Chapter Text
Killua is up to his knees in mud.
It had just been a simple miscalculation on Gon’s part. Any normal year would have seen this little creek stretching all the way up the wide bay at the south shore of Whale Island, but it hadn’t been a normal year. The sun had refused to give way to rain, and so the once wide creek had shrunk considerably, leaving flats of mud behind. The little canoe they had spent the week constructing lies overturned on the bank, wedged deep in the muck.
“Are you angry, Killua?” Gon asks. His shorts are soaked; his boots a lost cause. He shucks them and leaves them to dry in the sun, picking himself up quickly to trail after Killua.
The younger of the two boys makes his way through the tall grass growing by the side of the dead creek. His hands are caked with mud, and when he wipes white locks of hair from his eyes, he smears a trail of brown across his cheek and sticks out his tongue in disgust.
“No,” he replies, squatting down to examine something just out of Gon’s sight.
“I mean about the boat. You worked really hard on it, and now it’s stuck in the mud and we can’t get it out.”
“I know what you meant, genius. And I said I’m not mad, so stop sulking around and look for something to dig it out with.
Gon pouts but obeys, scouring the area for a sturdy stick or rock, anything strong enough to dig them out of this predicament.
They had set off early that morning with lunches packed by Mito-san (who had taken great care to keep Killua’s meal free of red peppers). It was only supposed to be a three-hour round trip, maybe even faster with their combined strength. They would have had plenty of time to explore together, perhaps even go swimming in the ocean for a bit. Since it was their last weekend on Whale Island, Gon had wanted to make it something Killua would remember forever. And now he was certain Killua would remember this day forever, but probably not in the way he had intended.
“Ugh, no luck. Maybe we should break for lunch,” Killua calls. Gon freezes. Lunch. He had neglected to mention to Killua that their lunches had been completely submerged when the canoe had flipped. He doubts there is anything at all salvageable at this point.
Scratching the back of his head, Gon puts on a wide, toothy smile. “Good idea! You’re always so smart, Killua, you always know exactly what to say…”
Killua wipes his hands on his shirt and stands up slowly, lips pursed.
“What’d you do,” he says, deadpan.
“Wha—nothing! Hey, Killua, don’t you think it would be better to make our own lunches? We could go fishing, or pick berries, or—“
In a flash Killua appears in front of Gon. He has his fingers twisted in Gon’s shirt, and he shakes the boy violently.
“You lost them, didn’t you! Don’t even try to lie to me. You suck at lying!” Even as he yells such angry words, the hint of a grin still pulls at Killua’s lips.
“So what if I did!” Gon yells back. “There’s always another option! I’ll just catch some fish from the river! It’s fine!!”
“Eh, whatever.” Killua releases his hold on Gon’s shirt, and Gon breathes a sigh of relief. “You go get food. I’ll go try the boat again.”
Gon nods, and as he walks away he can feel Killua’s eyes on him, watching him go. He thinks he hears Killua whisper, “Idiot,” under his breath, but he says it with such fondness that Gon can’t help but whistle a little as he skips off to find food.
By the time they both settle down to eat the meal of berries and cooked fish Gon managed to whip up on the fly, the sun is already high in the sky. Gon strips off his tanktop and places it by his boots to dry, urging Killua to do the same, but for some reason he refuses. As Gon rocks back and forth, humming like he doesn’t have a care in the world, Killua finds himself staring. He feels a pang in his chest, but he doesn’t know why. He thinks about how even in the face of setbacks Gon doesn’t falter, just keeps trudging through with fire in his eyes. He thinks about what Hanzo said, all those months ago at the Hunter Exam, about Gon harboring no ill will toward him, even after he all but tortured him, completely broke him down physically. All in all, he just thinks about Gon. Thinks about him a lot.
Embarrassing. Killua brings himself back down to earth and tears into his portion of fish. Mercifully, Gon remembered to cut the head off this time. He really can be thoughtful, Killua muses fondly. Well. Sometimes.
They enjoy their meal in near silence, only punctuated by the occasional birdcall and Gon’s incessant humming. When they finish, Gon goes over and shakes out his shirt and boots.
“Hey, Killua?” he says. “Let’s keep going. There’s no point in spending our last weekend here just trying to get the boat out of the mud.”
Killua snorts. “Says the one that put it there,” he teases. “Okay, okay. But how are we gonna get back before dinner?”
Looking over his shoulder, a familiar fire blazes in Gon’s eyes. He winks and sticks his tongue out at Killua. “We won’t.”
