Chapter Text
It wasn't a big deal. At least, Purple thought it shouldn't be a big deal, but it couldn't help the discomfort it felt; which made the situation feel even weirder because the emotion was emulated by a processor, it wasn't organic so why did it have to feel this way surely it was a bug. Every time Jeremy referred to it with he/him pronouns, it felt wrong, it felt like it was going to be sick, but it didn't have bodily functions, so it couldn't be.
While Purple's presentation did lean a bit more masculine—not nearly as much as Blue presented—it didn't quite feel comfortable being seen as a guy. Nor did it want to be seen as a girl either. Really, it didn't want a gender associated with it. But it wanted Jeremy happy, Jeremy was its host. If Jeremy wanted to use he/him pronouns for it, surely it was fine. So, it didn't try to broach the subject of its pronouns with him.
Jeremy laid on his bed, his textbook and notes laid out before him. Purple sat next to him, guiding him along in his work when needed, but mostly just watching calmly.
A ping came from Jeremy's phone. A call from Michael. He cast a glance at Purple before picking up once it nodded.
"Hey, Michael," Jeremy said, a small smile on his face.
"Hey. Are you doing anything important right now?"
"No, Purple was just helping me with social studies. He wanted me to finish the homework and do a bit of the English assignment," Jeremy explained.
Purple pulled its lips into a tight line but made no comment as its gaze turned down to the textbook, scanning the page.
You know you could tell him, Blue said suddenly, having sensed its discomfort. The one disadvantage of being connected to the same squip pill, unless either of the two suppressed themselves, they had a general sense of how the other was 'feeling'.
It is of no importance. What he chooses to call me does not matter, Purple responded as it looked up from the book despite Blue not projecting a form.
Purple could tell Blue would be rolling his eyes if it could see him, But it bugs you. You're always telling him to make sure to set boundaries if his friends make him uncomfortable.
They are humans. It is different. We are programs. We do not have things like genders like they do.
Aren't you the one who is always insisting on trying to develop an identity beyond being a SQUIP like Jeremy wants? Blue asked rhetorically. The only response they got was a sense of reluctant confirmation from Purple. So wouldn't having a gender presentation and maybe an identity fall under that? As you always say, it would help Jeremy see us as individuals.
It is of no consequence, Blue. He sees me as masculine. It does not hinder my ability to function. It is most likely just a bug, Purple listed off.
Pur-
"Purple," Jeremy unknowingly interrupted.
"Yes, Jeremy?" it asked, glancing back at him.
"I know I still have some work to do. But do you think I could squeeze in about an hour of hanging out with Michael?" A sheepish smile graced Jeremy's face as he looked at the squip pleadingly. His hand over the phone mic. He could have thought at Purple but his first impulse had been to ask out loud.
"If you keep it to an hour you will have time "
"Cool," Jeremy said with a smile. "He said yes. I'll be over in a bit," Jeremy hung up. Purple stopped projecting its form to Jeremy as it watched the teen slam his book shut and stack the papers on top. There was a distant look on its face as it started to idle—essentially zoning out.
It could easily just say something quick. It didn't have to be a big deal. It could just say, "Jeremy, I use it/its pronouns", and leave it at that. But Purple couldn't will itself to, metaphorically, open its mouth.
~~~
Purple had overworked itself the past two days and depleted its energy completely, leading to it having to stay shut down most of the day. This didn't help Jeremy in the slightest because he had a presentation for English and Purple had said it would help. But now it wasn't here.
Blue? Jeremy thought as he sat in his seat, staring up at the student currently giving their presentation.
"What?" he asked, sounding disinterested as always. He already knew what Jeremy was thinking but he figured he'd humor him for a minute. He projected himself sitting on the desk in front of Jeremy, facing the teen.
Since Purple's not here, do you think you could help me? Jeremy asked, obviously nervous about asking the squip for help.
"That's not my job."
But, Purple would- but he can't right now- and I'm not even sure I'll remember it all- he sputtered in his mind, trying to keep the anxious expression off his face but failing.
Blue let out a long overly dramatic sigh as they got up from the desk. "Fine. But I'm doing this as a favor to Mx. Know-it-all. Don't go expecting me to save your ass in school every time it can't."
Jeremy started to relax, but then a look of confusion quickly crossed his face as he looked at Blue. Mix? Isn't it Mr. Know-it-all.
"M. X. Mx. is the most commonly used prefix for nonbinary people."
