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“What are you doing up there, Jinx?”
Jinx quickly wiped at her eyes, and did her best to take deep breaths, hoping as she sat upright that when she dropped down, he wouldn’t notice that she’d been crying. She hadn’t exactly anticipated him arriving back so soon… And his office was comforting to her. She’d hoped she’d have enough time to cry a little in the rafters before his meeting was over and that she could pretend like nothing was the matter when he’d returned.
But he was back now, so it was time to put on a show.
“Nothing,” She said quickly, hoping he couldn’t hear the rasp in her voice. “Just… Hanging out!”
She forced a laugh then, but even she could tell that it was awkward. Silco didn’t say anything, and Jinx watched quietly as he slowly strode from the door over to his desk, nothing but the sounds of his boots treading over the wooden floorboards filling the silence. He paused at his chair, hand resting on the back rest. From where he stood, Jinx could see his face; He looked like he was thinking about something. Carefully.
After a moment he looked up at her; Or, at least in her general direction. She was pretty sure that in the shadows, he couldn’t really see her but still… His eyes somehow locked onto hers and it made her feel seen. Which she didn’t really want right now. And it didn’t help that his face looked so tired and worn down; Concerned.
He sighed, heavily. The meeting with the Chem-barons must have gone poorly. She watched as he removed his coat, hanging it over the back of his chair before he sat down. He sighed again, drummed his fingers on the arms of the chair before he looked up at her.
“Come down here. Please.”
He didn’t sound angry. He hardly ever did. At least with her. But there was this something in his voice that still made her heart pang. It was concern. Worry. She hated making him worry.
She hesitated in following his request. And he noticed.
“Jinx?”
Still not angry. Just concerned. But she could feel the stinging in her eyes, she knew her face had to be red and blotchy. He’d know immediately when she dropped down that she’d been crying. And he’d be even more worried. She didn’t want that. But staying up here would also make him worried. She couldn’t win.
She huffed, hoping maybe if she sounded annoyed he’d think he was just being paranoid. She hated when he was worried about her. But she hated when he knew she was sad even more. Because it made him sad. And she hated when he was sad.
She swung her feet over the ledge and after pausing for a brief moment, she dropped down onto his desk. She landed on her feet, as she’d done millions of times before. The table shook a little upon impact, making his papers rustle and slip off the desk as his ashtray rattled. She crossed her arms as she looked down at him with a smirk.
“Did you get it?”
Silco’s face scrunched in confusion.
“Get… What?”
“My joke!” Jinx exclaimed, forcing herself to sound exasperated. “Get it? HANGING… Out! Because I was in the rafters-”
She pointed up at the rafters-
“Hanging…”
She trailed off. Silco had noticed her puffy eyes, the blotchy redness of her cheeks. And he looked worried. And that just made her want to cry even more.
Her smirk slipped. She could feel her throat tighten. She blinked quickly hoping that would stop the tears from falling. Her lips were trembling.
“Hanging out,” She finished, defeated.
For a moment, father and daughter remained silent, as Jinx stood awkwardly upon his desk, and Silco sat looking up at her. Both waiting for the other to speak first. Jinx, who was fighting desperately not to cry in front of her old man, without thinking wrapped her arms around herself in a self embrace.
“So,” she said, her voice hoarse as she forced a painful smile. “How did your meeting go?”
Silco stared at her for a moment, the look in his eyes was pained. Tired. Worried. But then he sighed, and rested his head in his hands.
“Not good,” he said simply, as he rubbed his temples. More silence followed. “Sit down. Please.”
Again, Jinx hesitated, before crossing her legs under her as she plopped down to sit upon his desk, hugging her knees to her chest. She knew he didn’t mind. He never did. She watched as he took in a deep breath before raising his head. He opened a drawer and took out a cigar. Silently, he motioned to something behind Jinx, but she didn’t follow.
“The cutter,” he said when he realized she didn’t understand. “And the lighter.”
Jinx nodded quickly, untangling herself so she could turn around and grab the items he’d asked for. When she handed them to him, he offered her a tired smile.
“Thank you.”
Jinx went back to hugging her legs.
“You’re welcome.”
