Archive of Our Own

Fuck, I'm such an idiot, Ichigo thought, scowling at himself in the mirror.

The glare wasn't for his reflection. Wearing the chocolate colored t-shirt that always brought out his eyes and a royal blue hoodie along with skinny jeans, Ichigo knew he looked good. He glared at his reflection again, however, mentally acknowledging that the outfit was the sort of thing he'd wear for a date, not for going out with a friend, and cursed himself.

“Stupid bastard,” he muttered to his reflection.

If he really thought about it, Ichigo had to admit that he had no idea how long he'd had a crush on his dorky redheaded best friend. For a long time he had used school, shinigami stuff, and anything else he could think of to try to ignore the new cravings he felt growing inside his body, mostly because when he closed his eyes to touch himself, it wasn't the thought of girls that did it for him. Finally, after years of having to adjust to the idea, when Ichigo finally admitted to himself that he liked men, he had to subsequently get used to the fact that the person who starred in his fantasies, who always seemed to be there the moment he closed his eyes, was Renji.

He'd tried thinking about other people, or nothing, but somehow it was always Renji's face he saw as he came, or the redhead's big hands sliding all over him, making him moan, or... Fuck, Ichigo thought, glowering at himself in the mirror, now is not the time for this. Focus.

Ichigo did manage then to turn his thoughts to what he wanted to make sure they talked about that night, not his vivid fantasies. No matter what, Ichigo thought, he'd ask Renji what the hell was wrong, and he would make sure that the redhead gave him a decent answer. As he thought back, Ichigo wasn't sure exactly when he'd noticed the change in his friend, but at some point he realized that during the past few months, whenever he'd seen Renji, the man had either been massively distracted or, when he thought no one was looking, his expression had lapsed into something resembling depression.

Just thinking about it made Ichigo feel odd, since he'd never seen the redhead down for long. Even after he'd defeated Renji in Soul Society so long ago, the redhead had still been confident and determined enough to ask, hell, to almost demand that Ichigo save Rukia. The idea of Renji looking crushed like this scared Ichigo a little, especially because if the redhead realized anyone was looking at him with concern, he'd give one of those big, lopsided grins of his. They were different than his former annoying grins, though, and Ichigo couldn't think of why until he recalled looking in the mirror on one of his more difficult days and realized that Renji's smile was like the one he himself used when he didn't want people worrying about him.

Fuck, Ichigo thought, running a hand through his hair as he turned away from the mirror, determined to change into an old t-shirt and some faded, worn-in jeans or anything more like something he'd wear for an evening out with a friend – a guy friend, to boot. The knock on the door came at that moment, however, so Ichigo gave himself a final scowl in the mirror and opened up to Renji.

Trying to smile even though his heart was pounding the way it always did when he saw his friend, Ichigo said, “Renji. Let me grab my coat.”

It wasn't until they were both out in the hall that Ichigo caught sight of what Renji was wearing. The redhead sported jeans that looked suspiciously like bell bottoms and Ichigo could see a shirt with a collar that was way too wide peeking out from under the heavy coat that the redhead wore. He shook his head.

“Renji, those clothes went out of style decades ago, you know,” Ichigo said in a lightly mocking tone.

It made his heart sink to watch Renji's reaction. Instead of shouting and calling Ichigo an idiot with no taste or shooting a sly grin and a snide comment in his direction, Renji just glanced at him for a moment, a mildly curious expression on his face. “Really?” the redhead asked, looking down at what he was wearing with an expression that spoke to the fact that he didn't see what the problem was.

And suddenly, Ichigo had to turn away as he felt a sharp sense of shame rise up in him. No, of course Renji didn't have much of a sense of style, Ichigo realized; the redhead hadn't had anyone to teach him about it when he was young, and he would have been too busy to learn much anyway since he'd had to spend most of his time scrounging for water and food.

“Idiot. I'll have to take you with me the next time I get some stuff so I can show you what decent clothes look like,” Ichigo said gruffly after a few seconds of silence, chancing a look over at his friend.

Renji turned to look at him then, a small grin on his face. “Sure,” he agreed.

Ichigo couldn't help but smile then, and again when practically the moment they made it out to the street Renji started complaining, shoving his hands farther into his pockets against the chill. “Fuck! It's way too cold here.”

“It's January, Renji,” Ichigo said, trying to keep an exasperated tone in his voice but worried that he was probably smiling too much to pull it off. “Don't you have winter in Soul Society?”

“Well, yeah, but it's not so-” Renji began, gesturing with one hand as if trying to explain.

“What? So cold?” Ichigo interrupted, turning away because he knew he was smiling more widely now.

“Well of course it's cold, it's just that it's windier here, or something...” Renji trailed off, obviously trying to figure out how exactly Soul Society was superior to the living world in that respect.

