Chapter Text
Billy moans in deep satisfaction as he bites into a freshly baked calzone. There’s nothing like fresh food truck cuisine. Billy sits at a picnic table near the harbor. It’s the same location where he met up with Frank so long ago. The sun beats down on him but Billy wore sunblock and his favorite pair of shades. There’s a cool breeze coming off the water.
“Don’t make that noise while you’re eating, it’s indecent,” Frank nudges Billy’s shoulder. They’re at a picnic table, sitting side by side and a lot closer than they would have before all this. Frank’s warm thigh presses against Billy’s, legs always spread wide like he has to take up extra space.
“It’s so good, Frankie. Have a bite,” Billy smiles and brings the food up to his mouth. Frank leans away so the food doesn't crash into his mouth and he shakes his head. Billy just chuckles.
“I’m good,” Frank takes a swig from his cold beer instead. They thought this might be a good place to meet up with Madani. Well, Frank suggested it. Billy has a feeling this was just an excuse to take him out on a pseudo date. Frank thinks he’s sneaky but Billy knows what he’s up to.
“More for me then,” Billy shrugs and continues to eat his delicious treat. He can’t be mad at Frank for trying. He admits to himself that this is nice. Billy feels… truly happy. The muscles in his cheeks feel overworked with how much he’s been smiling today.
Frank makes him feel like everything will be okay. As long as he’s there, things will work out somehow. It’s a scary feeling, relying on someone else for his happiness but Billy can’t help feeling a sense of security too. There’s just something about Frank that exudes steadfast loyalty. Billy has never known him to go against his word. He’s never turned his back on a brother, let alone a loved one. It’s hard to doubt him when Frank keeps proving him wrong at every turn.
Billy always had reasons to doubt others. He grew up seeing the worst in people. You begin to expect it all the time, even when someone is treating you with kindness. Billy knows that doesn’t mean anything. That generosity always came with a price. They could hold that over him and say you owe me. That was the catch. When he first met Frank, he thought he was just like everyone else. Billy always kept himself at a careful distance. He couldn't let himself trust people who would only use him. So, when the time came for Billy to use them first, he took those opportunities. He was so fucking stupid for thinking that Frank was just like the rest of them. He couldn’t see that Frank never wanted to use him, he never wanted to hurt Billy, he just wanted to be his friend.
And now Frank wants to be more than that for some crazy reason Billy will never understand. He could easily be with that woman, Karen. He could have another family if he wanted. She could give him things that Billy will never be able to. But then Frank said those words, those devastating and dangerous words, I love you. Billy wanted to deny them but he knows that Frank would never say those words if he didn’t mean them. You can’t choose who you fall in love with and that’s a hard truth that Billy is starting to realize himself. He wouldn’t put himself through all that if he didn’t love Frank. But Billy isn’t sure if he can admit it aloud. It feels like a shameful secret that he has to hide. The word love never felt right coming out of his mouth.
“You got something…” Frank chirps in. He sets his beer down on the table before he lays a hand against Billy’s neck. His touch sends distant memories to come flooding to the forefront of his mind. His body can’t help associating his touch with all the ways Frank’s made him feel good. His touch is like a small dose of euphoria.
“What?” Billy turns to him and raises an eyebrow over the rim of his sunglasses. Frank leans in as if he’s going to kiss Billy and he’s too shocked to do anything about it. Billy just freezes as Frank’s tongue peaks out to lick underneath Billy’s bottom lip. His eyes have to be as wide as dinner plates but Frank can’t see anything past the shades. Billy isn’t even breathing.
He can feel the all-consuming heat travel through his body. Frank should know better than to do some shit like that. Billy makes a small trapped noise that sounds like desperation and Frank responds by actually landing a warm kiss against his lips. Billy turns away quickly in surprise.
“Frank, not here-” Billy hisses and looks around in paranoia. The harbor is empty, except for the food truck but the man is cooking with his back turned. Billy’s pulse flutters with anxiety.
“Relax, no one is around,” Frank soothes his hand down Billy’s shoulder. He pulls away regardless because he knows he’s pushed too far.
“Sorry, this is just a little weird because I had a thing with Dinah, now I have a thing with you,” Billy sighs and sets his calzone down on the table, neatly wrapped, appetite suddenly lost.
“Yeah, that’s awkward. You don’t think she would approve of your lifestyle choice?” Frank asks but it almost sounds rhetorical. He’s not sure if he’s referring to homophobia or the simple fact that Frank is The Punisher.
“I mean- it’s complicated. You’re The Punisher, she’s homeland. I don’t think she’d approve of your lifestyle choice,” Billy emphasizes the latter. Dinah doesn't know that Billy has a corrupt past so she’d probably think that Frank is a bad influence on him. When it's the opposite, in fact.
“Very few people do,” Frank agrees.
“She’s not happy that you killed all the scumbags she was after. She wanted to put them through the system,” Billy takes a drink from his beer to wash down the food. His lips still tingle from the soft press of Frank’s lips. He hates that he had to put a stop to it but he couldn’t risk the possibility of Dinah seeing them. That’s not a discussion he’s ready to have.
