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Joe’s regular day consists of three boring classes at college, a trip to Borders to complain about books and bands alike, going home, jacking off, getting stoned, eating, and possibly jacking off again. He also sometimes works evenings and weekends. His life is boring.
He’s gotten past the college part of his Tuesday, and is at Borders with his friend. There’s a new record release today, so instead they’re bantering about the record itself. They’re having a heated debate on what the new Neurosis sound would even classify as. He catches a small girl with soft strawberry-blonde hair staring at them. ‘Whatever, dude,’ he says, ‘At least they aren’t pretentious live.’
She walks over to them then, scoffing. ‘Neurosis? I can tell you about Neurosis!’ she says.
Joe is awestruck by her. He stares at her soft lips as she talks.
‘Listen, dude.’ She says to Joe’s friend, ‘Bands change their sound. It’s what bands do. Quit ragging on them. They can’t stay the same forever.’ She turns to Joe then, and he snaps out of his trance. ‘And yeah, they’re fucking fantastic live. There’s nothing pretentious about it.’ She folds her arms and eyes them both over.
Joe can tell she thinks they’re chickenshit. It kind of makes him hot for her. She’s tiny and she’s heated and she’s scary and he doesn’t even know her. But he wants to. He really wants to.
Trish rolls her eyes. ‘So are you gonna quit complaining and buy that record or not? Because I want it too.’ She says.
Joe stutters, ‘Uh, um, actually, you can have it.’ He smiles nervously and hands it over.
She smiles sarcastically. ‘Thanks.’ She says, plucking it out of his hands, turning, and walking smugly to the counter to pay.
—
Joe walks into the bar with a couple buddies from college. He’s a senior now, a few months after the first encounter with the soft, scary woman he met in Borders, and he still hasn’t managed to capture Patricia’s heart. He started noticing her at the same locations he went to—he likes to tell himself it’s because they have so much in common—and after the second or third time of seeing her around, he started to approach her. She was always blunt and rude, but he tried nonetheless. Around his fifth time talking to her, he started to ask for her number, but hadn’t received it yet thus far. When he looks around to scan the bar, he sees none other than the infamous Trish. They make eye contact, and then he sees her whisper in the ear of the tattooed, muscular woman she is with.
As he walks over to approach her, the woman beside her slides an arm around Patricia’s waist and nuzzles her. He stares for a moment and decides to just roll with it. ‘Hey, Trish.’ He says, smiling. ‘I’m Joe.’ He introduces himself politely, hoping to God this isn’t her girlfriend. He sticks out his hand.
The tattooed lady takes it and sizes him up, smirking a little. ‘Andie.’ She says, rubbing her thumb along Patricia’s side. Trish smirks at him, leaning into her friend.
Joe swallows a little. ‘Nice to meet you.’
*
Patricia is a little tipsy. When Joe hovers and won’t leave them alone, she suggests they play darts.
Joe agrees because he’ll do anything for Andie to stop touching her the way she is. He’s jealous. He has no right to be, but he is. He walks to a dartboard with them; he’s not drunk, but not hurting either. Andie seems like she’s fine. In fact, he can’t recall her having a drink at all so far. He decides to just brush it off and watch Trisha get the darts instead.
‘Okay, Andie, you can go first.’ She smiles sweetly and leans up to kiss her cheek.
‘That’s not how the game works—‘ Joe flushes and shuts up when Patricia glares at him.
*
Near the end of the game, Joe is draping himself over her. He touches her lower back often and all but wraps himself around her while Andie is taking her turn.
Patricia is irritated, but she’s also drunk. She’s torn. She wants to make him jealous, but she likes him. Though she’s super okay with being a little gay, the façade with Andie is slowly faltering. Dammit. She finally makes up her mind when Andie turns around to sit and wait for Joe to take his turn. She pushes him off of her. ‘Dammit, Joe!’ she snaps.
Joe backs off, taken off guard. ‘What?’ he asks, raising his hands in defense.
‘Why won’t you give it up?!’ her face is all flushed; she’s a hothead.
Joe’s eyes widen. ‘What are you talking about?’ he knows what she’s talking about, but he doesn’t want to say it. He’s that asshole that persists even when it’s evident that the girl he’s hitting on might very well have a girlfriend.
Trish glares, clenching her fists. ‘I pretend to have a fucking girlfriend and you still won’t leave me alone! Respect my boundaries as a woman! Don’t think you can take advantage of me!’ she snaps and swings her arm, knocking him a hard one for the sake of feminism.
