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Feathery.
That’s the only word you can think of to describe this feeling. Waking up in the morning, completely at peace. You’re awake, but why? You were sleeping so peacefully a minute ago. Then, you feel the stirring in your belly. You smile to yourself, mindlessly placing your hand on your growing bump. Your eyes flutter open, around 7 a.m. The sunlight is bathing your bedroom in a soft orange hue through the huge windows spanning the entire wall. Your eyes trail from the window, to your lover’s sleeping form. He’s shirtless and the sun seems to make his skin glow. The sheets thrown sloppily over the lower half of his body. His hair is ruffled and looks incredibly soft.
So far away. Why is he so far away? You slide a single finger out to reach him, but just before it does you stop. You don’t want to wake him. He deserves this. You admire him a little longer. His skin stretched taut over his beautiful back muscles. The faded scar on his abdomen. Ever since he came back, he’s been sleeping further away from you. He even replaced your Queen sized mattress with a King. Always so mindful of his baby in your womb. He’d cuddle you all night, pretending to be asleep. But the second you fell asleep, he’d move away. Staring at your little face, and unbeknownst to you, whispering things to his child. He overflows with gratefulness, the war may’ve taken everything. But they didn’t take you. Nor did it take away your forgiving nature, even when he had left you to fight a battle on foreign waters. You gasp a little, when your baby kicks you particularly hard. Right in the bladder, reminding you that you have to pee. Like now. You get up to go to the bathroom, when you feel a rough hand grab your wrist.
“What’s wrong?” Levi asks, in a husky voice.
You sigh, always such a light sleeper. He’s turned to face you now, though his eyes still closed. If he hadn’t spoke to you, you’d think he was still asleep.
“Nothing.” You reply softly. “Go back to sleep.”
He loosens his grip on your wrist, and you slip away to the bathroom. He cracks an eye open to watch you, just to make sure nothing really was wrong.
When you return from the bathroom, you’re not surprised to see the bed empty and made. You sigh, biting your lip. You wish he would sleep more. You wrap your arms around yourself when you feel a sudden chill, wearing only your underwear and a tank top that covers merely half of your bump. But you don’t want more clothes, you want your lovers strong and warm arms.
You turn around and see he’s leaning on the wall at the end of the hallway, arms folded over his chest watching you with an unreadable expression and perceptive eyes. He’s waiting for you to come to him. And you do just that. He cracks a small smile when you do that makes you melt. He opens his arms and you instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, nuzzling your nose into it. He slides his hands around your waist, and rubs your back.
“Good morning.” He says.
“Good morning.” You reply quietly, getting lost in his scent, and his warmth.
He stays that way as long as you need him to. Until you pull back.
He places a hand on your cheek, after pushing a strand of hair out of the way.
“How are you? Hungry?” Levi asks.
You shake your head, running your hands through his hair and fixing it in place.
“Thought so, I made you some tea.”
You place a soft kiss on the long scar running across his cheek. Lingering there. His eyes flutter closed, savoring the feeling. Levi isn’t really a touchy feely guy. But when it came to you, he found himself wanting to hold on tight and never let go.
You look into his dark gray eyes. Reflected in them are the same love, and burning passion for you. And you almost want to say. Why did you leave me? But it was a stupid question. He’s a soldier, and he dedicated his life to seeing that war through. Even if that meant not returning to you and his unborn child.
He looks into your eyes, and he somehow knows what you’re thinking.
“I came back, didn’t I?”
You nod. “You did.”
He presses his lips to yours, softly but passionately. Desperately. He sighs, pressing your foreheads together.
“I love you.”
You gasp, feeling your breathe catch in your throat. That’s the first time he’s ever said that.
“I was too afraid to tell you before. I didn’t want to hurt you..knowing something could happen to me at anytime—“
“Levi.” You interrupt him. He didn’t need to explain himself,
“No.”
You look at his pained expression.
