Chapter Text
Or, "How to Come Out of the Closet as a Slytherin."
Albus Potter had never felt this nervous before in his life. Every rattle and rumble as the train clattered along on its journey back to London jolted up his spine and roiled in his stomach, a cold block of icy nausea. He felt very stiff and awkward, and his lips were dry no matter how much he licked them, and the only thing that seemed to be holding him to this earth were the long, thin fingers laced tightly around his own.
He squeezed Scorpius’s hand and got a watery, sickly sort of smile in return.
“We’re almost there,” Scorpius whispered.
Albus nodded, and swallowed hard. The journey from Hogwarts to home took nearly a full day, but for the first time in five years Albus wished that the trip was longer. Because at the end of the tracks was Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, and waiting on that platform would be Albus’s mom, and his dad, and at least half of his far-too-large, sprawling family.
And Albus was afraid to face each and every one of them.
He tried to comfort himself with the fact that while Scorpius’s eagerly waiting retinue would probably only consist of two people, the other boy was still almost as anxious as Albus was, but that didn’t help much...largely because Albus was no more prepared to face the Malfoys than he was the Weasleys, no matter how many fewer they numbered.
“It’ll be okay,” Scorpius whispered, but he didn’t sound like he meant it.
Albus nodded anyway, because he knew he wasn’t the only one who wanted reassurance right now. “Of course it will,” he whispered back insincerely, and the boys shared another brief set of weak grins before they lapsed back into silence.
It had been the quietest train ride Albus had ever been on. Normally, no one could shut up, and all their friends talked at once, trying to get out every last thing they wanted to say before they all separated for the summer (or at least for the first day or so; most everyone managed to see each other at least a few times over break, but the first days always seemed long). But for this ride, he and Scorpius had dodged everyone else, unable to face their cheerful chatter when they both knew full well that they could be riding towards their doom. So they had left everyone else behind, to enjoy their babbling conversation, while the two of them sat in another compartment, alone.
Well, Rose was sitting with them, of course; Rose was almost always with them. Despite her being in Ravenclaw, and the two of them in Slytherin, the three were together much more often than not. So when he and Scorpius had decided to find a compartment of their own, away from the rest of their friends, and Rose had come along, neither of them had thought to suggest she should not.
But Rose had been quiet, too, perhaps sensing Al and Scor’s discomfort. When they all sat down she had stared across the compartment at them rather blankly, then raised a book in front of her face and barely emerged at all, even when the trolley came by with food. Albus was glad of that. He knew Rose was aware of he and Scor’s relationship, and being as clever as she was she must have guessed what had them both so nervous about going home, but he still didn’t want to talk about it with her. Fortunately, she was apparently insightful enough to sense his reluctance, and leave it alone.
Or maybe that was just a really good book.
Either way, Albus could take advantage of the silence, ignore Rose, and just wallow in his nerves. And that was a lot of nerves.
Far too soon, they were in London. The train jerked to a halt and Albus’s fingers spasmed tightly around Scorpius’s. His breath hissed in very sharply and he went so tense his nerves could have been used to cut glass. He felt like he was going to throw up.
Scorpius leaned in and laid a gentle kiss on Albus’s cheek, and every single muscle he had relaxed. “Thanks,” he breathed, and Scorpius smiled. He looked terrified, and uncannily pale, but still beautiful. “Not a problem,” Scorpius said.
Albus brushed his fingers down the side of Scorpius’s face and they shared a weary, wary grin. Then before either one of them could say anything else—before they could lose their nerve—they both scrambled to their feet and hauled their trunks down from the overhead luggage rack. On the other side of the crowded compartment, Rose was already doing the same with her own, not looking at either of them.
(Albus figured she didn’t want to risk making eye contact with Scorpius; he had a very different idea of what constituted proper behavior than she did, and bewitching their trunks to be lighter and easier to manage would have seemed utterly sensible to Scorpius, and a rules-breach of epic proportions to Rose. These days, he tended to suggest things like that in attempts to purposefully annoy her, for his own amusement. Of course he was unlikely to try and follow-through on a bit of illicit magic right before they disembarked and rejoined their parents and everyone else on the platform—and was even less likely to joke around like that right now, when his nerves were so tight, but Rose couldn’t know that he was in no mood for pranks—but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t have teased her about it, if he had been feeling more cheerful, and Rose probably wanted to avoid anything that might inspire her to deck him, not when they were about to walk out onto the train platform in front of all their families.)
Their families . Albus swallowed very hard, and wondered if he could just Apparate to Romania, and go live with Uncle Charlie and the dragons.
But no, Rose was walking out at a very brisk pace, and Scor was following her, so Albus had to do the same. His hands shook a little so he wrapped one tighter around the handle of his trunk, and stuffed the other in his pocket. If anyone noticed that he was nervous, they would want to know why, and while he and Scorpius had decided that it was time to tell their parents, the train platform was definitely not the place for that discussion.
No, those conversations had been very carefully planned out; now all Albus had to do was survive long enough to carry out those plans. He wasn’t sure what would be harder: maintaining the pretense in front of his family that there was nothing he was worrying about, or lasting a night without Scorpius’s presence.
Looking at the pale, sharp-featured blond standing next to him, Albus thought it was probably going to be the latter.