“Relax, would you?” Ichigo growled with mock annoyance. “We've only got another block to go before we get there. I figured we'd better go someplace close so that I wouldn't have as far to drag your drunk ass back to my place once you're half gone later.”

Renji stared at him, eyebrow raised. “Oh, so you think you can out-drink me, do you? Bring it on, Kurosaki!”

Ichigo couldn't help but laugh then, thinking that maybe the dreaded conversation wouldn't be so difficult after all.
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Renji looked around the bar from the vantage point of the booth in the back that he and Ichigo were sitting in. He nodded to himself, surveying the mixed-age neighborhood crowd and the laid-back atmosphere of the place. When Ichigo had suggested this, he wasn't sure what to expect and wondered if maybe they'd end up in one of those clubs that he'd heard Ichigo and his friends talk about before, but this was a lot more like what he was used to.

He took a sip of his second cup of sake and watched with a raised eyebrow as Ichigo poured his third drink. His attention wandered for a moment as he thought about how he'd come to be here today, because Renji still wasn't exactly clear on how it had happened. He'd been working on some paperwork yesterday afternoon, as usual, when he had glanced up and realized Kuchiki-taicho was giving him a look. Renji still couldn't say, after working for the man as many years as he had now, exactly what those looks meant, however. They usually seemed to have a good bit of annoyance in them, but today Renji thought he also detected small amounts of something else as well. He hadn’t had time to think about it then, however, as he’d heard, “Abarai-fukutaicho. I want you to go to Karakura in the living world for the next two weeks. Please check on the situation there, including the shinigami stationed there and the substitute and his associates. Report back to me on what you find, and I will give you further instructions based on that.”

Renji had nodded, a little confused because he'd heard that things in the living world had been pretty peaceful lately, and had moved to finish the sheet he'd been in the middle of writing, but Kuchiki-taicho had waved his hand. “Just leave it, Abarai-fukutaicho; I'll get someone else to finish that. I'll expect you to report to the living world within the hour.”

After that, he'd bowed and gotten the hell out of the office because his boss' words had meant that he only had about half an hour to get back to his place and pack anything before he'd be expected at the gate. After coming through to Urahara's shop and scowling at being greeted as 'Freeloader-san' yet again, Renji had gone over to meet the stationed shinigami in Karakura. He'd thought the man's name sounded slightly familiar upon hearing it, but when he’d arrived, Renji realized that they'd been classmates at the academy. Unfortunately, it hadn't been a good realization since Renji remembered that the guy had a habit of cornering people and talking at them until they were forced to run for their lives hours later.

He'd made it out of the flat as quickly as he could by saying that he had to get back to Urahara's to pick up his gigai right away, and practically jumped out the window in his eagerness to leave. Of course, then he’d had to deal with the mad shopkeeper, but Urahara had seemed very pleased when Renji had returned, to the point that he wondered if the shopkeeper had somehow known what was going to happen. Much later that night, sore from cleaning the store from top to bottom, Renji lay on the futon in one of the small back rooms that Urahara had made available for him, thinking that he had to come up with somewhere else to stay or he'd need a vacation when he went back to Soul Society.

He’d got up very early the next morning, well before anyone else, and was pleased to be able to raid some leftovers from the refrigerator before he went out to patrol the town. Renji’d found a few lost ghosts that he able to give a soul burial to, and after a few more hours of wandering around, he’d dispatched a rather pathetic-looking hollow that he’d spotted. He’d ended up feeling a little guilty when it just tried to flee in terror instead of attacking him, but the incident was over way too quickly to think much about.

Late afternoon had found him by the river, in one of the spots he'd seen Ichigo before. He’d eventually began wondering how the substitute was doing, and belatedly remembered that part of his assignment had been to check up on Ichigo and his friends. When he’d called, Ichigo answered tersely, but then his tone of voice had changed when he realized who it was.

“I'm here in town for a couple of weeks, so I was thinking maybe we could hang out,” Renji’d said, hoping against hope that Ichigo would invite him to stay over.

There had been a pause over the line then, and finally Ichigo had responded, “Sure, we should. Do you want to go out for some drinks tonight?”

Renji had laughed in response. “I thought you're too young for that kind of thing, Ichi.”

“Idiot,” Ichigo had replied, the annoyance evident in his voice. “I'm old enough as of six months ago, Renji.”

Six months ago, Renji had thought, frowning as he wondered why it dimly reminded him of something. Oh, Ichigo's birthday party, he’d guiltily realized, as he remembered showing up late and having forgotten a gift but being welcomed nonetheless by Ichigo and his friends. The kiwi lime cake that Orihime had made had actually been delicious, he’d remembered, thinking that she seemed to have gotten the hang of combining things; in the past he’d figured that she probably would have included celery, cabbage, and maybe cucumbers as well, since they were all about the same green color.

