Chapter Text
Marinette was stuck. With Lila pushing her every day, her duties as Ladybug, and now her guardian duties, the bluenette was reaching the end of her rope. She had to fight every akuma since she was Ladybug, that was a given, and if she wanted to stand a chance against Shadowmoth growing power then she needed to focus on more research into the miraculous. Top that off with the copious amounts of homework the school was adding on because of the attacks, and Lila Rossi deciding that Marinette just can’t have a day off, it was a lot. Was getting way too much in fact. Today alone marked the sixth time Shadowmoth had tried to akumatize her, and that’s only including his attempts this past week.
Tikki had convinced Marinette to let Adrien know at least about how the stress of Lila had almost gotten her akumatized, but he seemed indifferent at best.
“You’re Marinette, our everyday ladybug. You’ll be okay.”
Tikki had ripped down a few of her Adrien posters after hearing that, and Marinette didn’t have it in her to stop the kwami. She didn’t have time for crushes. Right now she needed to figure out what to do before she actually breaks completely and gets akumatized.
It was on that night, as she was flipping through the grimore, that she got her answer.
“Tikki look. Apparently this spell is made to turn emotions into power. It’s sort of like the butterfly miraculous, right?”
Tikki flew over to observe the page.
“Yes. But spells like these are very challenging to use. It’s lucky for us though, since that means that Shadowmoth won’t be able to cast it. Even if he gets powered up again.”
“But what about me? Can I do this?”
Tikki seemed concerned.
“You can, since you’re a true creation holder and the guardian. But humans are made to have emotions, Marinette. You can’t just burn them away for a little more power.”
Marinette hummed as she read over the spell again.
“But I almost got akumatized how many times already? This spell is the perfect solution. I level off my emotions and I gain more power to end akuma fights quicker.”
It made perfect sense for her situation. Not even Tikki had any arguments other than her initial concern. Without a second thought, Marinette begun to repeat the words on the page out loud. Magic swirled around her, until all she saw was purple. She didn’t stop though, and finished through.
A glowing mark of butterfly wings appeared over her heart before fading out, but as she double check the spell, Marinette wasn’t concerned. That mark meant that it worked. Suddenly the bluenette let out a yawn.
“I guess that spell took some energy from me too. Oh well, time for bed.”
Marinette changed into her pajamas and slid into bed, unaware of exactly what she just did.
The next day Marinette didn’t feel any different. She got up and got her stuff together before walking to school. She didn’t notice the stares that people were giving her for being on time. She didn’t notice the mixer whispers of “poor Marinette” and “poor Lila” as people debated what the truth was.
The bluenette only realized that something was up when she reached the classroom to find some ripped up pages of something on her desk. Her classmates looked at her smugly, sans Adrien who was nowhere to be seen and Chloé who was on her phone. The girl merely blinked before gathering up the ripped pages and throwing them away.
Then she sat down, unaware of her classmates’s disbelief until Alya shouted.
“Don’t you care?!”
Marinette took a few seconds to realize that the blogger was addressing her. She turned in her seat to find the girl in the back with Lila.
“Care about what?”
“Your sketchbook!”
Marinette was puzzled, before putting two and two together.
“Oh so that was my sketchbook.”
Alya regained her smug look, but it slowly slipped away as Marinette began pulling out her class work.
“That’s it? Your work was destroyed and you don’t feel anything?”
Alix asked, and the bluenette merely gave her a shrug.
“I mean it’s destroyed. Why would I bother trying to fix it or cry over it. If you guys want, I can report the destruction of my property to the school.”
The class promptly stopped trying to edge a reaction from the girl after that. They talked quietly among themselves. It was weird enough for Marinette to not be upset over her sketchbook being ruined, but she had never threatened them before. They supposed that she had stopped hiding her true self from them. After all, she had been bullying Lila in private for a while now.
Adrien had come in later that day to hear that Marinette had threatened the class. Nino didn’t tell him why and the blond didn’t ask. Later that day Adrien cornered Marinette to confront her on not following his advice. Her answer wasn’t what he expected.
“The only reason why I followed with any of your advice before was because I liked you. Because of that, the class was convinced that I was jealous that Lila was smooching up to you. But I’m done caring. They wanted me to react to what they did and I said that I could react a certain way if they wanted me to. This is the high road Adrien. It’s what you asked me to do so I’ll do it. But don’t try guilt tripping me or playing the sad boy card to get your way. It won’t affect me anymore.”
