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The starlight reflected off of the birdbath as Crowley passed it, causing him to look up and admire the sky. They twinkled and shimmered off in the distance, seeming to smile at him down below.
The air was warm as he sauntered through the garden to the side opposite the house where the grass stretched out, only ending when it reached the fence that divided their property from the beach beyond.
"I helped make them, you know." He said to Bentley, who was following behind him. He craned his neck to admire the many stars spread out above him. “Took quite a while.”
Meow
"Well I think it's quite impressive."
Crowley’s memories were foggy at best, gone at worst. But as his eyes flicked to each speck of light he whispered their names to himself. He can almost feel them under his finger-tips again, and the thought makes his very bones ache.
He pushed the thoughts and the resulting tears aside. They were on their own side now. It was fine.
Crowley reached his destination, a spot in the garden where his tall and proud looking sunflowers blocked any view of him from the study window. Not that he was hiding something from Aziraphale of course.
This was just something rather… intimate. It had been bad enough during Armageddon, and everyone then had been distracted.
"Now listen," Crowley began, crouching next to Bentley. "This is going to seem scary, but really it won't hurt you, I promise."
Meow
"Yes I promise. But maybe go play with a fern for a while, hm? Wouldn't want you to be startled."
Mroww
Bentley waltzed off, then broke into a run as she spotted a moving shadow to catch.
Crowley stood, smiling fondly after her. Once he was sure she was distracted he closed his eyes and drew his wings out slowly.
It was strange, feeling them, like missing limbs, returning to him.
If Crowley were to sit and analyze the reasons why he rarely brought his wings out, he would find insecurities and doubts, probably stemming from the years he spent comparing his own wings to Aziraphale’s.
Snowy and white, they nearly glowed, just like the Angel’s hair. Like his eyes and smile.
Crowley remembered what it felt like. The burning.
It was indescribable, but as vivid in the demon's mind as if it had happened yesterday. The seemingly endless fall, and then the sulfur. The burning sulfur.
It had blackened his wings as dark as any crows.
Crowley lifted them and moved, inspecting them and checking the feathers. To him they seemed to suck up the light of the stars and the small lamppost near the greenhouse.
He felt that same sinking feeling in his stomach that he had always felt after the fall.
Unforgivable.
As he turned again, something alerted him to eyes upon him.
"Bently?" He called, looking around.
"I'm afraid not my dear."
At the sound of Aziraphale’s voice he jumped, his wings drawing themselves inwards. Aziraphale didn’t need to see these tattered, ugly things.
"Crowley it's just me. It's alright." And there was Aziraphale, appearing in his line of sight now. He looked beautiful, and it made Crowley shrink a little further inwards, both literally and metaphorically.
"Sorry Angel. Just didn't expect you is all." He was happy to hear that his voice was steady and unbothered.
But his wings were still up close to his body, moving as he turned to face Aziraphale.
"It's been so long since I've seen them." The Angel said, trying to step closer. Crowley grimaced.
"You saw them during armageddon." He pointed out.
"Oh but that hardly counts. We were a small bit distracted. I haven't seen them properly since… well since the ark I believe."
Crowley stopped turning, trying to hide the jittery feeling in his stomach.
"Suppose that's true…"
Crowley wanted to say, ‘ugly things deserve to be hidden away’ but he refrained. He didn’t want to make this any more awkward. He was about to tuck them away again when he saw Aziraphale’s face.
"What's that look for?" He asked, a little ruefully.
"I just," Aziraphale’s eyes dropped for a moment then clicked back up. "May I see them?"
Crowley's stomach turned a little more.
"Why?"
"Please?"
And really, when has Crowley ever been able to deny his Angel anything?
Slowly his wings stretched out and Crowley shuddered a little as he got the first proper stretch since armageddon some months ago. He twitched them and let them move back and slowly forward, remembering the shift in balance and center of gravity they caused.
He kept his eyes closed as he stretched and shifted them.
When he opened them again he saw Aziraphale’s open, curious expression.
Crowley flushed a little, but tried to remain relaxed. He cursed himself for taking off his glasses, but there was nothing he could do about that now, they were in the house. And if he miracled them on now, Aziraphale would know he was uncomfortable.
Then again, Aziraphale seemed far too occupied with Crowley's wings.
His eyes ran over them slowly, tracing each line and curve. He seemed nearly revenant.
"May I touch them?"
At that Crowley frowned.
Why would his Angel, even a bastard angel, want to touch his burnt, blackened wings? They were tainted things, spoiled by the fall and the literally hellish conditions thereafter.
"I'm sorry if I'm overstepping my dear. They just look so beautiful."
Crowley flushed, his wings twitching slightly as his brain reeled from the praise.
"They're not." He murmured, trying to blink back the tears.
"What was that dearest?"
Dearest.
"Yours are pretty. Mine are… burnt."
Aziraphale took a step forward, hands at his sides.
"My dear, your wings are magnificent." His smile was far too open. Far too fond. "May I?" He raised a hand. Crowley hesitated, and Aziraphale must have caught sight of the stray tear sliding down the demon's face. “What is it my love? You-“
“I don’t want you to get dirty.”
