Chapter Text
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, Sunday October 25th, has been on this boy’s mind since he got a pesterchum message on Monday asking him to dinner with friends. His friend’s brother recently got into the restaurant business and both of them asked him and two young ladies to hang out tonight. This young man is none other than John Egbert, currently stretching a blue knitted sweater over his recently combed hair.
==> Be John
As you tighten your belt, you hear a honk from outside. It’s Dave! Oh no, you’re not finished getting ready yet! You rush put on socks, one blue and one green, and hastily put on your sneakers, not bothering to tie the laces. You pop a mint into your mouth and rush out towards the door. However, just as you reach for the door a voice makes you pause.
“If you forget your keys, I’m not helping you get 8ack in.” Vriska is sitting on the living room couch, with Terezi sitting next to her. The television flashes with color, sound effects of beeping and honking make it a bit difficult to hear what Terezi says next but it’s something along the lines of “W3 M1GHT NOT 3V3N B3 H3R3 BY TH3 T1M3 YOU G3T B4CK!” You take a second to feel around your pockets. Yeah, no, no key. Luckily, Vriska keeps a set on a FLARP themed lanyard in a ceramic bowl you made during a pottery class the two of you took together. Man, that was a fun class, you remember you made a sli- Another honk interrupts your thoughts and you rush outside quickly slamming the door behind you. You run out to the driveway and in a red honda civic sits Dave in the driver's seat. Beyond the fuzzy dice that hang on the mirror, sit Rose and Jade in the back of the car. You throw the door open and jump into the seat, and take a deep breath. “took you long enough” he says fixing his shades.Between heavy pants you reply “sorry about that.” He smiles, “eh, don’t worry about it, we’ve got time.”
Dave grabs the knob and turns up the music volume. You look at the small car display, and it looks like he currently has it set to some shitty rap music as usual. You start to look outside the window, watching your neighbors homes, trees, convenience stores, and streetlights rush in and out of view. Most of which you know about the restaurant is that Dirk bought it as an investment. Or at least, an investment according to Dirk. He also called his extensive small horse toy collection an investment. You also know that Jane is head chef, as she has already begun complaining about Dirk’s management skills to Roxy, which means it eventually ends up back to you. Suddenly, a tall, yellow tinted light shadows over the car. The sign features a man sitting on a chair, leaning on a barrel. Though it is bright and faded you can read the words “Cracker Barrel.” Dave’s brother bought a Cracker Barrel. Holy fuck.
In traditional fashion, the restaurant features a front porch with several rocking chairs. You walk up the short set of steps and enter the country store. It features mostly… CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS?! Halloween hasn’t even passed yet! Luckily, there is a small halloween set up near the entrance. You see Aradia working at the counter with heavy lidded eyes staring into a laptop. Sollux is stocking a shelf of small wooden horse statues. Karkat’s brother can be seen fixing his hair at a podium. Dave and Rose walk over the podium, while you follow Jade over to… wherever she’s going. She wanders for a bit before stopping at a shelf of stuffed animals. Her tail starts to wag as she finds a stuffed squiddle. “Holy moly! I haven’t seen these in years!”
It’s been months since you’ve seen her. To save money, you moved in with Vriska and Terezi, into a mostly troll neighborhood. They moved into newer homes after the game as many that were still standing were preoccupied. However, it also led to you seeing Rose and Jade a lot less. Luckily Dave wasn’t far. He moved in with Dirk, who moved in with a troll you don’t know much about. You don’t even remember his name. You and him frequently drive around the cul de sac or to the nearby docks. Living with trolls was difficult at first, especially ones as malicious as Vriska and TZ. But you all take care of each other… you think. Actually now that you think about it, Vriska has had you doing the dishes for the past fe- A “Come on! Our table is ready!” barked from Jade takes you out of your train of thought. What is up with all of these thoughts tonight?
The Vantas who was standing at the podium grabs four silverware sets, a crayon box, three menus, and a kid’s menu. He sets out the menus, silverware, and napkins. “My name is Kankri Vantas, I’ll 6e y9ur server for t9night. Please d9n’t hesitate to let me kn9w if y9u need anything. I w9uld hate t9 have missed s9mething” He seems to say a few other things but you’re already picking a seat, sitting across the kid’s menu, curious as to who got it. Unsurprisingly Dave sits right in front of it, opening the crayon box. “bet I can kick your ass at tic tac toe!” he says beginning to draw the cross hatched gaming space. “oh you’re on!” you say picking up a blue crayon. You have been surrounded in the color recently, living with blue bloods and all. All the games end in ties. All five of them. After realizing neither of you will win, Dave starts to doodle a vaguely Sweet Bro looking guy. Kankri comes back holding a tray of waters. While setting them down he asks “Can I get any 9f y9u a drink?”
