Chapter Text
It is a joyous day in the Kingdom of Gusu. Wei Ying started labor in the first hours of the morning, meaning that the kingdom is about to welcome a new generation of the royal family, diminished years ago when Wen Ruohan and his army massacred the entire court, the King, and even the heir to the throne. The next King will also be a Lan, even if it’s only a nephew or niece of the current king, Lan Xichen.
The atmosphere inside the castle is unbearable. The servants go around making sure that Wei Ying and Lan Wangji are comfortable on their feather bed; the guards exchange glances and the royal doctor stands by in case of trouble. However, the parents are alone, except for the occasional servant who dares to enter the room to ask them if they need something.
"Everything will be fine, A-Cheng," Lan Xichen says after watching his husband pacing in the hall outside his brother and his brother-in-law’s rooms for a while. Lan Xichen walks over to Jiang Cheng to put his arm around his shoulders, trying to reassure him, although he’s worried as well. Jiang Cheng knows it just by looking at Lan Xichen’s frown.
Jiang Cheng nods, yet his worried scowl doesn't disappear from his features. Not only is he worried about his brother, he’s also worried about the babies. He can't help but think about Lan Xiang, who never saw the light of day, so he wishes that his nieces or nephews will have a safe delivery with all his might.
Lan Xichen understands his husband's fear and he would like to do something for Jiang Cheng besides hugging him, but before anything comes to mind, the door to Lan Wangji and Wei Ying's rooms finally opens. A white cat with short but shiny fur and cold, golden eyes emerges from it, inviting them to follow him.
Jiang Cheng follows in his footsteps, shaking off his husband's arm without being aware of doing so. He’s the first to see Wei Ying in human form, lying on a bed of feathers and pillows, with three chubby babies crying incessantly next to him. The kids don't have feathers yet and maybe other people might find them ugly, all red and with their bodies covered in white substance, but Jiang Cheng is relieved that they’re fine. The white cat soon joins them in the bed, curling around the nest so that Wei Ying protects it with his arm on one side while Lan Wangji keeps it warm from the other.
“Is everything...?” Jiang Cheng is at a loss for words.
"Yes, all good," Wei Ying smiles from the bed. “Come, A-Cheng, don't you want to meet them? You too, Lan Xichen.”
Only then does Jiang Cheng become aware of his husband’s presence by his side and he has little time to react without startling in response when Lan Xichen takes him by the hand, offering his support. Thanks to the warmth of Lan Xichen's hand, Jiang Cheng feels brave enough to approach the bed and take a closer look at the babies.
"Congratulations," Lan Xichen says, breaking the silence.
"Thank you, thank you," Wei Ying says, noticing how moved Jiang Cheng is. He had assured Wei Ying that he was fine and that he was happy for them on more than one occasion, something Wei Ying doesn’t doubt, but he knows how much the loss of his only son still hurts him; seeing his children must be like pouring vinegar on his wound.
"Who was born first?" Jiang Cheng finally dares to sit on the very edge of the bed.
"This one I think," Wei Ying says, pointing to the baby in the middle. “What do you think, Lan Zhan? The one on the left?”
Jiang Cheng never ceases to be amazed by his brother's ability to communicate with the always taciturn Lan Wangji, especially considering their disastrous beginning, but the fact that Wei Ying can understand the cat’s look and translate it into words is beyond ridiculous. In the end, Wei Ying shrugs.
“I'm not sure. For now, they all look the same. Although they were born within minutes of each other, so you will have to choose the heir…”
Wei Ying realizes his mistake as soon as Jiang Cheng turns pale, but doesn’t know how to save the moment.
“Have you decided their names yet?” asks Lan Xichen, so used to intervening in tense situations.
"Yes, we have some ideas for names, but we want to know them better before deciding, so I'll be calling them thing one, thing two, and thing three until then,” Wei Ying says, pointing at them with his index finger. “I'm sure I won't even know which is which.”
"You're a fool," Jiang Cheng smiles despite himself. “but I'm very happy for you. Congratulations.”