Killua throws his hands up, incredulous. “Where are you planning on sleeping? We don’t have sleeping bags or blankets! We don’t even have a change of clothes! What are you gonna tell Mito-san! She’s gonna chew us out!”
Gon jams his index fingers together, avoiding Killua’s piercing stare. “I was thinking we could just, ah, sleep on the ground. I know how to make it pretty comfortable, with leaves and stuff. I’ve done it before sometimes.” He pauses, considering something. “Ah, but if we start walking now, we can make it back around midnight I bet. It’s a really roundabout way, but there’s a sort of trail that goes back to town from here, and then we’d havta walk back to my house from there.”
Killua lets out a sigh. “Whatever. I’ve slept in worse places.” Besides, if it’s too uncomfortable he can just avoid sleep altogether. But there’s something so soothing about falling asleep to the rhythm of Gon’s quiet snores that Killua’s been sleeping like a baby almost every night since they came here a little less than a month ago.
“Well, let’s get going!” Gon announces. Killua folds his arms.
“I just said I was okay with sleeping out here, and now you’re saying you were planning on walking home all this time?”
“No, no! We’re not going home tonight but we’re not sleeping here!” Gon tells him, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Don’t worry! It’s still a lot quicker than walking home. Let’s go!”
The boys hike over fallen trees and under low branches. The sun begins to fall from the sky slowly but surely as they make their way through the dense forest. After awhile the din of the ocean fades, and they’re left alone with the sounds of their breathing. Gon’s footsteps are quiet from his years spent hunting in these woods, but Killua’s are entirely silent. They sneak up on quite a few deer and other various wildlife, unnoticed.
Hours pass. Gon sings a song. Killua cracks a few lighthearted jokes. They play some word games to pass the time. Finally, as Killua is at last becoming impatient, Gon announces, “Killua! We’re almost there!”
Killua looks around, one eyebrow raised. “Almost where? Huh, Gon?”
Gon sucks in a breath through his nostrils and closes his eyes. “Can’t you hear it?”
To his chagrin, Killua can’t hear anything. It’s no surprise, considering Gon’s superhuman ears, but it bothers him nonetheless.
“Nah, how do I know you’re not just making things up?” Killua jokes, earning a pout from Gon.
“It’s not much farther! Let’s have a race!” Gon says, brightening up.
“It’s not fair if you already know the way—Gon, are you listening?!”
But Gon is already yards ahead, waving his arms and sticking his tongue out.
The race lasts only fifteen minutes. The noise is faint at first. Killua hears it from over a mile away. Muscles pumping, he manages to catch up to Gon with ease.
“I hear something now,” Killua says between breaths. Gon just nods, pushing himself to run faster. Soon the distant hiss turns into a deafening roar, and the two boys burst into a clearing at the same time, panting.
The trees give way to a crystal clear lake hidden deep within the island. It glitters with the light of the sun, now low in the sky. In its depths rest thousands of rainbow-colored rocks that shimmer and shudder with the ripples in the water. But the focal point is the massive waterfall at the far end of the clearing. It pours from a hole in the cliffside opposite the two boys, and a rainbow resides permanently in its spray. And on a narrow piece of land jutting out into the center of the lake, an ancient tree grows. Its roots are gnarled and its branches are long. In the dim light they look almost like welcoming arms.
“What do you think? I wanted to show you this all along, but I was waiting till the last few days so it would be extra special. So, do you like it, Killua? I’m the only one who knows about it!”
Killua doesn’t mention that the island is small enough that someone else is bound to know about this place. Instead, he smiles and says, “It’s amazing, Gon. I really like it.”
To Killua’s surprise, Gon’s already dark cheeks fill with a soft blush. “There’s not a lot of exciting stuff on Whale Island that Killua would like. My house isn’t big like Killua’s, and we don’t have a volcano. So I tried to think of the best thing we have here. Maybe I’m a little selfish, but I didn’t want anyone else to know about this place. But since it’s special to me, I thought…well, I thought it might be special to you too. So I’m glad you like it.”
Killua opens his mouth, then closes it. There’s that feeling in his chest again, that sensation almost like panic, but duller, softer. He’s struck with the sudden urge to run over and pull his friend into an embrace, but he resists. Gon might think it was weird. No, even worse: Killua might never let go. He plops himself down by the water’s edge and Gon joins him, scooting close enough that their legs are almost touching.
“That’s not even the best part.”
