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Getting stationed at the spleen wasn’t a surprise.
The fact that the neutrophils sent there to act as hosts were.
It started out as an initiative to inhibit the passage of pathogens of the body. What better way to stymie any threats to the body than easing them slowly to their demise? Well, that’s what the higher ups proposed after the surprising success M Cell had during that one mission. More often than not, however, the plan of disguise fell to the wayside when neutrophils automatically just attacked a pathogen.
Whatever the case, hosting was almost like a vacation compared to the high risk missions neutrophils often embarked on. Of course, most of them were still loyal to the mission of defending the body, but none of them could deny that there was an appeal to lounging comfortably with their clients.
That was simply not the case with U-1146.
You see, the only reason why he continued to serve a part time job as a host was because the rest of his squad were good at it (and they specifically requested that he remained stationed with them). Even U-2001, who was most certainly not that interested in romantic relations with most cells, still had the charm and the wit to settle down nerves, offer a warm smile to the weary, and be as suave and useful like any other host in the spleen.
And that was just straight-laced, grumpy 2001.
The rest were just as bad.
U-4989 often told jokes and often recreated his dangerous stunts out in the field with props that he used out of serving trays, wine glasses, and the like. (And no, management hadn’t disciplined him yet, but 1146 had heard some complaints about safety).
Meanwhile, U-2626 was a great listener (and an even better shoulder to cry on!). His calm demeanor and lack of a judgmental gaze (or any gaze, if 1146 wanted to be pedantic) allowed for him to seem like the perfect confidant. It was a skill that allowed him to see bacteria that tried to pass themselves as civilian cells.
However—
U-2048 was the worst. The. Absolute. Worst.
He would take the hand of whoever he was talking to, didn’t matter the cell, and flirt like it was his last day in the body. He had the body, the gaze, and the aura of someone who was born for hosting. Time and time again, many of the clients would surround 2048 and look at him with adoration.
Many of the clients would ask any of 1146’s squad for another session, but 2048 would always receive the most requests.
It rankled at 1146, but not because of petty jealousy.
But because 1146, in comparison, was not good at this hosting thing at all.
Sure, he could memorize customer’s orders, serve drinks flawlessly, and be attentive, but he lacked the magnetic pull, a certain idiosyncrasy that his coworkers easily displayed, but he simply didn’t have. 1146 was efficient and hardworking, but in the grand scheme of things, he was certainly far from the model of a perfect host.
All in all, 1146 hated to admit it, but he was just no good. He wanted to quit. For a professional cell like himself, it was a low blow to his ego, but even more for his squad.
Of course, they would be sad to see him go, but it wasn’t like he was never going to see them again. Patrols were picking up again due to the wintry season and the joint cooperative mission at the spleen was no longer necessary. If he truly wanted, 1146 could have stayed, but he thought that his skills were needed elsewhere.
During such a low point, he had confided in AE-3803, who nodded in understanding. Like him, she had problems in the past concerning her work and how it seemed that she wasn’t contributing as much as her fellow coworkers. Unlike him, however, she had managed to live up to and exceed the expectations placed upon her and managed to live a successful life. Of course, it wasn’t like she had a choice—red blood cells, after all, either played a major role in the body or were deposited to the spleen for disposal.
(But that’s another story entirely).
3803 respected his decision, but she also asked if he was still working a few more shifts.
“I’ve never been to the spleen while you were on duty,” she shrugged. “I think it would be interesting to see how well you treat customers.”
“And you?” 1146 couldn’t help but ask.
She laughed, a promise decorating the inflection of her voice. “That too.”
The neutrophil had made sure to tell his erythrocyte friend that she shouldn’t expect too much from him. Other than the speedy service and amiable chit chat, there wasn’t much he could do to entertain. Despite his lackluster warning, 3803 shook her head and promised that she would see him after her shift.
It was now after 3803’s shift (1146 had checked earlier) and while he wouldn’t call himself nervous, he was apprehensive. 3803 had seen him at his best (or arguably, his worst, depending on perspective) on the field, but he doubted she had ever seen him taking part in the service industry. Whether he passed whatever expectations she had, he didn’t know.
He would only try his hardest and hope for the best.
… which is what he thought he was going to do until he realized that 3803 didn’t come alone.
Honestly, given the fact that his favorite red blood cell was quite friendly and personable towards her coworkers, he shouldn’t have been too surprised that he was not only going to serve her, but also AA-5100 and NT-4201. As much as he would like to remain optimistic at the situation, though, all three erythrocytes looked dead on their feet and worse for wear. Their clothes were disheveled, hair rumpled and askew underneath their berets, and their faces were slick with sweat. All three of them managed to greet him, but it was only 3803 who managed a small smile before heading towards a table that he chose.
A hard day at work, 1146 surmised.
He had heard from other red blood cells that the body had been undergoing extreme stress, which resulted in an increased demand for more oxygen. Strenuous activity was not a stranger to any hard working cell in the body, but it seemed that all three erythrocytes looked like they were ready to fall over and sleep for a couple cycles.
Playing the perfect host, 1146 immediately set to work by fetching them a pot of fresh tea. The scent of a fresh brew did garner a look of praise from 5100, but 4201 merely dumped in a few more cubes of sugar than was necessary while 3803 looked seconds away from nodding off.
A lump formed in the back of 1146’s throat.
This was definitely not how he envisioned spending his final shift.
