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To Ningguang, romantic feelings came and went, so it was pointless to get hung up on them. To her, those feelings would ruin her, could take her eye off the prize, and she’d be left with nothing but a heart dedicated to someone else.
She had a life plan laid out for herself; continue to cultivate her wealth, add more wings and rooms to her Jade Chamber until it took over the sky, become the most powerful woman in Teyvat. There was no room in her plans for romance.
If it wasn’t for that sailor that did what she wanted when she wanted to crashing straight through Ningguang’s life, Ningguang would’ve been able to stick to her plan.
Things went Ningguang’s way—most of the time—but with Beidou around, Ningguang never got her way.
The feelings Ningguang had tried so hard to push down, the feelings she had for Beidou, always rose back to the surface whenever Beidou gave her small gifts from her trips around the world.
Ningguang could buy anything she wanted to, but there was something special about receiving a gift from the woman she loved.
She didn’t want to love Beidou, it was something that just happened. Beidou made Ningguang feel like she was special—of course, Ningguang already knew that, but being special in Beidou’s eyes was the highest compliment of all.
Yet, no matter how hard Beidou tried to distract her from her work and her plans, Ningguang still stayed on path, pushing Beidou to the side.
“You should come with me. When was the last time you left Liyue and let loose?” Beidou said. They were at the Wanmin Restaurant, sitting at the table nearby, sharing a spicy dish that made Ningguang’s eyes water.
“I can’t—” Beidou rolled her eyes at that. “Who will take over my duties? Ganyu and Keqing already have a big enough workload as is. The archons know that those secretaries couldn’t handle it either. I’m sorry, it’ll have to be another time.”
“You’re always making excuses. It’s one trip. Two weeks long at the most. I can take you to my favourite places in Sumeru.”
“I said no.”
“You’re such a stick in the mud. Learn how to live a little.”
Ningguang didn’t answer, ignoring Beidou, signifying the conversation was over because she wanted it to be over. She took another bite of their dish, the spice lodging in the back of her throat and making her sip her water.
She sat her fork down. “Listen, I’m sorry, I can’t leave the rest of the Qixing with my workload. I’d feel too guilty doing that. You understand, right,” She reached out her hand laying it on Beidou’s. It was a move she always used when Beidou was upset at her; it calmed the nerves.
Except that time it didn’t. Beidou moved her hands and crossed her arms.
“Whatever. I’ve got a ship to captain. You can pay for our meal,” Beidou took one last bite and set her silverware down, walking away.
Ningguang rubbed her temples in annoyance. That was one of the main reasons why she kept her romantic feelings buried; once you open your heart to someone it becomes a chore trying to maintain the relationship.
She paid for their meal—in disbelief that Beidou didn’t split the check with her—and headed towards the Jade Chamber.
“Baishi, could you prepare the bath for me?” Ningguang called out, shaking off her coat and hanging it on the rack. “Make the water slightly colder this time, darling.”
“Of course,” Baishi rushed to the bathroom, the sound of water running filling the air. Minutes later, Ningguang’s bath was ready, prepared exactly to her liking; lukewarm water, fluffy white towels, lavender salt sprinkled in the water, all of her expensive and organic shampoos and conditioners located to her left, body wash on the right.
“You don’t have to undress me today. I’d like to be alone,” Baishi left, shutting the door behind her.
Ningguang unzipped her dress, letting it fall to her feet, the fabric flowing outward like a flower. She unhooked her bra and slid out of her underwear. She collected the fallen clothing and sat it in a pile on the counter.
She dipped one foot into the bath, testing out the water. It was perfect. She fully immersed herself in the water, eyes closing, and arms resting on the bathtub edges.
It felt nice being in the water, calming, letting the roaring waves of her mind settle. All thoughts of Beidou and their argument started to melt away, turning into mush hidden in the back of her mind.
“Captain Beidou, I think it’s best that you don’t go in there!” Baishi pleaded outside the door, making Ningguang’s eyes snap open and her hands moved to grab something to cover herself. “Lady Ningguang is taking a bath. If you could just wait in the main room, she shouldn’t be long.”
The doorknob turned and Beidou was walking in with a purpose.
“I’m sorry, Lady Ningguang, I tried to make her stop but she pushed me out of the way. Please forgive me.”
“It’s not your fault. You’re dismissed. Close the door on your way out.” Ningguang’s hands found a towel that she used to cover herself.
“It’s not like I haven’t seen any of that before,” Beidou commented, eyeing Ningguang’s nude body and the towel that hovered above the water. “You’re coming on the trip with me.”
“That didn’t sound like a request. More like an order. I don’t have to obey you.”
“I’ve sorted everything out. Ganyu and Keqing were more than willing to take over for you. They said you need a break.”
“I don’t need a break. I’m fine. Now if you could escort yourself out, I was in the middle of something,”
“You do. We haven’t been on a date in months. It’s like you don’t love me. If you’re going to act like this, then I’m done with this relationship.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“I do.”
Ningguang knew Beidou meant everything she said. Beidou was a woman of her word, always keeping promises, doing what she said she’d do. It was up to Ningguang to decide if Beidou was the most important thing in her life.