Wei Ying squeezes his brother's hand, yet Jiang Cheng is not looking at him but at the babies. His gaze is full of tenderness, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Lan Xichen, making him feel a twinge of pain deep inside of his chest. If only he hadn't been so quick to break the bond between them, maybe...
"Well, we'd better get going so you can rest," Jiang Cheng says, standing up to go to his husband's side. “If you need anything, feel free to tell us. Shall we go, Lan Huan?”
"Send in Uncle Qiren at once," Wei Ying says before they can leave the place. “I hope that once he sees his grandchildren, he will like me a little bit.”
"I doubt it," Jiang Cheng says, but he welcomes the man in with a bow. His countenance looks so different now that Lan Xichen wonders if he imagined the longing in his eyes.
Jiang Cheng looks as poised as ever, walking with his chin up and majestic yet feline steps to the gardens with Lan Xichen behind him.
"A-Cheng, wait," Lan Xichen says before the door that leads outside. New vegetation has grown where there was only ash, although the trees will take much longer to reach their former splendor. Lan Xichen doubts that he will ever see it, although perhaps his brother's children and their children will.
"What is it, Lan Huan?" Jiang Cheng asks, turning to look at him. “I thought you'd go to the Throne Hall, don't you have a court meeting soon?”
"Yes, but…”
Jiang Cheng takes Lan Xichen's face in his hands, turning it in all directions as if searching for some imperfection.
"Are you okay, Lan Huan?"
Until that moment, Lan Xichen hadn’t realized that he was holding his breath, trying to prevent the sadness in his chest from overflowing, but his husband's words, his gaze between tender and concerned, and the way Jiang Cheng caresses his cheekbones are enough to make Lan Xichen’s eyes fill with tears.
“A-Cheng…”
"Don't apologize, Lan Huan," Jiang Cheng says, perfectly guessing his husband's thoughts as they echo his own. “All that is in the past. We have rebuilt our home and we are happy, right? Besides, we already have kids, so don't worry about me.”
Lan Xichen nods, but before retiring to fulfill his duties as king, he embraces his husband tightly, hiding his face in the crook of Jiang Cheng's neck to breathe in his scent. Lan Xichen wishes he could give Jiang Cheng what he craves, what they both crave: to have a lot of black panthers or white kittens running around, perhaps with his husband's eyes, gray as the mist that covers the mountain, or with his knack for painting and instruments. Although it’s impossible, Jiang Cheng is right. They are already parents of many kids with different personalities, regardless of whether they carry their blood or not.
"Thank you, A-Cheng."
"There’s no need to thank me," Jiang Cheng says, wiping the tears from Lan Xichen’s eyes before they slide down his cheeks. Then he adjusts the collar of his husband’s robe, combs his hair with his fingers, and fixes the gold crown over it. “I love you, Lan Huan, and I'm happy with you, I don't need anything else. Now, go to your meeting, will you? See you later.”
Jiang Cheng gives Lan Xichen a quick kiss before walking into the gardens, where Lan Jingyi immediately ambushes him; however, Lan Xichen doesn’t leave immediately, spellbound by the scene before his eyes: his husband and his son playing chase throughout the gardens, laughing and calling out to the other children with their laughter to join their game.
Lan Xichen sighs before turning around.
Jiang Cheng is a magnificent father.
.
It’s late when Lan Xichen closes the door behind him, stepping into the darkness of his rooms. He walks on his tiptoes, displaying his feline ability to not wake up his husband, but he realizes that his precautions are unnecessary when he finds Jiang Cheng still awake and waiting for him.
Jiang Cheng watches him from the bed, propped up on one elbow and with a light blanket on top that outlines the contour of his hips and doesn’t quite cover his bare feet. Moonlight enters through a skylight above the bed—one of many changes made while the castle was being rebuilt—making the use of candles unnecessary.
Jiang Cheng smiles at Lan Xichen, cat ears pricked up to detect even the slightest noise.
