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"I've been talking to Rachel!"
This isn't good, Steve can tell. Danny's got his color up, his hair looks like he's been trying to tear it out by the roots and his voice…
Danny's pissed and Steve doesn't need three guesses to figure out why. And who at. He's known this was coming, known it was inevitable, but that doesn't mean he's any better prepared to handle it now that it's actually happening.
"I've been talking to Rachel. Who told me about your little conversation!"
"Conversation, Danny?" He knows there's no point in playing dumb, that Danny isn't going to buy it for one minute, but he feels he has to put up at least a token show of protest.
"Yes, conversation, Steven. The one where you and my ex-wife discussed my visitation rights and agreed that I could go on seeing my daughter if you stayed away from her. That conversation!"
Steve would really, truly like to run right now, but Danny's between him and the door, so he's going to have to tough it out.
"Danny, I didn't… I just…"
"Don't you 'Danny' me, Steve! How dare you? What gives you the right to…"
"She was going to stop you from seeing Grace."
"She was going to take me back to court, Steve. Where I would have fought, every step of the way, so that my partner and my little girl and I could spend quality time together. But no, you have to take things into your own hands and go and talk to my ex-wife behind my back..."
Steve shakes his head, because why can't Danny see? Why doesn't Danny understand?
"She was going to take you back to court, and then they'd find out about me… about what I was doing… and then you'd have to stop being with me because you'd never, ever give up Grace, I'd never expect you to do that and I couldn't. Danny… I just couldn't..."
It kind of comes out in a rush, his words tripping and tumbling over themselves until he's got no more left, running down like a spent clockwork toy. Danny's staring at him, stopped in full flight, mouth open, and it would be funny if Steve wasn't hurting inside quite so much.
"I had to do it, Danny, I couldn't see any other way…"
He sits down on the bed, unsure of what to do next because Danny's pissed at him and he never knows what to do with that. He knows he's in the wrong, knows he should've told Danny, but it wasn't that simple. He doesn't find words easy, not for the difficult stuff. "I… I couldn't think of anything else to do… I'm sorry…"
"You're sorry." Danny's on the move again, advancing on him. "You're sorry. Why didn't you talk to me, Steve? Why didn't you tell me?"
He can't look at Danny, can't meet his eyes. He'd known it was bad, not telling Danny, but he still can't see what else he could've done other than talk to Rachel. He just doesn’t know how to get Danny to see that.
Danny's crowding right up into his space now, flushed and angry. He pushes backwards, scrabbling to retreat, but Danny follows him, backing him up the bed until he hits the headboard and there's no way to escape. Danny straddles him, his hand grabbing Steve's jaw and jerking his head up so that he can't look anywhere except at Danny and Steve guesses that this means they're talking about this, no avoiding it.
"D'you know what I thought, Steven? I thought that you didn't want to meet Grace. I thought that you didn't want anything to do with her, my baby girl who's one of the most special and beautiful things in the whole wide world. All these excuses when she was coming to visit, all these sudden unexplained absences… I thought you didn't want to see her. I thought maybe you didn't like the idea of me being a father, that you couldn't handle it. That's what I thought, because you didn't fucking tell me what you'd done!"
What hurts most is that Danny's partly right. Steve's come to the terrifying realization that he wants Danny and everything that goes with him, wants it all and that includes getting to know Danny's daughter. Steve also has no experience with children, other than trying to keep them from ending up as collateral damage when executing missions and the thought of actually meeting Grace petrifies him. He has no frame of reference, no idea what to say to a nine-year-old girl. Unexploded bombs scare him less.
If he looks at it straight on, Rachel agreeing to his proposition was actually kind of a relief. He'd never admit that to Danny, though.
"Danny, I..."
"Shut up. You do not get to speak right now."
Danny's not done, then.
"I thought you didn't want to see Grace. Instead I discover that somewhere in the recesses of that Neanderthal brain of yours you've decided that this self-sacrificing crap is the right thing to do. And that you've gone ahead and done it without discussing it with me first! People in relationships, Steven, people in relationships talk about these things! They talk about these things and then they make decisions together! Do I make myself clear?"
Steve nods. It seems the wisest course of action, even though he doesn't get it, not really. If he'd spoken to Danny then Danny would never have let him do it. He'd identified the most logical course of action and followed it and he'd achieved the best possible outcome that the situation allowed, even if Danny can't see that.
This relationship stuff is hard.
Danny's still going.
"D'you know what the worst thing is, Steve? The worst thing is that right now I can't make up my mind if I want to kiss you stupid for being such a self-sacrificing idiot or punch you in the face for not consulting me!"
"Danny, I..."
"I thought I told you to shut up!"
And with that Danny's kissing him, hot and hard and with more than an edge of anger, biting his way into Steve's mouth, all fire and fury.
"I don't know whether to hit you or kiss you, you drive me insane..." Danny's voice is ragged and his hands are tugging at Steve's t-shirt, "Off, get this off, I want this off now..." Steve tugs at the fabric, stripping the shirt off over his head, and Danny's hands are on his biceps, gripping tight, fingers digging in until it almost hurts as Danny pulls him in for another kiss as fierce as the first.
