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Gom Samchon is Omma’s mentor and best friend. Eunkyung would recall her Omma saying this when she asked, curious about the identity of her favourite Samchon who often babysat her whenever her parents were not around.
From the first distinct memory of messing up his already messy office, to having heart to heart chats about her insecurities in life, Yang Seokhyeong, or rather Gom Samchon had always been in her life for as long as she could remember. Other than her parents, he would be the other person she considered to be her confidante in her life, always trusting him to accept her no matter what she says or does.
Gom Samchon was indeed her safe house, the one she would go for if she had issues that she found hard to raise with her Omma and Appa. Eunkyung can feel heat rising on her cheeks, recalling the meltdown she had in this house when she was fifteen, screaming how much she found her Omma so perfectly annoying and how she hated being labelled as daughter of Chu Minha and Lee Woo Jin. It was perhaps one of the darkest periods of her life, battling her own insecurities, feeling that she would always be known as the daughter of the renowned gynaecologist and star prosecutor. Whilst she, Lee Eunkyung would never be recognised as a own individual with her own merits.
The uncontrollable insecurities had taken over her completely and it was a period of getting trouble at school constantly. The relationship she had with her parents was at the breaking point. It was only after one particularly nasty fight at school and it was Gom Samchon that took her back after multiple apologies to her teachers. It could be the normalcy of cooking her favourite meal and the silent non-judgmental compassion offered. There had been no questions asked but she found herself eventually ranting about how much she finds her parents so perfectly annoying and how she hates being the daughter of Chu Minha.
She could not remember much of what happened later, other than being hauled in her Samchon’s embrace and the reassuring words of how she’s never just Chu Minha and Lee Woo Jin daughter. He was also the one who later encourages her to visit a counsellor for working out her underlying issues of insecurities with herself.
Perhaps this is why I am here today. Eunkyung mused, tapping her fingers on the kitchen island as she observed Gom Samchon finishing the last touches to the meal that he’s preparing for both of them. She needed advice from someone who treated her like a mature individual, whom her parents sometimes would not, having the tendency to baby her even though she’s seventeen.
They were finishing the last bits of desserts when Eunkyung decided it’s time to ask.
“Samchon, someone has confessed to me and I don’t know what to do about it.” She says wryly, intentionally setting her sights on the patterns of the table cloths, as if they had suddenly become interesting overnight.
Eunkyung was not surprised to hear the sounds of coughing fits erupting from her Samchon before he finally cleared his throat, regaining his composure. It was the second time, the first time being the meltdown she had two years back when she ranted about how much she detested being the daughter of Chu Minha.
“ Eunkyung ah, you need to stop giving me shocks like this. I am not as young as you think.” Seokhyeong admonished, petting his chest frantically. “ Well I think we are looking at two issues here, am I right. But first and foremost, I guess you are interested in him too. If not, you won’t be sitting here, asking me for advice.”
It’s times like this when Eun Kyung really appreciated her Samchon’s understanding of her. Nodding her head in agreement, “Yes, I am. But I don’t know if it’s the right time”, she admitted. “Exams are around the corner and I really want to focus on getting the grades I needed for Columbia next year. I don’t think if I ever have the time to date.” Eunkyung pouted, letting out the sigh of resignation that she had been keeping inside her ever since she got confessed to.
It was not the first time Seokhyeong had seen the pout, but no matter how many times Seokhyeong had seen it, he would always be reminded of a distinctly similar expression seen many years ago on Minha’s face. Marvelling at the power of genetics, he really cannot resist leaning forward and give the bob of hair a ruffle.
He laughed as he saw the roll of eyes and that glare shot towards him by the school girl opposite him.
“ I’m sorry for teasing you, but you are way too cute.” Seokhyeong apologised, taking a sip from his cup of water.
“ I really can’t give you any advice on what you should do, it really depends on how you feel. I think you are old and mature enough to decide. If you think you are not ready for a relationship, I would suggest you wait and see how it goes. But if you are ready, I say you go for it. No matter what, always remember you have my support.” Seokhyeong says, giving Eunkyung’s a quick squeeze.
“Always remember your parents and I will always be here for you.” He smiles, the round orbs emitting that reassuring temperament that Eunkyung always loved. “ By the way, If you ever do decide to get in a relationship; remember to use protection. I believe your Omma and I have taught you that much.”
