Archive of Our Own

“Let’s go back inside, we’re both soaked.”

Light looked up at the detective and nodded after a moment. “...Yeah.”

* * *

L tossed one towel from a nearby stack to Light and draped another over his own head. Light sat on the top step and quickly got to work drying himself off. L, however, was in much less of a hurry. Light had to be Kira, his little speech on the balcony nearly proved it. But...why was he acting so defensive? He gave a cold and calculated answer, nearly identical to an answer L had presumed Kira would give.

And L was never wrong.

Just as Light began toweling off his hair, L cautiously made his way towards the other man, settling about a foot behind him. He quietly sighed, preparing himself for the next few minutes. “That was quite an ordeal, wasn’t it?” he asked.

Light paused. “It’s your fault for being out in that downpour,” he muttered.

L raised his eyebrow but didn’t oppose him. “That’s true. I’m sorry.” A moment passed. Light shook his head and continued to dry his hair with the towel, whereas L simply continued to stare at Light. For once in his life, he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was going through his head at that moment. Was he angry with him? Was he tired? Was he plotting his death? Who could know, he thought.

The one thing L did know, however, was that the clock was ticking. His time was running short, almost as quickly as Kira’s patience. The detective knew he was hot on his trail, assuming he hadn’t already been surpassed. He also knew Light had to be connected to the entity, as did Misa. L furrowed his brow. It...none of it seemed right. Things were coming to a head far too quickly; it was inevitable in a scenario like this, but he didn’t want to die yet. He couldn’t. There was still unfinished business between him and Light that only L could resolve. He had to be the one to initiate it, as clearly, Light’s stubbornness wouldn’t allow for the conversation to start any other way.

L quietly made his way down the stairs, stopping just below where the other man’s feet rested. He crouched down and turned to look at Light, only to find that the younger man’s eyes were closed. Deep in thought, perhaps? Or was he so invested in drying his hair that he couldn’t even bother to observe his surroundings? L had learned early on that everything Light did, he did with precision, from constructing fake messages from Kira to investigating Yotsuba, even to something as mundane as drying his hair. In a word, Light was...perfect. He was a consistently calculated man, yet somehow, everything he did seemed effortless.

L would never admit it, but that aura of grace and elegance Light carried was something he’d always been envious of.

Returning his focus to the taller man, L knew he needed to break the ice—that ice being whatever tension was preventing them from truly communicating. He reached out and gently clasped Light’s foot between his hands, pulling it down to hold it against his bent knee. The instant there was skin-to-skin contact, Light let out a barely-there gasp. He dropped the towel he was using for his hair on the floor and shifted his gaze right into L’s eyes. What...what was he doing? What was this? L had never done something like this before, especially without explaining his thought processes.

L stared back at Light, but there was something different, Light realized. This wasn’t one of his hollow, foreboding gazes, no. This...there was something else. A warmth, maybe? A sense of wholeness? Humanity, even. Whatever it was, Light didn’t feel like L was judging or analyzing him. No—it felt like he was being admired. Light felt...vulnerable in L’s gaze. L wasn’t just peering at him; he was peering into him.

L didn’t look away. Neither did Light. The air had gone utterly still as the two men gazed at each other in this unorthodox, intimate moment.

“...What are you doing, Ryuzaki?” Light hurriedly asked. Light didn’t know what he was feeling right now, but he knew it wasn’t disgust. It wasn’t anger or humiliation, nor was it annoyance.

L didn’t seem fazed by the question. “I thought I’d help,” he offered earnestly. “You seem to be drying yourself with quite some fervor.” The corner of his lips curled up, just barely.

But it was enough for Light to notice.

Feeling his heartbeat quicken, Light narrowed his gaze. “It’s fine. You don’t have to do that,” he said, almost defensively. He didn’t know why L was doing this. He didn’t ask him to, nor did he expect it from him. What was he gaining from this? Was it just another way to make him nervous?

“I’ll throw in a massage,” L offered, unblinking. No, no, no. Absolutely not. Before he could answer, though, the detective continued. “Please, it’s the least I can do to atone for my sins.”

To atone for his sins? Light noticed the urgency in L’s gaze and couldn’t bring himself to say no.

“...Okay,” he finally whispered, managing to break eye contact.

The large, empty hall went quiet once more. Not a single sound could be heard, other than the occasional drip of water from L’s dark hair onto the marble staircase. L took this moment to shift his gaze from Light’s eyes to his feet—everything about this man was truly flawless. L took his own towel in hand and brought it up to Light’s foot, squeezing it dry.

Light winced and made a small noise, pulling his leg back. The towel was a bit rough and coarse, but it would have to do. “You’ll get used to it quickly,” L whispered, gently reaching for Light’s foot and pulling it back onto his knee. He paused before continuing to dry, though, seemingly distracted.

