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jaemin was five hundred and nine when he met park jisung. ‘met’ he supposes, is the wrong word, considering jaemin killed him. accidentally, of course. it’s not like he meant to run him over.
jaemin was five hundred and nine when he ran over park jisung, and jisung was twenty one. he was a college drop out, nowhere to go, wandering the streets. it was early morning and jisung stepped out into the road as jaemin sped around the corner in his mustang.
a screech of tyres and a crack of ribs, and jisung’s body was a mangled mess on the floor.
now, usually, jaemin wouldn’t care for the life of a simple human, would simply find a place to leave the boy to die, maybe take some blood, and be on his way.
jaemin was a nomad, had never been one for covens, fake family. he had friends here and there, he drifted between them and they all knew each other through him. but jaemin never stayed, never made a home.
but when he took in jisung's soft expression something inside him, long forgotten, breaks free.
he felt remorse .
he panicked, scrambled to gather jisung's twisted limbs into his arms and shoved him into the back seat.
he scoffs in disbelief as he drives away, wondering why he just decided to pick up a stray.
long story short, he tries to save jisung's life.
long story short, he doesn't save his human life but he sinks his teeth in and starts his vampire life.
--
jaemin is five hundred and ten when he gets sick of jisung's teething habits.
the youngest hasn't stopped whining since he was turned and jaemin has taken to simply growling at him whenever he hears even a single complaint.
jisung doesn't even notice. "i'm twenty two!" he complains over the deep growl rumbling through jaemin's chest as he sits in the passenger seat, "i shouldn't have to teethe anymore!"
jaemin growls louder as he swerves into a petrol station. "wait here, fledgling ," he grinds out, very much intending insult and jisung just whines back.
he's like thunder as he rips through the aisles of the store, meeting the eyes of the teenage cashier, who's ringing up his questionable shopping choices. he raises an eyebrow, dares her to make a comment.
the preppy idiot makes a comment anyway, "you have kids?" she asks and it's shaky, clearly just meant as a way for her to alleviate the awkward air between them as jaemin stands in silence.
the vampire scoffs.
"yeah, something like that."
he gets back to the car and all but throws his little present straight into jisung's face.
jisung glares at the offending object, then back at him.
jaemin chuckles, "you said you were teething!" he defends, reaching to rip open the plastic container for jisung, who simply watches in disbelief.
"i'm not a baby!" jisung whines when jaemin hands him a bright red teething ring, a wide grin spreading across his face. "don't smile like that," jisung grumbles, taking the ring despite his protest, "shows off your stupid pretty canines that aren't trying to rip your gums apart."
they've been on the road again, driving for ten minutes, when jaemin explains, "it does help, you know, the ring. you've only got a few months 'til it stops, anyway."
"what are you?" jisung's pouting as he stares ahead, to the road in front of them, "a vampire dentist?"
jaemin doesn't answer. doesn't really need to since the next stop (and where they'll be staying until the teething stops) is renjun's very real vampire dental practice.
he can't wait to see jisung's look of defeat when he greets dr. huang.
and if, in the meantime, he notices the fledgling begin to gnaw at the teething ring, he doesn't mention it either.
so long as he's not whining anymore.
--
jaemin is five hundred and twenty five and jisung is thirty seven when jisung leaves.
it's not jaemin, not at all, the younger insists. he makes sure he's very clear of the fact.
"it's not that you're not great company, hyung," jisung says, after explaining his plans to jaemin over dinner at jaemin's favourite steak joint. (they both, of course, have chosen blue steak.)
jaemin rolls his eyes at jisung's attempt to soothe him. "oh please, don't spare my feelings, park jisung." he bites out, "if i were great company you wouldn't want to go."
"jaemin…"
"no. tell me the real reason why you want to go. stop trying to…" he shudders, "soothe me."
jisung runs a hand through dull orange hair in frustration. "hyung, i am telling you the truth. i just think i need to… try this alone. i've been a vampire for sixteen years and all i know is the passenger seat of the mustang, random hotel rooms that i still don't understand how we afford and whatever supernatural pal you decide to link up with this month."
jisung sighs, deep, heavy, like he's trying to breathe the guilt out of his chest. "and that has been fine, it really has. but i have a chance to see the world, like i never could when i was a human. i can afford to take risks, i can afford to lose myself before i find the real me again and i need to do that alone, hyung. you understand that, right?"
jaemin doesn't say anything.
jaemin eats his steak as though he hadn't even heard jisung speak.
jaemin leans back in his chair, calm and collected as jisung leaves the restaurant, walking past the mustang and into the night.
jaemin cries for the first time since he died, into the steering wheel of his mustang, staring at the seat usually occupied by park jisung.