"And these," Danny hisses into his ear, letting go suddenly so that Steve's head thunks back against the headboard. His hands go to Steve's belt, fingers ungentle as he unbuckles it and pulls it free and then he's starting on the buttons of the cargoes. "I want these off, I want you naked, I want to fuck some sense into that idiot head of yours!"
Steve's good with that, he really is because when Danny's like this he's so fucking hot. Danny's usually so careful with him, so considerate and that's nice, but this... this is something else.
And it beats talking hands down.
Danny's got the buttons undone, and he yanks the cargoes and briefs down and off with one rough tug and now Steve’s naked like he wanted.
"How do I make you understand that you matter, that we matter? That I want to do the important stuff with you?" Danny strips off his own shirt, voice going muffled for a moment as he pulls it over his head, but he doesn't stop. Steve has a fleeting moment to appreciate the sight of Danny, so broad and strong, chest furred with a dark gold fuzz so much thicker than his own, but then Danny's pulling at him again, manhandling him down onto the bed and shoving a pillow under his hips.
"I want to do the important stuff with you because you're my partner and that's what partners do!"
Danny's working on his own belt now, unbuckling and unzipping and pulling his cock out of his boxers and yeah, he's as hard as Steve is. The slick is on the nightstand and he reaches across and grabs it, squirting it carelessly and messily over his fingers, slathering his cock with lube, quick and dirty. A couple of seconds later those fingers are in Steve, two then three, pushing in mercilessly, making Steve hiss at the intrusion and then groan as Danny twists his hand just so.
"Partners, Steve." Danny's lining himself up now, cock in hand, the head of it pressing against Steve's asshole. "Partners, which means we talk about the important stuff and we make these decisions together…" and as he grunts out the word 'together' he shoves, rough and hard and Steve's so ready for this, wants this so much, wants Danny so much, he just opens up and lets Danny in.
Danny pulls back and thrusts again and the burn is delicious. "Together. Which means you don't just go and check yourself out of parts of my life without consulting me first. D'you understand?"
It feels so good right now that Steve's kind of lost for words, all he can do is clutch at the sheets with his fingers and shove back against Danny, shameless and needy.
"Do. You. Understand. Steven?" Danny punctuates each word with a snap of his hips and Steve's seeing stars.
"Danny, God, please…"
Danny stills above him, holding himself so that he can look down at Steve and the expression on his face…
"Tell me you get it, Steve. You don't have to protect me, OK? I want you in my life, all the bits of my life, because, fuck, you're… we're… you know…"
Steve's not sure what he is, right now, is even less sure what they are, but he's pretty certain that Danny's trying to say something really important. He's going to have to take it away and think about it some before he can process it, so he nods at Danny. "OK, OK, I get it, Danny, but right now… fuck, Danny, please…" and he knows he sounds craven and desperate, but he needs Danny to move.
Danny balances himself on one arm so that he can get his free hand on Steve's cock, strong and sure, but still not fucking moving. "Promise me," he says, "Promise me you'll never..."
Steve's ready to promise just about anything right now. "Fuck, Danny, anything, anything you want, just please...".
"OK then," Danny says, his face serious and focused, and finally he moves, his grip firm and fierce as he starts to jack Steve with long, steady strokes. "Come on, babe, that's it, come on, come for me, I've got you." He starts to fuck into Steve at the same time, short and shallow, in sync with the movement of his hand, eyes locked on Steve's and how the fuck does he manage to be so coordinated? "Come on," he says, "Come for me, Steve, come for me now, I want to see you..." That's it, Steve loses it, body clenching around Danny's cock, spilling all over Danny's hand and his own stomach and it feels so fucking good...
"Fuck, babe," Danny breathes, "Fucking gorgeous, you have no idea." Without warning he shoves in hard and deep again, thrusting quick and rough and it's almost too much, Steve's still shaking through the aftershocks of his orgasm and he can feel himself coming apart under Danny... "So fucking gorgeous," Danny mutters, breathless. "You drive me insane, you know that? You drive me fucking insane..." Then Danny's there too, shuddering to a stop and collapsing down across Steve's chest as he comes, breathing hard and hair every which way.
He lies there for a moment, a weight that Steve's glad to bear and then rolls off, pulling out as he does so and flopping down on his back next to Steve, pants and boxers still pushed halfway down his thighs. "Fuck, babe," he says, sounding wasted and Steve's right there with him. They're a mess, the pair of them, come smeared across their stomachs, and Steve's ass feels gross, he has to admit that, although skin-on-skin feels good, condoms do make getting clean again afterwards easier…
"We need to clean up," Danny says after a few minutes, still sounding wrecked. "Go get a washcloth, babe."
Steve rolls, propping himself up on one elbow so that he can look at Danny, and tries out a tentative grin. "I thought we were supposed to be making decisions together now…"
Danny narrows his eyes and gives Steve a hard look. "You owe me," he growls, "Go."
Yeah, maybe he does, Steve thinks as he rolls off the bed and pads obediently towards the bathroom.
He needs time to think, to figure out what all this means. It's still all so new, being with someone, being with Danny, it's not like anything he's ever experienced before. He's used to being shot at and he's used to fucking strangers, but he has no idea how to behave in a relationship and how pathetic is that?
If he wants this thing with Danny to work out then he's going to have to figure out what normal people do and he has no fucking idea where to begin.
He just knows that he has no choice but to try.