"Good work today, husband," Jiang Cheng says, calling Lan Xichen to bed with a wave of his hand. “Come, let me spoil you a bit, won’t you? You must be very tired.”
Lan Xichen assumes his animal form halfway to the bed, so when he lands on it, he’s a fluffy, white cat that can’t stop purring. Jiang Cheng’s eyes soften when they land on him, unable to feel anything but tenderness every time his husband, the King of Gusu, transforms into a helpless and lovable kitten who likes to be scratched underneath the chin. Jiang Cheng runs his hand up and down the white cat's back, marveling at the silkiness of his fur, and the white cat responds with short meows to claim more of his attention.
"Lan Huan, if you want to kiss me, transform back first," Jiang Cheng says when he feels the cat's rough tongue lick his cheek. Usually, Lan Xichen can stay in his animal form for a long time to let Jiang Cheng pamper him, one of the few instances in which he can let himself be vulnerable. For others, he’s the King and must be unshakable, but Jiang Cheng's invitation makes him return to his human form immediately. “Wow, I thought you'd rather sleep on my lap as usual.”
Lan Xichen, now lying beside Jiang Cheng, reaches out to touch his husband's cheek.
"I think I prefer a kiss for now."
"You're so corny," Jiang Cheng complains, but he obediently reaches out to brush his husband's lips. His hand slides down the collar of Lan Xichen's dark blue robe as he parts his lips, deepening the kiss while he draws Lan Xichen to him by placing his hand on his hip.
Jiang Cheng breaks the kiss before it can go any further.
"May I braid your hair?" he asks, looking straight into Lan Xichen's eyes. Soon his husband will turn thirty years old, and every day, he grows more handsome, leaving behind his slightly boyish features to give way to a majestic face full of wisdom. “I promised to pamper you, remember?”
Jiang Cheng pretends to ignore the mischievous gleam in his husband's gaze as he considers other ways Jiang Cheng could pamper him and sits up in bed. The blanket he covered himself with moments ago slides into his lap, revealing his deep purple silk pajamas, open just enough to reveal part of his chest.
Lan Xichen would love to slide his hand under the cloth and feel the warmth of his husband's skin underneath his fingers, but he restrains himself because he senses that Jiang Cheng wants to tell him something; therefore, Lan Xichen sits very upright on the bed with his back to Jiang Cheng and lets him remove his crown and brush his hair for him before starting to braid it with deft fingers. Jiang Cheng takes the first strands from Lan Xichen's temples, taking advantage of the closeness of the gesture to kiss his husband’s head, another award for how hard he works.
It doesn’t take long for Lan Xichen to start purring under his breath as he feels Jiang Cheng's fingers on his scalp, massaging it to ease the discomfort of wearing the heavy crown all day, with its sparkling blue and white jewels. Then Jiang Cheng ties Lan Xichen’s hair with a purple ribbon, which contrasts vividly with his white hair, and finally hugs him from behind, resting his chin on one of Lan Xichen's shoulders as he wraps both arms around his torso.
Lan Xichen places his hands on Jiang Cheng's and tilts his head so that their cheeks touch.
"What is it, my love?"
"Nothing," Jiang Cheng says. “Can't I spoil you once in a while?”
On any other day, Lan Xichen wouldn't have disputed his husband's words, but he doesn't think it's a coincidence that Jiang Cheng seems a bit melancholic on the day his nephews were born. Lan Xichen shares the feeling, that contradiction between the joy of knowing his brother is happy and the sadness of knowing that they can’t have kids. Lan Xichen’s old guilt eats him away, even though Jiang Cheng has assured him time and time again that he doesn’t hold him responsible for what happened, and also because Lan Xichen has to admit that he feels a bit envious of his brother’s happiness.
Lan Xichen closes his eyes as if he could escape from those dark feelings that he shouldn't feel but are still there, reminding him of his humanity.