They were quiet as Silco cut the cigar, held it to his lips and flicked the lighter to life. With the first few puffs, the familiar smell of tobacco filled the air, and in Silco’s company, sitting on his desk in his office, Jinx felt a little comforted. She leaned her chin on her knees as Silco smoked. After a moment, Silco sighed, leaned back in his chair, and Jinx watched as a plume of smoke left his mouth. He seemed to be thinking. And once he was done, he leaned forward, tapping the cigar a couple of times over the ashtray Jinx had painted ages ago before he spoke.
“What’s wrong, dear?” He asked warmly. Jinx felt her throat tighten again, and she hugged her knees a little tighter as she quickly shifted her eyes to look away from him.
“Nothing,” she said, but her voice faltered, and she knew he wasn’t convinced. He leaned forward again, resting his still burning cigar in the ashtray to free his hands before he scooted his chair closer.
“Jinx,” he said, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper. He held his hands to her, and Jinx bit the inside of her lip to keep herself from crying as she slipped her hands into his.
“What happened topside?”
She was quiet as he gently rubbed his thumbs over her bruised knuckles. She could feel the tears brimming over before she could even think to stop them. She was crying. She fucking hated crying. Especially in front of Silco.
She sniffed harshly, taking one of her hands back to quickly wipe her face. Silco clicked his tongue then as he often did when she began to get upset. And when he reassuringly squeezed her hand, she couldn’t take it. She covered her face with her free hand as a choked sob escaped her throat.
“I’m sorry,” She said before she could stop herself, and when Silco stood from his chair to hold her, she truly began to sob. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shhh, it’s okay Dove,” he said softly as he held her. “It’s okay. We’ll fix this.”
Jinx abandoned the act of trying to keep herself together, unfolding her legs so she could bury her face into Silco’s chest and cry. Her arms wrapped around him, and his hands rested gently on her back, rubbing small circles as he’d done so many times to comfort her. They stayed this way for several minutes, until Jinx felt like she could breathe again. Still sniffling, and taking in shaky breaths, Jinx laughed weakly.
“What’s funny?” Silco asked as he petted her hair. Jinx smiled now as she gently pulled away, which he allowed, so she could look up at him.
“Nothing,” she sniffled as she wiped her eyes with a smile. “It’s just that… I think I got snot on your nice vest.”
Silco looked down at his tear stained vest and smiled amused.
“Nothing that can’t be washed,” He chuckled. Holding Jinx’s hand again, he sat down. “Better now?”
Jinx wiped her nose on the back of her free hand as she sighed.
“Kinda. I’ll probably cry again… I’m sorry.”
Silco smiled warmly at her as he rubbed her hand.
“That’s okay.”
He let go of her hand then, picking up his cigar and lighter as he leaned back in his chair.
“Sevika told me a little about what happened.”
Jinx had suspected as much. It was supposed to have been her first solo mission, but she’d assumed Sevika had been sent to keep an eye on her from afar. It… Made her a little angry. Did he not trust her? But she couldn’t think about that now. Not when there was bigger problems at the moment.
“Then you don’t need me to tell you about it,” she mumbled as she stared at her hands in her lap. Silco took a puff from his cigar.
“I want to hear your side.”
Jinx sighed as she leaned back, sprawling across Silco’s desk in the hopes that staring up at the ceiling might keep her from crying again.
“It… Started out fine,” she began slowly, playing with one of her braids. “Everything was going just as planned. The guard handed over the money and I handed over the shimmer. I thought that was it. The transaction was done.”
Anxiously, Jinx twirled the end of the braid in her fingers. Taking in deep breaths in the hopes of preventing her voice from shaking, she continued.
“But as I was counting the money to make sure he didn’t stiff us, he started yelling at me. Said we’d cheated him and hadn’t given him what he’d paid for.” Fresh tears stung her eyes as the anger and fear she’d felt earlier that afternoon returned.
“I told him he got exactly what he paid for, but he wouldn’t listen! Started saying I needed to give him his money back but I said no. He got the goods. I got the money. The deal was over.”
Quickly she wiped her eyes as she groaned in frustration.
“Well that pissed him off so… He hit me.”
As she’d been laying down, she hadn’t been able to see Silco had put the cigar to his lips again just as she revealed the guard had struck her. She only realized when, before she continued, her old man who in the time that she’d known him had never once coughed while smoking, turned into a choking sputtering mess.
“He WHAT?!” Silco bellowed in between coughs. Jinx sat up, still fiddling with her braid.
“I thought Sevika told you about that.”
“No she-,” He stopped himself, taking a deep breath to regain his composure. “We’ll return to this, I apologize for interrupting. Continue.”