“I’ll have a cola.” You decide. “Water’s fine.” Rose replies, and Jade shares the comment “Water’s good for me too!” Even while wearing shades you can tell Dave is looking at the drinks on the menu. “An apple juice!” Kankri puts down the last glass and flips the tray in order to hold it under his arm. “I am terri6ly s9rry, 6ut, we just ran 9ut 9f apple juice.” Both of Dave’s hands slam on the table in shock. Jades ears perk up, Rose eyes dart left to right, and you look at the server. Dave always gets an apple juice. The stares make him noticeably concerned, yet Kankri continues, “We d9 have 9range juice, if y9u w9uld care f9r that.” Dave takes a deep breath, eyes the menu again, and looks the troll in the eye. “Fine. I’ll take a glass of disappointment.” Kankri nervously eyes the table and announces “9range juice it is then.” As he walks away you can hear the troll whisper to himself “C9la and dissap9intment.” as he walks away.
You try to process the situation. Assumingly to break the awkward silence resulting from what just happened, Rose asks “So how have you two been? We barely see you.” Dave picks up the blue crayon from your side of the table and begins to color. “I’ve been good,” he says “Dirk and Cronus are barely home anyway.” Cronus! That was the troll’s name. You’ve only met him once and it was at 3:00 in the morning. You were sleeping over and wanted some water. While in the kitchen, you saw hunching over the fridge in nothing but a white tank top and anchor printed violet boxers. He grabbed a glass Pepsi bottle and water and marched out, not even noticing you. But the reason the situation was intimidating was because he was tall. Really tall. His claws made a tippy tappy noise as he walked around the tiled floor. And most noticeably, while he walked close to you, he smelled heavily of something that had your nose tingling for a minute after. Since then, you have Dave come to the kitchen with you when you get hungry at night.
Rose smiles at Dave “That's good. Maybe it’s just me, but I couldn’t stand living with Dirk. Not because of who he is, just how bossy he is.” she says, flipping the menu over, eying the cocktail menu. Oh shit it’s your turn. “How about you John?” Jade asks, her ears tilting slightly. “It’s been alright. Terezi and Vriska usually tend to themselves. But we do hang out together sometimes!” What else is there? Oh! “I am also really enjoying the university film program!” You are taking film classes online. Rose suggested it when Vriska offered to have you move in. You don’t need to worry about rent, all Vriska asks is that you buy take out once a week (Wait, that IS rent!). You got some money from selling some of your DVDs, but you plan on getting a job as soon as you can. Hopefully doing something that isn’t retail. You suddenly wonder if Dirk has any positions open here. You also suddenly remember how much you’ve heard about the short run restaurant. Most of the workers are trolls, mainly friends of Cronus. Unfortunately, not every business even interviews trolls.
Speaking of trolls, Kankri comes back with your drinks, followed by a spiky haired fellow in a pizza patterned button up, brown tie, and black pants. Kankri asks you for your food order and you each reply with your respective orders. You notice it’s the first time he takes out a notebook and uses a purple pen to write down what you said. He takes each one of your menus, leaving Dave’s now meme covered masterpiece menu. As Kankri turns away, the man in the pizza themed outfit sits next to you in the booth. It’s Dirk. “Do you mind if I join?” He asks. Dave just picks up his menu and slides it over to Dirk’s side. “Check this out.” Dave says, a smile appearing on his face. “Holy shit this is awesome!” Dirk blurts, almost jumping in his seat. Jade squeaks in, “So, you run this place?” Dirk grabs a green crayon, beginning to add to the world’s best dressed kids menu. “Sort of. When I’m not here I have Jane or Cronus run the place. Cracker Barrel never did franchise type stuff, but hey, it was abandoned, and well, the city was offering to sell the land for real cheap. I technically should change the name, but they haven’t sued me yet.” “It’s only been a month.” Dave chips in.
Dirk continues to talk about his plans for the place, yet you can’t help but look around. It’s decorated like a rural cabin, including a deer head mounted above the fireplace. It’s unlit and the mantle stars several vintage pictures, toys, and knickknacks. Your eyes wander curiously to a troll, obviously a Captor, sitting by themselves, playing on a handheld system. There seems to be three glasses scattered around their table, You wonder what he could possibly be up to. “The 6uttermilk pancakes?” You turn back to your table. “That’s for me!” You half raise your hand while saying that. As Kankri places the other meals, Dirk looks right at him. “Don’t punch this in the computer, it's on me.” Kankri simply nods and walks back to the kitchen.
