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When Derek wakes up to a familiar heartbeat, he feels like he should be angry, because what the fuck is Stiles doing in his apartment, but somewhere along the way he lost his ability to be mad at Stiles when it’s been months since he’s seen him, and just as long without any contact at all. Instead of anger, he feels…not happiness, the emotion he’s feeling is much stronger and weaker than happiness…maybe joy. He feels joy at hearing that heartbeat again. It’s a little faster than normal, and when Derek gets up and puts on some pants it jackrabbits, in a way Derek hasn’t heard in a long time. Stiles is – whatever he’s doing here, he’s nervous. Derek sighs and glances in the mirror above his dresser – a mirror Stiles had made him buy, way back then, telling him, “You can’t expect me to stay over if I can’t make sure I look good before I go out” to which Derek had replied “You always look good”. Stiles had snarked at him; “Ha ha, Sourwolf, we’re getting a mirror for here and one for the bathroom” and, of course, Derek had obliged.
Derek had obliged to a lot back then when it came to Stiles, and, he thinks as he opens the door to his bedroom, he still would. Months or not, he’s still desperately in love with Stiles.
When he gets to the living room, Stiles is sitting in one of the massive armchairs Erica had bought for him last spring, and he looks at Derek guiltily and stands when he walks in.
“Uh, good morning,” Stiles says, and his eyes flicker down to Derek’s chest for a moment before bringing them back up to his face, “Um, sorry, I just never returned the key to your loft and – ”
“You don’t have to,” Derek interrupts, “You’re still part of the pack, regardless of – us.”
Stiles purses his lips, looks down at the floor, looking downtrodden. Derek sighs, knows what he’s thinking; Stiles left in early August to move in early to his dorm at Berkeley, hasn’t been around since then at all even though the rest of the pack that went away for school – even Lydia, who’s out in Massachusetts – comes home at least every few weeks. It’s now late December, and for whatever reason, Stiles is here. Winter break, Derek thinks.
“You are, you always will be, you know that,” he continues, crosses his arms, “More importantly, though, I have to ask; what are you doing here?”
“I just…” Stiles looks back up, and he looks a little broken, a lot sad, “I got home yesterday, for break, and I just. Wanted to see you. Wanted to see if you wanted to go out for some breakfast.”
Derek pauses, searches Stiles’ face, and Stiles continues to look back at him.
“You broke up with me.”
Stiles winces, nods once.
“I didn’t. I dunno, I know I did. I just…”
Derek waits as Stiles trails off. They’re still staring at each other, and Derek can hear Stiles’ heart still hammering away, and he looks a little pale.
“You just?” he asks, because he doesn’t want to give in this easy.
“I just,” Stiles pauses again, takes a deep breath, shakes his head, “I just want you back.”
Derek pushes his lips together, swallows.
“Didn’t like the college scene as much as you thought you would?”
Stiles snorts, gives Derek a small smile.
“I had this girl in my English course ask me if I wanted to go out. I went to a couple meetings with this Doctor Who club on campus and this dude flirted with me each time. And both those times I couldn’t help but think about you. A really hot girl at this party asked me to go home with her and I turned her down because I just wanted you,” he says, then sighs.
“You broke up with me though,” Derek replies, “I thought this was what you wanted.”
“You’re all I want,” Stiles shakes his head, “Just. Just breakfast. I – god, Derek, I was in love with you for months before we even started dating, and then – like fuck did I even begin to get over you. And I realized a little bit ago that I really didn’t want to get over you, because all I ever wanted was you.”
And – Derek doesn’t know what to say, because he wants nothing more than to give in, but Stiles very much broke his heart last July. He very much broke his heart, and then didn’t bother to even try to maintain an acquaintanceship like they should have, being in the same pack and all, didn’t text or call or message Derek at all for the next few months, didn’t bother to even suggest that maybe he was wrong until now.
But Derek wants so much, and he’s been getting into the habit of not denying himself life’s pleasure.
Stiles is one of his life’s pleasures.
“Just breakfast,” he agrees, and Stiles smiles widely, “And then…if you wanna stick around, we’re having a pack meeting this afternoon. As I’m sure Scott has told you.”
Stiles shakes his head.
“Scott doesn’t know I’m back yet. I…I wanted to some see you first.”
Derek – he feels happier than he has in months, especially at those words, and he turns to go to put a shirt on, effectively hiding his smile from Stiles.
“Just breakfast”, he figures, is going to turn into something much more, and more than anything, he’s definitely happy at that.