"It will be A-Yi's twelfth birthday soon," Jiang Cheng says, breaking the silence. “And I was thinking…”
Lan Xichen feels vile for wanting more than he has. Jingyi is a bright and happy boy, a very important part of his soul and life. Lan Xichen adores him as if he were his biological son; he loves the way the boy bends the rules without breaking them, his easy affection, and his unwavering loyalty. Jingyi always makes sure that Lan Xichen takes a break while attending to the kingdom’s affairs (whether planned or not), breaking the monotony of court sessions by entering the Throne Hall dragging a kite or covered in mud.
On more than one occasion, Lan Xichen has preceded court sessions with Jingyi sitting between him and Jiang Cheng, the kid busy coloring pictures or reviewing his calligraphy lessons. Lan Xichen wouldn't trade those moments for anything in the world. Jingyi is not only his support but also Jiang Cheng's, keeping him company most of the time. The other children trust Jingyi; they follow him as if he were a little king despite his young age, but even with all those qualities, the kingdom’s people will never accept him as the heir because of his common blood.
Lan Xichen loves his son—he loves all of his children—but he wants more .
"Maybe we should try, A-Cheng?" Lan Xichen asks, interrupting his husband in the middle of a sentence.
"Getting a baby dragon for A-Yi?" Jiang Cheng asks in turn, thinking that Lan Xichen has paid attention to his words. “But they don't exist…”
"Having a baby again," Lan Xichen points out.
Jiang Cheng lets go of his husband and Lan Xichen turns to look at him. Jiang Cheng's expression is full of confusion and disbelief as if Lan Xichen were playing a bad joke on him. To reassure him, Lan Xichen takes his husband’s hands, kneeling in front of him.
"You know we can't, Lan Huan," Jiang Cheng says in a small voice. “We haven't exactly taken any precautions in all these years, and yet…” Jiang Cheng's face twitches, making Lan Xichen hate himself for causing him so much pain once again.
"Perhaps we should try harder," Lan Xichen tries to joke, his smile barely a shadow. “You know, like in those first days together. We used to do it nonstop back then, it was to be expected that you…”
Lan Xichen shakes his head, he doesn't want to bring up that topic now.
"It's been seven years, A-Cheng, maybe we've finally healed?"
Jiang Cheng places his hand on his belly unconsciously.
" I want to have children with you, A-Cheng," Lan Xichen says, cradling his husband's face in his hands.
Jiang Cheng looks at him with tear-filled eyes.
“I want it too. You don't even know how much,” Jiang Cheng confesses, remembering the image that came to his mind when he saw Wei Ying protecting his children with Lan Wangji. Jiang Cheng had imagined himself in the same position (though instead of three chubby babies, there was a litter of white cats between him and Lan Xichen).
"Would you like to try, then?" Lan Xichen asks very quietly, leaning his forehead against his husband's. “We won't know if we don't try, but if you don't feel comfortable with the idea, I'll respect your decision, A-Cheng.”
Jiang Cheng sighs deeply before nodding.
"Yes," he says, letting his hands roam through the folds of his husband's robe. “Yes, I want to try, Lan Huan.”
Lan Xichen kisses Jiang Cheng to seal the pact, sweetly and softly, as if he were opening a lotus flower to breathe in its scent. For a moment, they look at each other, but unable to bear the silence any longer, Lan Xichen asks:
"Do you want to start now?"
"I thought you were tired," Jiang Cheng says, raising an eyebrow.
"Never for you," the man says, tugging at his sash with expertise and tossing it aside. His robe opens immediately, sliding off his shoulders and down his arms, exposing his broad chest. “I wanted to make you mine tonight anyway.”
"Ah, so you made me fall for your trap, huh?" Jiang Cheng asks before leaning in to place a wet kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. Then he lifts his eyes, framed by long lashes, in an invitation tinged with defiance. “You always have me wrapped around your finger, husband. I hope you take care of our kids too.”
“Of course.”
Lan Xichen kisses Jiang Cheng again, laying him on the soft bed. Although everyone in the castle is used to hearing them at night, it’s the first time in a while that they don’t stop until dawn.
.