So, he'd agreed to meet Ichigo for drinks and ended up here. He looked around again and felt a little smile on his lips as he took another sip of his sake. A moment later, he gazed across the table as Ichigo addressed him.

“Hey, Renji,” Ichigo said, his words a little unsteady, and squinting a bit as he looked Renji in the eye. “I want to know. What the hell is your problem? The last few times I've seen you, you've looked like someone shot your dog or something. What are you so down about?”

He felt a response on his lips that had begun to come easily to him over the past few months, something he'd said when anyone had come too close to asking him about what had been bothering him. Don't worry about me, everything's fine. Before he could say a word, however, Ichigo was glaring at him, a little blush on his cheeks from the sake he'd drunk so far.

“Don't give me any kind of crap about how you're OK, idiot. I can see that you're not, and don't give me one of those fake smiles. Just tell me what the fuck is wrong.”

Ichigo's bluntly accurate assessment shocked Renji a bit, and he finished his second drink as a way to excuse himself from having to say anything while his brain worked overtime. Probably everyone else could tell, too, Renji found himself thinking as he lowered his cup to the table and tried to think about how he was going to respond.

Why not talk about it? He was wondering if the alcohol had started to soften his brain, even though two drinks hardly affected him at all these days, but it did cause Renji to think seriously about the idea. He hadn't talked with anyone about it at home, mostly because all of his friends were also shinigami and so it would have been a bad idea to discuss with them. Ichigo...well, he was a shinigami, but it wasn't like he was in the normal chain of command or anything. And, much as Renji would never admit it to anyone, he'd found Ichigo to be trustworthy. If he agreed to do something, he would make whatever effort he could to keep his word, even if the agreement itself was unreasonable. He chanced a look at Ichigo, who was scowling at him and now pouring a fourth (or fifth?) drink.

“Answer me, bastard,” Ichigo said, his words slurring even more now.

Renji felt the edges of his mouth quirking up into a grin, but tried hard to stop it. It wasn't difficult when he started thinking about what had been bothering him, and he found himself sighing briefly before he finally began to speak. “Fuck, Ichigo, you're pretty fucking nosy, you know that?” he began, and he was glad to see his friend grinning unsteadily as he looked over. “Anyway, it's really...fuck, it's really stupid.”

“Just spit it out, idiot,” Ichigo growled, moving unsteadily as he took a sip of his sake.

“All right, you nosy bastard, as long as you don't tell anyone and don't complain afterwards,” Renji replied, taking another sip of his own drink to steady himself. “I probably don't need to tell you the way I felt about Rukia, because I know I acted like a fool about it for a long time.”

He looked over at Ichigo to make sure his friend seemed to know what he was talking about, only to encounter a look on Ichigo's face that was curious yet somehow discouraged at the same time. After a few seconds, Ichigo responded, “Yeah, everyone knows.”

Renji shook his head with resignation, figuring that was probably the truth, and continued. “Well, a while ago, I figured things had gotten to the point that Kuchiki-taicho would probably allow me to date Rukia without trying to kill me, so I was determined to let her know how I felt. But somehow, whenever we were together and I tried to talk to her about it, she’d change the topic or suggest doing something else and I’d get distracted. I'd gotten together with her several times just to tell her, but somehow I couldn't make it happen.

“So, one afternoon I invited her out to see the cherry blossoms. We brought a picnic and everything, and I told myself I was going to let her know that day. It was sunny and clear and the trees were beautiful and we found a great spot in the middle of them to sit. We just watched for a little while and then at one point I turned to look at her. I remember seeing her against the falling petals; she was saying something and smiling and it made me think how beautiful she was. But when she turned to look at me and I opened up my mouth to speak, I found I couldn't say anything because of the odd expression she had on her face. She'd given me that look lots of times before, but I’d finally realized what it meant. Rukia's always been good at figuring out how to act around other people, but I'm not as good as she is at watching what people do and learning from them. The look she was giving me was the one she’d given me when I was about to do something stupid at a formal dinner, when I’d been about to open my mouth and say the wrong thing to the wrong person, when I’d worn the wrong things to the wrong event. I knew then that she already knew, and that she didn't want me to tell her so that she'd have to turn me down.”

Renji poured his third drink then, and when he chanced a glance at Ichigo, the younger man was staring down into his sake cup, his expression hidden. “Go on,” Ichigo said, his voice gruff.

“Well, there's not much more to say. I made some lame excuse to Rukia a little while later and left and I honestly don't remember the rest of what I did that day. Since then I feel like I'm just...going through the motions. It's been months now and I do everything I used to, I just don't know why I'm doing it anymore. I keep thinking I should probably have at least said what I wanted to say, but I don't know anymore. Fuck, I'm such an idiot.”