--
jaemin is five hundred and twenty eight when he finds himself a werewolf to play with.
jaehyun is twenty five and everything about him screams sex.
jaemin tastes him eagerly, licking into his mouth as the other yanks jaemin's smaller frame into his lap.
there's nothing delicate or sweet or caring about how jaehyun treats jaemin.
jaehyun shoves him to the floor, pulling his hair as jaemin sucks him in.
on the other side, there's nothing polite or subtle or loving about how jaemin treats jaehyun.
jaemin leaves bites all over, tastes the bitter ab positive on his tongue as he uses every inch of jaehyun's body as his own personal blood bag.
jaehyun's rough, calloused hands feel like sandpaper again jaemin's delicate skin. he pants into jaemin's ear as he fucks into him, over and over until jaemin is a babbling mess underneath him.
jaehyun doesn't treat him delicately, he throws him around, talks filth in his ear, tells him he's nothing. has jaemin whining and pleading under him like a little bitch as he gets rougher and rougher.
it's what jaemin wants.
he wants the mean, unpredictable, aggressive treatment that jaehyun provides him.
he wants to be told he's worthless, he wants to be used.
because anything else and he remembers the way jisung used to blush if their hands so much as brush.
anything else, and he remembers the way jisung would sneak into his hotel room so he could cuddle him to sleep. so much so, that jaemin stopped even trying to buy him his own room.
anything else and he forgets that jisung's been gone for three years, that he hasn't heard anything that wasn't a brief update on the young vampire's life from their friends.
jisung knows him well enough that he seems able to make sure their schedules don't overlap (even with jaemin's new friend added to the equation.) and jaemin's given up trying to see jisung too.
he feels the empty space with jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun until his brain is clouded with the smell of sweat, so much so that he doesn't need to think about jisung.
jaehyun is nothing like jisung and it's very much on purpose because it means that jaemin never replaced jisung, means jisung's still number one in his heart.
--
jaemin is five hundred and thirty when he finally admits he misses jisung.
he's at jeno and mark's place, lying back on the couch as his oldest friend nags at him to settle down.
"you really need to stop this vagabond, living in your car, crashing at your fuckbuddy's house lifestyle, jaemin." jeno scolds as he takes a sip of the o negative he's swirling in his pretentious wine glass. "you're not getting any younger, you know."
jaemin stares at jeno in disbelief, "i mean, i'm not getting any older either, jeno, that's kind of the point."
mark snorts from where he's playing the piano, though he cringes when he catches jeno's eye, "he's got a point, love," he reasons, "that wasn't the best argument."
"who's side are you on?" jeno grumbles, flicking mark's ear as he breezes past.
jaemin gags at mark's dreamy gaze as he sighs out, "yours love, always."
"gross." jaemin wrinkles his nose, throwing his head back to stare at the ceiling. "i didn't come here to be attacked by the cringe patrol."
jeno's stupid grinning face eclipses jaemin's view, "oh yeah? why are you here, then?" he teases, "more updates on a certain fledgling you refuse to talk to yourself?"
jaemin's throat dries dramatically.
"don't know who you're talking about," jaemin denies, simply closing his eyes to stop jeno's annoyingly genuine smile that always helps him wiggle his way into jaemin's mind.
"he's back in town, you know," mark says, so wistfully it almost seems as though he's not talking to jaemin at all. "was staying with renjun and yangyang last i heard. they said he's thinking of settling down for real this time."
jaemin shakes his head, even as his mind screams at him not to take the bait. "he won't stay," he rasps out, blinking to hold in the acid rain that threatens to pour from his eyes.
"he never stays."
jeno has the decency to look guilty when jaemin abruptly leaves mere moments later, barely there excuses tumbling from his mouth.
jaemin has to sit in the driveway to compose himself before he drives away.
he reaches into the glove compartment to find some tissue but instead he pulls out a faded red teething ring, gnaw marks absolutely coating the plastic.
jaemin has to sit in the driveaway a lot longer than he thought.