Joe gasps and holds his jaw. Jesus. She hits hard. When he lifts his head, though, he’s grinning. ‘Pretend?’ he asks, feeling so relieved.
Patricia shrieks in frustration, grabbing his shirt collar. ‘You’re missing the whole point, you fucking asshole.’ And then she kisses him hard. Because she likes him and she can’t help herself. He’s hot and she’s drunk.
Joe makes a surprised noise, but kisses her back just as hard, his hand moving to her waist and pulling her in. He can hear Andie chuckling beside them. He wonders if Patricia is always like this.
When she pulls away, she wipes her mouth and glares at him. ‘Fuck you.’
Joe grins stupidly at her for a moment. Instead of responding with something vulgar like a total college asshole, he takes her hand before she turns away from him. ‘Can I have your number?’ he asks for the tenth time.
Patricia pulls away from him. ‘No way, you freak.’ She takes Andie’s hand instead. ‘Let’s go.’
Andie chuckles and waves at Joe. ‘Sorry,’ she says as Trish drunkly stumbles away with her, leaving Joe dejected with an unfinished game of darts.
—
A year down the road, and Joe is moving into a decent sized home with the same terrifying strawberry blonde he is so fond of. He can’t actually believe it, even as he’s helping the moving company unload boxes from the big square truck into their house. He somehow managed to continue crossing paths with her again and again in random spots around Chicago; the coffee shop, the park, everywhere. Eventually she finally gave him her number. And then they were doomed. Really, he was doomed from the start.
Joe slumps back against the wall once he’s finished bringing in the last box and huffs, breathing hard. ‘You’re breaking my back here, girl.’ He says, looking at his girlfriend who is perched on one of the boxes, completely superior.
Trisha smiles sweetly. ‘I don’t lift heavy things.’
Joe rolls his eyes and grins anyways. ‘At least help me unpack some stuff.’
‘That, I can do.’ She promises, returning the grin. She hops off the boxes and moves to wrap her arms around his neck, kissing him endearingly. ‘Set up the mattress first so we can have sex in our brand new house,’ she purrs.
Joe grunts. ‘Don’t tease.’ He mumbles, kissing her neck.
She laughs and nips his ear. ‘What makes you think I’m teasing?’ She is; she’s too excited to set up her studio and make the kitchen domestic and pink, not to mention the Star Wars action figures she has to set up precisely around the big living room. She wants to make the spare room cozy and the two bathrooms themed. Joe’s heard all of the plans a million times over.
Joe laughs and gives her a squeeze. ‘The look in your eyes.’ He lets go of her. ‘Let’s unpack some stuff and then maybe we’ll revisit that idea.’
Trish laughs, grinning fondly. He knows her well.
*
Joe falls back onto the bare mattress on the floor of their brand new room with Trish. They didn’t make much damage; they’d spent most of their time wandering around and admiring the big house, dreamily imagining what they could do with the place. Mostly, they just unpacked things that they really needed, and then gave up.
‘Can you believe it?’ he asks, pulling the thin blanket over them. They’re lucky it’s summer.
She smiles and throws a leg over his hips and an arm over his chest, kissing his chin. ‘Yeah. Can’t you?’ she chuckles.
‘No,’ he sighs, wrapping an arm around her. ‘It’s still surreal.’
‘You’re just too simple minded,’ she teases him, nipping his jaw.
Joe laughs and rolls his eyes. ‘Whatever,’ he says, beaming at her like she’s as shiny-new as the house. He presses a sweet kiss to her lips. ‘I love you.’ He murmurs.
‘Love is for the weak,’ she smirks. She’s still as mean as she was when she stole his Neurosis record at Borders.
He remembers asking her to move in with him and the way she kissed him and dragged him back to her house to start packing right away. He was looking through her records as she packed them and found the one she snatched from him. ‘You still have this?’ he chuckled.
‘Yeah,’ she teased, ‘It’s my fondest memory of you.’
‘Rude!’ Joe whined, but he didn’t expect anything less.
—
‘You might want to sit down.’
Joe is fucking terrified. Is she going to break up with him? His mind is going three thousand miles per hour, analyzing everything that has happened in their relationship so far. Okay, sure, he fucking hates doing the dishes.. and maybe he’s bad at cleaning the toilet. He doesn’t like to watch chick flicks with her unless he’s stoned or drunk, but she’s making him give all that up and leave it in the past with his teenage years. But he didn’t think he was that bad of a boyfriend…
Once he is actually sitting, stressed, Patricia sits too, taking one of his hands in both of her smaller ones. ‘Joe…’ she says slowly, closing her eyes and taking a breath.
