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I’m not doing anything.
Ren was sitting on the hood of his campervan, he had some problems going to sleep. He looked up into the vast beyond, everything he could ever experience was right there, yet he chose not to. Was he scared? Unwilling to see? Who’s to say, not even he knew. He rubbed his sleepless eyes, still looking at the midnight sky. What brought him to this exact moment in time? His body was destroyed. He cringed. Yet, by some miracle, he was still alive. No, not a miracle. Doc. The crazed doctor. His boyfriend. His lip quivered, and his eyes teared. He smiled, God, he intentionally hadn’t thought about this. He insisted on doing all the busywork around the base, to avoid reflecting on the past two weeks. They had been bad. Between Doc's drinking problem, which only started to rear its ugly head within the past month, and Ren's constant craving for affection, it was not going well.
I’m not doing anything.
Though he never admitted it, he loved Doc. He hoped Doc felt the same way. Doc saved him from certain death, that must mean something, right? Fuck. What if Doc pitied him? Pitied his crippled body, and would run for the hills as soon as he got used to his prosthetics. He brought his knees up to his head. That must be the case. He liked to project confidence in front of people. He liked to hug and kiss his boyfriend in public, to prove to others they were in love. Doc didn't seem to mind. He liked talking to Doc, but the creeper hybrid hasn't seemed up for conversation lately. All he's been doing was working on the octo-chunk, drink, and sleep. It was starting to concern Ren. Maybe the relationship was over. Maybe Ren had been dragging it out, hoping desperately to regain that spark.
My body’s made of crushed little stars.
Ren's thoughts started to race, the night sky started to close around him. His breathing got heavier and more incessant. Tears rolled down his gray face. The lights in his camper suddenly flicked on. Shit. Goddammit. He must've been too loud. How was he going to explain this to Doc?
"Ren... it's two in the morning." The larger man ducked out of the van, and rubbed the goo out of his eyes, "What are you doing up?"
Ren didn't want to turn to face him, "Oh y'know... just stressed."
Doc hopped onto the hood of the camper and put his hand behind Ren's comparatively small body, "Why're you crying out here, alone, at two AM?" Concern flooded his voice.
"When... when I get used to..." Ren swallowed a chunk of phlegm, "My prosthetics... are you gonna..." A lump came up in his throat, and tears snaked down his soft face, "Leave me?"
And I'm not doing anything
"Oh... that is stressful," Doc responded, "Well, first of all, no." Ren had expected this. No comfort, just facts. He didn't deserve comfort. He got what he deserved: a cold, clinical, uncaring, boyfriend.
"Yeah." His tears suddenly dried. Something had changed within him. All at once, he felt nothing at all. A state of numbness, terrifying if Ren could feel fear. "I guess I'm better. Thanks." He remarked as he hopped off the camper to go to bed. He had no clue what made him do this, and he hated the part of himself that was giving in.
"Wait." Doc grabbed the dog-man's shoulder, "Ren, you're scaring me. I wake up to find you crying, and suddenly you're fine? You don't usually act like this. Are you sure you're alright?"
Ren hadn't been the one to initiate touch, which softened his cold heart ever so slightly, "I don't know," He answered honestly, "I--" He inhaled deeply, then exhaled, "I worked out a whole speech to discuss with you, but when you came out... it all fell apart."
"Aw, that's sweet." The creeper hybrid smirked.
Ren smiled, "You know what I mean. What's with you tonight? You're a lot... sweeter suddenly."
"I don't know," He angled his eyes at the ground, "I guess I just saw some of myself in you when you were... emotionless. You're usually so bright and full of life. Whether it be crying and screaming or..." He pondered, "Just being bubbly. I guess it balanced me out."
Ren picked up Doc's face, "Now you're the one who's being sweet. Now, be honest, I won't be angry, have you had anything to drink?" Ren looked into Doc's soul.
"...Yes." Ren cringed. He'd hoped Doc wasn't. He'd hoped Doc was better. Apparently not.
"I figured." Ren took a seat on the sand, just below his boyfriend's face. He could smell the alcohol on his breath.
"Listen, it was only two glasses of wine."
"Yeah. I wish you weren't always tipsy when we had these conversations."
I wanna see the whole world.
The creeper hybrid paused, "I know. I'm getting better. I promise." He reached for the dog-man's hand. He pulled it away.
"Promises don't do shit, Doc. Unless they have follow-through. But you know that." Ren put his head in his hands.
"I do." Doc looked out at the sea. God, how did they get here? They were both broken, in their special ways, "Are you gonna break up with me?"
"I don't think so."
Doc laughed a little, "Well that's reassuring... where do we go from here?"
Ren clasped his knees, "I don't know."
"Do you wanna start with coming back up here?" Doc asked, with hope in his voice.
The smaller man considered for a second, "Yes, I think I will." Doc opened his arms, and Ren filled them. He sprawled himself on Doc's lap. In that brief, passing moment, it was as if everything were going to be alright. He had the love of his life, what else could he need?
"You know I love you, right?" Doc asked while he stroked the dog-man's hair.
"I love you too, Doc."
I wanna see the whole world.
I don't know how I'm gonna pay rent
I wanna see the whole world
Would you kill me Jerusalem?