Hope can be a beautiful thing. Thanks to it, they could rebuild the castle and make the kingdom flourish once again, as they never stopped working for a better life for their people and themselves; however, it is also a double-edged sword. The more you wait , the more hope you deposit on an idea, the harder it is when you don’t see any results.
Jiang Cheng had already experienced that horrible sensation in the weeks after Lan Xiang's death when he and Lan Xichen had tried to conceive another heir to no avail. Although at that time, what had moved them was despair rather than hope, bringing them to the brink of their marriage. Perhaps that’s why now it hurts much more because they’re driven by the desire to be parents and the sweet lies that they whisper to each other at night only make everything worse.
They've been trying for a couple of weeks. At first, they did it with enthusiasm, enjoying each other's bodies as in those early days of their youth, but now, after several weeks of the royal doctor taking Jiang Cheng's pulse without finding anything, making love seems more like an obligation than what it is—an act of love. The idea makes Jiang Cheng remember that the same thing happened seven years earlier, amidst the tragedy that shook Gusu. They had reduced that act of love between them, that intimacy, to their biological components, sometimes skipping the foreplay to go directly to insemination, distancing themselves from each other in the process. Jiang Cheng doesn't want it to happen again.
"Lan Huan," Jiang Cheng calls him one night while they’re in bed, stepping back to prevent his husband from deepening the kiss. Lan Xichen, however, interprets Jiang Cheng’s gesture as a challenge, a little game, and charges again, tugging at Jiang Cheng's lower lip with his teeth as he absentmindedly rubs one of his asscheeks. “Lan Huan.”
“Mm? What is it, my heart?”
Lan Xichen's eyes are narrowed and fixed on Jiang Cheng's lips, wet from his saliva; however, something in Jiang Cheng’s silence makes him meet his gaze, filled with a sadness that Lan Xichen hadn’t seen for years. Lan Xichen immediately forgets about his plans for the rest of the evening.
"A-Cheng?"
"I'm sorry," Jiang Cheng says, feeling his husband's chest appreciatively over the satin fabric of his nightwear. “Can we just sleep for today?”
"Sure," Lan Xichen says, but he knows that's not the point. He doesn't mind not being able to sleep with his husband that night, but he wants to find out what Jiang Cheng’s hiding behind that sad face. “May I ask what happened, A-Cheng? You look sad. Did I do something wrong? Did something happen? Talk to me, please.”
"It's not because of you," Jiang Cheng says after sighing. “You’re still as attractive as ever, my husband, and you know how much I like to feel you inside me,” he adds, making Lan Xichen flush despite all the time they have been together. “but I don't want it to happen again. I don’t want it to become a routine,” he points out when he notices Lan Xichen’s confused face. “I want to want you and I want you to want me back, not going to bed only to try to conceive. We can't, Lan Huan.”
Jiang Cheng struggles to hold in the tears welling up in his eyes, but a single smile from Lan Xichen conveys to him that he can cry openly. Lan Xichen caresses Jiang Cheng’s shoulder and then moves up to his cheek to feel his husband’s tears on his fingers. Lan Xichen feels stupid for not noticing how worried Jiang Cheng has been the past days. Of course, Lan Xichen had noticed his husband’s forced smile while the royal doctor examined his pulse and then shook his head with regret, but he never believed that Jiang Cheng’s pain was so deep.
"My love..." Lan Xichen starts to say, although he doesn't know how to soothe Jiang Cheng.
"We let ourselves be carried away by the birth of our nephews, we thought we could..." Jiang Cheng angrily wipes his tears away with the back of his hand. It’s ridiculous how that old pain is still so strong so many years later as if it had never left. “Let's forget it, yes? We cannot have children, Lan Huan. Why would things be any different now than they were before?”
Lan Xichen is crying too when he draws Jiang Cheng closer, sheltering him in his arms. Everything about Jiang Cheng is familiar to him, from his ecstatic face to those moments where he’s so vulnerable that he can't do anything but cry. They have grown old together after all—they overcame a war, lost a son, and rebuilt a kingdom together. They chose each other.