Joe pinches his nose with his free fingers before shoving them through his hair. ‘Can you just tell me, please?’ he manages to squeak after a prolonged silence.
‘I’m… I’m..’ she starts to cry a little, laughing. ‘I’m pregnant.’
Joe’s eyes widen. Holy shit. ‘Holy shit. You are?’
Trish covers her mouth and nods, staring at him and grinning through watery eyes. They’d been trying for at least three months.
Joe laughs a little, shocked. He pulls her against him and hugs her for a long time, kissing her soft hair. How could he be so stupid to think she would break up with him when they were on such a high kick lately? ‘I love you,’ he whispers, kissing her neck and shoulder.
‘I love you too,’ she laughs, slumping against him. She’s always wanted a child.
—
Joe is kissing Trish feverishly, heavy breaths being exchanged between them. There’s dejected Chinese takeout on the coffee table and Friends is on the tv in the background. His hand is on her boob like a teenage boy’s. She kisses back just as deeply, her hand over his. She intertwines her fingers with his, grinning when he chuckles. ‘You’ve become soft.’ Joe murmurs, teasing.
‘I have not,’ Trish breaths stubbornly. ‘I still have lots of pack to my punch.’
Joe laughs. ‘If you say so,’ he murmurs, running his hand from her chest to her belly, kissing down her neck to press his lips to her stomach as well. He can’t believe he’s actually gotten mature enough to have a child. He never thought he would be capable to be a father.
Trish giggles, running her fingers into his hair and tugging a little. ‘I could knock you one.. If I wanted to.’
‘I don’t doubt it.’ Joe chuckles, nuzzling her and pushing up her shirt to kiss her skin and be closer. ‘Soon.’ He whispers. ‘Just a couple more months before I get to meet you.’ He never thought he’d be the weirdo that talked to his girlfriend’s stomach.
Patricia smiles down at him, playing with his hair. She is glowing.
Joe looks up at her, just as content. His face brightens more and he digs through his pockets as she looks at him with confusion. He pulls out a small box. He’s been carrying this box around with him for months, waiting for the perfect time. He imagined it to be somewhere beautiful and fantastic, extravagant, but this is just as beautiful and perfect to him; in the house they worked so hard for, with her and Chinese takeout. ‘Marry me?’ He whispers.
Trish gasps a little, taken off guard as he opens the box to reveal a thin silver band with a single diamond. ‘Yes.’ She replies, choking up. She has grown soft. ‘Yes.’
Joe grins and slides the ring onto her finger as a few tears escape her. He is quick to catch them and wipe them away. ‘Babe.’ He grins a little, knowingly.
Trish laughs through her tears and smacks his shoulder. ‘Shut up.’
—
Joe and Patricia’s relationship wasn’t all fluff and happy days. Sometimes Joe got the sucker punches he deserved. Though he never laid a hand on his fiancé, she wasn’t afraid to put him in his place. Arguments over the phone always ended with a sheepish, ‘Whatever. Okay. Love you, bye.’ They always got over it, even when the trying task of figuring out what to name the child sent them spiraling into a two week long argument. Who knew names could cause so much stress in a relationship?
It is all worth it, though, when Joe wakes up at four in the morning to take a panicked Trisha to the hospital. It’s all worth it when she’s breaking his hand with a death grip, pulling his hair, and when he’s feeling her ice cubes when all she really wants is a cold hard drink of whiskey. It is all completely worth it when he is the one that gets to witness it all, pull her through it, cut the cord and watch her hold their newborn daughter, when he too gets to hold her for the first time. He never thought he would handle something so small and fragile, feel so deeply for anything. All the morning sicknesses, backrubs, foot rubs, dishes, and having to clean toilets was worth it. He had shaped out to be a good father along the way. He’d made it. They’d made it.
He wraps an arm around Patricia, kissing her forehead and then her lips, running his thumb gently over the little girl’s head. Five years ago, he could never see himself having a child. Facing it now, though, he has never been more content.
‘What are you going to name her?’ Trish’s mom, who is visiting now that she’s allowed, asks.
‘Ruby.’ Patricia answers, smiling wide. ‘Our baby Ruby.’
Joe beams, kissing her cheek. ‘I love you.’
‘Weak.’
Joe laughs. ‘Yeah. Maybe.’