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“Don’t-“ Mickey started to say but got choked up. Or was he just scared to finish the sentence? Ian just told him that he signed up for the army, four years minimum. Four years that Ian wouldn’t be around the neighbourhood, four years that Ian wouldn’t be near him, four years that Ian wouldn’t be with him.
“Don’t what?” Ian asked, still standing in Mickey’s bedroom doorway. He couldn’t take a step inside this bedroom, not now that the love of his life shares it with his pregnant wife…
“Just-“ Mickey tried again but couldn’t get the words out. He had to push them out if he wanted Ian to stay. He didn’t want to seem like a bitch, chasing after him, asking him not to leave and to stay, to stay with him. But this is Ian…
“Fuck,” Mickey muttered and Ian started to turn away to leave. Mickey pushed the words out as hard as he could, “Don’t go.”
Ian turned back around to face Mickey. He could see the tears silently falling down Mickey’s face. Ian said, “There’s nothing for me here.”
“There’s me,” Mickey said lower than before.
Ian scoffed, “You’re married, Mickey. Why the fuck do you think I need to get out of here? You think I can just sit around and be your mistress? Fuck you while she’s fucking other guys for money? Then you come home to her, and sleep in the same bed as her, and raise a fucking kid with her. I can’t do that, not with you.”
“It’s not like I wanted to get married to her, I fucking did it to keep you safe! You think if I didn’t marry her my dad would be okay with that? That he didn’t already threaten to kill you if I didn’t marry her. He didn’t threaten me, he threatened to kill you and make me watch,” Mickey explained.
Ian stood there shocked. He knew Terry was a psychopath but he didn’t know he was the one being threatened. He figured Terry threatened to kill Mickey and that’s why he married her. He didn’t know Mickey was protecting him.
“Ian, just don’t go,” Mickey pleaded. He moved around the bed to stand in front of Ian. He said, “It’s all fucked up, I know, but, fuck,” he chocked up but tried to continue, tears still streaming down his face, “I need you.”
Ian reached his hand up tentatively. He moved his hand slowly to the side of Mickey’s face for fear that he would pull away. He didn’t and so Ian wiped away the tears with his thumb, gently stroking his face.
“I can’t stay, Mickey. How would this even work? You’re married, you live with her here. I want you all to myself. I can’t share you with her,” Ian said in all honesty, this is the most honest he’s ever been with Mickey.
“You won’t be sharing me. Ian, you’re the only one I’ve been with since we’ve started,” Mickey said motioning between them.
Ian furrowed his brows, confused he said, “But Angie Zago, the guys in juvie…?”
“It was just talk. After I saw you with that annoying fucking G.I. Jane under the bleachers and then with that old douchebag, I just said I was with others to get you jealous,” Mickey said.
When Ian didn’t say anything Mickey said, “Ian, there’s only been you.” As Mickey looked into those deep green eyes he couldn’t help but let the tears stream down his face again, thinking about not being able to see those eyes again. He said, “Please, please don’t leave me.”
Mickey was gripping onto Ian’s jacket. Mickey said again, “Please, I love you. Please don’t go.”
“What did you just say?” Ian asked completely shocked.
“I love you. I have for a long time, just haven’t been able to admit it to myself, let alone to you. After you told me to admit that I’m gay and that I love you, I couldn’t live with myself for what I did to you. I locked myself in the bathroom and cried. It hit me that I wouldn’t feel like this if I didn’t love you so fucking much. Ian, I love you, only you. It’s always been only you,” Mickey admitted.
Now Ian couldn’t help but let the tears fall from his eyes. Ian ran his hand through Mickey’s hair before pulling his face closer. Mickey brought both his hands up and grabbed Ian’s face, pressing their lips together firmly. Mickey wound his arms around Ian’s neck as Ian held his face with one hand and the other was pulling him closer by the waist. This was the first time they’ve kissed like this. All love, passion, and desperate need to be close to the other.
Ian pulled their lips apart and rested his forehead against Mickey’s. With his eyes still closed he said, “I love you so much.” Ian moved his face away from Mickey’s, looked into his eyes and said, “That’s why I can’t be here anymore. Your dad will kill us if he sees us together. Now that I know for sure how you feel about me I don’t want to hide forever. I want to be with you, Mickey.”
“Than take me with you. Not the army bullshit but let’s just leave. Just me and you,” Mickey said smiling shyly up at Ian.
“You’re going to have a kid, Mickey. You have a responsibility to the baby, you can’t just abandon it,” Ian said.
“Than we get my dad back in prison. You can’t leave for the fucking army or for any other reason unless I’m going with you. I can’t lose you,” Mickey pleaded, tears still streaming down his face.
“Alright, okay,” Ian said as he pulled Mickey to him. He wrapped his arms around the shorter boy before Mickey wound his arms tightly around Ian’s waist, with his head in the crook of his neck. Ian continued, “I’ll stay, for you.”
Mickey smiled against Ian’s neck before kissing him softly. He said, “We’ll figure it out together. I will do anything to be with you, Ian. I promise.”
They held onto each other for a few more moments before Mandy poked her head in and told them that Terry should be back soon. Ian and Mandy left to hang out, but before Ian could go Mickey kissed him again.
Later that night once Terry was passed out in his room and Svetlana was sound asleep next to him, Mickey snuck out. He entered the Gallagher home by the backdoor. Everyone was asleep so Mickey tiptoed his way upstairs. He opened the bedroom door and saw Ian laying in his single bed. The moonlight illuminating his face.
Ian turned to look at Mickey when he heard someone coming in. He whispered, “What are you doing here?” as to not disturb his sleeping brothers.
Mickey whispered back, “Shove over.” Ian smiled and did as he was told, laying down on his side. Mickey removed his pants and slid into Ian’s small bed with him. He lay with his back to Ian. Ian wrapped his arms around Mickey and held him close.
“You just here so that you can stop me from sneaking off in the morning to sign up?,” Ian whispered close to Mickey’s ear.
“Maybe,” Mickey whispered. He placed his hand over Ian’s and intertwined their fingers. He then whispered, “I was serious when I said I will do anything to be with you. Even if that means sneaking out to spoon with you in your tiny ass bed.”
Ian chuckled silently. He whispered, “I love you,” before placing a soft kiss to the back of his head.
“I love you too, Ian,” Mickey said, “Now go to sleep, shithead.”
Ian chuckled and pulled Mickey even closer to him. Mickey squeezed Ian’s hand and snuggled up close to the man he loves.