“Gom Samchon!!!!” Eunkyung exclaimed, she had certainly not been expecting the last statement as she shot her samchon a murderous glare and rolled her eyes for the second time in the day when she saw him erupted in fits of laughter.
If it was any other day, the conversation would have ended and they would be talking about the other aspects of their life. Maybe it was the fact that the topic of love that was brought up and subconsciously it had been something she had been curious about for a long time.
“ Samchon, why did you choose to stay alone? Has there been no special woman in your life? I know about Songhwa Imo and your ex wife… there’s no really no other person?” Eunkyung asked casually, giving her apple juice a sip after she dropped the question.
“ Why do you want to know ?” Seokhyeong asked, narrowing his gaze on Eunkyung, a thousand thoughts alternating between speculating if Minha told her anything or if it was just a simple case of curiosity. He wasn’t sure if it was even appropriate to tell her anything. In fact, it had been so long since he had revisited them, having sealed them in that one corner of his heart ever since Minha got married.
Eunkyung could feel her spine stiffened at the penetrating gaze sent by her Gom Samchon. It was times like this where she was reminded of the shrewd persona under the gentle demeanour.
“ I am just curious,” Eunkyung says softly. breaking the silence with a shrug and sticking out her tongue at Seokhyeong.
“Don’t be so overly curious.” Of course, a finger flick on her forehead by Seokhyeong was the result of her insolent behaviour.
“ Ouch” Eunkyung complained, rubbing her forehead. “You told me I can ask you any question and you will answer me without getting angry. Do you still remember that promise.” Eunkyung says, adding the pleading in her eyes for additional effects, before leaning forward to shake his wrists, knowing her Gom Samchon would never be able to resist it. It was the last resort that worked every single time.
“ You said I can ask you one question a day!”
It was as though déjà vu, the same expression of frustration with a hint of cuteness plastered on nearly identical faces. How was it that they could share the exact same expression? Seokhyeong wondered, finding himself back in the memory lane so many years back. Then he had been powerless against that frustrated doe eyes, desperately wanting to give in but eventually drawing the line. The disappointment and frustration on Minha’s features had remained fresh on his mind even with the passage of time. He just cannot bear to see the same expression at the features of the girl that had him wrapped around her little finger ever since she was born.
The red rimmed eyes were the first thing Eunkyung saw after raising her head, unable to bear the silence. Looking at the red rimmed eyes staring intently at her and the unusually long silence, Eunkyung wondered if perhaps she had crossed a line. It was unnerving for her to see the usually calm Gom Samchon with red rimmed eyes and she really did not want to push her favourite uncle on a topic that maybe he was uncomfortable to discuss. She was contemplating on how to change the topic until……
“ There was one indeed..but you got to promise me….” The words Seokhyeong rasped broke the silence and the vulnerability Eunkyung sensed in the simple words had her regretting ever asking and pushing him to answer her question. The regret was so overwhelming that when Samchon extended his hand for a handshake, signalling that code that whatever being said will remain between the two of them for the first time since she thought of it, she took it without a second thought.
“ Eunkyung-ah, if there’s a word to describe her, it would be special. She’s really really special.” Seokhyeong said softly, allowing himself to revisit those memories that scabbed and remained sealed in that compartment of his heart for so long.
“ She‘s like the morning sunshine, warm but never scorching to those around her. It’s so comfortable to be around her. At the same time, she’s never a weak person…she can be the most responsible and determined person if she ever sets her sights on something. ” Seokhyeong continued, somewhat amazed at how he could still remember those memories as though it happened yesterday, as if the passage of time did not exist.
“ In fact she’s probably the last person I would expect to ever confess to me,” He let out a laugh before he paused and said, “ And of course, I rejected her. But she didn’t give up at all. In fact she even said she will confess five more times. ”
“ Did she confess that five times ?” Eunkyung cannot resist interjecting, intrigued and fascinated by the new revelation. The way her Samchon’s eyes shone when he talked about her, she could feel the depth of love and she wondered what happened between them. Besides there was just something in his facial expression that she found familiar, but cannot put her fingers on it.
“ Yes and no.”
“ Huh?” Eunkyung frowned, seemingly confused by the cryptic answer she was given.
“ No, because she did not confess five times. Yes, because she tried asking me out five times.” Seokhyeong explained.