Light noticed L’s hesitation and watched as a few droplets of water pooled at the end of a particularly thick strand of black hair. They collected and merged into one large drop before falling, making the smallest plop as it landed on Light’s ankle. L still didn’t move. He appeared to be deep in thought, but what could he possibly be pondering at this moment?

Light felt his breath catch in his throat and, without thinking much of it, took the towel off of his head and brought it to that thick strand of L’s hair, gently squeezing it of the remaining water, before moving his hand to brush the towel against L’s wet cheek.

Yet L still didn’t move. His hand remained on Light’s ankle, noticeably stiffer than before. Light could hardly bring himself to breathe, fearful of shattering whatever delicate moment was unfolding here.

Finally, he placed his other hand on top of L’s hand. “...You’re still wet,” Light muttered. L swallowed, giving the smallest head movement possible. “Sorry,” he whispered, finally looking back up at Light.

His pupils were larger than Light had ever seen before. Unbeknownst to him, L was taking in all of Light, every detail of his face, every twitch of his nose, every blink, every breath, absolutely everything. Light could hardly move. L had him pinned to the spot with nothing but a look. This man was undoubtedly a genius, but with his intellect came a suffocating psychological power.

L took note of Light’s sudden halt. Was he doing the right thing? He knew this situation could go several ways, and quite frankly, he wasn’t completely sold on testing his luck. But this...this was no longer a situation that could be summed up by a mere statistic or percentage. This wasn’t a game anymore. This had now grown to become overwhelmingly and terrifyingly real to both men. But one question remained: who would push it further? Could it go any further at all?

L remained silent and instead looked back down at Light’s feet. Light’s hands remained on L’s; he was too uncertain of what would happen if he moved them. L seemed incredibly fragile, as though he could break at any moment. L brought the towel back to Light’s feet before muttering, “It’ll be lonely, won’t it?”

Light snapped out of his trance. “...What?” he asked, voice still barely over a whisper.

L placed the towel onto the step before clasping both of Light’s dry feet in his cool hands. “You and I will be parting ways, soon,” L said softly. He offered a small smile, a token of forgiveness for what was undoubtedly to come.

Light’s chest suddenly twisted. ...Why...what was he doing? He didn’t...how could he know? The young man’s mind began to reel with memories, regrets, thoughts, questions, longings. They would be parting ways soon, wouldn’t they? But this...whatever this moment was. It had changed something in him and forced him to see L differently. He didn’t—no, he couldn’t—let this sudden moment of mutual understanding dissolve into nothingness. He and L, despite being on opposite sides of the same coin, truly did work well together. Even after plotting his death for months, even after swearing to be the cause of this man’s final breath if it was the last thing he ever did, even after spending every waking moment fantasizing about his ultimate demise...Light couldn’t bring himself to imagine a world without L in it. He had given Light a new motivation, a new drive, a new purpose. Light had spent so many hours imagining all the ways this man should die, but here? Here, L was showing Light something so sacred, so uniquely human and vulnerable, that it was hard to believe it was the same man who’d imprisoned him for 50 enervating days. This man, who was sitting below him and washing his feet with the rainwater running down his chin, was the same man who was willing to have Light’s own father fake an execution to force a confession.

Saying that life had become more “exciting” since L appeared would have been the understatement of the century. Light did want to change the world, yes, but...at the cost of losing his counterpart? His strangely close companion?

...His friend? his mind filled in. His...friend. Light didn’t want to be friends with L. He did, but he didn’t. Rather, he did want to be friends, but he didn’t want to call it that. No, what they had was different. What they had was more exciting, new, uncertain, and turbulent. Light could easily imagine spending the rest of his days dancing around L, always attempting to stay one step ahead, only to find that L was right there waiting for him—of course, he would surprise the detective once more with a trick he’d had up his sleeve since the very beginning. This life-or-death game of cat and mouse had invigorated Light with a new passion for action, a new passion for analyzing and calculating others, a new passion for living. Who else could invoke such a raw passion for life itself?

Nobody. Light couldn’t imagine anyone else in L’s place, and suddenly the thought of holding the older man’s lifeless body in his arms made his blood run cold. Light could feel L’s heartbeat through his fingers, pumping and beating and proving that, yes, this man sitting before him was alive, real and true. The thought of L swaying and falling with a dull thud made Light’s stomach churn. He didn’t want to watch him die, not anymore. He was too real, too lively, too good.

L was good.

We’ll be parting ways soon, he had said. Light felt nauseous. He didn’t want to lose this newfound passion. He couldn’t lose this man.

“...But I don’t want to part ways, Ryuzaki.”