Killua jumps. Gon’s lips are right next to his ear. He can feel Gon’s hot breath tickling his earlobe, and his first instinct is to punch his friend. His second is to pull him closer, but he does neither of those things. Instead, he exclaims, “Idiot! Why are you so close! Don’t you understand personal space!”
Gon pulls back, embarrassed. “Sorry, sorry, I just wanted to tell you!” He extends his arm and points at the falls. “Watch!”
The sky is a deep pinkish-orange now, and though they can’t see the sun itself from here, Killua feels certain they’re missing a fantastic sunset. As the minutes slip away the top of the cliff is bathed in a warm, red glow. Slowly, the light descends, until the gushing water erupts with red light. It’s as if the water itself is giving off light; like the very falls are on fire.
“Isn’t it cool? Hey, Killua, are you listening?”
Gon’s soft exclamations are all but drowned out by the rumble of the water. Killua stares on in awe, his mouth slightly agape. He is so taken with the sight that he doesn’t notice Gon’s fingers intertwining with his until it’s too late. For the third time that day Killua’s heart skips a beat. His chest feels tight, but not necessarily in a bad way.
The fiery effect lasts only a few minutes before slowly fading away. As the darkness trickles in, the forest comes alive with sound around them. Neither Killua nor Gon dares to move for the longest time.
And then, finally, Gon breaks the silence.
“It’s okay, right?” he inquires.
Killua turns to look at him. “Hmm?” he says. “What?”
“It’s okay for me to hold your hand like this, right? We’re friends, right, Killua? So it’s okay.”
“Oh, that. Whatever. I don’t really care.”
Gon giggles. “You do, though! See! You’re all red!”
Killua snatches his hand away and pivots on his hip so that he’s facing away from Gon. “I’m not!” he protests. “I’m just sunburned because some idiot doesn’t know how to steer a boat, and we got stuck out in the sun for hours and hours!”
Behind Killua’s back, Gon’s brow furrows, but he decides to leave Killua alone. Gon yawns loudly and stretches his arms toward the air. He folds his tank top into a neat square and rests his head on it like a pillow.
“I’m gonna try and sleep,” he tells Killua.
At that, Killua turns around again. “Seriously? The sun just set! We have to stay up and tell ghost stories or something!”
Gon closes his eyes and grins defiantly. “I’m too tired,” he says in a sing-song voice.
“Wha— Gon! Don’t you dare fall asleep! We only have a few nights left! I’m not gonna let you waste them sleeping!”
Gon just flips over, sticking his fingers in his ears and humming. Fuming, Killua jams his hands into Gon’s armpits. Gon yelps and tries to defend himself, but try as he might he can’t squirm free of Killua’s grasp.
Laughter rings out through the glade as Gon tries desperately to worm his way out of Killua’s wiggling fingers. But, as always, Killua is relentless in his tickling. He drags one hand down to Gon’s exposed stomach, causing the older boy to curl up into a ball, laughing so hard he can barely breathe.
“Killua! Killua! Cut it out!” Gon gasps.
Killua sticks out his tongue. “Not till you promise me you’ll stay awake!”
“I promise! I promise! Let me go!”
Reluctantly, Killua gives in and relinquishes his hold on Gon. Gon wraps his arms around himself and hisses protectively, still trying to catch his breath. A quiet calm descends.
The wind shifts, dancing through the leaves. It’s properly dark now; the only light that of the small sliver of moon hanging by a thread in the sky. Both boys’ eyes are attuned to darkness, however, and Killua wonders if Gon has noticed how often Killua catches himself staring at his friend.
Eventually he strips off his tank top and folds it like Gon’s. He finds the ground here isn’t uncomfortable, and settles in quickly, facing Gon. Gon’s eyes are turned heavenward, marveling at the thousands of stars splattered across a canvas of sky.
He looks almost otherwordly. Killua can’t bring himself to stop staring. There’s a question forming on his lips and he tries to swallow it down, but the more he tries to ignore it, the more that warm almost-panic feeling floods his lungs. He just wants to ask; knows there’s no harm in a question. What’s the worst that could happen, after all? They’re friends, Gon said so. It’s perfectly normal for friends to want to spend time together. To hold hands. To love each other. Killua doesn’t want to ruin it by feeling too deeply. By being more invested, somehow. He holds his breath.
It almost feels like every moment on Whale Island has been leading up to this. No, even before that. Since he met Gon. Every glance, every smile, every touch. He should be content with that. His very best friend in the world. Something he loves to hear, but would never say. He should be content, without wanting more.