Renji just stared down at the tabletop then, not really seeing anything in particular and wondering how things had possibly come to be this way. He snapped out of it a few moments later when he sensed some movement across the table and then watched Ichigo unsteadily slide out of the booth seat opposite him and then lurch over to his. Renji slid down the seat as Ichigo landed beside him and pushed the table away from the two of them, the sudden movement slopping sake out of their cups to pool on the tabletop. They looked at each other for a few long seconds, Renji knowing that the confusion he was feeling was written on his face, but studying Ichigo's dark eyes and flushed cheeks. In an instant, everything moved and now Renji was conscious of the warmth of Ichigo straddling him and of warm puffs of air on his lips.

“Yeah,” Ichigo finally replied, his voice low and dark, “you really are an idiot, Renji.”

And in the next moment, Renji could do nothing but blink in surprise as Ichigo grabbed his shirt to bring the two of them together and then a hot, soft mouth was on his own. He was so surprised that he'd kept his eyes open, and now watched Ichigo in extreme close-up. His eyes were jammed shut with his eyebrows drawn together, and something about the expression caused a slow heat to start up in the pit of Renji's stomach. A little while later, Renji's mind started to wander around to thinking about just who was kissing him and what he should do about it when a couple of things happened that completely distracted him. Ichigo's head tilted to press even closer and Renji felt a hot tongue against his lips, brushing so lightly and tentatively that it sent a shudder down his spine and he automatically gasped a little, opening his mouth. The moan that Ichigo tried to smother in his throat as Renji moved sent an almost brutal rush of heat through the redhead's body, reminding him of just how long it had been since he'd been with anyone. Before he knew it, he was practically growling and his hands were at the small of Ichigo's back, pushing them even closer together. The sounds Ichigo made then, muffled by both of their mouths, just made things worse. After a few minutes, when they had to separate for breath, Renji found himself opening his eyes, even though he didn't want to, because something felt off to him.

Oh, right, he thought, wanting to kick himself. We're in a bar. When he looked over Ichigo's shoulder, he noticed that a few of the men at a table not far away, crowded with a bunch of guys out for a night of drinking, had noticed them. As he looked back at Ichigo, the table of now probably hostile men shrunk in importance momentarily as Renji caught sight of Ichigo's flushed face, dark eyes, and kiss-swollen lips. Ichigo leaned forward again as if to pick up where they'd left off, but Renji put a hand on his chest.

“Ichigo,” he said softly, “we've got to get out of here. Come on, let me take you home.”

The disappointed, shamed expression on Ichigo's face as he looked away caused Renji's chest to constrict momentarily, and he found himself speaking up again. “Idiot. We've got to leave because we've drawn an audience.”

Expression changing to surprise, Ichigo quickly glanced over his shoulder before Renji could stop him, and was rolling his eyes when he looked back. “Come on, get your coat,” Renji urged him.

Ichigo moved a bit unsteadily, but Renji made sure to stand slowly and to look as large and intimidating as he could manage while scowling in the direction of the men who'd been staring at them. Suddenly, all the guys sitting at that table found something else to pay attention to as he and Ichigo quickly paid their bill and left.

The cold wind outside made Renji gasp as it tore past them, and the icy chill seemed to clear his mind a bit, to the point that he began wondering what the hell he'd been doing earlier with his much younger friend who was obviously drunk and whom he'd never suspected liked guys before a few minutes ago. He found he couldn't really get much further with those thoughts, however, since Ichigo had somehow slipped one of his hands underneath Renji's coat and was currently groping whatever he came in contact with.

Renji finally grumbled, “Could you at least wait until we get back to your place before you try to feel me up?”

Ichigo looked up at him then, eyes so dark that they seemed to reflect the night sky. “Oh, so you want me to feel you up when we get there?” he asked, giving a drunken smirk.

After mentally reviewing his words, Renji couldn't help but give a snort of a laugh. Instead of answering Ichigo's question, however, he asked one of his own. “So, what brought this on?”

Apparently, Ichigo was drunk enough that he had to reflect on his answer before he could respond, so Renji tried to hide his smile as he watched Ichigo, walking somewhat unsteadily but carried smoothly along by the arm that he still had wrapped around Renji, as the younger man cocked his head in what seemed to be deep consideration. Finally, Ichigo responded, “Well, because I was being sort of a shitty friend, I guess.”

“What?” Renji was totally lost now, frowning at Ichigo and wondering what the hell he was talking about.

“I was listening to your story, really,” Ichigo continued, “and I'm sure it felt crappy to realize that Rukia just wanted things to stay the way they are between the two of you, but I can't say I'm sorry.”

He looked defiantly up at Renji before he spoke again. “I'm not sorry because for the first time in all of the years I've known you, you weren't going after Rukia. You're free, so I wanted to, I had to-”

Ichigo cut off what he'd been saying then, biting his lip, and the bright flush that took his face over didn't seem to have much to do with the alcohol he'd drunk. Renji couldn't help but grin down at Ichigo, thinking he looked kind of cute with that blush plastered on him, but his words were what gave the redhead pause. It doesn't sound like some spur of the moment thing, Renji thought. It sounds like maybe Ichigo’s been interested for a while and I never picked up on it.