Light’s eyes widened, shaking his head gently before he could stop himself. Screw Kira, screw Misa, screw the Task Force, and screw his master plan. He didn’t want any of that now. Right at this moment, the only thing he wanted was to spend as much time as he could with L. Why did he do the things he did? Why did he say the things he said? Why did he make the decisions he did? What did he like? What did he dislike? What did he do in his free time? What made him tick? What made him smile? What made him laugh?

It had gone too quickly. How had it already been this long? Sure, Light was convinced that he hated L since the day he heard of him, but...it was different now. The L he had wanted to kill was a letter on a screen. The L now sitting in front of him was, by contrast, a person. A living, breathing human being. A striking young man with a sharp wit and dry sense of humor to match, a genius detective with so many years ahead of him, a beautiful man with a compassionate heart shrouded by walls that he had somehow managed to lower, one by one. Light realized that L was at his most vulnerable right now. He was letting Light see him at his rawest, most unfiltered state of being. Light felt as though he would be taking advantage of that vulnerability by letting the moment go to waste.

...He didn’t want to do it. Not now. He couldn’t anymore. Light mentally pleaded for Rem to show up, just for a moment. He’d tell her to call it off, to not write L’s name. And for that matter, she could forget about Watari as well. Misa was safe right now; there was no reason L or his closest caretaker had to die.

“Light?” L asked, tapping his foot a few times. Light let out a stifled breath, looking back at L.

It was now or never. His heart dropped into his stomach and lurched.

“...I can’t do it, L,” Light whispered, shaking his head once more. Light dropped the towel he was holding and crouched down to L’s level. He gently reached for the detective’s shoulders, dropping his head. “Please, L...I can’t do it anymore,” he mumbled.

He felt hot tears sting the corners of his eyes, a beat passing before two long arms wrapped around his shoulders. Light felt L pull him into his chest, but he didn’t push him away. L’s arms snaked underneath Light’s as he pulled the man into a rib-crushing embrace.

“Then don’t,” he whispered, his voice low. There was an urgency to his tone Light had never heard before, a different air of desperation. “You don’t have to write names anymore, Light. You don’t have to hide it from us. You don’t have to think about it anymore. Please, Light Yagami, you don’t have to kill me to win .”

Light’s heart squeezed. He didn’t have to kill him. L knew. And he was still here, hugging him. How could he show him this kind of compassion after all the lives he’d taken, after all the times he’d blatantly threatened him? It didn’t make sense, but it did make Light’s stomach churn harder. Overwhelmed, Light stifled a dry heave and hugged L back, burying his face into the crook of the older man’s neck. “I’m s-so…I’m so s-sorry,” he choked as the tears began to fall. Finally, slowly and surely, Light allowed himself to break down in front of L, fully and completely. L wordlessly held the younger man tighter as sobs began to wrack his body. “I ca—I can’t...I can’t do this...anymore,” Light confessed through tears and gasps. “I...I just wanted t-to make the world...a better...place. And I can’t...I can’t kill you, L. Please!”

Light pleaded to L, but also to Rem, whom he had sensed in the large stairwell below them. Light slowly opened his eyes and saw a blurry outline of the shinigami. He shook his head, muttered a small and directionless “please...don’t,” and buried his head into L’s neck once more. Light heard Rem hum quietly before extending her wings and exiting through the skylight. Good. He could deal with her later. Right now, his focus was on L and L alone. His skin was warm, despite the twenty minutes they had just spent in the pouring rain. Sniffing through gasps, Light could smell the lightest remnants of detergent and honey on his shirt.

L let his right hand travel up to Light’s hair, gently tugging at the strands closest to his scalp before pushing his head further down. Light stifled an even heavier sob as L ran his nails across his scalp in long, slow strokes.

“I’m—I’m sick of...of the lying…and the killing,” Light confessed. "It hurts. It h-hurts to hide all of the...the anger, the hatred, th-this...I don't wa-want to kill...anymore..." His face felt numb from how much he had cried in such a short period. He couldn't feel his nose or his cheeks. He could hardly breathe, but the clenching and pulling in his heart hurt far worse than anything else.

L offered a simple “mmm,” before gently pulling away. Light sniffed and swallowed hard before looking up at his prior enemy. The two men locked eyes as L, slowly and carefully, brought both of his hands to rest on either side of Light’s tear-stained face. The younger man closed his eyes, more tears escaping the corners. L brought a thumb up and gently swept underneath each of Light’s eyes, before brushing some hair away from his forehead. It felt wrong for a man this perfect and graceful to be crying so horribly—even after blatantly confessing to being Kira, it still hurt L to see Light in such a state.

“I forgive you, Light,” L whispered, gently taking a hold of the other man’s chin. “Can you please look at me?”

Light sniffed, obeying L’s request. There, crouched one step below him, was the man that he had sworn to kill for the past three years. But now, he was something more. Not a co-worker, no. Not a friend either; Light didn’t need friends, he could do just fine without them.