Jinx nodded as she fixed her eyes on a point in the floor. She didn’t want to look Silco in the eyes as she relayed the next part; Especially if she really started crying again.
“So… After he hit me. I fell to the ground. And he started… He started calling me all these names.”
She let go of her braid then, puffing her chest out and putting her hands on her hips to mimic the uppity enforcer types.
“‘You’re nothing but a little cheating slum rat’ he said. ‘You’re just a little no good bitch, and your boss is a fucking liar! Give me my fucking money, you little whore!’”
She lowered her hands, letting them rest in her lap as she slouched, her little impersonation finished.
“And then he. Started saying bad stuff about you. That you were a dirty backstabber. A cheat. That he outta teach you a lesson,” she wiped her nose again, scowling angrily. “And that pissed ME off so… I lunged at him. I started punching him and scratching him. I think I… I think I bit him too-”
Silco snorted a little at that.
“But then he punched me and pushed me off of him. He started cussing at me again. And then-”
Her voice broke. Tears fell down her cheeks as she stared blankly at the floor.
“He started saying he knew ‘exactly how to teach Silco that lesson’. He… Took out this knife and-,” She rubbed the back of her head that still ached a little. “He grabbed me by my hair. He held the knife to my throat and got really close to my face. He… He said I looked pretty for a slum rat. And that it was a shame he was going to have to cut my face up.”
She sneered as she hiccuped, holding her head in one hand. The look in his eyes. Like he felt like he was superior to her. Like she was nothing but trash. She expected it from Piltover shits like him but god, she felt so fucking angry. The audacity…
“Did,” Silco’s voice was soft but… Dark. She’d heard him sound like this before. Only once. And someone died shortly after. “Did he hurt… You?”
The question was cautious but deliberate, and Jinx laughed, exasperated, as she quickly shook her head.
“No. Fucking bastard. I shot him in the leg. Fucking idiot didn’t see I had a gun but…,” she angrily ran her fingers through her hair. “That doesn’t make it any less… Infuriating! The fact that he felt like he was superior, like he was somehow better than someone like me and-”
She hesitated saying the next part. You’re weak, a voice whispered, and she felt like screaming. She felt like a little kid again, having to admit this but-
“Silco,” she whimpered. “I was… Really scared.”
Sobs wracked her small frame as she buried her face in her hands. She didn’t see Silco put his cigar out, or him get out of his chair, but when he pulled her in for a hug, she slid off his desk and returned the embrace. She could feel that his breathing was shaky, but despite that, she felt comforted and safe.
“Jinx-”
“And- And then Sevika came in. And she told me she’d take care of everything and to just go back. But the guard he’d… He must have grabbed the money off me when he’d pinned me. I messed up, Silco. I lost the money, and I shot an enforcer, and I know- I- I’ve caused a lot of problems for you, I know that’s why the emergency meeting was called and I’m s-sorry! I’m so sorry!”
“Jinx, look at me please,” Silco urged her as he released her to gently hold her wrists. Jinx obliged her father, looking up at him as she hiccuped and sobbed. His eyes looked so hurt and sad; Worried. He cupped her face gently as he wiped her tears away, seeming to desperately try to find the right words to say.
“It’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. The money is disappointing but I don’t really care about that. The guard issue has been dealt with, the chem-barons, you just leave them to me. All that matters to me is that you’re okay. That you’re safe.”
Silco didn’t cry; But in this moment, his eyes began to water, and his brows furrowed in a manner Jinx had never seen. His voice shook when he spoke.
“I’m sorry… Jinx. I’m sorry that you had to deal with that. God, I wish I could just- That man had no right to haggle you or treat you the way he did. I put you in that position. I should have known better-”
He doesn’t think you can handle going solo-
“I-! I could have handled it! I’m sure I could have saved myself without Sevika-!”
He doesn’t trust you-
“I can handle solo missions-!”
He doesn’t TRUST you-
“Please! I can do it, I can do it, I-”
“Jinx!” Silco gently grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him, to stop her spiral. It was as if he could read her mind.
“I know you can handle it. I know you’re strong, and you’re capable of taking care of yourself. This isn’t about if you can handle it or not, Jinx. This isn’t about trust. Because I trust you, dear. I trust you greatly. I know you’re capable of anything you set your mind to.”
His lips tightened.