“Come on, let's get inside,” Renji finally said as they reached Ichigo's apartment building, questions and thoughts still swirling in his head. “It's freezing out here.”

Renji finally ended up opening the front door himself because Ichigo kept fumbling with the keys. He credited Ichigo with having enough self control to wait until the door had swung shut, but once it was closed, Renji found himself pushed up against the wall in the small entrance hall as Ichigo sought out his lips again. What Renji didn't expect was the incredible heat that hit him almost like a fist in the gut as he felt Ichigo press up against him again, so hungry and needy and fuck, Renji growled when he realized the way Ichigo was rubbing against him, realized Ichigo was already hard for him. He shifted position slightly to move one of his legs between Ichigo's, and hearing Ichigo's cry of pleasure a moment later when he ground himself against Renji's thigh was really just too much.

Renji quickly switched their positions then, pinning Ichigo to the wall and taking a moment to look his friend up and down. Ichigo was flushed through a combination of desire and alcohol, his lips open, wet and welcoming, his eyes dark and his chest heaving. Renji couldn't help letting one of his hands wander lower and slowly trace the bulge in Ichigo's jeans with his fingertips. As he watched, Ichigo bucked his hips forward and his head ground back into the wall as he arched his neck up and gasped, finally calling out Renji's name.

Feeling his own breathing pick up at that desperate sound, at his name being called out like that, as if he was the only thing in the world Ichigo wanted, Renji felt as if he was going to lose control as well, and so he forced himself to keep his distance, watching his friend. He couldn't seem to stop himself from speaking, however.

“What do you want, Ichigo?” he heard his own voice saying. Renji knew it had been a long time since he'd heard himself speaking in such ragged, low tones, and the heat he felt as he watched Ichigo shiver as he talked made him want to bite his friend and ravage him until they were both satisfied. He hadn't ever really considered how Ichigo would look in a situation like this, mostly because he was such an idiot and a friend and because he'd been so young when they met that Renji had just gotten used to thinking of him as a kid (and, hell, calling him that, due to Ichigo's reaction, had always been way too much fun). But now, staring at him openly as he writhed in Renji's hold, trying to grind against the redhead again, the way Ichigo moved and his delicious blush as he looked away was bringing up ideas Renji had never associated with his friend before.

“I want you to fuck me,” Ichigo mumbled, the blush now moving down his neck a bit, and Renji couldn't prevent himself from moving in to suck on that heat, feeling his groin throb impatiently at Ichigo's grunt when he bit down a little.

Renji tried to even out his breathing as he pulled back, working hard to slow down as he reminded himself of everything that had happened so far that evening. Kissing Ichigo deeply, Renji could still taste the sake his friend had drunk earlier.

“No,” he replied, even though it was difficult to pull away from that mouth. “You're drunk. I'm not so much of a bastard that I'd take advantage of you like that.”

Renji bit back the urge to laugh as Ichigo looked up at him with an expression somewhere between a murderous glare and a pout. “Renji,” he began, only to be cut off by the redhead.

“I didn't say we couldn't have any fun, all I'm saying is that I'm not going to fuck you until you can ask me that nicely while you're sober,” Renji said, now definitely unable to stop from grinning.

“You are a bastard, you know that?” Ichigo grumbled in return, but Renji liked the change in his friend's expression: still annoyed, but with a lot of hope and interest mixed in as well.

“Really?” Renji asked, feeling his eyelids slide half closed as he met Ichigo's dark gaze. “Let's see if you still feel the same way later on.”

He released Ichigo then and watched as his friend stood against the wall, still flushed and breathing heavily. Renji bit his lip for a second before saying, “Take your clothes off, Ichigo. I want to see how you look naked.”

He smiled slyly at Ichigo's look of discomfort and heat, delivered quickly before he ducked his head. “You've already seen what I look like with nothing on,” Ichigo replied, but took his coat off nonetheless.

“Yeah, but never like this.” Renji recalled brief glimpses at the healing spring, or on the other few occasions they'd ended up changing at the same time, and wondered if Ichigo had been looking at him the way he was now. He figured it was impossible because he would have felt the heat burning through him then, as well.

“Take yours off, too,” Ichigo replied, the sound muffled as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Fingers seeming to move by themselves, Renji unbuttoned his coat as he watched Ichigo slowly unzip his jeans. He'd already taken off his own shirt by the time his friend was able to fumble through peeling the tight pants off, but the grin that had been on Renji's lips died as he saw the look of wonder and heat and need Ichigo gave as he saw that the redhead was now half-naked. A shudder ran through him as Ichigo reached forward to grab onto him, to suck and lick on the tattoos on his chest and neck. Fuck, it had been a long time since Renji could remember being wanted like this, and just seeing Ichigo half gone, flushed and hot and needy, made him want to see a lot more. He hissed as Ichigo shifted and he came in contact with the cold wall.