It was so quiet Aziraphale nearly didn’t hear it, but they shocked him to his core.
He took a moment to compose himself, then moved forward until he could kiss Crowley gently.
“Nothing about you is dirty.” He said after they broke apart. “You don’t have to say yes my dear. But just know,” he placed one hand on the side of Crowley's face. “That you’re the furthest possible thing from dirty.”
Crowley closed his eyes and nodded once.
“Is that a yes, my love?”
Another nod, and another tear.
As soon as Aziraphale touched the very top of his wing Crowley shuddered and jerked in place. He could practically sense Aziraphale’s smile as the bastard put both hands on the very top, then touched a feather with one finger.
"They're beautiful."
The honesty and awe in his voice was too plain.
"Ngk."
Aziraphale made a small, soft noise, and Crowley opened his eyes, a few tears falling loose.
"They're not burnt my dear. They're… radiant." Aziraphale wiped away the tears with a gentle hand.
"Not."
"They are!" Aziraphale looked a little shy as his eyes moved over them again. "They're just as beautiful as the demon they belong to."
Crowley flushed as Aziraphales eyes met his again.
Aziraphale’s hands slipped into Crowleys.
"You're beautiful, dear boy."
Crowley kissed him.
Aziraphale indulged it, seeing it for what it was. An attempt to distract him from Crowley's emotions but when he heard Crowley's wings moving quickly he pulled away.
"Don't. Leave them out Crowley. Please."
Crowley shuffled a little, his stomach turning a bit as Aziraphale turned to look at them again.
"Why?"
Aziraphale’s hand moved up under Crowley's chin until their eyes met again.
"I’ll stop if you tell me no, I swear it. Do you trust me Crowley?"
Crowley's voice was hushed but firm.
"Yes."
Aziraphale kissed his forehead gently, then released his hands.
Aziraphale moved under and around Crowley's right wing, then pressed his fingers into the cotton of Crowley's t-shirt.
"May I?"
Crowley nodded, eyes closed and Aziraphale snapped his fingers.
"Oh!"
The sound emerged from Aziraphale without his control, and Crowley twitched once as his wings drew in, instinctively trying to cover up his back and shoulders.
"No! Crowley- Dear boy I'm sorry. I- that was a good 'oh'."
Crowley stopped moving and stood, tensed. Aziraphale rubbed a hand along his back, avoiding his wing joints. The Angel massaged his shoulders gently, then pushed one hand into the demon's hellfire hair.
"It's only me dearest."
Crowley relaxed a little, trying to settle his stomach and shut his brain up.
"They're beautiful."
Crowley relaxed further and let his wings shift, stretching out once more to their full span.
Aziraphale bent down, hesitated, then pressed a kiss to Crowley's back, on his spine.
Crowley's whole body shivered, his wings shaking like branches in a storm.
Aziraphale pressed kisses to many of the freckles splayed across Crowley's back and shoulders, but it would have taken him hours to kiss them all.
The Angel made a mental note to set aside a day to do so. Or perhaps two.
"My dear you're a vision."
The sound Crowley made was seared into Aziraphale’s mind upon impact.
It was a choked, near desperate sound, and it sent a shiver up Aziraphale’s neck. After a moment of hesitation he touched the demons wing joint gentlh.
Crowley's legs buckled and Aziraphale caught him with an arm around his waist., whispering softly in his ear.
"I'm sorry my love, it's alright. I'm sorry, I didn't realize it was so sensitive."
Crowley shifted to get his legs underneath him and shook his head.
"Aziraphale 's fine, m'alright. Jus' feels good. Real good."
They scrambled a little until Aziraphale righted them both, holding Crowley steady. Aziraphale could feel him twitching and shifting still, could see his wings shifting with the movements.
"I'm so sorry my dear." Aziraphale said, loosening his grip.
"Nh- please. Again."
Crowley was shaking like a leaf.
"My dear, I don't think that's wise. Yo-"
"Please."
Crowley moved backward and pressed himself against Aziraphale’s front, nearly tripping them both and causing Aziraphale to tighten his grip once more.
"Crowley, my love, you need to come here."
"Again, Angel please ple-"
"Hush my dear boy. He held Crowley still for a moment, then moved around in front of him. "I'm not going anywhere my love."
Crowley's eyes surprised him.
They were glassy, and staring back at him with a fond expression.
"Crowley, are you alright?"
Crowley nodded quickly.
"Promise."
He was shaking a little less now, but he still looked so… vulnerable. It made Aziraphale want to protect him from all the hurt in the world.
"Are you sure? I don't rea-"
"Aziraphale, it's ok if you don't want to. I- I just-"
"Oh my darling I do." Aziraphale took his hands once more. "You're just so sensitive. I don't want to harm you."
"Jus lemme lay down. I'll be alright, please."
"You poor dear. Let me."
Aziraphale miracled a (tartan) blanket in the grass and moved them towards it, helping the shaking demon lay down.
"That's it my dear. On your stomach. Perfect."
Crowley shuddered as his wings settled on the grass around him. Whether it was from the praise or the touch of the grass on his feathers, Aziraphale couldn't have said.
