Chapter Text
It was a massacre. A nightmare. The worst moment of the night. Jacob had spilled his bagel bites. There were no survivors. They all fell face first onto the hardwood floor. The same floor that was covered in short, ever-spreading, small black hairs of a black lab named Shadow. Making a strangled sound akin to a furby being choked to death, Jake stomped to the kitchen to get cleaning supplies after updating discord of this travesty that befell him. Upon beginning his return trip, paper towels in hand, the droning sound of a news anchor caught Jacob’s ear. Normally he had learned to tune out the incredibly biased news channel his parents listened to religiously, but the anchor had said something that had snagged his attention. A buzzword, one he knew well.
“Transformers.”
Pausing in his journey to bury his fallen friends, Jacob looked up at the news station and listened in. The news anchor was a popular caster on the station. With his pasty wrinkled skin, and perpetual frown firmly affixed in place, he was the go to guy for any bad news that the station wanted their viewers to hate.
“That’s right, folks. President Morrison has just agreed to the motion at the UN to acknowledge Optimus Prime and his Autobots as a nation-state. And just when we thought this immigration invasion couldn’t get any worse, a motion to allow MORE of these aliens to come to our planet is also in development! As if we needed any more life on earth-”
Jacob dropped his paper towels and ran to grab his phone.
From the other side of the house came a scream, followed by outraged shouting.
“Shadow, you carb hoarding bagel bite stealing BITCH get back here!”
Meanwhile, the discord chat was silent. Not a single other member was awake to hear about the great bagel tragedy, and then we got the notification…
Discord:
Hot Rods Left Aft Cheek: @everyone @everyone @everyone GUYS TURN ON THE NEWS!
Hot Rods Left Aft Cheek: TRANSFORMERS… THEY ARE REAL.
Multiple Members are typing…..
Strawb: What?
Lia: yES THANK YOU for this information than I’m not ALREADY FREAKING OUT ABOUT Jake
tRANSFORMERS ARE REAL HOLY CRAP
Strawb: what????
Hot rods left Aft Cheek: Seriously turn on the news @strawb! Do a google search. Hell look up transformers movie on google!
Strawb: WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
Hot Rods Left aft Cheek: IKR? Is this some kind of JOKE?
Lia: I THOUGHT i WAS GOINg INSANE SO I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING!!!
Strawb: WHAT?!
Stars is typing…
Hot Rods Left Aft Cheek: STARS. YOU SEEIN THIS SHIT
Stars: I saw your kneecaps in the bagel bites picture jake.
Thatdoesnthelp: Hand em over jake.
Hot Rods Left Aft Cheek: You’ll pry them off my lifeless corpse ankle biter!
Thatdosenthelp: OWA, OWA
Stars: It’s inevitable Jake. We will have your knees and ankles.
Hot Rods Left Aft Cheek: IM SORRY NO BUT SERIOUSLY HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE NEWS?!
Zhang: Guys, GUYS have you heard?!
Hot Rods Left Aft Cheek: YES
Lia: YES
Strawb: WHAT?!
Stars: Wait is this for real?
Thatdoesnthelp: OWA, OWA
Multiple members are typing….
The next day…..
Arabis: Hey guys so…. I honestly thought this was an elaborate, nation-wide joke, but apparently Transformers exist now.
Carson: Um Arabis? Some of the things they’re covering on the news? They’re things you’ve written….
Arabis: Come again?
Arkah: Yea actually wait a minute. The whole thing with Eygpt just happened right?
Carson: Yea, and the secretary of Defense just mentioned being punched in the face by Samuel Witwicky on Fox News.
Jake-Has-Adhd: Fucking Fox News man. If anything, the secretary provoked Sam right?
Jake-Has-Adhd: Wait….
Arabis: Sam didn’t punch him in the movies…
Carson: That’s what I’m saying.
Arkah: WAIT. If that happened in the story then does that mean that the story is cannon?
Arabis: I actually don’t know what’s going on. This is all really overwhelming.
Carson: Well there’s an easy way to figure this out, right? We just watch the news and wait for updates.
Lia: Are you guys saying we might actually be in the
Germsinthecorner: Signature universe?
Lia: Signature universe?
Germ: Ha, same brain cell
Lia: A hivemind
Arabis: Even when things are actually getting crazy y'all are still the worse. I love you guys lol.
Germ: smugeyewink.jpeg
Lia: We are all Limes in the great univers of Limus
Morgan: Limus, you say?
Germ: !Limus
“Beings from another planet,
My name is Optimus Lime ,
And i bring forth a message from.... "
Lia: Limus!
ARabis: I hate you all
Jake-has-adhd: Spotted the Lie
Arabis: You need to stop that! XD
Jake-Has-Adhd: NEVAHHH!
Carson: This chat I swear.
Germ: I mean you guys made it possible so.
Arabis: Germ…
Germ:....
Arabis: Don’t.
Germ:....
Arabis:....
Germ: Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.jpeg
Arabis: !Corner
Germ: Worth It!
The next day, Arabis decided to write a letter to the one and only Dave Carter. Expecting a response was a mute thought, because she really didn’t think he’d actually see it with all the emails he received in his day to day operations.
What Arabis didn’t expect as she was browsing the signature discord, diet coke in hand with the sounds of her aquarium as ambiance, was three uniformed officers showing up at her door the next day, along with Dave Carter and a suspiciously familiar looking Top Kick, Motorcycle, and Porsche 924.
What followed was the most surreal conversation of Arabis’s life.