“So, how have you been, Dirk?” you ask. Although you’re constantly at his house, he’s barely there. And when he is, he’s dead asleep. “Never been better.” You’re not entirely sure how honest that is. “The restaurant has been busy, but that’s no problem. Besides the troll sitting themselves it’s absolutely dead. Then again, Dave did pick you up late at night, it was almost 8:30. You watch Dirk start scribbling faster, when suddenly his crayon snaps right in half. “God damn cheap ass crayon. The audience is a work in progress, but it’ll be bustling sooner or later. It’ll be bustling so hard that we’ll need seven parking lots and eight dining rooms. You’ll see.” You sure hope he was exaggerating. Eight Cracker Barrels is way too many Cracker Barrels. Dirk stands up, brushes off his ridiculous button down, and points behind him “Well, I gotta start closing up. Take your time though!” And walks off.
The rest of the evening goes as normal. You eat, laugh, and loosen the salt shaker slightly and Dave spills an excessive amount of it on his chicken tenders. You watch as Kankri flips the chairs over to place on top of the tables and Dirk does the same on the opposite side of the room. The troll who was there earlier seems to have left, and his table has been cleared minus a few spills. Although you’re having fun, it is 10:00 at night now, and you have a paper and a 9:00 am class. You look at Dave. He’s still working on his overly salty chicken tenders, probably eating them out of spite. “Hey, hate to be that guy, but I have class tomorrow.” You say, making sure you have everything you brought with you. Especially that lanyard. “Alright. Let me finish these first.” He picks up a piece of chicken and shakes it off, making the salt fall off. Dirk who is flipping over a chair right next to your table, asks, “Why don’t you guys stay, I’ll take good student kid here home.” Dave just flashes him a thumbs up, before biting into the salty breaded chicken. He licks his lips, it’s definitely salty. You get up. You shout “Thank you guys so much for tonight!” and walk to the exit with Dirk.
Dirk’s car is a Chevy Trailblazer, which is also adorned with fish decor. And not like nautical decor, like Salmon ornaments, and such. You start to twirl the one hanging on the mirror. “Oh, those, yeah. Got those as an ironic gift from one of my friends. I think they’re funny though so I keep them up.” Huh. He starts the car. The trip home is quiet minus whatever vaguely 50s music Dirk has quietly playing. However, not too long in, it looks unfamiliar. “Dirk, where are we going?” He looks to the side, “To your house?” Oh snap, he has no idea you moved. “Oh! I moved. I live on your street actually.” He pulls over, presumably to turn around. “Really? Damn, no wonder you’re over all the time. How do you like it?” He gears into reverse. “Oh, it's not bad. I’m in the blue house with the dragon statue’s on the porch.” He gears in drive and spins the steering wheel. He chuckles “Oh with Terezi and Vriska. How’s that?” you open your mouth to say something vaguely about it’s good, but you’re interrupted. “Honestly.” He says. You think for a second. You’ve been living there for two months. It's definitely not anything special. It’s not bad. Yeah, that’s a good answer.
“It’s not bad. They usually do their own thing. I go to my classes. We eat dinner together on Fridays. Sometimes Vriska drags me to her role-playing stuff.” You’re back at the intersection near the restaurant. The sign is tall. Like really tall, probably to catch the eye of highway drivers miles away. “Why did you buy the restaurant? Honestly.” The light turns green and Dirk presses on the gas. “It was cheap. I’m bored. And if I’m entirely honest I want to get to a better neighborhood.” You never felt anything was wrong with the place, but you do suppose it’s far from a lot of things. “I don’t hate my house, it’s just. I know I can do better, you know?” You don’t know, but agree anyway. The trees from before pass in and out of view again and then the houses. Dirk’s blinker flashes and as he turns the wheel he says “Well, here we are. Feel free to stay over at my place anytime though.” Like you need his permission, he’s barely there. “Thank you!” and you run up the porch and take out the lanyard to open the door. With a little fumbling of the keys, you get it open, wave to Dirk and head in.
It’s dark. You hear a faint snoring. You’d originally check in on your housemates, but you have a paper due at midnight and it’s already… 11:30?! God dammit that’s half your grade! You rush upstairs and furiously type out some bullshit paper on the history of the hemospectrum and fall asleep right after you turn it in. It was an absolutely normal, average night. But you can’t help but feel there’s a lot more to what Dirk was saying. Why was it so cheap? Why was he bored? Wasn’t he struggling to make money a month ago? Is the neighborhood even that bad? As you ask yourself these questions, you are slowly drifting into a deep sleep.