But L?

“...I need you in my life, Ryuzaki,” Light mumbled, grabbing a hold of L’s right wrist. He leaned into the hand still clasping his cheek and closed his eyes once more. He’d never been this open and emotional with anyone before—not even his parents. Letting L see this...this mess he had become, was far from the top of his list of things to do. But here they were. And here he was.

“Light, my name...I want you to know it,” L whispered, gently tilting Light’s head up. “It’s Lawliet.”

Light opened his eyes, blinking a few times before looking back up at the man in front of him. “You...what?”

“My name is L Lawliet,” he whispered, pinning Light's gaze with as much sincerity as he could muster.

Light was awestruck. He knew he was Kira, why would he tell him his real name? Did he trust him? ...No, could L ever trust Light? He’d mentioned before that Light was his only friend, but he had presumed that it was merely a tactic to pull at his conscience. But...telling him his real name? Revealing the very thing he had spent years upon years keeping from everyone?

Lawliet. It slipped off the tongue rather nicely. Law-liet, Law-liet, Law-liet . He could roll that name around in his mouth for hours.

“...It fits you, I think,” Light finally said with a teary nod. “It’s a lovely name, you know?” He took a deep breath, composing himself for something he never expected to say to the man. "I think...I really think you're a lovely person, Lawliet. I always have, and...I just don't know what to say. A lovely name for a lovely person, I guess. Fitting, huh?"

L’s face dropped ever so slightly.

“I...wait, lovely? You...did you mean to say that?” L stuttered, taken aback by Light’s boldness. The corners of Light’s lips turned up slightly, his gaze growing softer. L felt his throat tighten. What was he doing? Light had never looked at him like this before, let alone Misa. This seemed too genuine, too real, too warm to be an act. L wasn’t talking to Kira right now. No, he was talking directly to Light. This was the Light who had come out of confinement, the Light who had been hellbent on investigating Yotsuba. Something had changed; it had to have.

“Light...do you truly think of me as ‘lovely?’ And please, answer honestly - or rather, as close to honest as you can,” said L. He was scared it had merely been a slip of the tongue, but Light’s expression said otherwise. L felt his cheeks grow warmer under the other man’s eye. He felt completely exposed and defenseless - again, nobody had ever looked at L like Light was doing at that moment. At least, not in a context like this.

“Lawliet,” Light murmured, barely over a whisper. The sound of it sent a warm thrill down Lawliet’s spine. No one had said his birth name in years, let alone with such docility. “I do. I really do, and I think...I think I’m coming to terms with something, and I’m sure you feel it too." L swallowed meekly.

“Since we first met - hell, since I first heard of you - I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long, long time. When I heard there was someone out there challenging me, I felt...motivated. I felt inspired. I was confident back then, sure, but you turned everything I thought I knew on its head. Just by existing, you made me want to succeed in a way no one else did. And honestly, after everything we’ve gone through up to this point, I don’t think I want to live in a world without you in it. Or rather, by now, I don’t think it’s even possible. I’ve been so dedicated to catching up to you and taking you down since that first day, but now? ...Now...now I don’t think a life without you is worth anything, Lawliet. I realize my methods of attaining the goal I wanted were based on fear and not genuine goodwill, but I still do want to make the world a better place.

“Lawliet, I want to make it a better place with you. ”

L couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t blink. And for the first time in his life, his brain was completely, utterly blank.

“...It’s funny,” Light mused, laughing humorlessly, “how the man I swore to destroy became the man I needed the most. Tell me, Lawliet; what would you do if I were to die? Right here, right now? Do you think you could go back to your everyday life? Could you easily move on?”

Lawliet was paralyzed. Light’s gaze was so serious, so dark, so urgent, yet...so full of need. “Please,” Light whispered. The detective clenched his jaw, managing to shake his head.

“No, I...I don’t suppose I could.” It wasn’t a lie. Chasing after Kira had rejuvenated L’s love for his career, even when things seemed hopeless, even when drowning in a depressive slump. Because in the end, he knew he’d be successful. He always was. Now that Kira was sitting in front of him, though, Lawliet felt conflicted. He could easily call Aizawa or Matsuda and tell them what he knew, especially since there were no cameras installed in this part of the building.

And yet, he didn’t move a muscle. His eyes stayed focused on Light’s. Light’s dark, captivating eyes that made even the strongest-willed girls weak. He knew he had that effect on women, that he knew for certain. But...what about other men?

“You asked me earlier if I had ever told the truth since the day I was born,” Light interjected, regaining Lawliet’s attention. “If you’d consider it, I’d like today to be the true start of that...if you know what I mean.”