"Forgive me, my love," Lan Xichen says, stroking Jiang Cheng's head, letting his fingers run through his long black hair. “Sorry, it was never my intention to make you suffer when I proposed to try again.”
“I know.”
"I thought... I also hoped..." Only by putting it into words does Lan Xichen realize how much it pains him to realize that their dreams will never come true. Up until that moment, he had clung to the hope of conceiving a child with his husband with all his might. Lan Xichen had refused to see the signs; he had ignored the doctor's words thinking that they just needed more time (as if seven years hadn’t been long enough) to not accept the truth. Jiang Cheng had seen it before him.
"I know, Lan Huan," Jiang Cheng says, hugging him tighter so that his voice sounds a bit muffled. “I don't blame you, nor am I mad at you. You have nothing to apologize for, but I think it’s about time that we accept the truth once and for all.”
“Yes.”
"We can't have children."
"No," Lan Xichen confirms between hiccups.
Jiang Cheng manages to look Lan Xichen in the eye.
"But we are happy, right?" he says, a hint of doubt in his voice.
Lan Xichen nods.
“We rebuilt Gusu, our people have normal lives again, we haven’t gone to war against Qishan…”
"We have a family," Lan Xichen adds, referring to Jingyi and the others. “We have each other.”
It’s Jiang Cheng's turn to nod.
"We will be fine, as we have been until now."
There's nothing more to say. As they drift into a peaceful sleep, Jiang Cheng begins to think about all the toys, clothes, and utensils he bought over the past few weeks, when he still hoped everything would turn out okay. Jiang Cheng will give them to Wei Ying little by little because he doesn’t want to raise suspicions that he bought them for himself (although by now, Wei Ying must suspect something), but luckily his brother has three children, so anything extra will always be welcomed.
Jiang Cheng wonders if his nephews will like the rattle he bought the day after deciding to try to conceive one more time. It’s designed for feline children, who tend to prefer sounds and movement over appearance, so Jiang Cheng is not sure if they will like it. Crows prefer shiny things, like gold coins, but if he doesn't give it to them, it'll end up forgotten in a corner.
Jiang Cheng falls asleep with an absurd image in his head. He’s sitting on the floor of his brother's room with a boy with black hair and golden eyes watching him intently. Instinctively, Jiang Cheng understands that this is one of his nephews, even though he was born not long ago yet he looks around two years old. The little boy's eyes are as unassailable as those of his father, Lan Wangji, but Jiang Cheng is not intimidated by them. He smiles, waving the rattle he bought for his children in the air so that it makes a musical sound and gets a giggle from the boy in return.
“Would you like to try?” Jiang Cheng asks before handing the little boy the rattle.
The boy nods, closing his small hand around the toy’s handle and shaking it. Jiang Cheng watches him with a smile on his lips, thinking that even though he can’t have children of his own, he can try to be a good uncle and also pour all his love into his adoptive kids, but while he’s thinking this, his nephew doesn’t miss the opportunity to get up and run.
“Wait!” Jiang Cheng says, jumping to his feet. Something tells him that Lan Wangji will be furious if he knows that Jiang Cheng left his son unsupervised, no matter how much the little boy was at fault. “Wait, _______!” Jiang Cheng knows that the little boy has a name, he must have one, but in his dream, he can’t pronounce it; it doesn’t matter, though, because the sound of the bell inside the toy will be enough to locate him.
Jiang Cheng goes out into the hall. The corridor is empty even though there should be guards posted every few meters. Only the flickering of the torches as he walks past accompany him as he sharpens his ears to detect the sound of the bell. The castle is huge, so much so that he could spend hours exploring it without finding his nephew (and that's not counting the gardens), but the magic of the dream tells him exactly where to go.
Jiang Cheng comes to a fork that opens in three different directions. If he continues straight, he will reach the Throne Room. If he takes the one on the left, he will go to the library. Finally, if he takes the one on the right, he will go to the kitchens. In theory, his nephew can’t enter the Throne Hall due to his age, so it would make more sense to find him in the kitchens, gobbling all kinds of goodies just like Wei Ying would, but Jiang Cheng’s intuition tells him that this is the correct road.