What?
"You should know what nonbinary means. You're not that stupid," Blue said coldly as he crossed his arms and looked down at Jeremy.
No, no. I know what it means– but you used it in reference to Purple?
"Yeah. What about that are you not getting?" Blue said, annoyance lacing his tone.
Isn't he– aren't you both… guys?
"Jeremy. We're computers. We don't have genders in the same way people do."
Oh, Jeremy thought as he looked down at his desk. He stared at the wood grain for a minute before looking back at Blue. I've been referring to both of you with he/him pronouns… Do you… not use he/him?
"He or they pronouns are fine for me, I don't care," Blue said, waving a hand as he leaned back against another desk.
Oh- I. Okay. I'm sorry I assum–
Blue interrupted him with a stern glare, "and Purple uses it/its. Use them. "
Jeremy flinched back as Blue's voice became louder in his head. He was about to raise his hands in defense when it occurred to him that he's still in class. Okay– yeah. Yeah. I can do that– sorry–
Jeremy rubbed his arm as he turned his attention back to the front and waited for his turn to come up. Since Jeremy was no longer looking, a small smirk tugged at the ends of Blue's lips.
~~~
Purple came back online later in the evening. It didn't waste a moment and appeared in front of its host. "Evening, Jeremy. I apologize for being gone so long. How did your presentation go?" Purple asked. It could easily review his memories, but Purple was trying to break that habit. It wanted to give Jeremy space. As well as, not instantly knowing made it seem more like its own person, having to actually ask him about his day when it's not on.
"Purple!" he greeted, pausing the video on his laptop and looking up at it. "It went okay. Blue was willing to help me." He bit his lip as he debated explaining more but ultimately deciding not to. If Purple never brought it up before, it probably wasn't comfortable talking about it.
Of course, Purple knew he was thinking about telling it something else, but it couldn't parse out what. After over half a year, Jeremy had gotten good at keeping information from the front of his mind to at least get a little bit of privacy.
"That was nice of them. I'll have to thank them, and so should you," Purple said as it pulled up a screen in front of itself that only it could see. It seemed to type something before looking back to Jeremy. "Did you get any new homework today?"
"Just a bit of math, but I finished that in class."
"Excellent," it praised with a small smile. "Since you have no additional work, you don't have to worry about getting anything done tonight unless you want to get a head start on some projects."
"I think I'm good for now. The presentation wiped me out. I was just thinking of hanging with Michael."
Purple nodded as it dismissed its screen. "In that case, since you don't need me immediately, I'm going to go ahead and read," it said, making the book it had been working its way through appear in its hands.
"Okay," Jeremy said as he pulled out his phone. Purple went to sit on his bed quietly as Jeremy called Michael. "Hey! Do you want to hang out?"
Purple could hear Michael because it had access to Jeremy's senses, but it tried its best to ignore him. But then it heard its name, "Doesn't Purple usually have you work on homework until, like, 8?"
"It said I didn't need to finish anything else tonight," Jeremy said as he leaned back in his chair, kicking his legs up onto his desk.. Purple perked up at the use of 'it'. Surely it misheard Jeremy.
"Oh. Cool. Want me to head over there?"
"Yeah. Maybe we could watch a movie. I want to show Blue and Purple some old Disney movies."
"Have you shown them Atlantis: The Lost Empire? I bet Purple will get a kick out of it."
"No I haven't. It probably would like Milo though." It- Surely it misheard him again. He wouldn't just suddenly start using it/its pronouns for it, would he?
"Well. I guess we have a movie for the night if… it and Blue are willing to join," Michael said, it sounded like he paused to make sure he said the right thing.
"Yeah. I'll ask them."
"Okay, I'm on my way over."
"Cya," Jeremy said, hanging up and setting his phone down. He turned to look at Purple. "Purple, do you think-" he trailed off, seeing tears running down its face. "Are you okay?"
"You- I-" Purple stammered as it reached up to wipe away the simulated tears.
Blue appeared next to it on the bed, a smile on his face. "I told you to just tell him."
Purple looked at Blue then to Jeremy, tears still rolling down its cheeks. "You- he told you?"
"Yeah. I'm sorry I never thought to ask about your pronouns before," Jeremy said as he got up and walked over to the bed.
Purple continued to glance between the two before lunging and tackling Blue into a hug, hiding its face in his jacket. Thank you, it mumbled to the other squip.