A small smile still graced Light’s lips. Lawliet could hardly hear the other man over the sound of his heart pounding. Never in one million years had the older man thought that he would end up with Kira—no, with Light—in this way. Slowly, as if to avoid scaring him off, Lawliet leaned forward. Not enough to make the other man uncomfortable, but just enough to breach his personal space.

Light absentmindedly followed him, shifting down to join him on the same step. Lawliet never broke eye contact - neither did Light. The two of them couldn’t be distracted by anything else, as if they were the only two people alive. They had come to some sort of mutual understanding, but even that was too weak of a word to describe it.

Light sat next to the other man, adjusting his position so that they were knee-to-knee, almost nose-to-nose. Lawliet wordlessly brought his index finger to Light’s bottom lip, letting it rest there.

“So you do think I’m lovely?” he asked. Light huffed a laugh, nodding softly.

“Of course I do.”

Lawliet hummed, pressing his finger down on Light’s lips gently, just enough to part them. “You know...I did always think you to be a rather attractive man,” L admitted plainly. There was no use for coyness or embarrassment; if Light was uncomfortable, he could leave at any time. And yet he stayed, even going so far as to lean in just a touch more.

“I could say the same for you,” Light mumbled, tilting his head slightly. “Your eyes have always struck me, but never in a way like now. You’re so... unique, and to lose you would be a loss that I don’t think the world could move on from. I know I couldn’t.”

L felt his heart flutter. “You...could I…?” he trailed off, pushing harder against Light’s lower lip. Light’s eyelids fluttered for a split second as Lawliet moved closer, feeling the soft, plush skin under his finger.

“Please,” Light breathed, closing his eyes. Lawliet exhaled quietly, moved his other hand to the side of Light’s face, and leaned forward. The two men were separated by mere centimeters, the tension thick enough to choke on. Light barely managed a nod, tongue darting out to wet his lips. Lawliet closed his eyes, pressing his lips to Light’s in a simple, sweet, feather-light kiss.

Light felt his heart swell. This felt so forbidden, so illegal, yet so, so perfect. This was what Light had been missing - this was what he’d been waiting for. The constant tension between them wasn’t from a place of anger, no, but rather from a place of longing. Those glances they snuck at each other that they swore were about “gathering information,” those gentle touches and smirks meant to “gauge reactions,” it was all bullshit. Sure, they’d wanted to get a rise out of the other, but not for the sake of the investigation. It had become more personal than that.

And Light did want Lawliet, in more ways than one. Knowing that he wanted him like that, too...it made his breath catch in his throat. Lawliet noticed a hesitation and pulled away, but before he could stray too far, Light’s lips were back on his. The younger man pressed a little harder than last time, and the other exhaled sharply through his nose. Of course, Light was an elegant kisser. Despite his heart nearly pounding out of his chest, Lawliet managed to restrain any impulses he felt to grab, tug, or feel up the other man.

That is, until Light brought a hand up to tangle it in Lawliet’s hair.

The darker-haired man shuddered as he inhaled, wrapping his hands around Light’s neck as he pushed him onto his back. He squeezed gently, enough to draw a low groan from Light’s throat. Light clenched his fist in Lawliet’s hair, forcing out what sounded like a whimper from the other man. Lawliet pressed further, more and more eager to feel Light, touch him, show him what he wanted, make him feel good.

Light pulled away and pushed gently on his chest, taking in a shaky breath. “Easy, Lawliet,” he whispered, pushing himself up to sit properly on the top step. Lawliet narrowed his eyes indignantly.

“You don’t want to keep going?”

Light’s eyes widened as he quickly shook his head. “No, no - trust me, I’m more than happy to keep going. I just want to make sure thi--”

Lawliet took Light’s hand, cutting him off. “You want to make sure this means to me what it does to you?”

Light hesitated, then nodded. “...Yes. I don’t want this to be some sort of...fling, you know? This...that meant something to me, Lawliet. I need to know if it meant something to you too.”

Lawliet wordlessly sat up, moved up the stairs to where Light was sitting, and sat directly behind him, facing his backside. “Light-kun,” he eased, drawing Light to turn around in his place. His back now faced the descending staircase, his eyes trained on the other man.

Both men sat facing each other with their legs crossed until Lawliet offered Light his hand. “Come here,” he said simply, patting his lap with his other hand.

Light felt his cheeks flush. “You...I-you want me to sit on your lap?” he asked. Lawliet nodded, patting his lap once more. Light managed a brief nod, getting up to straddle the other man’s hips before lowering himself to his knees. He hesitated, forcing himself to meet the other man’s gaze. Lawliet, one hand still holding Light’s, brought his other hand to Light’s hip. He squeezed gently, coaxing Light down to sit down all the way.

There was maybe a foot of space between their faces, but it was enough to make both of them feel light-headed. “Light,” Lawliet whispered, gripping either side of Light’s hips.