“But you’re my daughter. Your safety is ultimately my responsibility. And I put you in a position that was dangerous. I trust Sevika would have stepped in but… Dove, that’s not a risk I can take. I can’t gamble with your safety.”
Jinx rested her head against his chest, hugging him again, as she cried softly. She knew he wasn’t particularly a hugger; Which come to think of it, made his earlier action to initiate a hug feel even more comforting. Jinx was a hugger, and she found comfort in Silco’s embrace. So they stood in silence for a while, holding one another, and Jinx slowly collected herself.
“I’m proud of you,” Silco said softly. “I know things didn’t go as planned. But I’m proud of you. Always.”
Jinx smiled.
“Thanks… Dad.”
She didn’t often call him dad; but she knew it meant a lot to him. Just as much as him calling her his daughter, and saying he was proud of her, did to her.
“Hmm… Of course.”
He leaned his head against her’s, both refusing to move. After a moment, Jinx snickered.
“What?” Silco asked.
“Nothing,” Jinx laughed a little as she sniffed. “I got more snot on your vest.”
Silco chuckled, tightening his embrace a little.
“It’s alright. Nothing that can’t be washed.”
Father and daughter laughed softly. Jinx felt a smidge better. She mostly felt tired from the day's events and from crying so much. She didn’t feel like talking about it anymore, and she was hoping perhaps she could lighten the mood.
“Dad?” she asked.
“Hm?”
“Do you think… We can go to Jericho’s? I’m hungry.”
“Of course we can,” Silco smiled as they finally pulled away from each other. “I think you deserve it after the day you’ve had.”
~~~
“Do you think we can swing dessert too?” Jinx asked, walking on old wooden beams as Silco and her navigated the streets of Zaun. Silco smiled at her over his shoulder.
“I think we can… ‘swing’ that, yes.”
Jinx smiled brightly, jumping off the beam and upon landing swung around to walk backwards in front of Silco. She seemed to be in a much better mood now. She had to be tired, emotionally drained, but it was comforting to Silco to see her in better spirits.
“Say, old man!” Jinx smirked, a streak of mischief set ablaze in her eyes that reminded Silco of himself at her age. “When’s the last time you raced anyone?”
Silco smiled and chuckled.
“Can’t say recently. Why do you ask?” That mischievous look in her eyes got bigger.
“I bet money I can beat you to Jericho’s starting right here!”
“Dove, I don’t doubt you. Like you said, I’m an ‘old man’, my knees aren’t what they used to be.”
“Awwwww come on! It’ll be fun! Please?”
Silco laughed heartily at her big puppy dog eyes. He couldn’t say no to her even if he wanted to.
“Okay, okay. But on the off chance that I do win, you pay for dinner.”
“Don’t hold me too it pops, all I have in these pockets is a few coins and a crayon, so if you win, we’ll be washing dishes!”
Jinx turned back around and stopped, Silco stopping beside her. He knew there were people everywhere, all of which were watching as the unofficial leader of the Undercity and his teenage daughter engaged with each other on the street. Sevika would have something to say about this, but he frankly didn’t care. After today, he was just happy to see her safe, and over the moon to see her happy.
“Okay, on the count of three,” Jinx said excitedly. “One. Two-”
“Three!” Silco cut her off, running ahead as Jinx called after him.
“HEY! YOU CHEAT!”
Silco laughed as he glanced over his shoulder, watching as this fifteen year old girl came hurtling behind him. Quickly, she passed him even as he was running as fast as he could.
“HA! I’LL SEE YOU AT THE FINISH LINE POPS!”
Silco was still laughing, and wheezing a little, as he slowed, watching Jinx take off. She’d grown up so much in seven years. She was getting to be a young woman.
Today had scared him more than he wished for her to know. And the rage he felt towards the guard… Sevika had taken care of him. And with a hefty sum paid to Marcus, everything was to be kept under wraps. But it wasn’t the issues with Piltover that had scared him the most, or the anger he’d faced when the chem-barons had received word of what had happened. It had been Jinx’s safety.
With Sevika hovering as Silco had instructed, he knew that she wasn’t in any immediate danger. But the fact that it had taken Sevika so long to respond… He couldn’t help but worry. That was his little girl. His pride and joy. If anything had happened to her… If for some reason, Sevika hadn’t been able to intervene. If the guard had- If Silco had lost Jinx. Well… He wasn’t sure Piltover would be able to handle his wrath.