“I have to say this. I never gave you all of me. It was for your sake. But I don’t want to do that anymore. I’m not..I can’t promise that I won’t have to go somewhere again. Or fight an impossible fight. But I can promise that I will love you, until my last breath…even after then.” He says holding you steadily.
You're crying now, you’ve wanted to hear these words for so long. He’s finally saying them.
“I love you, y/n. I have for a while now. Before I left to go to war, before you conceived our child, before you said you loved me. I have loved you. And—” His eyes shift away from yours nervously.
“I want you to marry me.” He says getting down on one knee.
“Huh?” You whisper to yourself, out of shock.
He opens a small wooden box, revealing a sparkling pear shaped diamond. And you know he payed great attention to the detail. Like he carved it himself. It is just the most breathtaking and elegant thing you’ve ever seen.
Much like the man himself.
“Will you marry me y/n?”
“Yes.” You say immediately.
Levi releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He honestly didn’t know what you’d say, after leaving you like that.
You feel every emotion snapping inside you, happiness, fear, excitement, desire. They all come racking through your chest and pulling at your heartstrings and before you know it tears stream down your face, and Levi smiles up at you.
“Crybaby.” He whispers before slipping the ring on your finger.
He stands up, wiping the tears away from your face, before kissing the sweetest kiss on your lips.
You uncontrollably sob into the kiss. He pulls back.
“Tch.” Levi says playfully. Wiping the fresh tears away from your cheeks. “Stop that, you’ll get dehydrated.” He places a hand lovingly on your belly.
The baby kicks at the feeling of a familiar warmth. Levi’s eyes fly to where his palm is rested. He looks at you. Somehow this makes you cry even more. Levi kneels down to eye level with your stomach.
“Hey.” He whispers. “That was pretty strong.” The baby kicks again, directly in front of Levi’s face.
Levi laughs lightly. “I can’t wait to meet you.” He says pressing a kiss to your stomach and then standing up again to meet your eyes.
It takes you a few minutes to stop crying, even then you feel like you could burst at any moment. You sit at the little round coffee table, across from your…fiancé. Thats right..fiancé . Strange. You can’t wait for him to be your husband. As you sip your tea, and admire your ring moments of your future flash before your eyes. You imagine yourself walking down the aisle in the most beautiful white dress with a low back that fits perfectly around your little waist—
Little waist…
You look down on your bump, almost surprised to see it there.
“So…I have to walk down the aisle..with a big belly?”
Levi looks at you with an amused expression on his face. “That’s right.”
“There isn’t a dress in the world that fits me right now. Couldn’t we wait until they're born?”
Levi looks at you with a serious expression. “Are you implying my kid is in the way?” He jokes but with a serious tone.
You gasp. “No!”
“We’ll have the dress made.” He rolls his eyes.
Your visions are forced to change, this time you imagine yourself walking down the aisle, in a dress just as white, just as beautiful. With a long veil. Holding a bouquet of flowers above your growing belly.
“Yeah…” You smile to yourself. “That’s good.”
Levi bites back a smile. He’s never been happier than he is right now. The war refused to kill him. Even when sometimes, he thought he wanted it to. So he accepted the fact that he was meant to live. Maybe he does deserve this small happiness..
There’s a knock at the door.
“That’s Hange.” He says getting up.
“Think it’s a good time to tell them they’re gonna be a best man?”
Levi’s eyes go wide as he’s barely had time to unlock the door before it’s being flung open.
“WHO’S GONNA BE A BEST MAN? ME?!” Hange yells looking between you and Levi who is standing behind the door with an exhausted look on his face.
You smile.
“That’s right, Hange.” Levi sighs, closing the door.
“YAAAAATAAAA!” Hange yells coming over to hug you.
“Hey! Be careful.” Levi warns.
Hange is confused for a second. “O-oh! I almost forgot.” They say, looking at your stomach before hugging you gently.
They go back to sling a hand over Levi’s shoulder. “Congratulations. You deserve this.” Hange says to him. Hearing them say those words loosens something balled up in his heart.
"Thank you, Hange.”
And he’s thanking them for so much more than they know.