The bluenette didn’t even bother to wait for a response, merely walking away.
Adrien decided that he had to ask Ladybug for advice, and later that day the opportunity came. Another akuma appeared, and Adrien slipped out of the house to go to the battle. When he arrived, it was to the sight of Ladybug single handedly beating the akuma. She had already called her lucky charm and was using it. She already an the akumatized object in hand. When she spotted him on the sidelines, she tossed it over to him, prompting him to call upon cataclysm to destroy it. She captured and purified the akuma before releasing her cure. She then moved to leave before Chat called out to her.
“Wait, bugaboo! We need to talk.”
Ladybug paused before shrugging and walking towards him.
“What’s up?”
Chat was surprised that she didn’t say anything about the nickname, but shook his head to clear his thoughts.
“I need advice on a friend.”
She merely raised an eyebrow.
“She’s been acting differently. She threatened my classmates and then blamed me for it.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say Chat. I can’t help you with anything relating to your personal life. As long as she hasn’t caused an akuma then it’s none of my concern. Maybe talk to your teacher about her. That’s the best advice I can give. Right now I need to get home.”
Then Ladybug swung off, leaving behind an even more confused hero behind.
The rest of the week went along easily. No one could convince Marinette to try and care. They told her that she was getting kicked off the class rep position, she merely handed over some old plans she had. They told her that until she apologizes she can’t do class trips, she says that she won’t do fundraisers.
Her parents threatened to ground her and she states logic. How she didn’t do anything wrong. It made no sense to help out with something if she wasn’t going to go to it, and it wasn’t like she was reacting in a negative way to any of her classmates. She had only been responding with simple logic and hadn’t reacted to anything at all.
By the end of the week, the rest of the kwamis knew that something was wrong. Tikki had decided to wait until Friday night to bring up the issue. The bluenette was done with her homework and walking oft to go take her shower when the being spoke up.
“Marinette.”
Tikki’s voice made her pause. It held concern yet so much authority that she turned towards the being.
“I think that the spell you cast used up more emotions than you first thought it would. Can you reread the spell information to me?”
Marinette was about to counter the kwami, after all she didn’t feel that different, but there was no reason to refuse such simple a request.
“Sure thing.” She grabbed the grimore and flipped it open to the page needed. “Turning emotions into power and strength. Chanting the words below will allow the user to turn their own emotions into strength. When the spell is completed, a glowing mark of butterfly wings will appear over the users heart.”
Tikki flew over towards the book, looking over the words desperately despite not being able to read any of it.
“And does it have anything on how to reverse it?”
Marinette blinked at the being.
“But I’m doing much better with the spell active. I haven’t almost been akumatized at all since I’ve cast it, and the akuma battle we had went so much quicker than before.”
Tikki buzzed with an emotion that Marinette could only guess was concern.
“Still. Is there a way to reverse it?”
Marinette hummed and looked over the page again, finding the requested information.
“In order to reverse the spell, the user will either require no other use of magic until emotions fully come back or the butterfly kwami can pull back the magic.”
Tikki let out a cry, prompting the other kwamis to come forward and comfort her. Marinette closed the book and titled her head.
“What’s wrong with that? Once I defeat Hawkmoth then I will be able to feel emotions again and can get the spell reverse. It’s perfect.”
Tikki flew in front of her chosen, trying to find a way to put it in words that Marinette could understand in her current state.
“Emotions are an important part of being human, Marinette. If this spell was done correctly, then it would have just leveled out your emotions so you wouldn’t have any extremes. However you must have casted it wanting to not feel anything at all. We need to find another way to reverse this spell.”
Marinette reached out to cup the kwami gently.
“If this is about how I acted around Chat Noir, then I will do better to pretend that I still have emotions as Ladybug. However, I will not be trying to reverse this until Hawkmoth is dealt with. I was in pain, Tikki. No one cared about how I felt. With this, I don’t need to worry about how I feel. Nothing anyone does to me will affect me. Sure I can’t feel happiness, but I wasn’t feeling a lot of that recently anyways. This is for the best.”
For some reason the being only cried out harder. Marinette hummed and stroke her fingers gently over Tikki’s head. Her kwami will get over this eventually. After all, it is for the best. She was Ladybug, and Ladybug can’t feel emotions. She can’t be upset or angry or stressed. That was holding her back. Now she’ll be able to deal with akumas quicker and start looking for Hawkmoth. It was perfect, and once everyone accepted that this was just the way things were for now on the better it will be for everyone.