“Come on, Ichigo, into bed,” Renji growled, dragging his friend along with him.

Ichigo sat heavily on the bed once they got there and pulled the covers back a bit, but Renji stopped him from crawling under them. “Take your shorts off, too,” he said, and suddenly the room felt a little less cold as he watched Ichigo shiver as he spoke.

“You like hearing me talk?” Renji asked as he leaned in, close to Ichigo’s ear, and was rewarded with another shudder from the man under him.

“Yeah,” Ichigo replied softly, his face turned away as he pulled his boxers off, over those long, long legs.

Sucking in a breath, Renji quickly looked Ichigo up and down, wanting to push open those quivering thighs and wrap his lips around that twitching cock, but he held back for a moment. “Good, because I’ve got a lot to say,” he managed, his own voice so low and affected that it almost came out in a growl. “You look good, all hot and bothered like that, Ichigo.”

Ichigo's flush deepened again, and Renji almost expected a sharp comeback as his friend bowed his head, but when Ichigo looked him in the eye a moment later with a gaze so deep and dark it looked almost all pupil, Renji couldn't think of a good comeback, either.

“If you want to get into bed,” Ichigo said, shifting to pull the covers halfway over him, “you're going to have to get naked too, you know.”

Renji licked his lips then, wanting to cool Ichigo's blush down with his tongue, but instead he moved as slowly as he could, watching his friend's gaze become fixated on his actions. Once he'd unzipped his jeans, Renji languidly pushed them down past the curve of his ass and then let them fall the rest of the way to the floor. Ichigo's expression was so much fun to watch, especially the brief moment of disappointment when he realized Renji was still wearing his underwear. He couldn't help but smile at Ichigo as he stood back and hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his navy briefs and then bent forward at the waist, his now loose red hair falling down like a curtain as he pulled the briefs down his thighs, stepping out of them as he stood up again.

Definitely worth it, Renji thought as he smirked at the delicious look of surprise and desire on Ichigo's face. He started to move forward, to reach for the tattooed redhead, but Renji moved first, pushing Ichigo back into his bed and climbing into it as well. Renji rolled over then, pinning Ichigo to the bed under him and then quickly grinding their groins together when he felt Ichigo's cock against his own.

Ichigo's sharp little cry was intoxicating all by itself, seemingly drawn out involuntarily, but quiet enough that it sounded like he had control over it and was trying not to disturb the neighbors. Renji could feel the savage grin that almost split his face then, as he considered the challenge of making Ichigo scream uncontrollably for him.

“So, what do you say, Ichigo?” Renji asked, murmuring into his friend's ear, and he had to bite down on a gasp as Ichigo closed his eyes, breath ragged, and turned his head to hear better. “Do you want me to make you come so hard you'll never forget it?”

When Ichigo nodded quietly, Renji couldn't help but gasp at the fire that flowed through him. “Good,” he managed after a few moments, “because you look so fucking hot right now, I've got to see what you look like when you do come.”

“I want to see you, too,” Ichigo replied, his eyes flicking open to meet Renji's and his voice soft and low. Relishing the hard jolt in his stomach that he felt when those dark eyes met his, Renji bent down to kiss Ichigo again, and the response he got was nothing short of desperate.

“Fuck, yeah,” he rumbled moments later, once he could speak again. “I don't know if I'd be able to hold back, Ichi. Has anyone ever told you how fucking sexy you look when you move?”

Renji chuckled at the renewed blush he got in response, and the shiver as his hands slowly moved down Ichigo's body. “I guess not. Whoever missed out on that is a fool, though, because just the way you're bucking your hips is making me hot enough to want to forget what I said earlier and fuck you through the mattress until you come hard enough that you can't see.”

Ichigo whimpered at that, or maybe at the sensation of the slow slide of Renji's hands along his sides. Renji had kissed his way down to the middle of Ichigo's chest, then flicked one of his nails over Ichigo's nipple and ground his hips down into Ichigo's as his friend shivered and bucked under the touch. Renji moved to suck and gently bite one nipple as he pinched the other, admiring the noises Ichigo made as a result.

“I could do this all night, you know,” Renji mused softly as moved his head back a bit, his fingers now sliding delicately along Ichigo's ribs. “You feel so damned good, and the way your body arches up into mine wherever I touch you is so fucking hot it's unbelievable.”

He looked down to see those dark, lustful eyes open again. Ichigo was panting and shaking underneath him, holding onto one of his arms so hard that Renji knew there'd be bruises there tomorrow, and he couldn't help but smirk since he hadn't even touched anything below Ichigo's chest yet.