All of this was new to Ningguang. She didn’t understand the light feeling in her stomach when Beidou touched her like she was a delicacy, something you couldn’t break and didn’t want to break. She didn’t know when Beidou started to become more important than her goals, her work, her entire life.
The choice came easy, as easy as it could to Ningguang.
“When do we depart?”
With that Beidou returned to her normal self, cocky smile overcoming her face. “I knew you’d give in.”
“You didn’t. Now I am trying to bathe. You know the way out.”
“I was thinking I could stay. We could cuddle and watch one of your favourite movies together. Maybe Breakfast at Tiffany’s, I’ve always enjoyed watching that with you.
“Fine. Wait in my room. I’ll be there soon.”
Though Ningguang had said yes to Beidou, making arrangements to have the week off, free to do anything and everything with the woman she loved, Ningguang was questioning whether or not to go.
The Crux would leave the dock at exactly nine in the morning with or without Ningguang on it.
Beidou was talented when it came to making Ningguang open up, letting the pearly gates that kept her heart protected unlock and flee open, letting Beidou go sailing in. Beidou was everything Ningguang wasn’t; loud, brash, someone that did whatever she desired to without thinking of the consequences. Beidou always got what she sought after, and she wanted Ningguang more than anything else.
With every slick word that slipped past her lips and every gentle touch after dark, Beidou was able to crack through Ningguang’s shell.
If she went, her heart belonged to Beidou and Beidou only. She was great at committing to things like events and schedules but when it came to committing to a person, she was a coward. She backed out before things got serious and continued to be independent. She’d gone her whole life without a partner and only herself to rely on, she could continue that life—that boring, uneventful life.
They clashed heads often; why would Ningguang date someone that she couldn’t agree with? She supposed that’s what made their relationship fun. Like nothing she’d ever experienced before; full of surprises, the unexpected, and her brain slowing down during those special moments with Beidou where the rest of the world didn’t seem to exist.
She loved Beidou, she truly did, but did she love her enough to not break her heart?
The thought of hurting Beidou made Ningguang recoil.
Her decision was made at once; she’d go through with it.
“I believe this is the first time I’ve ever been abroad The Crux,” Ningguang commented, allowing Beidou to help her step onto the boat.
“It’s not. You came here a few years ago to tell me of all the damage I’ve caused with this thing. You fined me a hundred thousand mora.”
“How could I forget? You’re always in debt, I can’t remember a time when you weren’t.”
“Why don’t you pay for my fines? Girlfriend discount?”
“Very funny, Beidou. I’m not paying for anything. I’ve earned my mora and every bit of it is precious to me. Plus, you need to learn your lesson about sailing safely.”
“You have no problem giving mora to Xiangling and her friends, but when it comes to me, you’re suddenly stingy with your mora,” Beidou grumbled, leading Ningguang towards the front of the boat.
“Xiangling puts the money to good use. Even I pay off your fines you’ll be right back in debt before I can even finish writing my name on the check.”
“Let’s not argue on our vacation, babe.”
Beidou grabbed ahold of the wheel, preparing for the journey to begin.
“Is everything ready back there, men?” She yelled out.
“Yes, Captain Beidou! We’re ready to go!”
Beidou turned the wheel, the ship surging forward in a rocky beginning. Ningguang slammed into the side of the ship, unable to keep her balance.
Beidou laughed, reaching out a hand to help Ningguang up, the other remaining on the wheel. “I might’ve forgot to tell you to hold onto something.”
“You’re the worse.”
“You love me.”
I do, Ningguang thought helplessly, looking at Beidou with sparkling eyes. She knew, at that moment, that she’d love Beidou forever, even when the world died away, flowers wilting, turning to dust, and the air became so polluted you could hardly breathe. She’d love Beidou until her very last breath. She’d love Beidou until it hurt more than a polearm straight through the gut.
“What’s up with you today? You usually object to me saying things like that.”
Ningguang sighed, far-away, like she was on some other planet, watching Teyvat from afar. “I’m tired, that’s all.”
The ship continued forward for hours, Beidou keeping the conversation going, making Ningguang laugh. Night came earlier than expected, the sky black with white splattered about.
“Meng, do you mind taking over? You need some practice sailing the ship.” Beidou said to a girl no older than seventeen.
“No, not at all, Captain Beidou.”
“Fei, make sure she doesn’t break my baby.”
“Got it.”
Beidou grabbed onto Ningguang’s hand, feeling the creases and crevices of it and Ningguang’s soft skin that felt like silk.
“Come with me,” She said. Ningguang did as Beidou requested of her, following behind Beidou.
(When was she not following Beidou? Always letting Beidou lead the way. Beidou acting as her compass.”
“Oh, and close your eyes,” Ningguang did, her vision going black, her other senses heightening. She could hear the clacking of Beidou’s heels on the wood and the conversations of Beidou’s crew. She could smell rice and fish and Beidou’s perfume—a sweet jasmine scent. She could feel Beidou’s hands, all the scars and callouses from difficult days and she could feel her dress flowing at her calves, the fabric soft and gentle.
