Chapter Text
My time at the outpost I recall like a hound’s dream. As clear as the memory of my arrival stands in my mind, as obscure are the details of the days that followed immediately after. I recall Burrich, a constant amidst changing men and animals. The blustery wind on my face as I walked back and forth between the stables and the kitchens. And a visit, in the middle of the night, that would change the course of history forever.
I recall being roused from my sleep by the sound of a swearing man, and the jovial laughter that followed immediately after. In the light of a yellow flame I could see two men bent over me, and Burrich right behind them. Nosy snuggled closer against me, possibly sensing my discomfort.
"Stop your laughter, Verity. You’ve awoken him." A man I hadn’t seen at the keep before said sternly.
"I’m sorry Chiv, you’re right." Prince Verity said more soberly, a ghost of a smile remaining on his face. "But of all things to find in these mountains, I’d never expected to find your bastard."
The other man sighed loudly and kneeled in front of me. “He has my eyes as well. Damn it.” He cursed as he brushed my unruly hair back. I’d never before given any consideration what I’d looked like, but in the dim light of the lantern I could see a young man, darker skinned than myself but with hair as thin and black as mine.
I met his dark eyes with curiosity, but he averted his after a second. Instead he turned to his brother. “Verity, Burrich. He may be my bastard, but he’s not a beast and shouldn’t be sleeping among them. Was there no other place where you could’ve put him?”
Burrich, who had thus far seemed to me like a mountain that could never be conquered, suddenly looked rebuked. Verity seemed surprised, if anything. “What do I know of children Chiv? I’m a soldier, not a father. Me and Burrich, we did what we’d felt was right at the moment.” And true to his word, Verity seemed to be dressed as his soldiers save for the brightly stitched emblem on his chest. Next to his better dressed brother he seemed less of a prince. “Besides, we didn’t want the word to spread too far.” Verity added.
"To Patience, you mean."
"That is correct." Burrich answered from where he was standing stiffly behind the two men.
"It is too late for that." He said, and then he said nothing else. I remember that I’d never seen such a troubled face on a man his age before. I raised my hand to smoothen them out, and for a moment I touched the man that I would later come to understand to be my father’s face. His eyes widened and for a second I was privy to his deepest thoughts and emotions. As if burned, I recoiled my hand immediately.
Burrich stepped forward at my soft cry, but his eyes were on the troubled prince. “How is she coping?” He asked with a directness I’d later identify him with.
"I haven’t spoken to her. But Father skilled me last night that she has left for her father’s estate." Chivalry’s tone was even, but his eyes spoke of unspeakable sorrow. "With her sudden departure and the rumors of royal bastard already festering at court, it will not be long before all of the Six Dutchies knows of my mistake."
A look passed between Burrich and Verity. “What did father say?”
"He pretended to be angry." Chivalry smiled a wry smile, and stood up. "But the skill doesn’t conceal one’s true emotion and I could feel he was relieved. He never agreed with my marriage. When I told him what I intended to do, Father warned me ‘not to do what I couldn’t undo once I’d done it’, and send me to you. Like I’d have the boy killed." He scoffed that last part, but his words send a tremor of fear through the room. The dogs awoke and started barking, Nosy the loudest of them all. Burrich stood stiff besides the two princes, a frown on his face as well.
"Then, what were you going to do?" The uneasy question came from Verity.
Chivalry put his hands upon his brother’s shoulder and looked him straight into the eye. “Abdicate.”
"You can’t." The younger prince’s eyes grew wide with dismay, and at the time I couldn’t understand what such a difficult word could possibly mean in order to have such an impact at the normally ruddy young man. "You can’t do that to me, Chiv. I’m begging you!" His cheeks were flushed with desperation and his eyes were wide with fear.
"How can I one day rule over this kingdom and ask the people to behave with a good conscience if my own is not clean?" My father said gravely, an Verity looked even more troubled than before.
"I don’t think all will see it that way." Burrich protested. "Some men in the guard rooms even talk about the pup like he’s a good thing. They see you more like— more like a—"
"Like a man." Chivalry finished before he could. "Because I fathered a child before my marriage. Yes Burrich, I know well of how they speak of me. Or him for that matter."
The yellow lamplight lay a shadow over Burrich’s features. “I meant no disrespect, sir.”
"And I’ve already forgiven you, Burrich." The prince said sincerely. "Where would I be without your honest words at the end of the day? Maybe if you’d been there, years ago, this boy would not be here in the first place."
"Chivalry…"
The prince sighed again, and kindly turned to the stable master. “Do tell me what more they speak of in the guard room, Burrich.”
Burrich seemed to hesitate, but only for a second. “They laugh. Mostly after they’ve had some wine in them. And they say that you’re human after all. Some of ‘em look relieved, even.”
"But will the dukes of Bearns and Farrow also think the same?" Chivalry replied with the voice of a diplomat.
"With all due respect sir, but a negative opinion has never stopped you from pushing your goals before either. They’ll come around if you make them, I reckon." Burrich replied evenly, meeting his master’s eyes.
For a split second, a smile rested on the prince’s face as he regarded his stable master. Then, his visage turned stern and he seemed years older. “Regardless of what I have done in the past, Father has ordered that he’d be brought to Buckkeep. I intended to precede you to do what I must, but Father has forbidden it. Instead, I will travel back to Buckkeep with you.” He gestured at me while he spoke these words.
"And then?" Verity’s voice betrayed a deep fear.
Chivalry looked at me one last time and gently put the blanket in a way that it covered all of my small body. For a moment he was my father, caring and kind. And then it was gone as swiftly as it had appeared, and the frown took its place. “Only Eda and El know what happens next.”
After that, I remember nothing of that night.