Work Text:
The first time I had ever touched my Anita was in Santa Fe. I remember the feel of her hand in mine with only the slick blood of our enemies separating her skin from mine. I had just saved her life. It had felt so natural to do so, which was puzzling to me. When had it ever felt so right to save a woman? I can’t recall a time that I ever even made attempt to do so. With an uneasy feeling in my gut I contributed it to the fact that it was part of the current job. It was what Edward would have expected, and any less would have been failure. I never fail.
It wasn’t until she explained to the men present what needed to be done to keep the vampire from rising again, that I began to realize she was different from the others. The way she suggested it was so matter of fact, a tone that bore experience. Yet even then I refused to believe what my very soul had already come to realize. I picked up the club with intent to do what needed to be done on my own, as I have so many times in the past, when she surprised me once again. She removed the blade from her enemy and knelt beside the body with me.
I questioned her when she asked me to take the first blow. I was so sure that it would be a sign of weakness, yet the way she replied without fear or revulsion at what we were about to do, and the way she spoke to the men around us, only solidified that nagging thought that was forming at the back of my mind. She would have made a good man, I think in wonder, and I tell her as much.
The pleasure I felt upon seeing her drive her blade into the vampire’s chest was such that I had never felt before. I recalled Edward’s words as he spoke of soul mates, and I knew then that I had found mine. It was in that moment that I made a decision that would change everything. We would hunt together again, and I would do whatever necessary in order to possess this treasure I had found.
Months would pass before I saw her again, but it was well worth the wait. On that day I was permitted to touch her twice. The first was in the hospital, I caressed her exposed insides longingly, knowing that if this hunt truly went the way I want it would likely be one of the few times such a occurrence would arise. I relished the moment even as I was removed from that room. For all I knew it would be the last that I would see of her. How fortunate it was for all involved that she recovered so quickly. I know I would not react well to her death at another’s hand.
We continued our hunt together. She had needed help removing the heart from the vampire she had slaughtered, and I was only too happy to oblige. This time was so so much more intimate than the first as I slid my arm beside hers in the body cavity. She made to move away, but I held her still so that we could both savor the moment. We removed the heart together ever so slowly, and as we held it over the corpse I gave into the urge to steal a kiss.
Her reaction was perfect. I just barely escaped her blade. It was arousing to know that my woman was as dangerous as me. If I pushed to hard, too fast, she would try to kill me, and that knowledge only served to fuel my passion for her. I ran my bloody hands down my body. For the first time in my life the hardness of my flesh wasn’t just a result of the kill. It was her. I would like nothing more than to fuck her. To bask the the glory of our shared moment. However, I know that she is not ready, and with the other men milling about it was completely out of the question. I take comfort in the knowledge that someday it will come to pass. The pull of our joined souls is far too strong to ignore forever.
Upon the third meeting I was filled with questions. Rumors of her exploits have traveled far. That Edward was among the ranks of those vying for her attention worried me slightly. The monsters weren’t a threat. Not a single one of them could be the man she needed, and they have all but proven themselves ineffectual in regards to her protection back in St. Louis, but Edward could possibly take her from me.
I admit that I was at a loss. I have never needed to win a woman’s affections before. Instead I simply took what I wanted without question, but Anita is different. I want her willing. I know if I used my usual means of procuring women on her I would never be able to keep her. She would turn on me in anger, and I would have to kill her least she do the same to me. She is a vengeful one.
With little else to draw on I decided to use our handshake as a means to show my regard. I held her arm still as a reminder of the last time we were together in the most intimate of moments as we shared the kill. I am convinced that it had worked up until Edward stepped in, staking his claim on her, and most importantly she let him do it. I had decided then and there to use every opportunity to sway her opinion.
The trip to the morgue provided me with such an opportunity. I would have been a fool to let it slip by. I enjoyed the feel of her curves as I leaned against her in a seductive manner, allowing her to feel just how being in this setting with her excited me. While I couldn’t help but to toy with her, she had made it so easy, my attempt to understand what I was doing wrong had been genuine. Women as a rule were confusing, but none more so than my Anita.
She could be almost weak one moment, and then harsher than many of the men I knew the next. When her inner beast had attempted to rip its way out of her I held my jacket to the wound. The feel of her blood on my hands was intoxicating. I knew then what she’d meant about us not being able to work well together. Sitting there with her I could think of nothing but the blood and pain. It clouded my judgment, made it difficult to focus on the job. I understood her reactions in the morgue better upon this realization.
Despite my best efforts she still had not given in to me. My assurances that I would date her as other men would went unheeded even as I was gracious enough to offer to feed her ardeur for her. I do not understand her reluctance on that matter. What was a simple fuck compared to what we had shared in the past? Perhaps she was wary of taking that step because of my past actions towards women, but I was at a loss of how to reassure her. What could I possibly say to ease her fears? ‘I’m not going torture you, like I have countless others.’ ‘I promise not to hurt you much.’ ‘You will wake up in the morning.’ Somehow I felt those words wouldn’t be of any help.
It was disappointing, but I was undeterred. I would use our time apart to figure out what it was she needed, and I would show her that I was the only man who could provide it for her. My need grows with each meeting. It is as if I am starved for her touch. The closer I get, the more I want.
I held her in my arms in Seattle, and for a brief moment I felt complete. I was pleased when she had the nerve to pull a gun on me. It only reassured me of her strengths. Though I do still owe her for the broken wrist, and I can think of many ways that she repay me. I was never given a chance to collect that debt, but I will in due time.
At the hospital I found a woman who looked like her. I charmed her, and watched for Anita’s reaction. It was petty of me, but I wanted to let her know that I was growing weary of this game. I wanted her to feel that she could be easily replaced. In all honesty the doctor would be nothing more than a minor distraction. She couldn’t even begin to compare to Anita.
My rage at seeing how she allowed Nick to remain near was tangible. While at the same time I felt a mild horror grip at me as I realized what exactly she had done to him. She took his will and made him obey the to the point that he couldn’t even bare for her to be a little sad. She had turned him into her pet cat. I felt doubt in that moment. Is that why men flocked to her? Did she plan a similar fate for me? Had I been so erroneous in my judgment of her character? No, I am certain that her change was gradual. I blamed the monsters for her current state. The vampire that claimed himself to be her master in particular.
I sit alone in my hospital room after the doctor who looked so much like Anita gave me my test results. I had plenty of time to think of what I would write to my wayward woman, but in the end the note is short. There isn’t a lot that needs to be said, and I am not a man to waste time with meaningless words.
After all of these years I have grown tired of waiting for her to realize what is in front of her. She is so much like a man in manner that I had forgotten she still must experience the petty emotions of a woman. I will do as I should have done to begin with had Edward not interfered. First I will find my way as a lion, and then I will return for her. The doctor will provide an ample distraction until the time for our next meeting; that is if this cheap imitation of my woman doesn’t break too quickly.
Then it will be Anita’s turn to make the sacrifices in our relationship. She will be mine. On my terms. One way or another.