But how he should feel and how he does feel are two very different things. Perhaps, he thinks to himself, he should forget. Be content to be at his side. After all, how could he ask for more than that? After all Gon has done for him. After all Gon is to him. Killua can’t help the aching feeling that he would never be content just to stand at Gon’s side. He knows it might be selfish, wanting—no, needing to be the most important thing in Gon’s life. But it’s what he wants, more than anything.
“Gon.”
Killua’s voice shakes. He breathes in, out, steady. Gon blinks the starlight from his eyes, a smile dawning on his face when he looks at Killua.
“Killua!” he exclaims.
Killua’s fingers curl in and out of fists. That panicky feeling rises until he can hardly feel anything other than the raw tightness in his chest.
“You said…” he starts, then stops. Gon reaches out and grabs hold of his hand again. He suddenly looks very serious. Killua’s eyes flutter shut. “You said friends can hold hands. That’s okay, right?”
“Yep,” Gon says. He tightens his hold on Killua’s hand. “Definitely.”
Killua’s mouth feels dry. “Are you, uh. Can friends kiss each other? B…because, I…”
At that, Gon bites his lip and looks deep in thought. “I’m not sure,” he replies after a moment. He scratches the back of his neck. “Sorry, I’m not much help again.”
Killua tilts his head to the side and gently knocks his fist against Gon’s forehead. “Yeah, you’re no help at all,” he sighs.
Gon smooths his thumb over the back of Killua’s hand. “I do know one thing,” he announces.
“Oh? Then you know one more thing than I thought you knew.”
“Killua! I’m trying to be serious! I was going to say, if Killua wanted to kiss me, I wouldn’t mind too much. Because we’re friends, right? And I love being with you.”
Killua freezes. The weird feeling in his chest begins to subside, if only a little bit. “Ah, well, I was talking more, ah, generally, that is—“
“Oh! In that case, forget about it.” Gon laughs awkwardly and begins to slide his hand away from Killua, but instinctively Killua wraps his fingers around Gon’s wrist, trapping him. With his other hand he reaches up and grabs hold of the back of Gon’s neck.
Gon’s chest rises and falls quickly. Killua wonders if Gon’s heart is beating as fast as his own is right now. He wants to check, wants to place the palm of his hand flat on Gon’s chest and feel his pulse, know that he’s here, and real, and alive. But for now he leans forward and presses their foreheads together. Gon’s small, freckled nose squishes against his.
“I’ve never kissed anyone before, so…” Gon trails off. They’re so close that Gon’s breath tickles Killua’s cheeks, and he smiles.
“It can’t be that hard.” Killua tries to make himself sound less nervous than he feels. “Just, uh, lean forward, and I’ll lean forward, and if we aim it right…”
Gon snaps his fingers. “Like in the movies!” he proclaims loudly, and Killua moves his hand over Gon’s mouth to shush him.
“You’re so loud, dummy. Don’t scream when your mouth is right next to me!”
“Mm! Mm!” Gon complains through Killua’s fingers. Killua lets out an exasperated sigh and removes his hand.
“You keep getting distracted, Killua,” Gon laughs.
“Idiot! Who do you think is doing the distracting!”
“Why’s it always my fault!”
“Because it is!”
In response, Gon presses his lips together and sticks them out in an exaggerated fashion, and Killua looks at him, equal parts disgusted and amused.
“Geez, you’re pretty hopeless, Gon,” he says fondly. “If that’s how you look when you wanna kiss someone, nobody’s ever gonna wanna date you!”
“Hey, Killua, you’re the one who wanted to kiss me in the first place! What does that make you!”
“Whatever. You’re the one who keeps changing the subject. If you don’t really wanna, I’ll just go to bed.”
Gon laughs at that. “I was only doing that to make Killua feel more comfortable! You keep shaking.”
Killua looks down at his palm. Gon is right; he’s trembling ever so slightly. He makes a fist and releases it, frowning. He’s not in any danger, and there’s no threat, so why is his body reacting like this? It doesn’t make sense. It’s not like he’s afraid of Gon. Besides, even if he really was scared, he could just back out and tell Gon he’s going to sleep.
“Okay, okay,” he says finally. “Let’s make it quick, though.”
Gon nods seriously. This time it’s him who grabs hold of the back of Killua’s neck, stroking his fingers through his friend’s soft white hair. The sensation sends a shiver down Killua’s spine. Even though it’s been months since they first met, Gon’s gentleness still amazes him. Maybe it’s just because no one has ever touched him gently before, or maybe it’s just Gon. Probably a combination of the two. But he does know there’s a world of difference between the casual touches of Leorio, or Kurapika, or anyone else really, and those of his best friend.