“Like hell I’d let that happen,” Frank snorts and his attention is pulled away. There’s the sound of heels clicking on the pavement.
Billy notices Dinah making her way over to them. She’s dressed professionally, a determined set to her features. When she gets close enough, she nods towards Billy.
“Billy, you look well,” Dinah gives a smile, and then her attention lands on Frank, smile turning tight. “Frank Castle, in the flesh. You’re a hard man to find. I’ve been doing a lot of research on you.”
“So I’ve heard,” Frank acknowledges with a look toward Billy.
”Dinah Madani, homeland security,” Dinah extends her hand across the table and Frank accepts the handshake, never one to be disrespectful, especially to a lady.
Billy just silently watches the exchange between them. He doesn’t necessarily have to be here for this but Frank wanted him to come. It’s a Sunday and he doesn’t have anything better to do, so he figured he might as well get as much time with Frank as he can before he has to go back to work tomorrow. Billy hasn’t asked but he wonders if Frank plans to stay the night.
“Pleasure, I’m sure. Billy tells me you have a deal to offer me,” Frank releases her hand and she takes a seat across from them. It feels strange for the three of them to be sitting here where it all started.
“I suspect you may know something about my Kandahar case, seeing as you’ve killed all of my suspects,” Dinah crosses her arms over her chest, she still seems bitter about that.
“Trust me, they had it coming. I wasn’t about to let them get locked up. Nah, that’s not good enough. The things they’ve done? Irredeemable,” Frank doesn’t hesitate in his response. He has an air about him that says and I'd do it again. If Dinah is expecting an apology, she’s got the wrong one. Frank took out the ones who killed his wife, his son, his little girl. There’s no way he’s gonna regret that decision.
Billy’s mind hyper-fixates on the word Frank used, irredeemable. He has to apply that to himself in this case. Maybe he can never be redeemed but he doesn’t have to be. Billy can continue to be selfish and take this little thing for himself. Just this one thing. What Frank doesn’t know won’t hurt him and the man has already been through so much. Billy couldn’t stand to put him through anything else. No, he’ll bring that secret to his grave just so they can both have a small semblance of happiness.
Dinah is silent for a moment. She’s probably trying to get a feel for Frank, analyzing his responses. This is the first time she’s had the chance to speak with him face to face. All she knows about him is what she’s learned from intelligence or Billy himself. He wants to be polite and offer to buy her a beer but he doesn’t want to miss any of the conversation. He’s suddenly glad that Frank pressured him into coming. Dinah seems to accept that answer begrudgingly, defeated in the face of a man who lost more than one person ever should. She reaches into her pocket to pull out her cellphone.
“Do you mind if I record this conversation?” Dinah opens what Billy only assumes is some kind of background audio recording app.
“Go ahead,” Frank allows, his posture relaxed as he leans his arms against the table. It’s warm outside so he’s wearing short sleeves. The muscles of his biceps are on full display. Billy can see the scar from the first time he patched up Frank. It looks rough and obvious against the rest of his smooth skin. Billy has the sudden urge to run his fingers across it to feel the texture.
“Just to be clear, this won’t be the official statement but I want as much verbal affirmation as possible,” Dinah starts the recording and then she flips to her personal photos.
“Do you recognize this man?” Dinah pulls up a photo. It’s a photograph of her and some man. He looks a lot happier but Billy recognizes him from the leaked interrogation video.
“Yeah, he was a high-value target,” Frank supplies after a moment of studying the photo. He’s killed so many people but that one was more personal than a lot of Frank’s mindless killings. Most faces stick with you whether you like it or not.
“I’m sorry, what?” Dinah asks, probably confused by the word target. Billy picks up his calzone and tries to blend into the background of their conversation while he finishes his meal. The crinkling of the wrapper doesn’t go unnoticed.
“We were told he was an enemy of the state,” Frank elaborates and his thigh nudges into Billy. What? He’s just eating. It’s not rude or anything. His food is getting cold!
“Who’s we?” Dinah squints her eyes and only gives a passing glance to Billy licking some grease from his fingers. She looks like she is trying very hard not to kick him.
“In Kandahar, I was part of a team called Cerberus. We all thought we were tasked to assassinate enemy targets. I thought it was unusual and asked if Congress approved the operation but in the marines, you don’t question your superiors. You just follow orders, that’s what I did. Turns out it was just a cover for drug smuggling. That man right there? He must have gotten too close to figuring it out. So, he was eliminated.”
“Who led this operation?” Dinah taps nervously on the wooden tabletop. Billy can practically feel her pent-up energy. She’s finally getting the answers she’s been searching for.
“We knew him as Agent Orange, otherwise known as William Rawlins,” Frank rubs his hands together. Billy is momentarily distracted. It’s a good thing he wore shades today, he’s free to look where he pleases.
“The same man you spoke of, Billy. You were also a part of this team,” Dinah interrupts and Billy nearly flinches at being caught ogling. She looks at him expectantly and it takes a second for the words to catch up.