Since the torches are lit, Jiang Cheng guesses that it’s late (although he cannot pinpoint how late). There are no windows near the Throne Hall as a precaution against another possible invasion, but even if the court was still in full session, no one would even blink if they saw him enter. Over the years, the guards and courtesans have grown used to Jiang Cheng’s presence alongside his husband. Sometimes Jiang Cheng sits on the throne next to Lan Xichen's, cross-legged as he leans in protectively to Lan Xichen, and other times he forgoes all courtesy, stretching out in panther form in front of the throne, challenging the whole world to try and hurt the love of his life with him there before him.
At worst, Jiang Cheng will find the court discussing some important issue and at best, he will find his husband alone, bent over a pile of documents that need his approval. (Although considering that his nephew fled in that direction and Jiang Cheng hasn’t seen him come back, Lan Xichen is likely playing with him, all his duties forgotten.)
Jiang Cheng hears the bell again in the distance and quickens his pace. It seems that his nephew is running because it doesn’t stop ringing, so he prepares to open the door to the Throne Hall and find his husband chasing after him laughing. Just thinking about it makes Jiang Cheng smile; he may never have children, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t be able to see the softer side of Lan Xichen with his nephews and adoptive kids.
When he opens the door, Jiang Cheng finds the Throne Hall empty.
“Lan Huan? _________?”
The bell resounds in the room again, as if making fun of him. Jiang Cheng scoffs when he realizes that his husband has joined in on his nephew's prank and must be hiding in the shadows—which is not a problem for his cat eyes—but he decides to play along.
“Husband?”
Jiang Cheng detects movement out of the corner of his eye. Wasting no time, Jiang Cheng takes a big leap to try to grab his prey, but they’re faster than him by a few seconds, escaping from his clutches. Jiang Cheng then hears the bell to his left, fleeing quickly in the throne’s direction. His nephew is too young to adopt his animal form at will, so the one running around must be Lan Xichen.
Jiang Cheng lunges after his husband after taking his panther form, grateful once again that Lan Xichen is a little kitten whose footsteps don't span half the distance of his. He sees the cat slip behind the throne and stay still as if that might hide him from his sight, and he catches up with him in three long strides. Then Jiang Cheng reverts to his human form and peeks out on one side of the throne, leaving Lan Xichen to hide on the other.
Jiang Cheng laughs at the ridiculousness of the situation. They had only played like this in their first few months together, so Jiang Cheng hadn't realized how much he had missed it.
“Lan Huan.”
Jiang Cheng goes around the throne, always with the same result.
“Lan Huan, please. Let me see you,” he says when he sees a long tail poking out from one side; however, there’s something different about it that makes Jiang Cheng frown: it’s not white, like his husband's, nor is it fluffy, like a cloud. It’s black and short-haired, similar to his panther form but not as long. “Husband?”
The dream world is a place where anything can happen; however, a primitive instinct tells him that the one on the other side of the throne is not his husband but someone else. His heart leaps into his chest, beating so fast it hurts. Jiang Cheng feels his body preparing to wake up, but he clings with all his might to that moment.
"Will you stay still so I can see you?"
The rattle tinkles in response. That’s not his nephew, Jiang Cheng can't tell how he knows, but he's sure.
"Well, I'm going to peek out now. Don't be scared, okay?"
A new tinkle.
Jiang Cheng moves very slowly, gradually letting that person enter his field of vision. The first thing he notices is a black tail, moving playfully from side to side, and then a pair of little hands, cupped around the bell. Suddenly, Jiang Cheng looks up at the kid’s face, feeling his eyes fill with tears when he sees a pair of brown eyes with golden specks in a face very similar to his. The little boy has long black hair with two short locks that tickle his sharp cheeks; his eyes, despite being the same color as Lan Xichen's, are almond-shaped like Jiang Cheng’s, while the bridge of his nose he inherited from Lan Xichen.