“Open.”
Ningguang’s vision returned, noticing the changes in the scenery around her: a large blanket was folded under two pillows side by side, a bottle of wine in the middle, and several packages of snacks.
“I’m going to be honest; I originally had an entire romantic dinner planned but I don’t know how to cook any meals that would be worth eating and there’s no chef on this ship, so I’ve put together this lovely feast. There’s sour candies, some snacks I stole from Inazuma last time I was there, Instant Ramen, almonds, and wine.”
“None of these foods complement each other.”
“They’re all tasty and that’s what matters.”
“Do you have something to boil water in for the ramen?”
“Well yes, but I’m going to show you a new way of eating it. Open the package.”
Ningguang did.
“Take out the seasoning packet and start crushing the noodles!” Beidou went to work on hers and Ningguang did the same.
“Don’t crush it took much. You should have chunks of the noodles only. Now pour the seasoning packet inside and shake it up.”
“Isn’t it bad for you to eat raw noodles?”
“Who cares?” Beidou grinned as she bit right into a chunk of ramen, licking her lips with a satisfied noise escaping her.
Ningguang ate a piece and her eyes widened. “This is better than I thought. Where’d you learn this trick?”
“A good captain never shares her secrets.”
Ningguang laid down, resting her head on the pillow located on the left, her blonde hair swirling in every direction. Beidou laid next to her, resting her head on Ningguang’s shoulder rather than her pillow.
“I never knew it got this chilly on the sea.”
“Put the blanket on.”
Ningguang did, covering both of them in the rather cozy blanket.
“Look at the stars,” Beidou said, looking up in awe. The stars painted an image clear and beautiful, the tiny white dots were scattered about but only a sharp eye could make out the shapes. “That star right there begins the constellation—” Beidou pointed at the sky. “and if you connect the surrounding stars it creates an owl.”
“I don’t see it.”
“Keep looking.”
“Wait there it is! That’s amazing!”
“You’re amazing,” Beidou cupped Ningguang’s cheek, rubbing her thumb over the skin. Ningguang felt her body speed up and sink down, a rollercoaster of feelings, all sharp and loving.
Beidou didn’t stop there. “When I first laid my eyes on you, I thought you were the hottest person I’d ever seen. That lovely thought went away the second you opened your mouth,” Beidou laughed. “Kidding. We butt heads a lot and our personalities shouldn’t work well together, but they do. You annoy me sometimes, always telling me to stop doing the things I do and trying to keep me from living my life. But you also make me feel like I’m the most important person in the world. You give me the attention I want, listening to everything I have to say even if you don’t agree with me, and looking at me like I’m all those beautiful stars in the sky.”
“Beidou, what are you doing?”
“Can’t you see I’m trying to express my feelings? Ningguang, I love you, a lot, even if loving you is difficult at times. It’s taken me a while to come to this conclusion, but I think I love you more than anything. I would give up my ship if it meant you’d be my girlfriend forever. I love you, Ning.”
Ningguang didn’t realize she was crying until a tear slid down her face, her words catching in her throat.
“I love you too,” Ningguang choked out, grabbing Beidou’s face in her hands and pulling her in for a kiss. Her hands travelled to Beidou’s lower back, fingers pressing into the tender skin.
They pulled away.
“Where do we go from here?” Ningguang asked, ever curious. She liked to have a plan set at all times. She hated doing things at random, not knowing what was going to happen and how events would pan out.
“Well, I was thinking we could arrive at Sumeru, walk around town as I show you my favourite places, and then get back on the ship and head towards Snezhnaya to score a bottle of their infamous wine. Then we make it back home and you invite me to move in with you.”
“That sounds like an amazing plan. Except for the moving in part. I don’t want you accidentally breaking one of the many antiques I have out.”
“You know I would never destroy something precious to you.”
“I have to be cautious,” Ningguang smiled. “You can move in. My only rule is don’t harass my employees.”
“Wouldn’t even dream of doing such a thing.”
“Yeah right. Just this week you’ve harassed Ganyu and Keqing until they were willing to do my work for me—”
“I didn’t harass them, they were eager to take over for you.”
“You also pushed Baishi to get your way.”
“She shouldn’t have been trying to keep me away from you!”
“You’re insufferable.”
“You love me because of that.”
Ningguang laughed and it carried out to sea, the stars hearing the chuckles that came out of them and choosing to shine brighter that night, fueled on their ever-growing love.
Everywhere they went the stars followed, cheering them on, hoping they made it through another day together, being the only witnesses to their love blossoming as the trip continued.
Ningguang was glad she decided to go on a vacation with Beidou. What would’ve happened to them if she hadn’t?
Who cared? There was no point in getting caught up on what-ifs when everything had turned out perfectly.
To Ningguang, love was the most beautiful thing of all. To Ningguang, Beidou was everything. To Ningguang, love was a risky thing, but once you took the risk everything became easier. To Ningguang, loving Beidou was the best thing that had ever happened to her.