“Yeah, the very same,” Billy clears his throat. He’s good, he wasn’t caught. That was just awkward timing. Billy needs to get a grip. He wonders if he’ll ever get used to the effects Frank has on him. He doesn’t even have to do anything. Frank can just be sitting there, minding his own business, and Billy will slowly just lose his goddamn mind.
“This man was my partner. Did Rawlins tell you to execute him?” Dinah directs her attention to Frank, clearly not interested in Billy’s internal dilemma.
“Rawlins interrogated him in another language, and then he ordered me to pull the trigger. I didn’t know he was innocent,” Frank looks apologetic. He probably blames himself for taking an innocent life but he was manipulated. Rawlins used him, just as he played on Billy’s insecurities.
Rawlins must have seen that Billy was damaged goods. Had he looked into Billy’s past? He must have. You can’t just trust anyone with the sort of information he shared with Billy. They didn’t know each other outside of operation Cerberus. So, what made Rawlins trust him? He knew he had something Billy couldn’t refuse. He used Billy’s lack of empathy to his advantage. He wasn’t as dumb as he seemed.
“Were you there too?” Dinah questions Billy again, referring to the interrogation.
“No, Frank and I led separate teams. I must have been tasked with something else at the time,” Billy can’t remember what he was doing then but it’s not important anyway. Everything they did was illegal.
“They branded Zubair a traitor. I wanted to get the men who did this to him, but you got to them first. All I can hope for now is to clear his name. Would you be willing to testify in court?”
“If you can guarantee my immunity, I don’t see why not,” Frank fiddles with his beer bottle, long callused fingers silently driving Billy mad. He has to look away and focus on finishing his food.
“Of course, I can get you a new identity. You can start over somewhere new,” Dinah assures.
“I want to stay in Hell’s Kitchen, and I already have an identity, it’s Pete Castiglione,” Frank looks over at Billy just then and Billy has to swallow the large lump of food suddenly caught in his throat. He reaches for his beer to ease it down. Frank can’t just catch him off guard like that!
“You want to stay in the city where everyone knows your face?” Dinah asks, disbelieving. She observes the nonverbal exchange between them and raises an eyebrow.
“I can hide in plain sight,” Frank shrugs and pulls his attention away from Billy who’s finishing the last remnants of his beer.
“I can get you immunity but I can’t promise you won’t be a target. It’s risky for you to stay here,” Dinah isn’t talking about the law, although that’s a possibility as well. She has to be referring to all of the enemies Frank has made in Hell’s Kitchen. He disrupted a lot of corrupt businesses. There’s probably a hefty bounty on his head.
“That’s my terms,” Frank leaves no room for debate. Billy is used to being on the receiving end of it. Dinah, not so much.
“Okay but you have to stop killing people,” Dinah gives an incredulous smile. Maybe she can’t fathom why Frank would want to stay in a city that wants him dead.
“Figured as much. It won’t be a problem. I was after certain people and they're gone now, so. I’ll be on my best behavior,” Frank chirps and his hand suddenly lands on Billy’s thigh underneath the table, it’s just a few gentle pats but Billy nearly flies out of his seat. If Dinah notices, she doesn’t care.
“I can only grant you immunity once, so make sure that you do, Mr. Castle,” Dinah stops the recording and puts her phone away.
“Yes, ma’am,” Frank acknowledges.
“The sooner you can see me for an official statement, the better. I will get to work on your immunity as soon as we have you on record. I’ll be expecting you, until then,” Dinah removes herself from the table and she gives a nod towards Billy. He can feel a slight flush coloring his cheeks, he hopes Dinah chooses to ignore that as well.
“Billy, take care of yourself,” Dinah says before she’s clicking away in her heels. She doesn’t wait for an answer. Billy can feel his muscles loosen as she drives off in her mustang.
“You guys don’t seem like exes,” Frank looks at Billy curiously. He’s got this hidden amusement that he can’t hide completely. Billy is starting to be able to read him better.
“We were never officially dating. I think she just wanted to use me to get to you,” Billy admits, they were both using each other for one reason or the other.
“So, I’m like the opposite of cockblocking,” Frank nods his head in understanding.
“Shut up and finish this,” Billy chuckles and shoves the rest of his calzone into Frank’s face. He gets some on Frank’s upper lip and some lands on his nose before he’s grabbing ahold of Billy’s wrist. A smile breaks out across Frank’s face and he makes a noise of complaint.
“Now who’s gonna clean that up?” Frank growls playfully. He swipes his thumb across his nose and sucks it into his mouth. Billy can feel his pulse flutter with excitement and want. Billy quickly looks around out of habit but no one is there and the man in the food truck is still occupied with cooking.
“Let me make it up to you,” Billy smiles and grabs at Frank’s neck to hold him steady for his attack.
Billy leans in to lick the mess from his upper lip. Frank laughs and flinches away at first as if it tickles but he doesn’t protest. He comes back and presses his lips against Billy’s. Humming his satisfaction with this careless public display of affection.
Billy pulls back and looks at Frank, giddy with emotion. He almost wants to say the words.