"A-Xiang…”
Jiang Cheng makes a gesture to take his son by the hands—because he knows that’s his son, everything in his body screams that he is Lan Xiang—but the boy leaps back, breaking Jiang Cheng's heart one more time.
“Wait!” Jiang Cheng says, running after him immediately. “Don’t go, please.”
Lan Xiang is smiling as if it all were a game. Despite his young age, he’s very fast, encompassing the Throne Hall in the blink of an eye. Jiang Cheng can’t catch him, although from time to time he does manage to touch some part of his body.
“Please!” Jiang Cheng says and his scream pierces the barrier of dreams, alerting Lan Xichen. “Please! Don't leave me, I just want to see you up close…” His voice is shaky due to the tears running down his cheeks. He must look pathetic, for his son finally stops behind the throne, as he did moments before. “Will you let me see you now?”
The bell tinkles again.
“You promise?”
Another clink.
Jiang Cheng decides not to rush, advancing step by step towards the throne in what seems like an eternity. A-Xiang is crouching behind it, so he adopts a squatting stance so as not to scare him. Luckily, the little boy keeps his promise and stands very still as Jiang Cheng kneels in front of him.
"A-Xiang," Jiang Cheng says, letting his hand hover close to his little one's face. It hurts that Lan Xichen isn't there to see him, so he makes sure to memorize every last detail so he can tell his husband when he sees him. This is how his son would look like if Wen Ruouhan hadn't taken his life, and Jiang Cheng intuits that he would be as mischievous as in the dream.
Lan Xiang is not alone. Enraptured as he is gazing at his only child, Jiang Cheng overlooks a second tail behind the boy. It’s smaller, though no less long, and white but not fluffy like Lan Xichen's. There are also a pair of white ears sticking out from Lan Xiang's side as the kid behind him tilts their head curiously. Then Jiang Cheng meets storm-colored eyes similar to his.
"A-Xiang?"
The boy steps aside, letting Jiang Cheng observe the person hiding behind him. It’s a girl around three years old with the same white hair as Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng's gray eyes, giving her a curious albino appearance. Her hair barely reaches her shoulders, but even so, she’s wearing a lotus flower hairpin carved in white gold; she seems shy as she clenches her small hands into fists and looks at Jiang Cheng through her thick white lashes.
Jiang Cheng doesn't know what to say. The girl seems familiar and at the same time, he knows that he has never seen her; she is not part of Lan Xichen's family because she’s not a cat but a panther. Her tail is proof of this.
For a while, they just stare at each other until Lan Xiang can't take it anymore and takes the little girl's hand, leading her to Jiang Cheng. Then, once he’s in front of his father, he places the girl's hand on his. Jiang Cheng is too shocked by the gesture to realize that his son has touched him. The little girl's hand is warm and very tiny, even fragile; Jiang Cheng feels the need to protect her, carry her in his arms and hide her from the world even though he’s never seen her in his life.
Lan Xiang smiles.
“What are you trying to tell me?”
His son remains silent, but to make his message clearer, he takes the girl’s other hand and also places it on Jiang Cheng's, as if he were handing his father a precious object. With his mission accomplished, Lan Xiang nods in satisfaction and begins to gently fade away like cherry blossoms tossed in the breeze.
Jiang Cheng's heart sinks as he realizes what's happening, but he knows he can't stop it.
"I love you," he says to his son before he completely fades away and receives a mischievous smile in return. Then he’s alone with the girl, who smiles shyly when Jiang Cheng turns his eyes back to her. “Will you stay with me?”
She nods.
Jiang Cheng wakes up in tears, still feeling the warmth of the girl's hands on his. Lan Xichen is at his side; his worried countenance softens a bit when he sees Jiang Cheng smile, yet he can't help but wonder if their conversation before falling asleep triggered Jiang Cheng’s nightmares.
"A-Cheng?"
Jiang Cheng looks at Lan Xichen with shiny eyes. Despite his tears, his smile is contagious.
"Lan Huan," he says, cradling his husband's face in his hands. “We're going to have a baby.”