Dave was a pleasant man, well groomed, immaculately dressed, and punctual with his dialogue.
Exactly how Arabis had made him.
After a few clarifying snippets of dialogue confirming Arabis’s life and daily routine, Mr. Carter asked the hard question.
“So Arabis, could you shed some light on this email you’ve sent me?” Although his tone was pleasant, his eyes were sharp and assessing. He leaned forward in his spot on her couch as the guard's sharp eyes kept scanning the room.
Arabis swallowed nervously. It wasn’t every day a figment of one's fanfiction appeared in your living room, alive and very much in the flesh.
The subsequent series of questions and conversation were incredibly awkward and brutally honest, and yet Mr. Carter didn’t quite seem to believe what he was being presented.
After a series of back and forth, Mr. Carter asked for a moment as his phone rang. Walking over to another room, Dave began to have a rather prolonged conversation with whoever was on the other end, but Arabis had suspicions.
After a time, Dave came back over and regarded Arabis.
“Ma’am, there’s someone here who’d like to speak with you.”
“Of course, Mr. Carter.” Arabis replied in her most professional tone. Only privy to the autobots outside, her heart rate had sky rocketed to proportions that hinted at anxiety, anticipation, excitement, or terror.
“Humans.” Arcee murmured to herself as she tried to dissect the strange organic that was within arms reach of one of their most important humans in the command structures.
“Should we really be Letting Carter this close to someone that knows so much about us?”
Ironhide’s engine rumbled. “If she even attempts anything, Major Lennox and his men will handle the situation.”
The phone was placed on the coffee table in front of her as Dave activated it’s speaker function.
“Hello Arabis, my name is-”
“Prowler.” Arabis replied breathlessly. He sounded exactly like she imagined he would. To a T.
Arabis was noticeably freaking out, and if Dave’s look said anything, he was just as shocked as she was.
There was a noticeable pause on the other end of the line.
“Well, I normally am called Prowl, but that is my official designation in your language. May I ask how you know that?”
Arabis couldn’t take it anymore. She started laughing. Between wheezes she managed to get out,
“You. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Tell me, and I will make that determination, Mrs. Arabis.” Came the cool reply.
Chuckling again, Arabis told him and Dave everything. From the moment of conception to where they were now, she elaborated on how they came to be a work of fiction she wrote for hundreds of cult-like followers. By the time she finished, she was really in a dire need of a spiked diet coke.
“And that’s how the signature Universe came to be!” She laughed before looking up to see Dave blankly staring at the wall behind her. After a few seconds she called out to him.
“Mr. Carter?”
As if awakening from a trance, Mr. Carter blinked a few times before looking back at her.
“Yes, apologies, Mrs. Arabis. You were about to tell us about what you knew regarding-”
He was cut off as his phone began to vibrate erratically. With a confused look he swiped it open and held it up to his ear as he stepped away from Arabis.
“This is Carter. Yes, I was about to ask her about that.”
There was a pregnant pause before Dave breathed in sharply.
“What do you mean, he had a processor crash? When? 20 minutes ago? No that can’t be, I was just about to ask her to explain…. I did? No, I would have remembered.”
He continued to listen as the voice on the other line informed him of what had just transpired over the course of those 20 minutes while Arabis stared at him. After a few more terse moments of back and forth, Dave turned to the soldiers in the room.
“Will, what time did we enter the residence?”
Arabis did a double take before turning around so fast she should have had whiplash. Standing by her front door was no other than William freakin Lennox in full combat gear, much like the other soldiers in the residence. Externally, Arabis remained calm. Internally? Screaming like a deranged hamster.
William Lennox checked his wrist watch before doing a double take.
“We’ve been here for a little over 40 mikes, Carter.”
Carter nodded as if confirming his own suspicions. “And our friends outside?”
Will tilted his head to the side as he listened to his earpiece before his facial features sharpened, snapping over to Arabis with a look that made her nervous.
“They have no recollection of the last 20 minutes either.”
Suddenly the entire rooms dynamic changed, as everyone present focused on her.
“I just answered your question regarding how I know about the Autobots and recent events, Mr. Carter.” Arabis said nervously, holding up her hands in a placating manner.
Just then her phone pinged with a notification from discord from where she had left it before her discussion with Dave. Dave, who was standing right next to it, glanced at the screen before sneezing and remaining motionless for several seconds, the screen had displayed the following,
“StarScream’sDortitoTorso (Main-chat) pinged @everyone ‘So Star Screams in Hooker Heels Right?’ * photo attached*.
Everyone in the room immediately changed to a more alerted and frankly threatening posture. After a few moments, Dave came back to himself and smiled pleasantly at Arabis.
“So, Arabis, could you fill us in about how you knew about the contents you sent in our previous email-”
“Dave.” Will said in a tone that demanded attention. Glancing up, Dave regarded Lennox with confusion.
“Yes Will?”
Will gritted his teeth as he fingered his safety on his assault rifle, looking at Arabis.
“We have a code 23-19.”
Dave stiffened before snapping his gaze to Arabis, his posture suddenly threatening.
“Arabis [REDACTED], you're being placed under administrative arrest in a joint section between the Autobot and Canadian Government under sections 1315. Anything you say can and will be used against you in both Autobot and Canadian Judicial court of laws."
"Detain her" Grunted William Lennox before leaving the room
The soldiers, "Copy." detaining and administering a sedative.
All Arabis had time to say was, "wait, That's illeg--"