For a moment, 1146 thought about turning tail and asking someone else for professional help or abandoning them altogether, but he steeled himself. A mission was a mission and he never backed away from a job. Even if he ultimately failed, he wanted to make sure that he tried.
Taking a seat next to 3803, he simply said, “I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I am glad that you’re all here. You’re free to tell me what’s wrong or you can always request another host if you like.” He paused, more than aware of all three pairs of eyes scrutinizing him in curiosity. “The spleen prides itself on making sure that all of its guests are treated with care and respect and I don’t want to do you a disservice by giving a subpar performance.”
It hurt a bit to admit that he wasn’t good at hosting—to be fair, this wasn’t his job—but he felt a little less apprehensive when he came clean about his capabilities. Every good warrior worth their salt should know about all of their strengths and weaknesses, when to pick their battles, and when to disengage and allow someone better suited to take the job.
If he remembered correctly, 4989 had a slot open.
He sucked in a tight breath and waited for judgment.
Instead, what he felt was a light hand on his shoulder. Looking up, he saw that it was 3803. While she was still tired, there was a slight uptick to her lips, an understanding light to her eyes.
“I wouldn’t mind if you stayed here to listen.” She leaned in close, a mischievous stage whisper caressing his ears. “Between you and me, 4201 looks like she’s ready to complain about management.”
Taking that as a cue, the youngest red blood cell began to pick apart all the flaws and bureaucratic red tape that haunted every department of the body. Maps were hardly updated, roads were barely maintained, what was the body coming to?
5100 nodded along, a sage-like presence emanating as she countered or agreed with 4201’s concerns. As these two bickered, it provided an ambience that allowed the last remaining red blood cell to relax and yawn back into her chair.
Every so often, when the conversation seemed to lull, 1146 would pitch in with an observation, top off their mugs with more tea, or encourage them with an understanding smile as they ranted. Soon, however, both 5100 and 4201 began to drift into territory that 1146 became more comfortable with engaging and understanding.
(There were just some secrets of the trade that were familiar to red blood cells, but not so of the immune system).
As the cycle soon came to a close, all three red blood cells were sated and relaxed. All of their stresses and problems of the previous cycle had seemingly been sloughed off like epidermal cells on the topmost layer of skin. As 1146 bid 5100 and 4201 goodbye, 3803 stayed behind, a tired but warm smile on her face.
“Well,” 1146 couldn’t help but ask anxiously. “Was it okay? I’m sorry I couldn’t entertain you as well as some other hosts.”
1146 readied himself for whatever bad review he was going to get. Past clients were lackluster in how well they viewed him and it was rare for clients to request him more than once—if he even got requests in the first place. Apprehension wasn’t something he wasn’t unfamiliar with, but it was startling to note that he was desperate to hear how 3803 thought of his hosting.
He wasn’t expecting a stunning review, but he definitely wasn’t expecting 3803 to take his arm gently.
The surprise must have been more than apparent on his face because 3803 laughed softly, the tip of her finger gently tapping him on the nose.
“You would think that this job was more relaxing than running around killing bacteria,” she murmured fondly, “but I suppose when you give a job your all, you’ll end up giving yourself more stress than is necessary.”
“My all,” he couldn’t help but scoff. He slumped down beside 3803, wishing for all the world that he could drop on the floor and sleep. “I’ve never been good at hosting. Besides, 5100 and 4201 mostly carried the conversation while all I did was pour drinks.”
She hummed softly. “So? I think one of your best strengths as a host—no, as a person—is that you don’t have to act. You’re a great listener, you’re always present, and you just know what to say.”
He looked at her curiously. “And these traits… are good? You weren’t at all bored?”
The red blood cell pulled back as if she were insulted. She tempered that action, much to 1146’s gratefulness, by allowing a spark of mischief to light up her golden eyes.
“Of course not! There’s a reason why I requested that you spend your last hosting session with me!” All of a sudden, her back straightened and her cheeks colored. Had she said something wrong? 1146 couldn’t help but ponder this, but she continued with,“Us, I mean.”
1146 cocked his head to the side, a little confused at her correction, but she changed the subject just as quickly.
“A-anyway, I think I can say for the rest of us that we had a wonderful time with you.” She gave him a hug before she stood up to leave the spleen. “It’s a shame that you’re never going to host again.”
And that’s when 1146 came up with an idea.
It was a split second decision and it was definitely not predicated by anything significant—it simply appeared in his nucleus like nutrients floating through the bloodstream.
“Well… technically, you don’t need a fancy establishment to host. If you’d like…” He glanced askance, already knowing that maybe this was a waste of time and maybe use maybe, he was reading into things—
“You’ll host me at the barracks?” Her eyes were wide with excitement and it looked like her body was trembling, almost as if her body was coursing with an electric current. “Should I bring something? Ooohhh, I know I haven’t found a sweet that you liked, but I bet this new glucose pop will be good for you!”
Watching her silently, but with a smile that could light up an entire room, 1146 stood by. She was making all sorts of plans because she actually wanted to spend more time with him.
Had he actually done a good job? Or was it simply out of the kindness of her heart that she wanted to entertain this notion that he could be a host?
The question regarding his competence plagued him, but the longer he basked in her enthusiasm, the more he realized that he didn’t care—didn’t want to care.
She wanted him to host her again.
“Don’t worry,” he soothed. “I’ll make sure to have enough tea for us.”