But she was fine. A little bruised, and very emotional. But she was safe. And she was alive. He had to keep reminding himself of that.
He was proud of her. Yes, everything had fallen apart. But he was still proud of her. Watching her grow into who she was now had so far been such a reward. Jinx was strong, intelligent, wickedly so. Almost too smart for Silco to know what to do with. And she was so strong willed. So determined. He knew she felt like she had something to prove. But he didn’t know how to make her see that to him, she didn’t have to prove anything. He trusted her more than anyone else. He loved her. She was perfect to him. Perfect. Today had been difficult, but to Silco? She’d done perfectly. And he was proud.
After catching his breath, Silco picked up a nice jog again. He knew Jinx had to be at Jericho’s by now. He’d had no chance of winning against her. And he was right; When he finally stopped at the little hole in the wall, Jinx was already sitting at the counter, looking rather proud of herself.
“Yeesh!” she exclaimed with a laugh as she watched Silco hunch over to, again, catch his breath. “I knew you were old, but I thought you’d at least give me SOME competition!”
Silco smiled as he stood upright; His knees hurt, but he wasn’t going to say anything as it would only give her more ammunition to use in the “old man” banter. He sat at the counter next to her.
“Guess I’ll be paying tonight.”
Jinx nodded, giving him a big toothy grin.
“And don’t forget about dessert!”
Silco smiled. This was his daughter. Light of his life. He loved her incredibly much.
“Right, dessert.”
“Annnnnd,” Jinx kicked her feet. “Perhaps… Some new paint? You’re the loser after all.”
“I don’t seem to remember you owed me a whole lot if I won,” Silco smirked. Jinx stuck out her tongue at him playfully. “I think we can afford that.”
The pair ordered, and as they waited, Jinx rested her head against his shoulder.
“Thanks again…,” She said softly, her mischief gone. “It’s been a rough day.”
Silco leaned his head on hers and sighed.
“I know. And it’s not an issue… You’re my daughter. I’m here to help you when things are rough.”
Jinx was quiet for a minute.
“I love you… Dad.”
Neither often verbally acknowledged that they loved each other. It was just something that was understood between them. Silco frequently acknowledged Jinx was his daughter, but it was not often Jinx acknowledged him as a father. But it was also something that was just understood. They were family; They didn’t need to verbally say it to know it was true. But it also meant a lot to Silco when it was acknowledged. And so he sat for a moment, a little taken aback, but happy nonetheless. He closed his eye and sighed.
“I love you too, Jinx. I’m proud of you.”
~~~
Father and daughter enjoyed their dinner, stopped for dessert, and had picked up some new paint before returning home. Jinx had gone to her room, exhausted after the day's events, after giving Silco one last hug and thanking him. Silco had returned to his office, worked for a little while, and had finally decided it was time to go to bed himself.
Now, in the span of seven years, Silco had made it a habit to check in on Jinx every evening after he was done working before he went to his own room. It had started as a means of making sure no nightmares had awoken her and left her frightened, and over time had just stuck in his slightly overprotective parent routine. Tonight, like most nights these days, when he peeked into her room, she was fast asleep.
He smiled softly to himself. He was happy to see her getting some rest. She deserved it after today. Softly, he closed her door, and began making his way to his quarters.
The day's events slowly replayed in his mind, and he pondered again the possibility of losing Jinx. That frightened him. Deeply.
She was a teenager now, and so she was even more headstrong and stubborn than she had been when he’d first taken her in. It didn’t help that she felt like she had to prove herself. She’d feel like he didn’t trust her if he refused to assign her solo missions. But after today… The thought terrified him.
She meant too much to him. He’d meant everything he’d said to her today, but most importantly, that he wasn’t willing to gamble with her safety.
Of course if he refused, that would push her away. And he couldn’t afford that either. He could continue to send her on group missions, with solo missions being only occasionally. On solo missions he could still send Sevika to hover. But of course, then Jinx would feel like he didn’t trust her to go fully solo.
He was overthinking. All of this could be thought about and figured out later. Tonight, he needed to find comfort in the fact that she was safe. The what ifs hadn’t happened and they couldn’t happen now. She was okay now. He needed to appreciate that.
As he went to sleep that night, Silco thought about how much she’d grown, how proud he was of her, and how he looked forward to seeing what she’d continue to do in the future. He had no idea that in two years time, everything he’d worked for would fall down around him; And he would lose his life at her hands.