,” Marius says, offering his own small smile. It feels affectionate, and the way Marius holds him closer makes it even more so. “I want to share my life with you,” He starts, and then shakes his head a little in laughter. “I should be asking this properly, shouldn’t I?”
“Only if you’re serious about it,” Artem says, and pinches Marius’ cheek lightly. “Are you?”
“I’m always serious about you,” Marius says, pressing a kiss to Artem’s forehead. “But especially about this. I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while now. I know it’s a lot of pressure since I’m heading Pax, and you don’t need to give me an answer now — but this is what I want. It’s you, for me.”
It’s so quiet, even with this music. Artem thinks that maybe their hearts are beating in sync.
“My answer to you now remains the same as the time back when we first got together,” Artem says, places a palm over Marius’ chest, right where his heart is. “Perhaps even more now. I want to ease your nights, just as much you want to wake with me.”
Marius holds him closer, and Artem feels his heart thump just a little faster under his palm.
“Then, would you spend the rest of your life with me? I will do my best to keep you happy, always.” Marius pauses a little, and Artem waits as Marius tries to collect his thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about how to ask you this in the best way, but at the end of the day, it’s you.”
“It’s you for me too,” Artem murmurs, hands sliding to rest on Marius’ shoulders. “It doesn’t matter how you ask me, not to me. I love you.”
"I love you too, interminably. I… I give to everyone else what I’m like in public; to you, I give me, in whole, if you will have me. If you do, then — will you marry me?” Marius sounds nervous now, more than the weeks leading up to his dissertation, and more than any other time Artem has heard him talk in important meetings and negotiations. He wonders if the depth of Marius’ love is as deep as his own.
There will be no reason for him to be nervous; Artem’s answer has remained unchanged. “I will. I will, I will — I want to marry you.” Something entirely too large for words builds up in Artem’s throat, stoppers his voice and makes tears well up in his eyes; he pulls Marius down for a kiss instead, knows that this feeling is love.
“I love you,” Marius says, in between the kisses they have in this quiet, warm night. “I love you, Artem, so much.”
Artem thinks Marius might be crying too. It doesn’t quite matter. Marius kisses him again, and maybe this is the way Marius will kiss him when they get married.
The days move on, unchanging as it always is; but for them, everything shifts.
Marius knows that inevitably, news of their engagement will become apparent to the press, especially with both of them wearing engagement rings. Still, that is something that they will contend with when it happens.
Now, he wants to give Artem everything, and more.
The quiet weekends, and the bookstore dates, and the matching socks with ducks on them. The flowers every Monday, and the vintage bottle of wine, and the late night kisses right before they fall asleep. Artem can have a half of his wardrobe, a room to collect his books and trinkets, and the rest of Marius’ life to fill up with memories.
Marius will ask for just as much, because he’s in love, and he’s a little selfish in this love. For now, he starts with the ring, and the wedding, and waking up next to Artem. He has the rest of forever for everything else. And besides, all of his love is for Artem.