“...Lawliet,” Light mumbled, holding onto the other’s shoulders. Slowly, without breaking his gaze, Lawliet moved his hands down Light’s hips and squeezed, eliciting a shaky breath from the younger man. That sound traveled straight from Lawliet’s ears down to his stomach, instantly warming his lower half.

“Light-kun,” he hummed, squeezing again. Neither of them could manage to look away, both feeling hot and flustered. Light swallowed audibly, adjusting his position so that his knees were fully on the ground. The majority of his weight, however, remained on Lawliet’s lap.

L scooted forward and pulled Light closer, desperately trying to ignore the brief friction between them. Light felt warm everywhere, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could go on like this. “...Lawliet...you have to know how much I need you,” Light murmured, shifting his weight to press harder against Lawliet’s hips. L choked out a gasp, dropping his head against Light’s shoulder. That time, the warmth traveled straight down without hesitation.

“...Do that again,” Lawliet croaked, pressing his forehead into the base of Light’s neck. He’d never done this with anyone before - he didn’t know how to control himself.

Light, slowly yet intently, rolled his hips against L’s. He felt the older man shudder and grip his thighs harder. Both men were unsuccessfully attempting to stay as quiet as possible, trying their best to keep their arousal under control.

“Again,” L whispered, all but keeping himself from groaning on the spot. Light sighed quietly, grinding harder against what he believed to be the bulge in the other man’s pants. Lawliet gasped, stifling his moan by burying his face in Light’s neck. Light held the back of L’s head, pressing it into his shoulder as he began to roll his hips at a steady pace. Both men were panting softly, desperate for more contact, more skin, more friction.

Light groaned as L helped him move, lifting his hips and pushing him back down in all the right places. Fingers moved in L’s hair, dragging and pressing from the base of his neck to the top of his skull. He huffed as Light ground against him, hard jeans against soft pants, the younger man whispering barely-there sweet nothings into his ear.

“ I never knew how much I needed you, Lawliet. ”

“ You feel so good, Lawliet .”

“ I want you, I want you so badly, Lawliet.”

“Please...please, Lawliet...please... ”

L could barely stand it. He was trembling violently and he knew it; this was so foreign to him, this desire, this longing, this passion. Nobody had ever wanted him like this, as far as he knew. And for that matter, he had never wanted anyone like this either. All he knew for certain was that he needed more. More Light, more skin, more touching, more pressure, more, more, more.

“W-wait,” Lawliet choked, keeping Light from moving anymore. Light stopped immediately, bringing his hand to L’s chin and tilting it up.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, worry evident in his eyes. L offered a reassuring smile, nodding.

“I’ve never been better, I promise.” Light returned the smile, cupping L’s cheek. “I just...I’ve never felt like this towards anyone, Light. Nobody’s ever gotten me like this, but you have.” L held the hand against his face, leaning into Light’s touch. “You...you do something to me nobody else can. I don’t know how and I don’t know why, but I need more of it. I need more of you .”

Before he could say anything else Light surged forward, capturing Lawliet’s lips in a more heated kiss than before. He briefly ran his tongue across the other’s lower lip and was met with a breathy moan as L took his bottom lip between his own, eager to return the fervor. Light squeezed his eyes shut tight as he gripped the back of L’s neck with one hand, the other sliding flat down his chest. Any noise Lawliet made was swallowed by Light’s mouth, his tongue, his warmth, him.

As Light pulled away for a second to breathe, L snuck his tongue between his lips, sliding it along his teeth. Light shuddered out a moan, grasping at the back of L’s hair. He involuntarily rolled his hips, drawing another whine out of the older man. Fuck, he could listen to that sound for hours on end. How could someone so cold and detached be so warm and comfortable at the same time?

“ Please, Light...please...touch me, ” Lawliet whimpered. He sounded so helpless, so desperate, so needy.

Light smiled. “It'll be my pleasure,” he replied, removing his hand from L’s neck. Lawliet couldn’t help but whine at the disappearance of contact. “Calm down,” Light chided good-naturedly, using a hand to push Lawliet back. The older man followed him easily, lying flat on his back. “Look at this,” he scoffed playfully. “How eager are you, Lawliet? How long has it been since someone’s shown you this kind of attention?”

L shuddered a sigh. “Not...nobody’s ever...I haven’t--” He stumbled through his words as Light fully climbed on top of him, placing them nose-to-nose.

“ Lawliet,” Light started, breath hot on L’s lips.

“Are you...a virgin?”

There it was. The question he knew was bound to come. L sucked in a shaky breath, nodding. “It’s like I said Light, you...you’ve made me feel a certain way I’ve never felt before.” The corners of Light’s lips quirked into a suggestive smile.

“Good.”

That was a good thing?