“ And you rejected her all those times?” Eunkyung asked, furrowing her brows and trying to make sense of what happened. She got a nod in return, confirming her answer.
Eunkyung would be lying if she said she was satisfied with the answer given.
“ Why? If she’s so special to you, then why did you refuse her? ” Eunkyung asked, her voice getting louder by each passing second like the increasing indignation she felt at hearing the story. “ Do you know how much courage she must have mustered just to ask you out and the disappointment whenever you reject her. It’s okay if you are not interested in her, but even I can tell this is not the case. Why waste the chance?”
“ Because I didn’t know I liked her.” Seokhyeong breathes deeply, “ I haven’t been interested in a relationship initially and I told her that from the beginning. But she was different from others, she stayed and it’s comfortable for me to be around her. We can laugh, we can talk. It was fun to be around her. Perhaps it was too fun and comfortable that I didn’t think of what that level of comfort meant. Back then, I supposed I thought that would be the constant, and I didn’t mind it.”
Seokhyeong paused, deciding he needed a drink to calm himself. How wrong was he to ever think that he could get through telling Eunkyung about those days unscathed.
“ She was always the braver one, always more decisive in her life decisions.“ He said wryly.
“ She started seeing someone eventually. The moment I realised I love her was when I realised I lost her forever.” Seokhyeong said, shutting his eyes momentarily, willing himself to get a grip.
Eunkyung was dumbstruck momentarily, unable to find the right words to say. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, but it felt wrong to raise them at this point.
“ Do you ever hate her?” her voice hoarse as she struggled to find the right question to ask.
“ No. Never. ”
She was met with a vehement shake of head.
“Did you ever tell her how you feel?”
The shaking of head told her the answer she needed. “Why? I think she deserved to know how you feel.”
“ Because I’m sure I wouldn’t have done a better job than what her boyfriend had done. She was happy and it won’t be fair for me to disturb that happiness by confusing her and making her choose.” A resigned smile appeared on Seokhyeong’s face as he answered Eunkyung’s question.
Eunkyung snorted, it was the answer she expected.
“ Samchon, forgive me if I am wrong or rude. But I think the reason why you didn’t tell her your feelings was because you are scared. You cannot bear the consequences of her choosing someone over you so you took the easier way out. You denied her a choice.” She says bluntly.
Seokhyeong blinked,taken aback at what was said. After all what had taken years for him to figure out, Eunkyung had easily figured it out within seconds. Sometimes he had really forgotten how perceptive Eunkyung can get.
“Maybe.” He smiled before leaning forward to give a ruffle on her hair. “ It doesn’t matter anymore, because she’s happy. That’s always the utmost importance to me.”
Eunkyung wanted to ask who’s the lady was but the air of finality in that smile given to her had stopped her from asking any more questions. She opted to observe her Samchon staring into his drink, as if avoiding any more future questions.
The break of silence was interrupted by the sound of Seokhyeong’s phone ringing.
“ My boss aka your Omma is the line.” Seokhyeong was somewhat relieved that a call had come, diverting attention away from the silence. “Hello Minha-ya….”
Eunkyung smiled as she observed how professional her Samchon was when it came to his profession. She soon found her smile stopping when she saw that facial expression that she found earlier. It was gone as fast as it appeared, but it was not the first time she saw it. She had seen it so many times.
It’s Omma. She found her guts plummeting as her mind connected the dots, to a reality that never crossed her mind before.
It can’t be Omma, it's just impossible. It’s just too difficult. It can’t be Omma. She dissuaded the notion as soon as it came up. She was so immersed in her thoughts that she barely reacted when she heard her Gom Samchon saying he had to goto the hospital for an emergency.
If Eunkyung had picked up traits of being brave and resilient from her mother, she learnt how to sweep things under the carpet from her Appa. She decided not to open that Pandora box. The person that her Gom Samchon loved was an unknown figure to her and it would stay that way.
It was only after many years later when her Gom Samchon passed away then she realised her hunch was right all these years. There was a certain photo she found when she was packing the last of his belongings. It was a photo of her Gom Samchon and her Omma taken at her parents’ wedding.
It was a well preserved photo, showing how much the owner had treasured it. It was the handwritten word at the back of the photo that broke her heart.
Forever
A lone tear rolled down her face. She was unsure whether it was for the broken hearts of her Gom Samchon and Omma or was it fate that horribly decided that they were just not meant to be.