--
jaemin is still five hundred and thirty when jisung comes home.
jaemin's mustang pulled over, in the middle of nowhere, attempting to nap in the back seat. he's been driving around for days, actively avoiding everyone. so much so, he threw his phone out of the window three days ago because renjun's incessant calling was pissing him off.
he's not even bothering to sleep in hotels anymore, the backseat of the mustang suffices well enough for him.
he's done a lot of thinking since he left jeno's house that day. thought about his life, what he's missed out on, what he needs.
he thinks about settling down, but it feels wrong. the idea of being in a house all alone feels wrong, like it's not the final piece of the puzzle. jaemin knows he wants it, concluded it days ago, yet something holds him back.
there's three soft taps on the window.
jaemin opens his eyes.
and there he is. park jisung, in all his glory, hair now the same colour purple as a grape sucker. jaemin wants to say he looks stupid, but his mouth is too busy gaping at the younger vamp.
he regains his composure quickly. "what are you doing here?"
jisung winces at jaemin's sharp tone, but tries to play it off as a shrug. he perches himself in the passenger seat and shifts so he can look back at jaemin.
jaemin tries not to look at him, because it's almost like he can trick himself into believing he never left.
"renjun's pissed, you know." jisung says softly, "you should stop avoiding his calls."
"i'm not avoiding his calls!" jaemin argues, then at jisung's skeptically raised eyebrow he whines, "i'm seriously not! not anymore anyway!"
"then why aren't you answering him?"
"can't answer him, if you don't have a phone." jaemin taps his forehead mockingly, trying not to grin when he hears jisung laugh fondly. "i'll go see him later, i just needed to think."
"about what?"
"life."
"that's a lot to think about."
jaemin hums, sits up as he does so he can stare at jisung with a tilted head. "i thought about you a lot." he admits, voice barely above a whisper.
jisung smiles sadly, whispers back, "i always think about you."
"you're the one that left." jaemin says bitterly, "you're the one that decided i wasn't good enough for you, wasn't exciting enough."
"that's not-"
"i cried. the night that you left, i cried so hard i couldn't drive, ended up sleeping curled up in your seat. i kept it all in so your decision wouldn't be affected by me and you still left . you chose to leave, because that was better than the alternative."
"hyung, please."
"why wasn't i good enough for you?"
"you were." jisung admits, eyes downcast. "you were more than good enough. i regretted leaving the moment i did, but then i felt like i had to prove something so…"
"you stayed away?"
"yeah…"
jaemin sighs, lays his head back against the headrest behind him, "you really hurt me, jisung."
"i know," jisung whispers, "and i'm sorry, hyung, i'm so sorry."
jaemin doesn't know when jisung climbed between the front seats, but suddenly he's there in front of him, noses almost touching as the younger starts babbling out nearly incoherent apologies as tears begin to fall.
jaemin wants to be petty. wants to tell jisung to shut up and get the fuck out of his car. but, god, he missed jisung so much and here he is.
and jaemin kind of wants to kiss him, too.
so instead he wordlessly gathers jisung into his lap. he grazes his hand across jisung's cheeks, wipes away the needless tears, hushes the younger as he gently forces him to meet his eyes.
jisung gasps as his wide, curious eyes lock onto jaemin's tired ones, strings of apologies dying on his tongue as he takes in jaemin's uncharacteristically warm smile.
there's so much they need to say, confessions that should be made, unsaid words flying between them.
but for now, jaemin's content to lean forward, brush their lips together in a barely there kiss that makes jisung shiver in jaemin's hold. "this okay?" jaemin asks, and it's soft, unlike jisung's ever heard from the usually grumpy older.
"more than okay." jisung confirms, taking the initiative and surging forwards for a real kiss.
it's desperate, clingy, jisung letting out little whines into jaemin's mouth. jaemin groans, pulls jisung impossibly closer as the younger grazes his teeth along jaemin’s lips, drawing out blood and making the kiss all the more sweeter.
"you hungry?" jaemin teases against his mouth as jisung licks a line across the new wound.
"not for blood," jisung mumbles, reattaching their lips into another kiss.
it's kind of awkward, jisung's far to tall, head hitting the ceiling of the car every few minutes. the kisses are all teeth, because neither of them can stop smiling and jisung's far too fixated on sinking his fangs into jaemin's swollen lips.
they pull back, staring at each other for a moment. "man," jaemin says, "sixteen years of companionship and it takes you fucking off for five years before you finally kiss me."
"i like taking things slow," jisung smirks. jaemin runs his hands softly up jisung's thigh, snickering when the smirk immediately drops from his face.
"a bit too slow for me." jaemin says, and they take a moment to revel in the quiet contentment that washes over them.
jisung bites his own lip, one of his fang protruding cutely over it. "hyung, can i come home?"
jaemin snorts, "what home? all we do is drive the mustang around until we get bored and crash wherever we can find.”
jisung doesn’t need to say anything else, because jaemin already knows. still, the younger confirms, “you’re my home, hyung, let me come home.”
jaemin’s five hundred and thirty years old when he realises he’s hopelessly in love with park jisung, and has been since he killed him twenty one years ago.