“I would have felt embarrassed if I were the only inexperienced one here. Knowing that this is new for both of us…” he trailed off, seemingly distracted. L raised his eyebrows. “I just...I wouldn’t have this any other way. I want you and only you, L. I need you, in any way I can have you, and I'm so glad you're my first.”

As he spoke, L’s hands slid down Light’s back, over his hips, coming to rest right at the edge of his shirt. He ghosted his fingers over the skin just underneath Light’s stomach, forcing him to take a shaky breath in.

“You...are restless,” Light sighed, moving back to sit on his knees. He made quick work of removing his shirt, giving L a simple, “Off, now,” to push him to do the same.

L followed his request wordlessly, taking Light's shirt and tossing both to the side.

He was...surprisingly built. Oh, Lord.

“C'mere, ” Light muttered, pulling L into a hard, burning kiss. Partly out of desire, and partly because he knew he could ogle his bare skin for hours.

L sighed into Light’s mouth, pushing the younger man away to mumble against his lips, “You're rather demanding, Light-kun.”

“ Shut up, ” Light whispered, tangling his fingers in Lawliet’s thick, dark hair. “Just...hah,” he panted. He tightened his fist and pulled L’s head backward, gently but firmly, exposing his neck. L let his eyes flutter shut as he felt Light leave solid, warm kisses up the side of his throat. Dull teeth nipped at various pressure points before a warm, wet tongue soothed them immediately afterward.

Light began to focus right on L’s pulse point, alternating between soft kisses, gentle nips, and warm circles with his tongue. He felt the man start to squirm underneath him with pleasure, which assured him he was doing the right thing.

“How can— ohh, ” Lawliet started before cutting himself off with a deep groan. “...How can you say you’re in— yes, right there— inexperienced when you c— oh, Light— clearly know what you’re doing…?” he managed.

Light hummed into L’s neck, pulling away to blow cool air on the place he’d just warmed with his tongue. L gasped, allowing his head to fall forward. Light caught him before he fell all the way and helped ease him back down to lay down on the tile, straddling his hips.

“I just know what feels good to me, and I want to do whatever I can to make you feel the same way,” Light explained with a sheepish smile, trailing his fingers over L’s navel. The older man shook at the sensation, gripping Light’s hand in place.

“ Light,” L pleaded urgently. Light knew what he wanted. Hell, he could feel his desperation. If anything, it had only grown more visible. Light didn’t know how the other man’s fly hadn’t popped yet.

Light gazed at L with hooded eyes. “Tell me what you want,” he said, leaning down. “Guide my hand.”

Lawliet, still holding onto Light’s wrist, moved the other’s hand to the button on his jeans. “Here,” he nodded. Light took no time unbuttoning L’s pants, allowing L to do the same to him. There were now two shirtless and unzipped men, one straddling and looming over the other, both hot and bothered, both exceedingly turned on.

“You want them off?” Light asked, toying with L’s zipper. Lawliet nodded, whispering, “Yours too, please.” Light leaned forward to press a chaste kiss to Lawliet’s lips as he slid his hands into the other man’s jeans, pulling them down for him. L raised his hips, allowing Light to take them off completely. Light sat back to take his own off, tossing both articles of clothing to the side.

L gripped Light’s hips firmly, pulling the other man back down to him. “I need you,” he breathed, rolling his hips upward. Light shuddered as he wrapped one arm around the back of L’s neck, the other around his waist.

Pulling their bodies close, Light rolled over so that L was laying on top of him; chest-to-chest, groin-to-groin.

Lawliet leaned down and captured Light’s lower lip, sucking it, rolling his tongue around it, grazing his teeth across it, tasting anything and everything he could about the other man. He felt Light stiffen underneath him, pulling him in even tighter.

Light groaned into his mouth, moving the hand around L’s waist to squeeze his ass. L leaned into the touch, rocking his hips forward. Light jerked his hips up to meet Lawliet halfway, rubbing himself against the other man as their tongues swirled around each other in frenzied, burning passion.

“ ...Shit...shit…” Light panted, allowing his head to fall back against the tile.

“Could I— mmnh, Light— can I help you finish?” Lawliet asked, slowing his movements. Light nodded eagerly, pulling L into another quick kiss before letting his hands fall to either side of his head.

L sat up, gingerly tracing the edge of Light’s briefs—which, for the record, did very little to hide his arousal.

“ Please ...don’t tease me,” Light groaned. L chuckled quietly, muttering a small, “Alright.” Hooking his fingers underneath the waistband, Lawliet pulled down Light’s briefs in one slow, languid motion and discarded them to the side. As Light’s cock sprang free, L felt his heart drop.

Oh. He was big ...Light was big, big.