Gon pulls him forward, squishing their noses together again. Both of them close their eyes and stay like that for awhile. Even caked in dried-on mud, Gon smells so warm and familiar. Killua read once that if you really love someone, they taste good, too. He wonders if that’s true for Gon.
When at last Gon tugs on Killua’s hair and pulls him close so that their lips are nearly touching, it feels so natural that Killua wonders what he was so scared of all this time. It’s Killua who finally closes the distance, placing his lips on Gon’s for a brief second before pulling away. Gon goes to bury his face in Killua’s neck, his face entirely flushed.
“It feels so weird,” he says.
Killua flinches. “Was it that bad?”
Gon shakes his head, still holding onto Killua tightly. “No! It’s just kind of scary, but exciting too. Being so close to someone.”
“Ah,” Killua replies. He absently runs his fingers through Gon’s hair.
Eventually Killua loses track of time. Even though the moon is barely a sliver tonight, everything is bathed in a silvery glow. He vaguely wonders if this is all just a weird dream, and he’ll wake up tomorrow and only remember fleeting images. But the sensation of Gon’s stomach expanding and contracting as he breathes in and out, and the way the calloused skin of his hands feels on Killua’s back…he couldn’t dream that up.
When he’s almost positive that Gon has fallen asleep, Killua gently lowers his friend to the ground, taking care to place his head on the makeshift pillow he’d made from his tank top. Though he wants to stay up and replay the day over and over again in his head, Killua can’t help but feel himself dozing off after awhile.
He’s half-conscious when he hears Gon turn over and whisper, “Killua, you awake?”
“Mmm,” is Killua’s hazy reply. He tries to open his eyes, but he can’t fight the heaviness of sleep setting in. He’s not entirely sure whether Gon is awake, or just talking in his sleep like he sometimes does.
“Killua,” Gon says through a yawn, “when are you happiest?”
“When I’m with you, dummy.”
His answer comes immediately, without hesitation. Killua wants to be surprised at himself, but deep down he knows that’s always been the answer. He hardly even knew the meaning of the word ‘happy’ before he met Gon, but ever since then he’s rarely been anything but happy.
“Thought so.”
Killua rolls his eyes at that, but smiles to himself. He makes a mental note to tease Gon about it later, whether or not his friend remembers this conversation in the morning. As soon as he’s sure Gon isn’t going to say anything else, Killua lets himself drift off to sleep.
Gon is awake and raring to go at the break of dawn. Though far from clean, his tank top and boots are dry enough to wear again, so he puts them on and goes stomping about the clearing. As he’s perfectly capable of moving quietly, Killua knows he’s just trying to get him to wake up in the most passive aggressive way possible, and eventually he submits and pulls himself up into a sitting position.
“Gon, you can stop that now. I’m awake. You win.” Killua stretches his arms to the sky and breathes in the cool morning air.
“Sorry, sorry! I was getting bored being the only one awake.”
“Why not wake me up like a normal person, then? Huh?”
“I tried! Three times! You punched me!”
Killua yawns. “Liar. If you’d tried to wake me up before, I would have woken up.”
Gon looks sheepish. “Anyway,” he says, trying to change the subject. “We have to get up this early, if we wanna be home by lunchtime.”
“Lunchtime? According to what you said yesterday, even if we left now, we won’t get back till at least this afternoon.”
“Maybe not, but I know a shortcut!”
“A short— Gon, are you telling me we could have walked back last night? Slept in an actual bed? Had an actual dinner?” Even as he says it, Killua knows that he’s glad Gon waited until now to reveal this. If he’d talked about the shortcut yesterday afternoon, Killua would have pushed for them to go back to Mito-san’s house, and he never would have gotten to see Gon’s secret place. He never would have gotten to kiss Gon…
A wave of nervousness washes over him. He watches Gon, who walks around humming and kicking a stone on the ground, and wonders if anything has changed between them. Has he ruined anything? Has the world they share together been turned on its head? No, he has to stop overreacting. Nothing has changed. They’re still just friends, best friends; nothing has to change for something as simple as a kiss.
Gon looks over at him then and grins. “If I’d told you about the shortcut yesterday you wouldn’t have wanted to come here, and all my plans would have been ruined!”
“Plans…what are you saying?”
But Gon just grins even wider and motions for Killua to follow him back into the woods.