Aziraphale walked around his wings then sat next to him, leaning on one arm and letting the other trace over the edges of Crowley's wing joint.
Crowley groaned softly, one leg twitching.
Suddenly it hit Aziraphale like a truck.
After they had their post armageddon talk, Crowley standing there dumbstruck while Aziraphale confessed his feelings, Crowley had kissed him.
They had held hands and kissed a few times since, even the occasional snuggle on the sofa. And each time Crowley had shivered and moved a little closer, before carrying on as though nothing was wrong.
It had been bothering Aziraphale, but now he finally had an answer.
"Are you touch starved my love?"
Crowley shook his head, then shuddered as Aziraphale began to gently rub around the wing joint, and the Angel knew he was right.
"You are. I'm so sorry my dear. Let me make it up to you." Aziraphale leaned forward and gently kissed the skin in between Crowley's wing joints.
Crowley howled and squirmed as Aziraphale rubbed and kissed the spot gently.
"Sensitive indeed." Aziraphale murmured against his skin. "Does that feel good, my love?"
"Aziraphale please."
Aziraphale kissed and rubbed his fingers along and around where Crowley's wings met back.
"You're so beautiful my dear. The most perfect being created. The kindest, cleverest being I know." Crowley shifted uncomfortably.
"Aziraphale, 'f you keep that up imma do something you're not gonna like."
"My love, nothing you could do, short of sending me away, would be something I couldn't handle." Crowley was squirming a little and Aziraphale rested his whole hand on Crowley's back.
"Aziraphale I dont- you don't go in for this sort of thing, n i-"
"What sort of thing, my dear?"
Crowley shifted uncomfortably, and Aziraphale pressed two fingers to his right wing joint.
Crowley shifted again, and then once more. And for a second time that night, it all clicked into place.
"Oh, you exquisite creature."
Crowley groaned and shifted again.
"Is that what you were talking about my dear?" Aziraphale asked, pressing another kiss to Crowley's back. "Are you all hot and bothered?"
Crowley flushed and stopped squirming.
"Oh my love, you needn't worry about that my love. Certainly not about me." Aziraphale leaned forward and pressed his growing effort into Crowley's thigh.
Crowley groaned long and loud, shifting and grinding his cock down into a layer of blanket.
"Beautiful thing. Perfect, clever, beautiful, amazing thing."
Aziraphale pressed a kiss to Crowley's wing joints between words.
"Stunning, exquisite," Aziraphale nipped at the skin between the joints, "temping creature."
Crowley's hips moved faster.
"Are you going to finish in your pants my dear boy? Beautiful thing." Aziraphale let his hand move along the joint of Crowley's left wing, pressing gently.
Crowley flushed further but ground harder into the blankets, grunting as his cock hit the hard ground through the blanket.
"That can't be too comfortable my dear. Why don't I… give you a hand." Crowley groaned, and not in the same way he had before.
"Angel, that was ho-"
Aziraphale’s hand slipped under Crowley's hips and over his cock and the rest of Crowley's words trailed off into a groan.
"You were saying dear?"
"Aziraphale please."
Aziraphale’s hand slipped into Crowley's pants and pressed against his cock, right as Aziraphale pressed a tender kiss to the curve of Crowley's wing.
Crowley shuddered hard and came into Aziraphale’s hand, gasping, grinding and thrusting until his whole body trembled.
"Beautiful, perfect thing."
Aziraphale continued to press gentle kisses to his wing joints until Crowley was completely relaxed into the blanket.
The Angel slowly sat up, miracling them both clean and shifting to make sure he wasn't crushing any feathers.
"Are you alright my dear?"
A groan sounded from beneath him.
"Dearest are you alright?"
A small nodd set Aziraphales nerves at ease.
"Mmmhmmphmm"
"What was that dear boy?"
Crowley turned his head.
"S nothing."
His wings moved inwards and disappeared, and Aziraphale only had a moment to mourn their disappearance before he laid next to Crowley, trying to meet his eyes.
"It's not nothing, my love. What is it?"
Crowley didn't meet his eyes.
"Hold me?"
Aziraphale crooned and turned, pulling Crowley close to him.
"Of course my dear." Aziraphale couldn't resist the temptation to rub where his wing joint would be and Crowley twitched. "You really are quite beautiful."
Crowley shifted a little, but settled his face under Aziraphale’s chin.
They laid there for quite some time, just holding one another. At one point, Bentley laid down to join them, resting behind Crowley's legs. Eventually Crowley shifted to meet Aziraphales eyes.
"M sorry." His eyes were more settled, but Aziraphale frowned.
"Whatever for my dear?"
"Wanted to talk to you about it. Before anything happened. Didn't wanna go too fast. N it wasn't fair to you th-"
Aziraphale kissed his forehead and then his lips, and Crowley stopped talking.
"My dear, I want you in every way that you'll have me. You're my world Crowley." The yellow eyes were shining with unshed tears. "And you won't ever go too fast for me again."
Crowley blinked and kissed Aziraphale slowly, unwaveringly.
Aziraphale held him a little closer.