L felt Light’s hand come up and grip his hair. “ Lawliet...please,” Light whined. He looked like he was on the verge of tears. Did he want him that badly? L closed his eyes, holding the hand that was tangled in his locks. With his other hand, he began to gently stroke the other man. Light shuddered at the contact, barely managing to bite back a moan. “ More, ” he begged, tightening his grip on L’s hair.

“Be patient, Light,” L chided, locking eyes with the other man. Making sure he held his gaze, L lowered his mouth to Light’s cock, closing his lips around the tip. Light let out a shaky breath as L swirled his tongue around him, never breaking eye contact. Light nodded, encouraging L to continue. Lawliet slowly, slowly took the rest of him into his mouth, and oh, God, he got it all in one go. “D...damn,” Light panted as Lawliet bobbed up and down his length. It was so warm, so wet, so good, he already wasn’t sure how long he could manage to last.

Then, he went all the way down and swallowed. Hard.

“ A-ah, fu-fuck, ” Light moaned, throwing his head back. “ Ah, m--mmf, I’m already close Lawliet,” he breathed, moving his hand to the back of L’s head. But L didn’t stop. He just kept sucking, kept swallowing, kept bobbing. He was so, so warm. He felt his toes begin to curl, his hips involuntarily meeting L’s mouth halfway.

“ Lawliet, I’m—I’m close, I’m right there, Lawliet,” Light warned, feeling the warmth spread to his stomach. Was he going to swallow? He didn’t want to force him to, but it didn’t look like he intended on stopping any time soon. “ Please, Lawliet, I’m so close, I’m almost there, I need t—fuck, ah-fuck, FUCK,” he cried, pushing L’s head down as he bucked his hips up, cumming harder than he had ever cum before. Light threw his head back and clamped a hand over his mouth, muffling a rather vulgar string of moans. His muscles clenched as he felt L swallow around him one last time, taking down every last drop of ejaculate.

Before L could wipe his lips, Light pulled him down against him and kissed him as hard and passionately as he could. “Holy shit,” he breathed, kissing him again, “you,” kiss, “did so,” kiss, “fucking,” kiss, “good,” kiss. L brought a hand to Light’s cheek, stroking it gingerly.

“And I would do it again in a heartbeat,” he whispered, smiling at the man below him.

“Please, let me return the favor,” Light begged, slipping a hand into L’s briefs.

“Light-kun, you don’t need t— oh, o-okay .” Light cut him off by wrapping a hand around L’s length. He was just a tad shorter than him, but he more than made up for it in girth. Light pulled down Lawliet’s briefs with one hand, removing his other briefly to spit on it. In less than a second, his hand was back around L, squeezing his cock.

“Light... L-Light,” L sighed, pulling him into a sweeter kiss. The two passionately kissed as Light continued to stroke him, drawing short grunts and whines from the other man.

“How does it feel?” Light asked, rubbing his thumb around L’s slit, which had become slick with precum.

“ It feels so...so g-good,” L groaned, grinding into Light’s hand.

“ Are you close? ” Light asked, pressing a soft kiss to Lawliet’s forehead. All the other man could do was nod, screwing his eyes shut. Light began to move his hand even faster, intent on bringing him over the edge.

“Just like that, oh please, just like that,” Lawliet begged, dropping his head against Light’s shoulder.

“Come on,” Light pleaded against L’s ear. “Cum for me, Lawliet. You’re so close, you’re doing so well.” L whined into the base of his neck, his breath becoming more and more staggered. “Please, Lawliet,” he whispered, “Let go. You’re right there, just let go and cum for me. Okay? Just breathe, focus, let go and cum for me.”

Light felt L stiffen in his hand before he gasped, gripping onto Light’s shoulders to steady himself. He groaned as he came, jerking hard into Light’s hand. Light felt the hot liquid shoot into his hand and drip down his wrist, as he pressed a soft kiss into L’s hair. Light held him close as he rode out the last of his orgasm, laying on top of him with shuddering breaths.

After a few moments, Lawliet sighed, his whole body finally going slack.

“ You did so well, Lawliet .”

“ I couldn’t have done it without you, Light-kun .”

“ I can’t believe I’ve been missing you this whole time .”

“ I...I love you, Light .”

Light paused, peering at L from the corner of his eye. “Lawliet...?” he asked, heart fluttering.

“...I didn't expect that to come out. But I should tell you I do mean it. I love you, Light.”

Light couldn't help but smile, wrapping his arms around L and pulling him into their tightest embrace yet.

“Then I suppose I should tell you that I love you too, Lawliet.” He received a tight squeeze in response, and that was more than enough.

The two continued to lay there, tangled with each other, not worried about anyone or anything in the slightest. The rest of the world could wait. Right now, they were the only two people in the world. Nobody and nothing else mattered.

Just Light.

Just Lawliet.

Just them.