It doesn’t take long for Killua to realize that they’re walking the exact same path they were on yesterday. Gon walks a few paces ahead of him, a happy skip in his step. He whistles some tune that’s familiar, but Killua can’t quite place it. Briefly he thinks about asking about last night, just to make absolutely certain that they’re still on the same terms. But on the off chance that Gon has already forgotten (he was pretty tired, after all), he doesn’t want to jog his memory.
The way back is mostly downhill and their progress is far faster than yesterday. Killua casually mentions that they’re headed back in the direction of the boat, and Gon just nods in agreement, offering no clues as to why.
Before he knows it they’re back where they started yesterday afternoon, on the mud flats facing the wide, open ocean. Gon stands with his hands on his hips, surveying the area. The boat, obviously, hasn’t gone anywhere; if anything, it has sunk deeper than the day before. Killua walks over to place his hand on Gon’s shoulder.
“Okay, genius, what’s your big plan here? There’s no way we’re getting that thing out, and the only way back to Mito-san’s from here is on the boat, or back the way we came and through the town.”
Gon gives him a thumbs-up. “Right! So I’ll go get the boat, and let’s get going! We’ll be paddling against the current this time so we better get started right away!”
Killua rubs the back of his hand across his forehead. “Gon, I spent hours trying to get that thing out. It’s not going anywhere.” He speaks patiently, as if explaining something to a small child.
But Gon just bites down on his lip, trying not to laugh. He can’t hold it for long, though, and bursts out giggling so violently that he falls to the muddy ground.
“I can’t believe it! I tricked Killua! I actually did it!” he yells. Killua turns red with fury.
“The hell are you talking about, dummy! Get up! Explain this to me!”
Sliding down the slope to where the boat is wedged, Gon plunges his arm under the water and wraps something around his fingers. He pulls it out, revealing a sturdy rope.
“I tied the boat to a huge rock stuck under the mud! You wouldn’t notice unless you looked underneath, but you never did!”
Beaming triumphantly, Gon reaches down and flips the boat over with one arm. He holds it over his head, letting the water drain, then shoves it back into the water, upright.
“You thought you just had to dig the boat out, but you would have had to dig that rock out too! See, I outsmarted you!”
Killua dashes over to Gon and shoves him to the ground. “Who the hell does that? Why would you go to all that trouble just to keep the damn boat in the mud!”
Gon tries to wipe the mud from his face, but his hands are so covered in it that he ends up making it worse. He looks up at Killua, a sheepish grin on his face. “Maybe it’s selfish, but I wanted you all to myself for awhile! Three hours wouldn’t have been enough for me.”
Killua’s expression softens. “You really are hopeless!” he tells Gon. “If that was it, why didn’t you just tell me from the start? You didn’t have to go to all that trouble.”
“You would have made a fuss about getting home before bed, ‘cause Killua likes his mattress more than he likes me!”
“That is not fair, and not true!” Killua sinks to his knees and flicks his index finger against Gon’s forehead. “Next time, just tell me the truth! There’s nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with someone.”
“Next time?” Gon asks hopefully.
Killua snorts. “Don’t get your hopes up, though! We still have to deal with Mito-san…”
Gon gulps. “You know, I don’t think it would hurt to spend another night—“
As much as he would like another night with Gon all to himself, Killua yanks his friend up and nudges him toward the boat. “Nuh-uh. I’m sleeping in my own bed tonight, even if I have to go home by myself!”
The boys tumble into the canoe together. Killua situates himself behind Gon and grabs hold of one of the makeshift paddles they had created.
As Gon had mentioned before, the current fights them the whole way down. It’s slow going, but they pass the time laughing and joking. When the sun reaches its apex the conversation lulls. Everything feels exactly the same as it did yesterday, Killua thinks, and he isn’t sure what to make of it. On the one hand, he is thankful for the fact that nothing is weird or awkward after last night. But on the other, he wonders if it’s simply because Gon has forgotten. Even worse, if Gon doesn’t think of it in the same way Killua does. Sure, Gon seemed eager last night, but Killua begins to wonder if it wasn’t just to sate his own curiosity. He tries to shake the doubt from his mind.
For now, just the sound of Gon’s voice is enough. He’s content to sit behind him on this little boat they crafted together with their own hands, staring at the sun beating down on Gon’s back. They’ll go home, apologize to Mito-san, eat lunch out in the sunshine, and fall asleep late in the night like they always have. It’s frightening, not being absolutely sure of where they stand, but it’s nothing Killua can’t deal with. No matter how Gon feels, even if his feelings change, Killua will always protect Gon. He promises himself that, here and now. He’ll always be there, at Gon’s side.