“Dammit, Renji,” Ichigo panted, “you said you were going to make me come!”

“I will, I will,” he replied, trying to sound as relaxed as he could, his hands drifting lower on Ichigo's hips but still not touching where he knew his friend wanted him to.

Ichigo swore under his breath and grabbed one of Renji's wandering hands, moving it to his cock. Renji smirked and watched as Ichigo's eyes closed and breath hissed in as he closed his hand around his friend's cock and gave it a squeeze.

“Like that?” Renji murmured, bending close to Ichigo's ear and letting his hair fall forward to fan across his friend's cheek.

The only response he got was a wordless grunt as Ichigo's hips thrust forward, and Renji let out a hiss of his own as his friend latched onto the tattoos on his neck and sucked on them, messy, hard, and mindblowing.

“Fuck, that feels good,” Renji breathed when he was able to get his thoughts together again. “But stop distracting me. You've got to tell me how you want it, Ichi, so I can get you off. You want it harder, faster? You want me to back off?”

He stroked Ichigo then, slow and steady, and relished the catch in his friend's breath and the way his hips moved. “Faster,” Ichigo said breathlessly, his reply muffled by Renji's neck. “Hold me tighter.”

Renji picked up the pace and smirked at the noise Ichigo made as he tightened his grip. Moments later, Renji was trying to swallow his own cry as he felt Ichigo's hand on his own cock.

“A little faster,” Renji murmured and then shivered as he felt Ichigo stroking him strong and steady. “Yeah, that’s it.”

Giving Ichigo another squeeze, the redhead picked up the pace a little, moving his hand along Ichigo's length more quickly as it slicked up with pre-come. By now, Ichigo couldn’t seem to stop making noise, and every little gasp and moan just seemed to heat Renji up more.

“Do you have any idea how fucking hot you look right now?” Renji couldn’t help but growl into Ichigo's ear as he watched his friend writhe under him, hips lifting to fuck Renji's hand and muffling his moans behind a bitten lip. He was sure Ichigo was getting close now, and he sucked on his friend’s neck, then bit him lightly before murmuring into his ear, “I want you to let go for me, Ichigo. I want you to come all over the both of us, and I want to see the expression on your face as you do.”

He watched then as his hand raced over Ichigo's cock, drawing the orgasm out of him, watched Ichigo's body arch upwards and heard the helpless, loud cry he made as he finally came. Renji could hear his own snarl of triumph as he felt the wet, hot evidence of Ichigo's pleasure paint his own stomach, and then he gasped as Ichigo held him almost too tightly for a moment and murmured his name, over and over.

Renji stopped himself from thrusting into Ichigo's fist as he watched the other man's expression. He hadn't opened his eyes yet or stopped shaking, but the big smile on Ichigo's face was at once adorable and one of the biggest turn-ons yet, since Renji knew what put it there. Before he could comment, however, and before Ichigo's eyes were even open, Renji had to suck in his breath as his friend's hand started moving again. It was more deliberate this time, and Renji could tell that Ichigo had been paying attention to what he'd said earlier, because each move seemed just right. When Ichigo's big, dark eyes finally opened, the heat in Renji's gut seemed to sharpen and intensify, because sleepy afterglow, lust, and desire were all there, all directed at him. He tried to keep meeting Ichigo's eyes, but his own wanted to slip shut at the pleasure he felt.

Finally, Renji managed to grind out what he'd been wanting to say, although actually being able to form words was hard at that moment. “Ichigo. I want you to bite me.”

“Where?”

“Right there, where your mouth is by my shoulder.”

He waited then, his eyes now clamped shut due to the pleasure Ichigo was bringing him, his hips bucking into Ichigo's hand. Renji could hear his muffled shout as Ichigo's teeth sank into him, but he was too far gone to be embarrassed, or to do anything more than register it before a bright white light overtook everything.

His breathing seemed to be the thing that brought him back into reality. He was panting, Renji realized, his heart still pounding unnervingly, yet everything felt so amazingly good that he knew he must have an idiot's grin on his face. As he blinked a few times to focus, he could see Ichigo sprawled in the pillows underneath the two of them, his mouth open in a tired smile.

“Feel good?” Renji asked, as soon as he had enough breath to do so.

“Yeah. Real good,” Ichigo answered, his voice slurred, low and lazy and sounding like sex.

“Good. Maybe you won’t feel like punching me in the face tomorrow, then,” Renji replied, easing himself down beside Ichigo and leaning an arm off the bed to search around for something to clean the both of them up with.

Renji studied Ichigo’s face as he turned back, and even though his friend’s eyes seemed like they were trying to close, Ichigo managed to return his gaze. “Renji…tomorrow, I know I’m going to…” Ichigo paused then, and Renji wondered if he’d passed out, but somehow his eyes fluttered open again, meeting Renji’s with a serious look. “I’m going to try to…let you out of it, because I’ll figure you were drunk.”

Snorting out a laugh, Renji threw Ichigo’s now sticky boxers back on the floor. “A couple of drinks is hardly enough to get me going, much less drunk. You’re going to have to do laundry sometime soon, though.”

“You would have to grab my clothes, you idiot,” Ichigo muttered as his eyes slid shut again. “That’s not what I meant, though. You’re going to have to decide, Renji. What you want.”

He’d had to lean in close to hear the last of Ichigo’s words, and now as he looked down, it was clear that Ichigo was finally asleep, a small smile still on his face. Renji couldn’t help but give a little grin of his own as he quietly slid out of bed, headed for the bathroom.

A little while later, as he splashed cold water on his face, Renji caught his own eyes in the mirror and gave himself a long look before turning to dry off. More than anything, Renji reflected as he dressed enough to keep warm as he raided Ichigo’s refrigerator, he felt confusion mixed with a little disbelief. He found himself studying Ichigo sleeping as he sat at his friend’s desk devouring the cold noodles he’d found in a takeaway container. How could I have missed it, Renji wondered, but then quietly chuckled at himself as remembered how blind he’d been to anything else while he was chasing Rukia.

Renji’s breath hitched a moment later as Ichigo turned over, obviously searching for something, and murmured Renji’s name in his sleep. Despite the warm feeling in his chest, Renji found himself wondering what would happen next as he watched his friend settle back into sleep again, knowing that Ichigo was probably going to want more than just a drunken one night stand, but not sure what he was going to be able to provide. Did you have something else going on? another part of his brain seemed to chime in, making Renji snort mirthlessly as he considered his recent directionless life. As he thought about it a little more, these past few hours seemed to shine out like stars when compared to the dark blandness of his last few months.

Glancing back down at Ichigo as he slept, Renji felt a new rush of heat as he contemplated the slim, strong shoulder revealed where the covers had slid down, and Ichigo's open, wet lips. Renji looked away then, smiling at the feeling that not only did he have no regrets about what they'd done, it had felt right enough that he wanted more. He shook his head then as he got ready to sleep, stripping back down to his briefs and turning off the light before slipping back into bed beside Ichigo, who turned in his sleep to slip long, slender limbs around the redhead.

I think it's time to take a chance on something new, Renji thought, slipping off into sleep.
_________________________________________________________________

The overwhelming urge to empty his bladder was the only thing that managed to get Ichigo out of bed and stumbling to the bathroom in the dark. As he started to wake up a little more, he realized that he felt dehydrated and had the beginning of a dull headache coming on. It wasn't until somewhere in the middle of drinking from the tap and trying to find some aspirin that Ichigo finally started connecting the dots, ending with the realization that he was naked and still a little sticky.

He stared at himself in the mirror, trying to recall everything that had happened. He could remember everything clearly up to where he'd straddled Renji in that booth and kissed him, but after that, just flashes. Somehow, they'd made it back here and...oh, hell.

Ichigo turned the light in the bathroom back off as he remembered that he hadn't just been able to jump out of bed, and he slowly walked back into his bedroom as his eyes adjusted to the comparative dimness. He was easily able to pick out the head on his pillow using the stripes of orange streetlight that came in through the blinds, the person's face hidden by long, straight hair. The pattern of tattoos on the arm slung outside the covers was unmistakable, however, and Ichigo could feel heat rising in him again even as he looked. How many times have I imagined Renji in my bed? The sight for real was almost like a fist in his gut, and Ichigo struggled for his next breath, unable to help his little gasp as he heard Renji's voice.

“Hey, idiot, get back in here.”

Renji lifted his head to show one amused-looking eye. Ichigo hadn't realized he'd gotten so close, but he was easily grabbed by the tattooed arm that snaked out to pull him back under the covers.

“But, Renji-” Ichigo began reluctantly, figuring that if he'd pushed himself on Renji when the man was drunk enough not to protest, he should allow the redhead a way to back out, but he was interrupted.

“What, did you change your mind?” Renji said, and Ichigo couldn't help staring as the redhead sat up a little and the sheet slid further away.

“Fuck you,” Ichigo said nervously, not exactly sure why Renji looked so sly and flirtatious, and really not wanting it to stop it.

Renji sighed and held the edge of the covers up. “If you want more, you're just going to have to wait until I get a little more sleep.”

Ichigo's heart went into some sort of weird rhythm at the thought, so he figured lying down again might not be a bad idea. “You're such a moron,” he murmured as Renji pulled him close once he was in bed again.

Ichigo shivered because they were so close that he could feel Renji's chuckle reverberate through his own body. “Look who's talking. Just go back to bed, idiot.”

As Ichigo closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of the man he'd been dreaming about for a very long time, he somehow couldn't help but think that more sleep might not be a bad idea, even if it was Renji's.